How to deal with people heavier than you.....

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slywon
slywon Posts: 85 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I have been working for two weeks now and feel so much better! I have a 32 pound weight loss journey to take. I am already feeling way more energetic and de-stressed but I am not sure how to deal with the issue of heavier friends that think I am crazy! I know that I am not. I may only have 30 pounds to lose but the difference in so many things tells me I need to. I feel awkward when some friends look at me like I should be happy the way I am because they are more overweight than I am. Does anyone have any comments, opinions on how to deal with this or similar experiences? Just wondering.
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Replies

  • alikat42
    alikat42 Posts: 213 Member
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    For me, I just feel like my weight loss/exercise plan/food intake/etc. is not a topic of conversation for my friends. We have so many more interesting things to do and talk about than my jean size. If/when someone makes a negative/sly comment, I choose to brush it off.
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    It's part of the battle of weight loss, and while most folks I know were hugely supportive during my journey, others were not. I'm confident enough to know that what I'm doing for myself is the right path, so the haters weren't able to sway me one way or another.

    I have also been told that I've lost too much weight and I'm too skinny. What's funny is I'm the exact same weight now as when I was a teenager and I never experienced those comments then.

    There are always going to be people who are threatened by others success - not just weight loss. It could be your career, how much money you make, etc. Don't let it derail you - use it as a way to gage that you are doing something right!
  • foodcallsme
    foodcallsme Posts: 94
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    I know what you mean and I've been there before. Friends and family always tell me that I don't have to lose any weight and that I'm at a healthy weight etc but, it's not true. I'm not at a healthy weight for a person my height (4'11"). They just don't get that. Even my doctor told me that I was in the obese category for a person my height and weight (which was 150+ at the time). I don't know how to deal with people when they try to get me to stop dieting but, I've learned to just smile and ignore them. They mean well and in their own way they really think that they're complimenting us. I try not to let it get to me but, I've learned to avoid the subject of weighloss in general with them. I've noticed they can't be happy for me because they are not happy with themselves and they are struggling with their own body image too. You and me can cheer each other on... so feel free to add me :)
  • jerbear1962
    jerbear1962 Posts: 1,157 Member
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    Everyone is different and you have to have the right mindset to lose weight. You're friends aren't there yet and honestly may never be there. Many people never give losing weight a chance, they live happily or sometimes not so happily all their life. Just be there if they need help or have questions. Maybe as you lose, you will inspire them and they will come ask you for advice. Keep at it and do your best.
  • banks89202
    banks89202 Posts: 270
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    The most important thing is to remember you are doing this for yourself and that's all that matters. I started out being 284lbs ( 10lbs smaller than one of my family members) I am now at 257lbs and she always has a rude comment to make about it. I have asked her to do this with me but she says she loves food too much and wants to get that lap band surgery for an "easy way out" she says. Some people are just that way :(
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
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    Just don't talk about it with them.
  • METHOS3155
    METHOS3155 Posts: 1
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    look every person has a choice to make... your choice was to feel and look better... so be happy about yourself and keep moving forward
  • vmekash
    vmekash Posts: 422 Member
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    I have been at my ideal weight in the past - many years ago. People have commented recently that they cannot imagine where I'm supposed to lose any more weight. I know the sentiment is kind, but I have to tell them that I have been at my ideal weight before, so I know what it is. Besides, since I workout regularly now, my goal weight is actually ten lbs. heavier than what was my "ideal weight" in the past. They seem to let it go at that point.
  • darleyschroeder
    darleyschroeder Posts: 322
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    People are used to seeing large people. It's kinda considered normal to be overweight or obese, at least where I was working. Healthy weight people were kind of a rarity of sorts..
    I have had people tell me I am too skinny, yet one of these ladies also had the audacity to tell me I was too fast several months before I started losing weight.

    If people keep commenting just say something to the effect that you want to be as healthy as you can be and believe it or not the goal weight you have IS healthy.

    People these days seem to think that if you want to be a healthy weight then you must be crazy. I don't get it. I think it might be, at least in my exp and observation, society getting used to larger, unhealthy people.
  • darleyschroeder
    darleyschroeder Posts: 322
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    The most important thing is to remember you are doing this for yourself and that's all that matters. I started out being 284lbs ( 10lbs smaller than one of my family members) I am now at 257lbs and she always has a rude comment to make about it. I have asked her to do this with me but she says she loves food too much and wants to get that lap band surgery for an "easy way out" she says. Some people are just that way :(

    It is probly envy. It's a lot easier to be rude because you have an insecurity than to put in the hard work to lose the weight.
    Good for you on the weight loss, that's a lot of weight!
  • simplydawnb
    simplydawnb Posts: 6 Member
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    This is about YOUR health -- emotional, physical, psychological. You know what you need for you to be strong in all of those ways. People will say things, but they'll also be inspired. Go, girl.
  • angelique_redhead
    angelique_redhead Posts: 782 Member
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    Since I have diabetes and would like to regulate my blood sugars I would suggest that NO ONE give me a problem about me losing weight. I don't plan to go below an 18 BMI.
  • mcsnoogins
    mcsnoogins Posts: 12 Member
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    I would maybe explain it to them by saying that everyone needs a short term goal in life and this is what you want to work on just now, or even call it a hobby. If they get arsey about it maybe they are getting a bit jealous that you've found the motivation to do it? Could even be that by you saying your heavier than you are and want to lose weight they might be reading that as "Hey, i'm smaller than you but i reckon i'm too fat. Whats that say about how i see you"
  • RychelleD
    RychelleD Posts: 103 Member
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    Sometimes people feel that when u start exercising/eating healthy/ dieting etc, that you must be either starting to judge them, or in some way are now in competition with them. Its usually because the other ppl have self esteem issues themselves, or felt they have failed to reach the same goals, you yourself are reaching. People will always judge no matter what you do. either your to skinny or to overweight. So you have to do what makes you happy!
  • mcsnoogins
    mcsnoogins Posts: 12 Member
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    It's easier for people to deny to themselves that they are over weight if they tell slimmer people that THEY are too skinny


    I wanted to quote someone in this post, did it after but can't figure out how to delete this one :(
  • sunshine_gem
    sunshine_gem Posts: 390 Member
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    I ignore them. Don't worry about what other people think of you. You know what you're doing and why you're doing it and that's what's important.
  • banks89202
    banks89202 Posts: 270
    Options
    The most important thing is to remember you are doing this for yourself and that's all that matters. I started out being 284lbs ( 10lbs smaller than one of my family members) I am now at 257lbs and she always has a rude comment to make about it. I have asked her to do this with me but she says she loves food too much and wants to get that lap band surgery for an "easy way out" she says. Some people are just that way :(

    It is probly envy. It's a lot easier to be rude because you have an insecurity than to put in the hard work to lose the weight.
    Good for you on the weight loss, that's a lot of weight!

    That is true! Thank you :D
  • mcsnoogins
    mcsnoogins Posts: 12 Member
    Options
    People are used to seeing large people. It's kinda considered normal to be overweight or obese, at least where I was working. Healthy weight people were kind of a rarity of sorts..
    I have had people tell me I am too skinny, yet one of these ladies also had the audacity to tell me I was too fast several months before I started losing weight.

    If people keep commenting just say something to the effect that you want to be as healthy as you can be and believe it or not the goal weight you have IS healthy.

    People these days seem to think that if you want to be a healthy weight then you must be crazy. I don't get it. I think it might be, at least in my exp and observation, society getting used to larger, unhealthy people.

    It's easier for people to deny to themselves that they are over weight if they tell slimmer people that THEY are too skinny
  • afropoodle
    afropoodle Posts: 9
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    Get new friends. No reason to surround yourself with people who try to hold you back or guilt-trip you for accomplishing something they could never achieve.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
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    It's ridiculous how it's socially acceptable to tell somebody they're too skinny, but not too fat.

    If somebody ever tells me I'm too thin I'm 100% telling them maybe they're just too overweight. People need to reconsider what they're saying before throwing their own personal weight issues on to somebody else.

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