Before You Weigh In...

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Replies

  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    guys, make sure you rub out at least one too...a hefty load can really add up.
    and ladies who squirt, go ahead and do the same. fluid is heavy, people!
  • jnn0409
    jnn0409 Posts: 171 Member
    Ok, so I'v shaved my head/body, gotten rid of unnecessary organs, sold my soul, cleaned my belly button, trimmed my nails, scrubbed away the dead skin, lost my sense of humor.... and I'm still fat. Now I look ridiculous.

    LOL!
  • xo_Sarah_xo
    xo_Sarah_xo Posts: 308 Member
    OMG, I'm dying, can't...breathe. I have to add, I weighed myself last week, farted, then weighed again just for sh**s and giggles, and it went down a pound. True story. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    [/quote



    Dying....can't breath......:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • xo_Sarah_xo
    xo_Sarah_xo Posts: 308 Member
    guys, make sure you rub out at least one too...a hefty load can really add up.
    and ladies who squirt, go ahead and do the same. fluid is heavy, people!

    :laugh: Alright, I see we have now moved on to gross-out humor.....hmmmm, my contribution to that is ladies please remove any feminine hygiene products - surely to god that has to factor in!!!
  • Chuckle_n_Dwindle
    Chuckle_n_Dwindle Posts: 134
    OK I followed those first rules for getting on the scale and was arrested immediately... evidently it's illegal to strip at a Walgreens before getting on the scale...hmmmm thanks now I have to go to court...
    I can just see how this went down too...
    Officer: Sir we've had complaints...
    JerBear: (in his birthday suit at Walgreens, with an 80 year old customer in the crowd instagraming) Well, you see officer, there was this thread on MFP...
    Officer: You're on LSD?! You have the right to remain silent...
    JerBear: It was all in the name of weight loss!!!
  • JWB42
    JWB42 Posts: 112
    Who would have thought all MFPers could be stand up comedians! You guys/gals are AWESOME! Thanks for the much needed laugh!
  • Chuckle_n_Dwindle
    Chuckle_n_Dwindle Posts: 134
    Pop all your pimples so there is no pus adding to your total!

    I think I vomited just a little bit...
  • SexyLovinmeCook
    SexyLovinmeCook Posts: 1,393 Member
    Shower in Hot Water...promise you will drop at least .2-.4 of a pd....:bigsmile:
  • Love_flowers
    Love_flowers Posts: 365 Member
    This is a hilarious thread! :laugh:
  • mandy0688
    mandy0688 Posts: 335 Member
    Ladies please remove all your makeup. God knows that adds pounds. And clean under your fingernails remove that nail polish and pop off those fake nails. If you have fake eyelashes, remove those too. And please take a shower, god knows the dirt on your body will cause some extra pounds.
  • nikinyx6
    nikinyx6 Posts: 772 Member
    take it from Homer, the towel rack shaves off 20+ lbs :)

    20101101075708-oitltmygcemtmzufx.jpg
  • Coffeeholic8
    Coffeeholic8 Posts: 272 Member
    My scale has a female name, Sabrina. Not sure it works in my favour given that I weigh naked and that can't be a good view for her. :embarassed:

    A severe trimming and manscaping of the gentleman's area has to be worth something I hope. Err I mean I think. I mean so my friend told me. :ohwell:
  • 1917Ashley
    1917Ashley Posts: 100 Member
    Lollll!!!:laugh:
  • bandedsandi
    bandedsandi Posts: 122 Member
    Get rid of a bad attitude, weight will drop dramatically!
  • LynnieG85
    LynnieG85 Posts: 157 Member
    Pluck those eyebrows and shave the legs!!!
  • Chuckle_n_Dwindle
    Chuckle_n_Dwindle Posts: 134
    My scale has a female name, Sabrina. Not sure it works in my favour given that I weigh naked and that can't be a good view for her. :embarassed:

    A severe trimming and manscaping of the gentleman's area has to be worth something I hope. Err I mean I think. I mean so my friend told me. :ohwell:

    hahaha 'manscapping' hahahahaha...
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    I'm not that meticulous... I just deduct 40 lbs for clothes and shoes. Seems like the more sensible option. ;)
  • xo_Sarah_xo
    xo_Sarah_xo Posts: 308 Member
    I'm not that meticulous... I just deduct 40 lbs for clothes and shoes. Seems like the more sensible option. ;)

    40 seems a bit low.....maybe shoot for 45 - I think you will be happy with the result. :laugh:
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
    My friend lost 180lbs by getting a divorce.

    HA! can I claim 98 pounds lost if I'm just seperated ??? or do i have to wait till the paperwork goes through?
  • Flixie00
    Flixie00 Posts: 1,195 Member
    Smother your body in Deep Heat, wrap yourself in cling film, and stand next to a radiator for half an hour. This should sweat off a pound or two.
  • xo_Sarah_xo
    xo_Sarah_xo Posts: 308 Member
    I tried to think of more but my mind drew a blank....I guess that's it.

    I am off to shave my head, donate blood, pick up an enema, book my appendectomy and cholecyctectomy, find someone to remove my soul and have one of those colon flushes.

    Cheers! :drinker:
  • LuLuChick78
    LuLuChick78 Posts: 439 Member
    Bump! :laugh: :drinker:
  • Sarah_L_S
    Sarah_L_S Posts: 121
    If you wax rather than shave, you will pul out the roots of the hair too, so will become even lighter!

    Also, a long sauna to dehydrate as much as possible.
  • LuLuChick78
    LuLuChick78 Posts: 439 Member
    Yes, great thinking!!! I will wax from now on... :p
  • stylistchicky
    stylistchicky Posts: 561 Member
    My friend lost 180lbs by getting a divorce.

    HA! can I claim 98 pounds lost if I'm just seperated ??? or do i have to wait till the paperwork goes through?

    omg lol. Reading both of these made me snort...which reminds me give a good nose blowing...that could add up
  • chubaway
    chubaway Posts: 1,645 Member
    Toe jam

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