Someone told my 5 yr old to stop eating or she'll get fat

hypotrochoid

Right, so I don't know who did this, and may whatever god they believe in have mercy on them if I find out, because I sure as hell won't... but someone told my beautiful 5 year old that she's fat and should stop eating. And she, being 5, believed whoever it was even to the point of turning down pizza and cake (treats she rarely gets) at a birthday party.

It took me three days to get this out of her, all the while worrying that she was ill and that's why she was refusing food. I've worked to mitigate the damage, but does anyone have any suggestions for what else I can do other than the obvious verbal reassurances?

scapez

I don't have kids so this is only what I think I would do if I were in your shoes. I would explain that people have to eat so their bodies are healthy and if we don't eat we might get sick or feel too tired to to play, etc.

I'm racking my brain to try to come up with more 5-year old appropriate stuff, and well, like I said, not having kids n' all...

Good luck :flowerforyou:

oregonzoo

Did she say who said this to her?

moreORless50

kids love to cook maybe let her share in the cooking with you a dish thats nice but healthy that you will eat along with her

my kids been grown up along time but my grankids love to cook and will rarely not eat what they have helped to prepare

avasano

Ahhh My mother-in-law strikes again.

danger_kitteh

We go through this with my son in the opposite way. He's 6 and a bean pole. On a good day he probably weighs 41 pounds. Tall and skinny this kid is and always shall be. We place a LOT of importance on eating whole healthy foods and exercise to help his body grow in the best possible way. We do not restrict treats or junky food, but we do tell him that it is ok to have those foods, just not all the time! He has asked before about my weight and how i eat and I tell him the truth. When I got older, I made a mistake and stopped paying attention to the lessons I learned when i was younger about eating healthy and stopped exercising - so now I have to work extra hard to be healthy again, not only for myself but for him. So we work together as a family to make sure we are all healthy, eat good foods, exercise and sometimes have our treats. Food is fuel for our bodies to be awesome.

DontStopB_Leakin

I would first try your hardest to find out who said this to her. Then, hold that person accountable. If it was one of her peers, speak with their parents.

Honestly, your best option is to just keep drilling home how absolutely incorrect that statement was. She may only be five, but explain to her what function food performs to keep her healthy and help her grow. She'll understand, and the more you drive that home, the healthier her relationship with food will be.


Oh, and if you find out who did it, and it was in fact an adult, beat their face into a bloody pulp. I cannot fathom someone saying that to a child. Ever.


Edit: Only after being quoted did I notice that I said "who said this to you", not "who said this to her".
/facepalm. You get the point.

hypotrochoid

I've no idea where she got this from, though the prime suspects are someone at school or something that she saw on TV. TV is closely monitored, though, so... I don't know. I'm just angry.

She does help me cook and is doing better at trying new things- but she flat out wouldn't eat anything offered.

tashjs21

I would first try your hardest to find out who said this to you. Then, hold that person accountable. If it was one of her peers, speak with their parents.

Honestly, your best option is to just keep drilling home how absolutely incorrect that statement was. She may only be five, but explain to her what function food performs to keep her healthy and help her grow. She'll understand, and the more you drive that home, the healthier her relationship with food will be.


Oh, and if you find out who did it, and it was in fact an adult, beat their face into a bloody pulp. I cannot fathom someone saying that to a child. Ever.

^ This! Lea is so wise.

dmpizza

Probably another kid.

Bakerchk

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. It's really unfortunate how ignorant and hurtful others can be.
Hopefully you can (with persistence) instill it in her that foods are good for you and in moderation other snack foods are okay too. Best of luck to your and your daughter.

SaundraM2009

Find out who it was, then hit them as hard as you can in the jaw so they can't talk for a while. It is not their place to shape your child's self image.

peuglow

I have a 10 month old, so I haven't run into this yet. But I can tell you it would devestate me and drive me insane. I can't believe the things people tell kids. What gives them the right??!

starjumper12

one of my parents said something similar to this to me when i was about the same age... i'll put it this way - i still remember it 25 years later.

_Elemenopee_

I would first try your hardest to find out who said this to you. Then, hold that person accountable. If it was one of her peers, speak with their parents.

Honestly, your best option is to just keep drilling home how absolutely incorrect that statement was. She may only be five, but explain to her what function food performs to keep her healthy and help her grow. She'll understand, and the more you drive that home, the healthier her relationship with food will be.


Oh, and if you find out who did it, and it was in fact an adult, beat their face into a bloody pulp. I cannot fathom someone saying that to a child. Ever.

Leaky for President!

cici1028

Ugh. I wonder where she heard it. But honestly, it could have been TV just as easily as a trusted adult or another child... does she watch daytime talk shows or reality tv? (Wink)

I think you are doing the right thing. Just demonstrate how to live a healthy lifestyle by doing it yourself. Teach her what foods are nutritious and help her body grow. Point out foods that are 'treats' because they don't help her to grow big and strong but they are ok every once in a while!

Cook together. Eat together. Exercise together (walks, hikes) and just show her that moving her body and eating well will only serve her over time.

skullshank

Oh, and if you find out who did it, and it was in fact an adult, beat their face into a bloody pulp. I cannot fathom someone saying that to a child. Ever.

this.
cross me by talking down to my kid and you will wind up hanging upside-down, skinless, in my basement...shuddering every time the floor creaks above you, hoping i don't return, as you pray to whatever god you believe in to end your suffering.

sma83

My 7 yr old weighs in at 44.5 pounds and Ive had to tell my own Mother not to tell her she will get fat if she keeps eating "insert name of any random food here". It really pisses me off. My child most obviously does not have an issue with weight. If anything she is slightly underweight for her age, but it never fails, after a comment from my Mother she will refuse to eat and say things like "I dont need that, I dont want to get fat"...I have been in many fights with my Mom over this. Hope you find who said that and smack the crap out of them (if its an adult).

6packb450

I have a 13 and a 10 yr. old... they both have been told they were fat. I was a 150 lb. 6' tall dude, skinny as a rail growing up in the 70s... I was told the same thing. Kids are cruel... it will happen. The best thing to do is educate your daughter on proper food choices while she is still young, and feed her well balanced meals. No reason why the MFP choices can't apply to the whole family.

downsizinghoss

To be honest, when I was growing up, this wasn't that rare. I was a big kid, but not really fat. I heard it all the time. Especially from my grandparents generation.
I had to go on my first diet and tried to jog for a week in second grade. I needed to make the 5 pound cut off for my football team.

I would explain to them that some people are just mean. They will say things that hurt you, but you are better than that.

I wish someone had told me that. I believed them.

DontStopB_Leakin

I've no idea where she got this from, though the prime suspects are someone at school or something that she saw on TV. TV is closely monitored, though, so... I don't know. I'm just angry.

She does help me cook and is doing better at trying new things- but she flat out wouldn't eat anything offered.

Again, try your damndest to get her to tell you who said it. If it was one of her classmates, just let her know that they were just misinformed.

You'll have an easier time getting it out of her head if it WAS one of her classmates.


Again though, if it was an adult....get the bat ready. Someone's going to get beat.

animetomboy59

self esteem is very important to being healhty and happy. if she feels a little down about what she eats because of that person, maybe play dress up with her and have her look in the mirror. tell her you see a beautiful healthy little girl and nobody can tell her different. at least its something i wish my mother wouldve done for me as a child when someone put me down. if she can look in the mirror and love herself as she is shell be just fine and perhaps learn not to worry what others think or say

hypotrochoid

We don't have TV other than netflix, so she can't go random channel flipping. I'm working to find out (and possibly maim) the offender.

My little girl is solid muscle and the doctor says she's right where she needs to be weight-wise, so I'm not concerned about that. I know she didn't get it from me- I'm very careful about what I say in front of her. We exercise together and place an emphasis on eating foods that'll help her grow up strong along with occasional treats. I guess keep doing what I'm doing?

Charlie003

Right, so I don't know who did this, and may whatever god they believe in have mercy on them if I find out, because I sure as hell won't... but someone told my beautiful 5 year old that she's fat and should stop eating. And she, being 5, believed whoever it was even to the point of turning down pizza and cake (treats she rarely gets) at a birthday party.

It took me three days to get this out of her, all the while worrying that she was ill and that's why she was refusing food. I've worked to mitigate the damage, but does anyone have any suggestions for what else I can do other than the obvious verbal reassurances?

Order pizza and eat it with her.

odusgolp

This just reaffirms my sadness.

Reminds me of the 6 year old that wanted to shave her legs b/c kids were already teasing her for her dark leg hair.

homerjspartan

I would first try your hardest to find out who said this to her. Then, hold that person accountable. If it was one of her peers, speak with their parents.

Honestly, your best option is to just keep drilling home how absolutely incorrect that statement was. She may only be five, but explain to her what function food performs to keep her healthy and help her grow. She'll understand, and the more you drive that home, the healthier her relationship with food will be.


Oh, and if you find out who did it, and it was in fact an adult, beat their face into a bloody pulp. I cannot fathom someone saying that to a child. Ever.


Edit: Only after being quoted did I notice that I said "who said this to you", not "who said this to her".
/facepalm. You get the point.

Yeah. Remember that scene at the end of Sin City when Bruce Willis is punching that guy until his head is no more and there is nothing left but brain and blood and a few pieces of skull. Something like that.

If it was another kid you can't do that though, you have to be more creative, like accidentally tripping and knocking them over.... "Ohhhh sorry, you OK sweetie?????? Oh, that bruise will go away soon..... (you little f--ker)......."

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Honestly, I can't even fabricate an answer to this. Just thinking about it makes me so mad I could strig up someone.

serena569

My daughter was 22" and 6 lbs 3 oz when she was born. She is now almost 20. She's 5' .75". (That .75" is VERY important to her.) She weight 106 pounds soaking wet. I gave birth to a stick. She's still a stick. But...every time she does to the doctor, they try to diagnose her with an eating disorder. The last time they wanted to "run some tests" to see why she she weight so little. I can tell you why. She's five feet tall!

I get so tired of people making snap judgements about physical appearances. That leads to insecurities, body image issues, and eating disorders. (I'm not perfect thought. I once said I wanted to feed one of my teachers a sandwich.

I would love to find where your beautiful child heard this info that is negatively impacting her so I could slap the person who said it. Unfortunately, my guess is the playground.

rubyautumn4

Hoooooo boy if this is an adult - or anyone close to being an adult - I would absolutely murder them! In fact once you find out who it was let us know, we will come help you tar and feather this person.

You seem like a great parent though so keep doing what you're doing and I hope that she will somehow forget this comment and see herself as the healthy, beautiful little girl she is.

DontStopB_Leakin

I would first try your hardest to find out who said this to her. Then, hold that person accountable. If it was one of her peers, speak with their parents.

Honestly, your best option is to just keep drilling home how absolutely incorrect that statement was. She may only be five, but explain to her what function food performs to keep her healthy and help her grow. She'll understand, and the more you drive that home, the healthier her relationship with food will be.


Oh, and if you find out who did it, and it was in fact an adult, beat their face into a bloody pulp. I cannot fathom someone saying that to a child. Ever.


Edit: Only after being quoted did I notice that I said "who said this to you", not "who said this to her".
/facepalm. You get the point.

Yeah. Remember that scene at the end of Sin City when Bruce Willis is punching guy until his head is no more and there is nothing left but brain and blood and a few pieces of skull. Something like that.

If it was another kid you can't do that though, you have to be more creative, like accidentally tripping and knocking them over.... "Ohhhh sorry, you OK sweetie?????? Oh, that bruise will go away soon..... (you little f--ker)......."

That was actually the specific scene I had in mind when I said that.


Anyone says that to my child, it's game over man....game over.

Leigh_b

Maybe take her to the doctor again and have the doctor tell her she is exactly where she needs to be. Also, the doctor might be able to support your efforts in terms of getting her to understand that you need to eat to be healthy.