Ladies, how do you deal with a break up?

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  • rlmiller73190
    rlmiller73190 Posts: 342 Member
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    Two months ago, my three year relationship ended and I was devastated... I took a weekend trip (four hour drive) to a facility that I worked at this past March. The facility was my happy place when I worked there, and after spending a weekend there just reconnecting with the people who work there, the clients, and good friends, I felt AMAZING! I was finally able to get back into my runs, I was dancing around my house in my socks, and I was getting stopped on the street by men and women telling me that I was beautiful! I got my shine back :)

    Basically, take a small trip to somewhere that makes you happy and heals your soul (if possible). Otherwise, try new things (new foods, new exercises, anything). And let guys buy you drinks! You don't owe them anything other than a small conversation, but it'll make you feel great about yourself when guys are interested, even if you're not interested/ready to get back out there. But focus on you first, and get your shine back :)
  • Fairysoul
    Fairysoul Posts: 1,361 Member
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    I focus on myself and what I need to do for me and my future, and somone stubbled along, now with me for 8 years :)
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

    yep it's true. nothing drives out an old nail like a new nail. go get nailed
  • Derpina7
    Derpina7 Posts: 552 Member
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    Keep yourself busy, maybe pick up a new hobby (I actually picked up running kinda as a way with dealing with a relationship that went sideways). Allow yourself some time to 'cry it out', but don't dwell on being sad for too long. Dating other people can help too, when you're ready to anyway :)
    Oh, and vino ;)
    :heart:
  • RachelX04
    RachelX04 Posts: 1,123 Member
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    I workout hard..
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
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    Two months ago, my three year relationship ended and I was devastated... I took a weekend trip (four hour drive) to a facility that I worked at this past March. The facility was my happy place when I worked there, and after spending a weekend there just reconnecting with the people who work there, the clients, and good friends, I felt AMAZING! I was finally able to get back into my runs, I was dancing around my house in my socks, and I was getting stopped on the street by men and women telling me that I was beautiful! I got my shine back :)

    Basically, take a small trip to somewhere that makes you happy and heals your soul (if possible). Otherwise, try new things (new foods, new exercises, anything). And let guys buy you drinks! You don't owe them anything other than a small conversation, but it'll make you feel great about yourself when guys are interested, even if you're not interested/ready to get back out there. But focus on you first, and get your shine back :)

    ^^^ I second this.

    Keep busy and focus on you.

    I know people keep saying booze and sex, but that has never been helpful for me or any of my friends....
    We kept busy and worked on "getting our shine back" (I like how that sounds!!)

    Give yourself a few days to wallow (less if you are the one who ended it), and then pick yourself up and get busy on shining!

    I made myself a bucket list of things I always wanted to do but never did, and then I start doing them! I feel amazing every time I could cross something off that list!
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    I'm always the dumper. When I broke up with my fiance a couple years ago I was upset about it for a few weeks or so, then put it behind me. Guess I'm not the super emotional type.

    ETA: My only stereotypical response is cutting/dying/changing the hair. I always do it.
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    Well, before my husband came along, i usually wouldn't eat and i would cry for maybe about a day before just getting up, go to school, and enjoy the hell out of band class (I loved marching band and I still love music).

    If anything happened my husband and I (we have been together for over 4 years, married for over 1 year), I probably would just continue to raise our son, work out, and cry for a while. Sorry, I don't have confidence to put on a red dress.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    Some awesome suggestions on this board for sure! I just went through a bad breakup. I definitely didn't eat for a week, but then I did the following:

    1. Hired a personal trainer
    2. Dyed my hair
    3. Applied to business school, and got in.
    4. Drank a lot of wine, smoked a lot of ....
    5. Threw out my underwear and bought new everything (even pink ones!)
    6. Found two kittens
    7. Cut back on Facebook (it's the WORST in a breakup)

    All in three months. I was definitely in a get even, get hot, prove that I'm a stronger person than he thinks kind of mode...

    Today I'm in pretty good shape. He still texts me and now I ignore without a problem.

    I will say, I couldn't have done it with out my RL friends, my family and a lot of really awesome people here on MFP, like SoDamnHungry (*waves).
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
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    no eating, no sleeping and lots of sad music played over and over and over again while I cry.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    I was only broken up with once.
    I needed closure
    Then I needed more closure.
    After that I listened to sad music.
    Then I listened to angry music. Then I said EF it and moved on.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    Read this:

    9780312285197.jpg
  • cmpollard01
    cmpollard01 Posts: 246
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    And something my mom always told me that helped me through a few break up "I didn't bring you into a world with a man by your side, so you do not need a man by your side to survive" (it sounds much nicer in spanish for some reason lol)

    That may be the best break up advice I ever heard! The last break up I went through was awful...self imposed awful! I was depressed, lethargic, threw myself a pity-party on the regular...I kind of hibernated. For 9 months. And then, I started a blog. Didn't expect anyone to read it, but writing was always good therapy for me, no matter what the situation. I came out of my fog and found the man I'm currently with standing there, waiting patiently for me to pay attention. :)

    I wish my Granny had said this though! Even if I didn't want to hear it, it would have made me giggle. And I needed more of that!
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    BreakUpIceCream.jpg
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Based on what I've seen on the MFP forums, I'd say the best answer to the question asked in this topic title is:


    Poorly.
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    Sleep with his best friend.
  • goldfinger88
    goldfinger88 Posts: 686 Member
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    The best way to deal with any loss, especially the loss of someone we thought was important to us, is simply to get on with our lives. Get involved with things we enjoy. Get our mind off ourselves where it seems to be stuck most of the time. When the time is right, you may or you may not meet another person who is better for you. But you must always live with yourself. So take good care of you. And no, don't run out and replace a love with someone new. That's cruel to the other person.
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
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    Time is the only thing really. But while you're waiting on time, go ride someone else and pamper yourself.
  • MdmAcolyte
    MdmAcolyte Posts: 382 Member
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    I let myself be sad for ONE DAY and ONE DAY ONLY. After that, its a brief re-visit to my 5 year plan, review my list of what I want in a relationship, and then back on to greener pastures. :)

    You can't love anyone else until you love yourself ~ so take care of YOU first and everything else will fall into place in due time.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
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    New York Super Fudge Chunk

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