what my skinny friends say
Replies
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I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate hearing "OH you're as skinny as me!!!" said in the kind of tone that makes me tilt my head to the right and smile sympathetically - I know that feeling of not feeling quite comfortable with your body...
Plus a girl said to me the other day "Oh you are almost as thin as me!" and I said "yeah, I'm down to a size four"... she got a heart broken look on her face and said quietly "smaller than me, then"... I don't want to make her feel bad, I wouldn't do that, but she has boasted about her being so thin since my 100lbs ago, so I didn't feel so bad.
And there ARE two tribes of fat and thin. We socialize once in a while but I SEE how people treat you differently first hand. Women especially - we can be *****es.0 -
these are people you consider your friends? :huh:0
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^^^^^ THISMokey41
Joined Oct 2012
Posts: 457
Mon 11/05/12 06:08 PM
I absolutely hate it when people assume that I'm thin because I'm just lucky! I work hard and don't eat a lot of things I see other people eating to maintain my weight. Just because you see me eating something at a dinner doesn't mean I haven't lived on veggies all day to be able to eat that. Most "naturally" thin people are really just way better at making food choices.
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well said.
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Clearly you need new friends and the world needs to read ms. manners again.0
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this guy who weight 110lbs, with about 90lbs of it being lean body mass, he eats less than my 40 pound dog. (and he thinks he eats alot)
+1!0 -
This is the lie that undermotivated people say to themselves as an excuse to support their self defeating mentality and fail before they even give themselves a chance. I should know, I said this for a long time.
waaaa, my metabolism isn't what it used to be
boohooo, if it were that easy we'd all be thin
*wipes crocodile tear* I'd be skinny too if I had all day
When I decided that I was in fact no different from everyone else excepting my motivation and submission to my excuses I took control of my health, size, and fitness goals. Here's your tough love, own it. It's not your metabolism's fault, it's not your genetics fault, it's your fault you can't bring yourself to get up and do it. Do it, stick to it, give yourself a chance . . . or keep whining.
The people who know me know how hard I work and how much I struggle. Any one who *kitten*-U-mes that it's easy . . . well I invite them to live a month in my life and tell me how easy I have it waking up at 430 in the morning to get in a lift and/or run, working my ft job, going to my pt job (which is now in fitness), eeking out a few hours here and there with my son, eeking out a few minutes with my husband, just to fall over and do it again.0 -
Its rude for you to assume it is easy for them to maintain their weight. It is equally rude of them to point out you've gained weight. Be a better friend and you'll have better friends.
You win.0 -
I absolutely hate it when people assume that I'm thin because I'm just lucky! I work hard and don't eat a lot of things I see other people eating to maintain my weight. Just because you see me eating something at a dinner doesn't mean I haven't lived on veggies all day to be able to eat that. Most "naturally" thin people are really just way better at making food choices.
She mentioned her "friends" so I think we can make the assumption that she knows what their food habits are. My sister was always thin now she is older she cannot eat what she use to and not gain weight. My husband use to say about a mutual friend people who can't lose weight are lazy, just put the fork down and step away from the table it is not that difficult. Well now as we age he has gained and is having a difficult time losing.....sometimes I want to say just put your fork down...and step away from the table...;)
Having said that sorry to say your friends sound like rude idiots.0 -
I have a very overweight friend who strongly suggested that I am the way I am is due to metobolism, and inferred the same thing was true for him. Although I am naturally thin I did want to ask him to show me his workout logs for the last 20 years, or list the number of times he chose a single burger instead of a triple. I'm not where I want to be, but I've worked hard over the years to try and stay fit.0
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And there ARE two tribes of fat and thin. We socialize once in a while but I SEE how people treat you differently first hand. Women especially - we can be *****es.
Hmm, I hear what you are saying and it would be inappropriate of me to try and invalidate your feelings. I am truly sorry you have had unpleasant experiences.
However, when I am reading some of the threads, especially the ranting threads, it makes me reflect on the power we all have to take some ownership in reducing the *****iness and unnecessary ugliness in our own lives, exercise appropriate compassion and also set clear boundaries of how we allow to be treated by those around us.
What I mean by it is firstly try to understand where the other person is coming from. As I said earlier, no healthy and happy person intentionally hurts another human being. If they do, it is only because they feel bad about themselves (regardless of how skinny or pretty they may look) and their 'strategy' is to put another person down. It is textbook insecurity-induced behaviour. If you think of it as this is their dysfunction talking, it is easier not to take it quite so personally.
Secondly, and very importantly, assert your boundaries. Tell you friend or colleague very politely, calmly but firmly that you felt their comment was hurtful. They either respect that (and you!) or you will find out that this is not a person you want to have around and distance yourself from him or her.
We all have so much more power over our lives and what we allow into our lives than we care to acknowledge :flowerforyou:0 -
She mentioned her "friends" so I think we can make the assumption that she knows what their food habits are.
The only person (who doesn't have access to my logs on here) that "knows my eating habits" is my husband. And even HE probably didn't realize how addicted to chocolate I am until he gained access to my logs on here. There isn't a single other person who sees me eat more than one meal a day. Ever. And I am waaaay better about eating a healthy lunch during the work week than I am during the weekend or dinner so my coworkers probably think I eat great all the time. And if you saw me eat out at a social event, you'd think I have a great metabolism because I eat whatever the heck I want and easily over a thousand in one sitting. Once a week, every few weeks.0 -
number 1, your friends are kind of rude. and number 2, it's stupid to assume that because someone is skinny, they are just naturally that way and don't have to work for it.
This. I doubt you are that much different to them. But its rude for them to bang on about it unless you are asking for advice.0 -
In that case what you said in your first post doesn't ring true, why would they say "do what we do" if they really don't do anything better than you diet or exercise wise.the only reason i said they are naturally skinny is that '' they are '' my friends '' neverrrr work out ''' they '' hate it '' , i live on the 2nd floor so when they come by my place they wait out side my building so that they wouldn't have to take the stairs, cuz the 2nd floor is too much for them '' p.s: it's what they say '' , walking in the street for them is just stupid cuz we can just take a taxi , so i am not trying to not give credit to all the peoplewho work hard to take care of their body or disrespect anyone but some people don't work out and they eat what ever they want and still they don't put on any weight
Really theres no such thing as being naturally thin or fat.0 -
YOU SHOULD CRUSH THEM0
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You keep using the word friends.... i do not think it means what you think it does.
Seriously those are more Frenemies and not friends. Find new friends.0 -
YOU SHOULD CRUSH THEM
NO! she should EAT them!0 -
YOU SHOULD CRUSH THEM
NO! she should EAT them!
SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND TO HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR WOMEN0 -
number 1, your friends are kind of rude. and number 2, it's stupid to assume that because someone is skinny, they are just naturally that way and don't have to work for it.
This. I have to work my *kitten* off to maintain.0 -
I have a sister who has been able to eat anything all her life, and she did not exercise either. I was just the opposite after my baby, I had a hard time losing, although I have been successfully thin several times in my life... My sister had to eat to gain weight, as sometimes she looked just like a skeleton. she would eat sweets and milkshakes, just to gain a few pounds so that she did not look so anorexic!
Now that she's in her 60s, she is still thin, but not toned like she used to be when younger. She probably weighs about 110--115 lbs soaking wet, and that's probably the most she's weighed in her life!
Actually someone who knows us both saw her in the store the other day and commented to me that as I lose weight, we are starting to look alike... Still, as far as weight and body build, she takes after Dad's side of the family and I take after Moms!0 -
number 1, your friends are kind of rude. and number 2, it's stupid to assume that because someone is skinny, they are just naturally that way and don't have to work for it.0
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i would applaud your friends for keeping it real with you and trying to help. stop feeling sorry for yourself and taking everything personally.0
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YOU SHOULD CRUSH THEM
NO! she should EAT them!
SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND TO HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR WOMEN
I hate when I don't pick up on a quote... :drinker:0 -
I hate this terminology- skinny and fat! It really messes with someones head to fit into those stereotypes.
Healthy, lean, fit, strong, and if working toward that, I want to be healthier, leaner, fitter, stronger. Those other words are degrading and have no purpose in my vocabulary.
I teach fitness classes, Zumba and all its formats 5-7 times a week, (sometimes more when I get crazy). I have another 65-70 lbs to lose. I have lost a lot of weight. But I am very fit for my body weight, I am not as lean as most of the other instructors there, but I will get there, and they are awesome in their support of my hard work. And they take my classes too. One thing I notice about these very lean, superfit instructors. The are aware of every bite of food they eat. Some obessively so, but isn't that key to what we are doing here? Learning to record and be aware of everything we put into our bodies? The other thing they do, they cross train all the time. If they teach one format primarily, they'll take a different class. They also are always weight training.
I am learning from them how to be leaner and stronger and healthier, and that is my goal as a fitness instructor to continue to teach this as well. And to lead by example
Be good to yourself, love you for who you are, accept you will never be like anyone else, and make you be the best you can be- that is the greatest reward in self accomplishment! 0 -
i would applaud your friends for keeping it real with you and trying to help. stop feeling sorry for yourself and taking everything personally.
Well that is about an unproductive as one could get! Seriously? That is not supportive. Arranging to go work out together, without making someone feel bad, that is support. No need to draw attention to the fact that she is overweight, she already knows.
These would be X friends very quickly for me- life is too short to indulge negative people, unless they are relatives, and then we choose what we tolerate0 -
I love when my friends are hard on me. It's strangers I could give a damn about.
You'd be surprised how many skinny people are offended by pointing at their smallness.
I think they're doing it out of love. Maybe they've realized that being 'nice' about it isn't helping you with results...
either that..that's why you're here..LET'S DO IT!0 -
true, there was a 'nicer' way to go about it. but seriously, im bitter toward people who dont tell it like it is.
'oooohhh you're not fat, you're tall so you carry it sooooo welllll!' <-- BS
women rely a lot on their friends. and im sure they didnt say it as negatively as shes taken it. women tend to internalize things and take them personally.0 -
I had a pizza pop for lunch today. I haven't had pizza pops in a very long time. (And good reason - omg 520 cals for TWO???)
Anyways, I'm in the lunch room heating up my pizza pops, and a coworker says to me... *sigh* i work so hard to keep my weight under control, and you're so thin and get to eat pizza pops?
Yeah... I also box, and run, and watch my calories... I never get a chance to watch TV and am on the go from 6am until sometimes 1am.
ASSUME -- *kitten* - U - ME.
The rudeness that you guys show each other is a bit shocking though!0 -
Anyone above the age of like 22 has to WORK at being thin. If they eat too much... and don't exercise guess what? They too... will gain weight.
Really? I'm pretty sure that once I hit 22, I didn't have to work at being thin... I was still thin, but just out of shape.
To OP:
FInd new friends.0 -
I had a pizza pop for lunch today. I haven't had pizza pops in a very long time. (And good reason - omg 520 cals for TWO???)
Anyways, I'm in the lunch room heating up my pizza pops, and a coworker says to me... *sigh* i work so hard to keep my weight under control, and you're so thin and get to eat pizza pops?
Yeah... I also box, and run, and watch my calories... I never get a chance to watch TV and am on the go from 6am until sometimes 1am.
ASSUME -- *kitten* - U - ME.
The rudeness that you guys show each other is a bit shocking though!
uuuummmmmm.....what is a pizza pop...please tell me it is pizza on a stick. and then please tell me when I can get them.0 -
I had a pizza pop for lunch today. I haven't had pizza pops in a very long time. (And good reason - omg 520 cals for TWO???)
Anyways, I'm in the lunch room heating up my pizza pops, and a coworker says to me... *sigh* i work so hard to keep my weight under control, and you're so thin and get to eat pizza pops?
Yeah... I also box, and run, and watch my calories... I never get a chance to watch TV and am on the go from 6am until sometimes 1am.
ASSUME -- *kitten* - U - ME.
The rudeness that you guys show each other is a bit shocking though!
uuuummmmmm.....what is a pizza pop...please tell me it is pizza on a stick. and then please tell me when I can get them.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizza_Pops
DAYUM... I'm hungry again...
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