MFP Pet Peeve

Nalgh94
Nalgh94 Posts: 181 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've browsed a few topics over here and I found something that has really bothered me. Certain people have started topics to ask for advice whether on food, exercise or supplments and have been met with the "I'm an expert and this is a stupid inquiry" attitude. Even if you think a certain supplement or practice is not healthy or ineffective, you really don't have to make that person feel bad or stupid about asking. I get that some people here have more knowledge and have already been down the successful journey but some of us here are trying to learn our way around and it would be easier if people didn't ridicule others for questions.

Sorry just a rant but it's been bothering me more and more as I browse this forum looking for serious answers.
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Replies

  • ubermensch13
    ubermensch13 Posts: 824 Member
    Well, not everyone believes in a certain style of giving advice. Many are the tough love types. Especially when it comes to certain things(eating under 1000 calories, diet pills, etc) people react strongly. You also have to realize, many of the vets here have seen the same topic a billion times and probably have given advice many different types of ways before.....frustration sometimes plays a roll.
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
    No one is required to respond. I agree they should be nice or be quiet
  • prairiedawg2014
    prairiedawg2014 Posts: 367
    I've browsed a few topics over here and I found something that has really bothered me. Certain people have started topics to ask for advice whether on food, exercise or supplments and have been met with the "I'm an expert and this is a stupid inquiry" attitude. Even if you think a certain supplement or practice is not healthy or ineffective, you really don't have to make that person feel bad or stupid about asking. I get that some people here have more knowledge and have already been down the successful journey but some of us here are trying to learn our way around and it would be easier if people didn't ridicule others for questions.

    Sorry just a rant but it's been bothering me more and more as I browse this forum looking for serious answers.



    i totally agree!!
  • somemansdream
    somemansdream Posts: 88
    Yes, I have seen how things can easily get out of control here. However, its still a great place to get advice and ideas, support etc.

    Debbie :)
  • wanda9501
    wanda9501 Posts: 114
    The old saying still stands, "If you can't say anything nice, than don't say anything at all"!! We are all here for the same reason and being nasty is not required or needed, especially for someone who just started this new phase in their life. The last thing someone who is trying to lose weight needs, is someone being nasty. That can really make a person feel defeated.

    Good luck to everyone on their journey!!
  • Lrdoflamancha
    Lrdoflamancha Posts: 1,280 Member
    I hate it when someone asks a question, and the first responder tells them to use the search function. Because the question has been answered many times before.
  • Nalgh94
    Nalgh94 Posts: 181 Member
    Yes, I have seen how things can easily get out of control here. However, its still a great place to get advice and ideas, support etc.

    Debbie :)

    Oh I love it here and it's the first place I come to to seek advice. But like the rest have said, if you can't give your advice nicely, maybe it's better to stay quiet
  • apvalletta
    apvalletta Posts: 110 Member
    The old saying still stands, "If you can't say anything nice, than don't say anything at all"!! We are all here for the same reason and being nasty is not required or needed, especially for someone who just started this new phase in their life. The last thing someone who is trying to lose weight needs, is someone being nasty. That can really make a person feel defeated.

    Good luck to everyone on their journey!!

    Well said Wanda & best of luck to all!
  • ubermensch13
    ubermensch13 Posts: 824 Member
    No one is required to respond. I agree they should be nice or be quiet

    Be nice or be quiet--the mantra of the thin skinned. Ugh!
  • Nalgh94
    Nalgh94 Posts: 181 Member
    Well, not everyone believes in a certain style of giving advice. Many are the tough love types. Especially when it comes to certain things(eating under 1000 calories, diet pills, etc) people react strongly. You also have to realize, many of the vets here have seen the same topic a billion times and probably have given advice many different types of ways before.....frustration sometimes plays a roll.

    Very true but they don't have to respond, the person asking the question may also be frustrated and there's no point adding to tha frustration. If someone isn't well informed they may be afraid to ask anymore and that will end up in terrible results
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    my favourite is people who say 'i do x, y and z and i cant lose weight' so people suggest trying a, b or c, and the OP shoots each idea down with an excuse why they couldnt possibly try that... so what did they bother asking for?!
  • Nalgh94
    Nalgh94 Posts: 181 Member
    I hate it when someone asks a question, and the first responder tells them to use the search function. Because the question has been answered many times before.

    Or "just stick to eating less and moving more"...I think everyone here is trying to do that anyways
  • Nalgh94
    Nalgh94 Posts: 181 Member
    my favourite is people who say 'i do x, y and z and i cant lose weight' so people suggest trying a, b or c, and the OP shoots each idea down with an excuse why they couldnt possibly try that... so what did they bother asking for?!

    Well that's a whole different topic which I also agree with. Generally when I inquire here, I at least try to follow the advice and suggestions I get
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    no offense, but did you do a search on this topic too?

    cause it's been done before...and the answers aren't gonna change....

    some people just respond that way, some people don't...MFP is a microcosm of human behaviour and there's no escaping that.

    Jus sayin.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    Anyone who has any forum experience, anywhere, ever, has this same gripe...and the same responses to this gripe will follow which will range from, "Yeah! I agree...people need to learn to be nicer or don't answer, because not everyone knows" to "Don't read what you don't like" to "People respond to difference advice different ways" to "It's called Search...try using it." to "Uggg!!! THIS question AGAIN
  • itsmyvwbeetle
    itsmyvwbeetle Posts: 272 Member
    I hate it when someone asks a question, and the first responder tells them to use the search function. Because the question has been answered many times before.

    Me too!! Why? One person was curious, sure that person could have spent the few seconds and done a search for it and got the answer. But, by asking that question, it may have caused several more people to click on it that possibly also had the same question but it wasnt fresh on their mind.

    Yes we know we can search but is it really that bad to ask a question and get some friendly advice and possibly make a few new friends to encourage on your journey?? I dont think so...
  • greentart
    greentart Posts: 411 Member
    No one is required to respond. I agree they should be nice or be quiet

    Be nice or be quiet--the mantra of the thin skinned. Ugh!


    As an overweight person, I am very thin skinned and self conscious, especially ABOUT my weight and how to lose it. Do I expect everyone to be all cupcakes and rainbows with me? No. However, sometimes when people are struggling with a certain subject, our nerves get the better of us and we forget (or don't know) that there's a search function. Perhaps it's as simple as they were looking for a different answer.

    I think if a person isn't willing to be supportive on a SUPPORTIVE COMMUNITY, then they should keep their traps shut.
  • almc170
    almc170 Posts: 1,093 Member
    Just try to keep context in mind when you're reading some of these posts. They're not always as innocent as they seem. If you look a little closer at some of those "advice-seeking" threads, you'll see that a number of them are started by sales people trying to draw attention to their product. I have no sympathy for them, and they deserve whatever snark is thrown their way. Sometimes, too, people will start a new thread simply because they didn't like an answer they got on an earlier one. That's annoying for people who have taken the time to try to help them.
  • Rags2Righteous
    Rags2Righteous Posts: 200 Member
    I also find this very annoying, although I do understand why some people do it. Another issue I have is when someone makes an inquiry and people respond by telling them to do something that has nothing to do with the question. For example, "Does anyone else juice? What types of recipes/combinations do you like?" and the answer is "Eat your fruits and vegetables whole to get fiber, don't drink them." I get annoyed reading posts like that because the original poster wasn't asking about fiber or whole fruits, but specifically about juicing. Everything has its time and place.
    I've browsed a few topics over here and I found something that has really bothered me. Certain people have started topics to ask for advice whether on food, exercise or supplments and have been met with the "I'm an expert and this is a stupid inquiry" attitude. Even if you think a certain supplement or practice is not healthy or ineffective, you really don't have to make that person feel bad or stupid about asking. I get that some people here have more knowledge and have already been down the successful journey but some of us here are trying to learn our way around and it would be easier if people didn't ridicule others for questions.

    Sorry just a rant but it's been bothering me more and more as I browse this forum looking for serious answers.
  • RatherBeFishing
    RatherBeFishing Posts: 61 Member
    Welcome to the age of social media. Where people are jerks because you can't reach out and slap them. Plus people think that because it worked for them everyone should do it. I have about 12 years, of nutrition and exercise under my belt, and I always finding way to improve or change with new research and my own results and the results I have helped other achieve. The number one thing I have found out is nothing works the same for everyone, everyone is different. I have come across a lot of posts on this board with bad advice given by people. It sucks because there is no rating system, to say if you should trust someones advice or not.

    Just like all these people responding with Oh my this again. Use the search, they didn't have to respond to the thread, but they can't help it..
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
    Just as all people don't get along in real life, all people don't get along in cyberlife either. It happens. Everyone has different styles, personalities and attitudes and that's not a bad thing. It's up to you to decide if you want to listen to the advice.

    Skipping over something you don't like is no different than smiling politely and walking away from someone obnoxious. Why let it ruin your day?

    Using the search function is not evil...it cuts down on the number of posts and also the number of times people respond to the same subject (really, how many times do you want to repeat yourself to your kids?).
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
    We were all newbies once but after only 12 months on the forums there are certain posts I get to see EVERY day that start to get annoying, including but not limited to:
    Diet Pills
    Eating less than 1200
    Eating 1200
    MFP Pet Peeves

    Maybe if people did use the search function people who need help with a new topic wouldn't get buried under the barrage of the same topics over and over
  • lgreen37
    lgreen37 Posts: 196 Member
    It can be alot of Oprah's and Dr. Phils on this site! I tend to ask questions of those that are on this journey with me. MFP friends - are really cool. They all tend to have "open arms" of helping people. Now - may get a few post every now and again about something off subject of this site or wild in regard to a "pattern" but I am learning to "chew the cherry and spit the seed".
    This is a journey - a journey that I have traveled many a times. I believe this time - is the "charm time". With MFP friends with me, I'm going to make it
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
    I see no reason to always play nice, especially when certain people are being idiots and refusing the help that's right in front of them.
  • murphette2
    murphette2 Posts: 75 Member
    The ones I don't like are when someone posts a question or comment and 50 people all tell them how wrong they are basically all saying the same thing and then 20 more people all have to jump in with the same answer. I think they got it after the first 50
  • JohnMessmer
    JohnMessmer Posts: 536
    I tend to smile at stupidity, I smile a lot at some folks in here. To tell someone who is new to search for a topic is like telling your 2 year old to drive up to the store and buy a salad; neither have any idea how to do what you are asking. Most people can't even find the forums the first few days after they join MFP and even more have no concept of where the search option is. It may be second nature to those that have been here a while, but for new people it takes a little time to find and figure out everything the site has to offer. People tend to forget what it is like when you are new and just starting out, kind of like they forget how they struggled and the "silly" questions they asked along the way.

    I don't think it is being thinned skinned to ask that if you can not be helpful, then you should be silent. There is enough rudeness in our lives, we do not need more of it here. I try to address every single person the same way that I would speak to them if they were having the discussion with me in person. Then again, I use my real name as my user name; perhaps, if I used an alias I would act like a 12 year old also.
  • ashdred
    ashdred Posts: 95 Member
    I hate it when someone asks a question, and the first responder tells them to use the search function. Because the question has been answered many times before.

    Truly! The "experts" on the board are always talking about things changing...old and new studies...sometimes topic needs to be revisted.
  • Nalgh94
    Nalgh94 Posts: 181 Member
    For all the people who are saying, rudeness comes from people frustrated with the lack of "search engines" usages this is actually what inspired my post. I use search engines instead of posting a new thread for every question and finding it frustrating that the search engine comes with results where 90% of the the thread are people ridicouling the original question instead of actually answering it.

    Search engines are a great tool for people who have been here long enough to realize it exists, they're also a lot of more efficient if they weren't blogged up by useless replies. Simply post a link to an existing thread to help the person out.
  • gabriellejayde
    gabriellejayde Posts: 607 Member
    my pet peeve is a saying I see a lot on here.
    Someone will post that they haven't lost weight in X amount of time and they don't know what's wrong. Someone will inevitably say, "you didn't gain the weight in a day, and you won't lose it in a day".

    ?? I always think that the OP wasn't looking to lose it all in a DAY... they just want to lose SOMETHING.
  • YaGigi
    YaGigi Posts: 817 Member
    my favourite is people who say 'i do x, y and z and i cant lose weight' so people suggest trying a, b or c, and the OP shoots each idea down with an excuse why they couldnt possibly try that... so what did they bother asking for?!

    Hey, twin sista! We kind of look alike :D

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