Someone told my 5 yr old to stop eating or she'll get fat

animetomboy59

self esteem is very important to being healhty and happy. if she feels a little down about what she eats because of that person, maybe play dress up with her and have her look in the mirror. tell her you see a beautiful healthy little girl and nobody can tell her different. at least its something i wish my mother wouldve done for me as a child when someone put me down. if she can look in the mirror and love herself as she is shell be just fine and perhaps learn not to worry what others think or say

hypotrochoid

We don't have TV other than netflix, so she can't go random channel flipping. I'm working to find out (and possibly maim) the offender.

My little girl is solid muscle and the doctor says she's right where she needs to be weight-wise, so I'm not concerned about that. I know she didn't get it from me- I'm very careful about what I say in front of her. We exercise together and place an emphasis on eating foods that'll help her grow up strong along with occasional treats. I guess keep doing what I'm doing?

Charlie003

Right, so I don't know who did this, and may whatever god they believe in have mercy on them if I find out, because I sure as hell won't... but someone told my beautiful 5 year old that she's fat and should stop eating. And she, being 5, believed whoever it was even to the point of turning down pizza and cake (treats she rarely gets) at a birthday party.

It took me three days to get this out of her, all the while worrying that she was ill and that's why she was refusing food. I've worked to mitigate the damage, but does anyone have any suggestions for what else I can do other than the obvious verbal reassurances?

Order pizza and eat it with her.

odusgolp

This just reaffirms my sadness.

Reminds me of the 6 year old that wanted to shave her legs b/c kids were already teasing her for her dark leg hair.

homerjspartan

I would first try your hardest to find out who said this to her. Then, hold that person accountable. If it was one of her peers, speak with their parents.

Honestly, your best option is to just keep drilling home how absolutely incorrect that statement was. She may only be five, but explain to her what function food performs to keep her healthy and help her grow. She'll understand, and the more you drive that home, the healthier her relationship with food will be.


Oh, and if you find out who did it, and it was in fact an adult, beat their face into a bloody pulp. I cannot fathom someone saying that to a child. Ever.


Edit: Only after being quoted did I notice that I said "who said this to you", not "who said this to her".
/facepalm. You get the point.

Yeah. Remember that scene at the end of Sin City when Bruce Willis is punching that guy until his head is no more and there is nothing left but brain and blood and a few pieces of skull. Something like that.

If it was another kid you can't do that though, you have to be more creative, like accidentally tripping and knocking them over.... "Ohhhh sorry, you OK sweetie?????? Oh, that bruise will go away soon..... (you little f--ker)......."

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Honestly, I can't even fabricate an answer to this. Just thinking about it makes me so mad I could strig up someone.

serena569

My daughter was 22" and 6 lbs 3 oz when she was born. She is now almost 20. She's 5' .75". (That .75" is VERY important to her.) She weight 106 pounds soaking wet. I gave birth to a stick. She's still a stick. But...every time she does to the doctor, they try to diagnose her with an eating disorder. The last time they wanted to "run some tests" to see why she she weight so little. I can tell you why. She's five feet tall!

I get so tired of people making snap judgements about physical appearances. That leads to insecurities, body image issues, and eating disorders. (I'm not perfect thought. I once said I wanted to feed one of my teachers a sandwich.

I would love to find where your beautiful child heard this info that is negatively impacting her so I could slap the person who said it. Unfortunately, my guess is the playground.

rubyautumn4

Hoooooo boy if this is an adult - or anyone close to being an adult - I would absolutely murder them! In fact once you find out who it was let us know, we will come help you tar and feather this person.

You seem like a great parent though so keep doing what you're doing and I hope that she will somehow forget this comment and see herself as the healthy, beautiful little girl she is.

DontStopB_Leakin

I would first try your hardest to find out who said this to her. Then, hold that person accountable. If it was one of her peers, speak with their parents.

Honestly, your best option is to just keep drilling home how absolutely incorrect that statement was. She may only be five, but explain to her what function food performs to keep her healthy and help her grow. She'll understand, and the more you drive that home, the healthier her relationship with food will be.


Oh, and if you find out who did it, and it was in fact an adult, beat their face into a bloody pulp. I cannot fathom someone saying that to a child. Ever.


Edit: Only after being quoted did I notice that I said "who said this to you", not "who said this to her".
/facepalm. You get the point.

Yeah. Remember that scene at the end of Sin City when Bruce Willis is punching guy until his head is no more and there is nothing left but brain and blood and a few pieces of skull. Something like that.

If it was another kid you can't do that though, you have to be more creative, like accidentally tripping and knocking them over.... "Ohhhh sorry, you OK sweetie?????? Oh, that bruise will go away soon..... (you little f--ker)......."

That was actually the specific scene I had in mind when I said that.


Anyone says that to my child, it's game over man....game over.

Leigh_b

Maybe take her to the doctor again and have the doctor tell her she is exactly where she needs to be. Also, the doctor might be able to support your efforts in terms of getting her to understand that you need to eat to be healthy.

guardian419

This is one of the reasons I'm glad I don't have a daughter. Assault charges would be "getting off easy" for what I think I would do.

As for taking care of your daughter... Like I said, i don't have a daughter myself, but IMO the best thing you can do is teach her. Tell her the person who told her that doesn't know what they're talking about, and here's the right way to think about it.... and explain nutrition (in 5 year old terms, of course). The best defense to anything is intelligence (and bigger guns)

tomomatic

I hope you find who this person is and hit him/her with a bus.

DontStopB_Leakin

We don't have TV other than netflix, so she can't go random channel flipping. I'm working to find out (and possibly maim) the offender.

My little girl is solid muscle and the doctor says she's right where she needs to be weight-wise, so I'm not concerned about that. I know she didn't get it from me- I'm very careful about what I say in front of her. We exercise together and place an emphasis on eating foods that'll help her grow up strong along with occasional treats. I guess keep doing what I'm doing?

It sounds to me like you're already doing everything right in this department. Just keep drilling it home.

My little boy LOVES to workout with me. He's only 3, but he already makes extremely wise food choices on his own due to my emphasis on proper nutrition. He totally pigs out on pizza, cake, and other treats from tme to time, and that's fine. So do I. But on the whole, he has a very healthy relationship with food and fitness, even at such a young age.


I do feel for you, though. Little girls put so much stock into what others say about their appearance. There's a very good chance that this might stick with her, unfortunately. Just keep doing what you're doing, and hopefully she'll forget this nonsense soon enough.

know_your_worth

Ahhh My mother-in-law strikes again.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Cracked me up!



In all seriousness, people are stupid, to say that to anyone, especially a five year old :noway:
The only advice that I have is to reassure her that she's beautiful (which I'm sure you already do) say positive things about her, all that good stuff and that could help do some damage control as far as her esteem goes.

Breaks my heart that some ugly person had to spread their negativity onto your child.

bet3120

Ugh. I wonder where she heard it. But honestly, it could have been TV just as easily as a trusted adult or another child... does she watch daytime talk shows or reality tv? (Wink)

I think you are doing the right thing. Just demonstrate how to live a healthy lifestyle by doing it yourself. Teach her what foods are nutritious and help her body grow. Point out foods that are 'treats' because they don't help her to grow big and strong but they are ok every once in a while!

Cook together. Eat together. Exercise together (walks, hikes) and just show her that moving her body and eating well will only serve her over time.

just this past friday my daughter show me something in youtube is call " La Rosa de Guadalupe " or " Guadalupe's Rose" there are a little chapters with theme-based in real situations, oh my! one chapter was about a 8 years girl with anorexic, my point she started to stop eaten because one boy of her school said she was FAT. We have to be very carefull with everything that our childrens watch, read or heard.
I'm so glad my daughter show me that and the answer she told me when i said to her to be careful, " Mom, i know this is a disease and i'm konw who i'm, because you taught me".

I hope everything goes well with your child, God bless you.

Meatsies

one of my parents said something similar to this to me when i was about the same age... i'll put it this way - i still remember it 25 years later.

I agree. I remember being 5 and my school friend telling me that I was fat. I wish my parents had taken the time/energy to try to set my mind straight. That will probably stay with me forever.

Koldnomore

Just a thought and please don't take this wrong...

My 5 yr old has no clue that being 'fat' is supposed to be "bad". We explain to him that if he eats too many sweets he may get sick like his great grandma and if he eats too fast his tummy will hurt and that if you eat too much you get bigger and are less able to do things you may like to do, but never have we said FAT = BAD - actually the word 'fat' is not allowed in our house to be used in a negative way, same with 'stupid' and a few other words. The association between eating -> fat -> bad, was there before, otherwise the comment would have been just that..some comment that maybe would have been repeated to you once but definitely wouldn't have caused her to completely stop eating.

I think that addressing this association may help. Maybe try to find out WHY she feels that way about 'fat'? I am NOT saying that you should encourage fatness but at 5 years old a child should not be worried about being 'fat'. Definitely explain that eating TOO MUCH can lead to some unpleasant things but that eating a good balanced amount is absolutely fine. Ask her if she believes that mummy loves her (she will) and when she says yes then you can say 'well, mummy knows what will make you grow up strong and healthy' Tell her that mummy (and/or Daddy/Mummy/Auntie..whatever) would never feed her too much to make her unhealthy but that not eating enough WILL make her feel bad.

Best of luck to you.

BlueInkDot

:sick:

That. is. horrible.

I'm so sorry that someone told that to your daughter. :frown:

I'm not a parent and I'm not sure exactly how I'd deal with that... but I think the best thing you can do is just tell her the truth. This is how nutrition works, your body needs fuel, eating too-large portions over time has such and such results, it's good to take good care of your body to keep it healthy and food is a part of that...

I don't know. I just wanted to sympathize. That's so sad and I really hope she can get past that comment someone made...

heatherloveslifting

Well, I make a big point of telling my daughter that she is smart and strong and brave in addition to beautiful. We discuss a LOT how no matter how pretty you are, if you are mean it makes you seem ugly.

I also try to encourage her to eat healthy foods so she won't lose her strength.

But, she is very lean and muscular- at 8 she is a team gymnast who works out harder than I do 10 hrs a week. Besides all the swimming and other playing. However, she is second tallest on a team of 12 and some of the mothers of the unusually short and tiny girls have referred to her as "huge". Honestly, it pisses me off. I am really nervous about what her attitude towards food might be in the future, so I make a huge effort not to voice my own insecurities around her. I think my job is to give her as much confidence as humanly possible to hopefully counteract the rest of the world. Five is still young enough to listen to mommy over everyone else!

RobynBrockerville

Hi,
An avenue you may not have thought of
While making sure she knows her body needs food/ making sure healthy living lessons are learned... I encountered a situation that might help

A friend of mine has twin daughters, her and her female partner raise her twins. In kindergarten.... KINDERGARTEN mind you, her children were being mocked/made fun of because they have two moms. Normally some teachers respond by saying "that's not nice, dont say that etc." But What the twins teacher chose to do had such an impact that I think it could be beneficial in your situation. The teacher went into both of the twins classes and talked to the kids (in an educational, not reprimanding manner) and taught the kids that, some families have two moms, one mom, one dad, two grandparents, etc. That all kinds of families exist and that they are all based on love, and they are all important. The twins classmates now say "that's not weird, some families have two mom's" to other kids who dont know the twins. I actually was taken aback by how much it impacted a group of kids so young.

So, if it was someone at school, I think its something that you could do is contact the teacher of her class and let her know what happened. You could see if she would be willing to address even a ten minute talk about people coming in all different shapes and sizes. Im not sure how much information would be appropriate to translate to a class of 5 year olds. But never underestimate the influence parents and teachers have on what children accept as right and wrong.