unsupportive spouse of food allergy diet

hdlb111

Do you meal plan? Can you sit down with your husband and make up dinner for the week, things that everyone else will eat, but that you can eat too? Things like tacos. You can have yours in lettuce instead of a tortilla. Or use rice pasta for mac n cheese instead of wheat pasta. Or if you know that the plan is to make lasagna etc, you can have some grilled chicken breast prepared and ready to eat when you get home.

I have celiac, and my son is also gluten free. We do alot of planning so that we can avoid having different dinners as much as possible. I don't agree with the people who said to get rid of all gluten in the house, its not fair to the people who can have gluten. Unless you are a Celiac that is so sensitive you get sick off bread crumb cross contamination, its really not neccesary to get rid of it all.

You can also start replacing sauces and things with the GF options. Things like bbq sauce and soy sauce etc, so that they aren't used on your food.

runnermama81

I recently found out that a wheat allergy is probably causing migraines I have had most my life.

Probably or definitely? Also, your symptoms don't sound like a wheat allergy, rather a wheat intolerance.

Just curious....why does it matter?

lyttlewon

I recently found out that a wheat allergy is probably causing migraines I have had most my life.

Probably or definitely? Also, your symptoms don't sound like a wheat allergy, rather a wheat intolerance.

Just curious....why does it matter?

This is what I was trying to explain earlier. An allergy is an autoimmune disease and it means something different physiologically to have one than it does to have an intolerance. They both make you sick, but the consequences of mismanagement are vastly different.

That_Girl

I am gluten intolerant but still buy wheat items for my family. Gluten free items ARE expensive, so I get that.

I think though, that for the OP, it's best to cook her own foods. I don't see the big deal. Have things you can quickly make for nights you work late and nicely tell your husband not to worry about cooking for you for a while.

but to go completely gluten free kitchen is expensive. It's half the volume for double the price. Believe me.

My "intolerance" leaves me in pain/weak/miserable for days after being "glutened". It's no different than an allergy. I do not have Celiac disease, thankfully, but I know when I've had gluten. It sucks.

alaskaang

I recently found out that a wheat allergy is probably causing migraines I have had most my life.

Probably or definitely? Also, your symptoms don't sound like a wheat allergy, rather a wheat intolerance.

Just curious....why does it matter?

This is what I was trying to explain earlier. An allergy is an autoimmune disease and it means something different physiologically to have one than it does to have an intolerance. They both make you sick, but the consequences of mismanagement are vastly different.

The biggest difference between an allergy and an intollerance is the type and timing of symptoms. Most allergic reactions are quick and violent - i.e. hives, coughing, sneezing, shortness of breath, acute swelling anaphylactic(sp?) shock. Intollerances are generally more passive and make take longer to show up - i.e. upset stomach, general inflammation, joint aches etc but are not necessarily any less severe or miserable. Autoimmune conditions are a whole other level that could be caused by either.

Even mild gluten intollerance is nothing to take lightly as ignored it can continue to damage until you end up with an autoimmune disease.

Going to a 100% gluten free household does not have to be more expensive, but it does take more planning and less pre-packaged foods.

mulderpf

I recently found out that a wheat allergy is probably causing migraines I have had most my life.

Probably or definitely? Also, your symptoms don't sound like a wheat allergy, rather a wheat intolerance.

Just curious....why does it matter?

Well you don't seem to be sure if this is related either. I'm trying to be helpful here and show you how your response has probably caused much of this, because even another response, you say "it's just a headache, not exactly life-threatening" or something to that effect.

If you want your husband to take this seriously, I think you need to take it seriously first. But from the little you've written, I am wondering if you aren't doing this as a fad, rather than something that is actually wrong with you, using a few headaches as proof why you should stick to your new fad diet. I am sure he is wondering the same thing!

taunto

Men can be idiots. Sometimes you have to treat them like 3 year olds and tell them exactly what you want them to do.

Would you like if a man posted "women can be idiots..."? No. This is not ok.

I love my husband, I really do...but after 18 years with him, I think I can definitively say that sometimes he CAN be an idiot. He is brilliant when it comes to some things, but sometimes he doesn't *get* relationship stuff. Several years ago he went on a winter camping trip ON my birthday. he didn't understand why I was mad that he had time to go to walmart and get our son gloves ( which required walking RIGHT by the card department) but "didn't have time" to take 2 minutes to at least grab a card to acknowledge that my birthday was taking place.

I never said "all men are idiots" ...I said " men CAN be idiots" . If someone wanted to say "women can be idiots" I wouldn't worry. because I know I am not an idiot.

Your statement where you gender stereotype begs to differ.

OP: I don't think he's doing this on purpose. He's most likely in a routine and simply forgets about your allergy or doesn't think you can not have that item. This will take time and patience, I don't think he's doing this to hurt you

GypsysBloodRose26

Men can be idiots. Sometimes you have to treat them like 3 year olds and tell them exactly what you want them to do.

Would you like if a man posted "women can be idiots..."? No. This is not ok.

I agree. This is a horrible thing to post. Gender discrimination is not okay.

And this is completely off-topic...

celebrity328

I have an allergy to gluten

I have found that some items that should not have gluten/wheat in them may actually contain it. You have to read the actual lable to find out if something is processed with items that could cross contaminate the food. I have heard that Trader Joes foods that are "gluten free" have a real rep for making people sick !

My husband eats gluten however he knows that certain areas in the kitchen are "gluten free" areas. One of us always cooks more then we eat that way I have left overs for work/dinner the next night if I work late. I eat clean but if im in a lazy/tired mood I pop a couple eggs on the stove and call it a night

runnermama81

I recently found out that a wheat allergy is probably causing migraines I have had most my life.

Probably or definitely? Also, your symptoms don't sound like a wheat allergy, rather a wheat intolerance.

Just curious....why does it matter?

Well you don't seem to be sure if this is related either. I'm trying to be helpful here and show you how your response has probably caused much of this, because even another response, you say "it's just a headache, not exactly life-threatening" or something to that effect.

If you want your husband to take this seriously, I think you need to take it seriously first. But from the little you've written, I am wondering if you aren't doing this as a fad, rather than something that is actually wrong with you, using a few headaches as proof why you should stick to your new fad diet. I am sure he is wondering the same thing!

Wow. Just wow. If you knew me at all you would know I don't do fad diets. You're right that I dont know if I have Celiac disease, in fact I am pretty sure I don't. What I know is that when I avoid wheat I feel better. I don't get headaches or acid reflux. This really isn't about losing weight at all.

alaskaang

I am wondering if you aren't doing this as a fad, rather than something that is actually wrong with you, using a few headaches as proof why you should stick to your new fad diet.

This attitude is one of the reasons it is very difficult to be gluten free........ Condescending A**HOLES without a clue!

runnermama81

I am wondering if you aren't doing this as a fad, rather than something that is actually wrong with you, using a few headaches as proof why you should stick to your new fad diet.

This attitude is one of the reasons it is very difficult to be gluten free........ Condescending A**HOLES without a clue!

Thank you!

mulderpf

Wow. Just wow. If you knew me at all you would know I don't do fad diets. You're right that I dont know if I have Celiac disease, in fact I am pretty sure I don't. What I know is that when I avoid wheat I feel better. I don't get headaches or acid reflux. This really isn't about losing weight at all.

So you have gone from wheat allergy, to gluten intolerance to Celiac disease. But you don't know what you have.

You were moaning on here because your husband doesn't support your diet and I was merely pointing out that it's because you are not taking it seriously. Even on here you say that you think you may have it, but then you go on to belittle it by saying that it's not exactly life-threatening, you just get a few headaches. If you want him to support you, then you need to take this as seriously as it could potentially be.

In other words, go to a doctor and have this officially diagnosed. If you really have Celiac disease and you can show this to your husband, then he will take you seriously, because then he is actually endangering your life. But for as long as you say, I may or may not have this and that, it's simply a fad and you have no basis for complaining when he goes "oh whatever".

runnermama81

Wow. Just wow. If you knew me at all you would know I don't do fad diets. You're right that I dont know if I have Celiac disease, in fact I am pretty sure I don't. What I know is that when I avoid wheat I feel better. I don't get headaches or acid reflux. This really isn't about losing weight at all.

So you have gone from wheat allergy, to gluten intolerance to Celiac disease. But you don't know what you have.

You were moaning on here because your husband doesn't support your diet and I was merely pointing out that it's because you are not taking it seriously. Even on here you say that you think you may have it, but then you go on to belittle it by saying that it's not exactly life-threatening, you just get a few headaches. If you want him to support you, then you need to take this as seriously as it could potentially be.

In other words, go to a doctor and have this officially diagnosed. If you really have Celiac disease and you can show this to your

husband, then he will take you seriously, because then he is actually endangering your life. But for as long as you say, I may or may not have this and that, it's simply a fad and you have no basis for complaining when he goes "oh whatever".

You are a jerk to put it politely.

citygirl1140

I have celiac and know what a struggle you are having. I just went through our cupboards and got rid of anything that has gluten in it. I bought all new gluten free spices and told my hubby "NO Gluten" in this house. Its hard when they don't realize the severity of them being careless. I finally got through to my hubby when I told him I wasn't prepared to die from cancer because he wants cook with gluten containing ingredients just because it may be easy for him. I am prepared to cook my own meals if he insists on eating gluten. He knows he is to clean up so that he doesn't cause any cross-contamination with my food. You just have to educated people. In a loving and care way of course

citygirl1140

Going to a 100% gluten free household does not have to be more expensive, but it does take more planning and less pre-packaged foods.

Going gluten free where I live is considerably more expensive. Bread in the store is 7.00 a loaf rather than 1.25. Of course I could bake my own but the flour is much more expensive too. Just saying...

happyheathen927

I feel for you, op. I was dx as t2 diabetic almost 3 years ago and my husband STILL forgets that I'm diabetic. It drives me CRAZY. I do all the cooking, so that's not an issue, but he brings me frozen yogurt (not the sf kind) with all kinds of candy toppings, or a candy bar, etc. I know it's supposed to be the thought that counts, but how much thought does it take to say, hmmm, maybe my diabetic wife would appreciate a different kind of treat?

The only other comment I have is that going gluten-free, whatever your reasons, doesn't have to be crazy-expensive. We've been GF for a year and I have yet to buy a $7 loaf of bread. I do buy almond flour in bulk so it's far cheaper, and I bake often with that. I do, very occasionally, buy GF pasta for my kids, but our diets mainly consist of meats, veggies, fruits, nuts and healthy fats. There are resources online for eating GF (and dairy-free too, which we are) on a budget.

I understand the need to vent; I hope you're able to work something out with your husband.

paintedpixie

If you do the shopping just quit buying the stuff you don't want in the house. Buy all gluten free pastas, forget about bread, etc. luckily I do the shopping and the cooking. My husband is gluten free, I am mostly gluten free and we limit our kids. It is a tough hait to change. My FIL has celiacs and my husband likely does too. He has a severe reaction to gluten and wheat. It is a totall different way of eating. I agree with the above mentioned meal plans for him to follow, make sure ingredients are in the house, easy to find and taste good for everyone. Also, pre make some meals when you have time off. Make crockpot meals in the morning so they are ready for everyone when they get home, freeze meals individually for quick grab and go meals and take it easy on your hubby. I have been on my weight loss journey for over a year and my hubs still brings home fast food and junk food. Sometimes we think about ourselves before others and sometimes we just don't think at all. Good luck to you.

flechero

Explain it like this... "Honey, it's an allergy that causes me pain lots of pain.... and from this point forward, you cooking it for us will cause you not to have sex anymore. No, I'm not kidding."

I bet he shapes up in under a week.

alaskaang

Going to a 100% gluten free household does not have to be more expensive, but it does take more planning and less pre-packaged foods.

Going gluten free where I live is considerably more expensive. Bread in the store is 7.00 a loaf rather than 1.25. Of course I could bake my own but the flour is much more expensive too. Just saying...

Which is why I said more planning and less pre-packaged food. I rarely buy "gluten free" products. Bread is just no longer something we have. Sandwiches are now in lettuce wraps, Enchiladas are in steamed cabbage rolls, and Pasta has been replaced with vegetables. Our primary starches are now rice and potatoes, both of which are pretty inexpensive.