Uncomfortable with the topic of my weight loss
adk88
Posts: 143 Member
So, this is going to sound weird and I am just wondering if anyone else has this problem. I am very uncomfortable discussing my weight loss, even with those close to me. I am all for discussing the topic of weight loss and getting healthier in general. The problem for me begins as soon as someone mentions my personal weight loss. I don't even like discussing it with my family. My close family has realized this, and they will comment occasionally that I look good or that my jeans are nice, or something like this, but they will never push any further. I just thank them and that's the end of it. My extended family, most of my friends, and anyone I run into who I haven't seen in a while are a completely different story. It seems to be all they want to talk about when they see me. It makes me uncomfortable to talk about it, and I have no idea why. I am lucky that my boyfriend as amazing as he is and will very quickly change the subject when he notices this start happening, as I can never seem to find a polite way to tell them that I would rather not talk about it. Has anyone else had this problem?
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Replies
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I'm definitely the opposite! you should be proud of your weight loss and all the hard work you have put in. I love hearing from people how great I look. haha Not sure why you would have this problem but if you really feel uncomfortable then just let them know. Tell them thanks but you don't like talking about it.. that's the only advice I can give you. but honestly, you should be proud of yourself that you have come so far. Just try to keep in mind that most of these people are probably just looking to congratulate you and find out how you did it because they want it for themselves.0
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I know what you mean, especially when they ask specifically how much weight I have lost.
Because I'm thinking, they are thinking, "wow she was really fat", or that "she was that fat??"
Ivy0 -
Yeah... and it's weird, because I'm so proud of myself. But, it's like when someone else notices and points it out, I feel very weird/uncomfortable about it. It's awesome that they notice, but it's just weird. I can talk about health/fitness/weight loss/etc. all day, I can discuss what I'm doing to eat healthy and get in shape, but the second the comments are pretty much only focused on me I get this funny feeling and just want to get out of there or change the subject.
Maybe because it's really personal? Maybe because I'm not used to this kind of attention, and I don't feel it should be that important (at least not important enough to rave over)? I have no idea why that is... but I can totally relate.0 -
Not at all. Not even in the slightest.
But I am an attention *kitten*.0 -
Yes, except I know exactly why I was uncomfortable talking about it--I lost about 50# in 6 months on what might be called the "stress diet." Everyone kept telling me how great I looked, but I felt terrible and had just been not eating at all--not a good thing by any means. I started telling people I had been ill, then the would shut up.0
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I'm trying to keep my weight loss a secret too-- not sure how this is going to work 15-20 lbs from now but so far it's going well.. Personally I don't want people watching me lose weight wondering how far I'll go or if I'll fail and gain back double. I just want it to be over and then live my life.. I get it!0
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I get embarassed because I am a wall-flower at heart and I am not use to all the extra attention. There are certain people that I like to talk about what I'm doing... but other than that, I'm trying really hard to keep my struggles close to me. My husband has been smaller than me all of our marriage, so I don't think he completely gets what I'm going through. So, I talk to my 2 really supportive friends the most.
I am thrilled with my weight loss, and am excited about my increase in fitness level... as my actual goal isn't to be a certain size, but to be comfortable with my body enough, and to be strong enough to go backpacking with my husband in the woods.0 -
Not sure why you feel uncomfortable but I am really curious to find out. This has never happened to me...or....it happens sometimes when this is really all they can talk about and I feel like I cannot talk to them about anything else. But it is not that I hate talking about my weightloss, its just not everything I wanna talk about.
Can you specify what aspect of it do you hate? That they think you were so fat before? Or you are afraid after your weightloss people wont behave the same with you? Bcs I am thinking maybe this is something like...something behind the weightloss results that you might not want? Sorry if I cant express myself clearly, english isnt my mother tongue.0 -
What about if you just thank them and focus on your health or how you feel? Then change the subject.
Something like, "Thanks. I'm getting healthier.", "Thanks. I'm feeling better.", or "Thanks. I'm enjoying (fill in your favourite activity or exercise here)." Then add a comment about something unrelated, "Did you see the new James Bond movie?" or anything else to introduce a new topic and left them know you are finished having a discussion about your body now!
If you tell them you don't want to talk about it, they may assume that you have health or food issues that are causing you to lose weight.
It is your body so shut the conversation down if you don't want to have it.
Good luck!0 -
I have lost weight down to 200 lbs 3 times in the past. It is at that point that I start to get a lot of attention about it from fringe family members. It freaks me out so much that these people who never have 1 nice thing to say to me are all of a sudden like "lets go out this weekend cuz you look great". Was I not OK to hang with before? It has upset me time and again. I will fight it with all my might this time. I know to expect them to be A holes.0
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Honestly, it sounds like you are suffering from low self-esteem. Do you feel that way when people draw any attention to you, or just your weight? It sounds like weight is a hard subject for you. You may have, like me, been bullied because of it, or heard a lot about weight in childhood (if you were overweight as a child). If you were not overweight as a child, you may feel very anxious about it now because this is a new battle for you.
I recommend that you start trying to change your attitude to reflect your situation. That sounds mean, but I'm trying to say it in a nice way
Maybe start with someone you trust, like your mom or boyfriend, and have a five-minute conversation about your weight loss. Things you notice that are different, things you like, etc. You can even start with a mirror. Work on conditioning yourself to be accepting of the compliments. Most people, when losing weight, love feedback. Most people know that. These people are trying to tell you that you're doing great and keep it up! Please accept that with pride, because you are. They mean no harm, and I know you know that. It's easier to change your perception of yourself and your journey than it is to change their well-meaning intentions. 0 -
Yeah... and it's weird, because I'm so proud of myself. But, it's like when someone else notices and points it out, I feel very weird/uncomfortable about it. It's awesome that they notice, but it's just weird. I can talk about health/fitness/weight loss/etc. all day, I can discuss what I'm doing to eat healthy and get in shape, but the second the comments are pretty much only focused on me I get this funny feeling and just want to get out of there or change the subject.
Maybe because it's really personal? Maybe because I'm not used to this kind of attention, and I don't feel it should be that important (at least not important enough to rave over)? I have no idea why that is... but I can totally relate.
Totally off topic but I LOLed so hard at your weightloss tracker pic...genius!!!
:D:D 0 -
I am definately the opposite, I love to tell people my story when they ask.
Maybe becuase I never thought I would come this far and keep at it so long, that I just want everyone to know that they can do it too!!!
You should be proud of it, you have done fantastic. But I also understand your apprehensions.
ETA: could be you just aren't a fan of any attention. I used to be that way when I was overweight, unless around my friends.0 -
I am not really ,but if someone asks how much I have lost, it does make me uncomfortable. Because obviously everyone could see that I was HUGE before, but I think most people had no idea how much the number on the scale actually was. So if they ask how much I have lost, and I say over 100 pounds, I know they must be thinking in their heads how much I must have weighed in the first place! Especially since I clearly still have a ways to go!0
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Going through this, too. I've always been good at accepting compliments- but they were always about accessories (clothes, shoes, hair, make-up, jewelry)- not about ME. It's hard for me to accept that people want to talk about my body and how I've gotten it to look this way.... It's hard to admit how much time/energy I've spent in the past year working on myself. It feels too personal to discuss.0
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Same here. In fact I'm super excited to reach my goal weight, partly so the comments like "omg how did you do it!" can start flooding in & I can just feel like a guru.Not at all. Not even in the slightest.
But I am an attention *kitten*.
Why would you feel uncomfortable?0 -
I know what you mean, especially when they ask specifically how much weight I have lost.
Because I'm thinking, they are thinking, "wow she was really fat", or that "she was that fat??"
Ivy
^This. I don't mind discussing how I've done it, but I absolutely avoid stating how much and just say "Not enough"0 -
I feel slightly ashamed of wanting to lose weight, as if it is somehow a manifestation of vanity to want to, especially at my age. furthermore, I have failed to sustain weight loss so many times in my life that I feel a bit of charlatan and hope that people won't really notice so the topic won't come up.
Does that answer your question?0 -
say this... "Thank you" and move along. Humility is awesome.0
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My fear is a little different, it's more if people notice and then I gain weight back, it gets awkward.0
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I am just the opposite when it comes to sharing with a few exceptions. Has anyone been mean in the past about your weight. This has happened to a few people I know and now they don't want anyone to know they are losing weight. If thats the case I agree with a PP about finding someone you trust to start sharing with. You should be proud of what you have accomplished0
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You feel the way you feel, there is no other way around the people you run in to accept to change the subject and if they still presist, just say I rather not talk about it.
I don't know if they are asking how much weight you loss, but that is not the appropriate thing to ask someone.0 -
I dont like when people ask me how many pounds I've lost. To me its like wearing a poster stating how bad I let myself get.0
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I am just the opposite when it comes to sharing with a few exceptions. Has anyone been mean in the past about your weight. This has happened to a few people I know and now they don't want anyone to know they are losing weight. If thats the case I agree with a PP about finding someone you trust to start sharing with. You should be proud of what you have accomplished
I've never had anyone treat me badly or be negative towards me because of my weight. It's not even something I've ever struggled with. I never yo-yo dieted, nothing like that. I was content with myself and I loved myself even before my weight loss. I never felt out of place, or uncomfortable even though I was bigger. I made a decision one day to be healthier, and then I did it. I am very open with my boyfriend about it, but he really seems to be the only person that I am comfortable discussing it with. I know it's a huge accomplishment, and don't get me wrong, I am very proud of myself.
Someone mentioned that it draws attention to what I used to weigh when focusing on the amount that I lost. That seems like a reasonable explanation to me. I guess with never really feeling bad about myself before, I didn't really notice how unhealthy I was. And now, after losing almost 70 lbs, I can finally see it for what it really was. Hard to say if that;'s it for sure, but it's certainly a possibility!0 -
If I don't want to talk about something, I'll say something like "enough about that, how about those Seahawks this season?"0
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I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable with discussing my weight loss with people. (excluding husband and select friends on MFP)
I really would prefer people in my offline life say nothing at all.0 -
It's probably because you're uncomfortable with the way you looked before and you want to put it all behind you and pretend it never happened--that's how I was. But I've accepted it now that everyone has kind of realized I'm a new, thinner person and they don't really comment on the fact that I've lost SO much weight, they just say I look good and I appreciate it now and say thank you. Good luck. xoxo0
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I don't like when people mention it unless they know I'm working on it. I think it's nice to just tell someone how great they look and leave it at that. When someone dyes their gray hair, people don't ask how many bottles of dye it took or congratulate them on doing it. They just say, "I love your hair color!" To me, commenting on a person's body in specific ways is akin to asking someone if they were trying or not when there is a pregnancy. If you are close enough to know, you'll find out because I choose to tell you, if not, it's just awkward.0
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It is like me! I grew up told I was ugly. In the last twelve years I have lived in so many different countries, and everybody talk how beautful I was!!! it made me so unconfortable. I never believed them, I always thought I was ugly and I had accepted it.
The last 6 years I have done a lot of work on myself. Now, I have started accepting myself and loving myself! I accept any compliment. Unfortunatly,as I am a stay home mother and I do not meet a lot of people, I am missing those positive remarks!!! Even for the 3 kgs I have lost...nobody seems to notice me
You need to love and value yourself and you have the right to be beautiful and skinny. It is not reserved only for the others.0 -
totally feel the same way! I don't care if people say "you look really great!" but when they start saying "you have lost a lot of weight, etc" I get very embarressed and uncomfortable. I was talking to a guy in one of my classes the other day and this girl who I haven't seen all year ran up to me and said "you look great- whatd you lose like 100 pounds?!" i def haven't lost that much or had that much to lose, but still its just embarressing and awkward.0
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