Binge eating - anorexia's best friend, it seems

Numptcakes

Since you're already obsessed about food, perhaps you could become a nutritionist - turn that obsession into something beneficial while educating yourself about physiology and nutrition.

I'm working in the opposite direction (from obese to slimmer), but perhaps what I've done will help you. I stopped eating between meals as completely as I can (with a few slip-ups in the past couple of months). If it's not time for a meal when I want to eat, I tell myself "You can wait." I scheduled 4 meals per day and am very careful to make myself an appealing and nutritious plate of food. Then I eat as slowly as I can and enjoy it.

As my stomach is growing and I'm allowing my body more calories, my appetitie is becoming more and more insatiable. Waiting 3-4 hours between meals is a nightmare.

Numptcakes

I don't have any real words of wisdom for you...I just hope you get the help and suppoet to overcome your past and move forward. Good luck and I wish you all the best.


:flowerforyou:

Thank you, cookie. This means just as much as anything else!

KittieLea

I wish you the best!

Numptcakes

So your concern is that you are overeating? Or is it poor choices in food? Why can you not just stop buying the bad foods? This is coming from someone who admittedly is on the opposite end of the spectrum, and has no medical training. But...if I avoid bad food to lose weight the right way, why can't you avoid bad food to gain the right way? Does it matter if we avoid the temptation in the store or in our homes? Honestly, it is much easier for me to say "I don't need that" while shopping than it is to say "I don't want that" when I have something really tasty...but really bad for me looking me in the face at my house. So for me, that would be the absolute first thing I would think to focus on. Again, I couldn't possibly understand what you are dealing with...but if the problem is your inability to stop eating it, then I think the obvious decision should be to stop buying it. At least in any quantity that you could really get bad with. Nothing wrong with having a little treat now and then, even when you are my size, but if you keep the house stocked with it, knowing you have trouble stopping, you are asking for disaster.

Best of luck to you, I really really really hope you beat this. I am sure you can. :-) Hang in there!!! Keep working on it, and everything will be ok.

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I wish I could remove all binge triggers completely (confectionary is currently my biggest weakness) but in a house with 6 other "normal" eaters it's just not an option to stop buying these things. I even moved my snacks to another cupboard in the kitchen but tonight I wound up back up in that poxy cupboard again. It's just not fair to ask others to sacrifice stuff because I'm weak and pathetic.

And babydoll, you are not WEAK or PATHETIC. It takes time.. and even then, it's a choice every day. You are worth it... you are beautiful and powerful and can do anything and everything you choose to. You WILL get there.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU. I wish there were more people in the world like you.

Numptcakes

So your concern is that you are overeating? Or is it poor choices in food? Why can you not just stop buying the bad foods? This is coming from someone who admittedly is on the opposite end of the spectrum, and has no medical training. But...if I avoid bad food to lose weight the right way, why can't you avoid bad food to gain the right way? Does it matter if we avoid the temptation in the store or in our homes? Honestly, it is much easier for me to say "I don't need that" while shopping than it is to say "I don't want that" when I have something really tasty...but really bad for me looking me in the face at my house. So for me, that would be the absolute first thing I would think to focus on. Again, I couldn't possibly understand what you are dealing with...but if the problem is your inability to stop eating it, then I think the obvious decision should be to stop buying it. At least in any quantity that you could really get bad with. Nothing wrong with having a little treat now and then, even when you are my size, but if you keep the house stocked with it, knowing you have trouble stopping, you are asking for disaster.

Best of luck to you, I really really really hope you beat this. I am sure you can. :-) Hang in there!!! Keep working on it, and everything will be ok.

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I wish I could remove all binge triggers completely (confectionary is currently my biggest weakness) but in a house with 6 other "normal" eaters it's just not an option to stop buying these things. I even moved my snacks to another cupboard in the kitchen but tonight I wound up back up in that poxy cupboard again. It's just not fair to ask others to sacrifice stuff because I'm weak and pathetic.

Please don't feel that way. You have a very serious disorder and your family/friends should be there to support you. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Maybe even if they could put the bad stuff somewhere else so you don't have access to it, at least till you are farther along in your recovery, that could help. For me it is out of sight out of mind. If I don't have the stuff around, I really don't think about it, but it is definitely harder when it is there staring you in the face.

Im sorry I can't offer much advice, this isn't something I know much about, but I hope you can stay strong and fight through this so you can have a healthy and happy life that you deserve. Stay strong hun

You have helped more than you realise and don't you think otherwise! Thank you for sparing me some of your time, and some of that big ol' heart!

Numptcakes

You are in my prayers. I never got to your level, but when I was in high school, I would only eat oatmeal. I would work out for like 2 hours day. I started fainting randomly in bad places and at the worst times. That was my bottom. I began to desire fitness over thinness. I started training for fitness competitions in college. Unfortunatley, my obsession wtih food would never ALLOW me to eat the required calores and I would overtrain. I went down to 108 lbs and I am 5'8" 1/2. That is too thin for someone to claim to be fit. With time and support I was able to recover.

Now I am overweight, go figure, because I started stress eating, bingeing, and an illness wouldn't let me "stress" exercise. But now I have recovered and I am getting better wtih balancing both the eating and the exercising. Try to train your brain to appreciate the food and how it is benefitting you, and not what you THINK it is doing to you. Food is necessary for health. Both thin and overweight people need to see at as that and that alone. Its not your enemy or your friend. Its a constant struggle for me from both ends. Stay strong!

Sometimes it's enough to hear of people whoe DID climb out of this dark hole before it was too late. I am so glad for you. Keep strong and thank you for your advice!

Numptcakes

You are strong, sweetie, for facing this thing head-on and please know I am always there for you.

Frickin' love you.

Numptcakes

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I wish I could remove all binge triggers completely (confectionary is currently my biggest weakness) but in a house with 6 other "normal" eaters it's just not an option to stop buying these things. I even moved my snacks to another cupboard in the kitchen but tonight I wound up back up in that poxy cupboard again. It's just not fair to ask others to sacrifice stuff because I'm weak and pathetic.

This just tears at my heart. First you are not weak and pathetic. You are just a human with all the frailties and insecurities we all have. You are on the path to recovery, so give yourself huge pats on the back for this! Every time you make any good decision, make sure to acknowledge it to yourself. So being here and asking for input and being open to us is a huge, brave step.

I agree that you will learn self-control around the foods when you start eating regular, healthy meals. Your body is desperately trying to get some nutrition. If you aren't feeding it good foods, it will binge on the sugary things until it gets good foods. So, like everyone else has said, make sure you have nuts and fruit and carrots and cheeses in the house. Then just eat them. You won't gain 20 pounds overnight by eating good food. The sugary things are what are causing you to binge. If you start eating better foods, you won't be binging as much.

I am my own worst enemy - there is no hatred like the hatred I have for myself, and I believe that's half the reason I've ended up in this state. I feel like I don't deserve praise for accepting an illness that I landed myself in.

Your advice in the second paragraph is spot on. It's just easier said than done. Where I'm so hungry right now, the list of binge triggers seems to be growing. Still, going food shopping tomorrow and I'm going to stock up on things that will keep me from falling into this trap again. Thank you for the wise words.

Numptcakes

My best friend had to deal this with this same thing you're describing.. It was tough for all of us (obviously specially her) but I just wanted to tell you YOU CAN beat it. Don't be afraid of not being able to eat "normal" one day, because once you overcome this, YOU WILL. Hell you'll even forget about calories or food intake and just enjoy food

Just stay strong and try to see the bigger picture, everytime the demons kick in just for a second try to think rationally and realize adding calories to your body is a process to getting healthier, not the other way around.

Much love and stay strong You can def overcome this!

Love this, and really hope what you say is true! Thanks for taking the time to respond

Numptcakes

I wish you the best!

Thank you, it means the world

elizabethis

I'm so glad and proud of you for recognizing that you need help and wanting to recover. I know a young woman who went into out-patient treatment (very nearly hospitalized), but has quit that and right now has no desire to change. It's heart breaking and those of us around her feel so helpless. YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB just by beginning, getting professional help, and seeking a network of people who will support you. Don't give up. You already know it'll be hard, but it'll be so worth it. And what a story you'll have to tell and ability to give others hope as well. Take care.

kenazfehu

Since you're already obsessed about food, perhaps you could become a nutritionist - turn that obsession into something beneficial while educating yourself about physiology and nutrition.

I'm working in the opposite direction (from obese to slimmer), but perhaps what I've done will help you. I stopped eating between meals as completely as I can (with a few slip-ups in the past couple of months). If it's not time for a meal when I want to eat, I tell myself "You can wait." I scheduled 4 meals per day and am very careful to make myself an appealing and nutritious plate of food. Then I eat as slowly as I can and enjoy it.

As my stomach is growing and I'm allowing my body more calories, my appetitie is becoming more and more insatiable. Waiting 3-4 hours between meals is a nightmare.

Perhaps 2 hours apart for meals would work much better for you, then. Mine are 3 hours apart, which is just about right. Since I was overeating for so long and never really felt hungry, it's kind of a pleasure to be hungry for a meal now.

IntoTheSky

This is a battle that is going to be hard for you. It is hard for every ED survivor. It will take time to learn the "right" way for you. Set up a reasonable plan for food each day, portion out snacks, even the ones that are not so healthy, just so you can learn to have a healthy relationship with food. Set it up to where you are eating something every hour or two, if your appetite wont let you wait, plan for hunger. Make *most* of your snacks healthy, good ones, and have something that you really drool over every couple of days. It is ok in this stage to do that. Be super honest with your therapist. You are not weak. You are very strong. Just for getting help, you are strong. You are not pathetic. Pathetic people don't even try to get out of this hole. You are amazing! Just from your responses, I can tell that you are loving, caring, considerate and want to succeed. You WILL get through this! I am sure that any of us would be willing to be your ear if you need one. Just keep swimming, girlie! Eventually, you will get there.

Numptcakes

I'm so glad and proud of you for recognizing that you need help and wanting to recover. I know a young woman who went into out-patient treatment (very nearly hospitalized), but has quit that and right now has no desire to change. It's heart breaking and those of us around her feel so helpless. YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB just by beginning, getting professional help, and seeking a network of people who will support you. Don't give up. You already know it'll be hard, but it'll be so worth it. And what a story you'll have to tell and ability to give others hope as well. Take care.

Thank you for your kind words. I was THIS CLOSE to being admitted but the fear of being without my family is just that little bit stronger than the demon itself - so over the last week, I've upped my game and I'm hoping it pays off. I truly hope that young lady sees the light before it's too late. One day living with this illness is a day too many.

Numptcakes

Perhaps 2 hours apart for meals would work much better for you, then. Mine are 3 hours apart, which is just about right. Since I was overeating for so long and never really felt hungry, it's kind of a pleasure to be hungry for a meal now.

It's something I'm going to try. Even three meals and three small snacks, but sticking to them religiously as opposed to skipping them if I don't feel hungry. Perhaps my body is craving a routine.

phillips0911

I went through the same thing before I had my daughter. It was horrible. I know that the psychological factor is horrible, and I also know that it can actually be painful to eat after not eating for so long. Are you able to plan out 3-6 meals per day that have a little protein, veggies, maybe a sweet potato too. Then when you feel like a binge episode you can just eat the planned meal... Or have a friend to call or message? When I feel a binge coming on, I have started to call a family member. Just remember that food is vital. Maybe when you get the proper nutrition it will be easier because your body won't be screaming for food. Don't punish yourself for a bad choice. Try to just take control and put it behind you by making your next meal very nutritious.

Add me if you'd like extra support!
-K

Numptcakes

This is a battle that is going to be hard for you. It is hard for every ED survivor. It will take time to learn the "right" way for you. Set up a reasonable plan for food each day, portion out snacks, even the ones that are not so healthy, just so you can learn to have a healthy relationship with food. Set it up to where you are eating something every hour or two, if your appetite wont let you wait, plan for hunger. Make *most* of your snacks healthy, good ones, and have something that you really drool over every couple of days. It is ok in this stage to do that. Be super honest with your therapist. You are not weak. You are very strong. Just for getting help, you are strong. You are not pathetic. Pathetic people don't even try to get out of this hole. You are amazing! Just from your responses, I can tell that you are loving, caring, considerate and want to succeed. You WILL get through this! I am sure that any of us would be willing to be your ear if you need one. Just keep swimming, girlie! Eventually, you will get there.

This world needs more people like you! I'm so lucky to have so much support on this site.
Thank you for the advice and I will be taking heed of it. Time to fight this - and this time there's no messing around.

BeingAwesome247

I have never been underweight
For as long as I can remember, I'd had an unhealthy relationship with food though, so I have an idea of the anxiety you're dealing with. With anything, the first step is admitting you have a problem, seeking help and talking to people about it.
To be honest, I probably still have of a bit of an issue with food - love/hate - logic VS feelings

Anorexia is about control right? Maybe maintaining a food schedule and planning out meals might help ease your anxiety

You are NOT pathetic or weak either....the fact that you're talking about it and taking this seriously proves so

I wish you nothing but the best

((HUGS))

BetterCrazyThanLazy

You are on the right path because you recognized that there is a problem and that takes a lot of courage! You can do it! You seem like such a sweet and humble girl, I wish you the best of luck!

I am a recovering bulimic and to me it's a forever fight. I don't know if I will ever be ok but portioning, planning and working out - discipline and routine, are the things that are helping me get through each and every day.

Hugs!:flowerforyou:

Numptcakes

I went through the same thing before I had my daughter. It was horrible. I know that the psychological factor is horrible, and I also know that it can actually be painful to eat after not eating for so long. Are you able to plan out 3-6 meals per day that have a little protein, veggies, maybe a sweet potato too. Then when you feel like a binge episode you can just eat the planned meal... Or have a friend to call or message? When I feel a binge coming on, I have started to call a family member. Just remember that food is vital. Maybe when you get the proper nutrition it will be easier because your body won't be screaming for food. Don't punish yourself for a bad choice. Try to just take control and put it behind you by making your next meal very nutritious.

Add me if you'd like extra support!
-K

I'm sorry for your suffering! But glad to see you've worked through a lot and haven't given up

I think smaller, regular meals is the key right now. Support, too! I've always been stubborn and wanted to take the world on alone but I've come to realise that it's just not possible this time.