I am pathetic

rd16

first of all YOU are NOT pathetic! you have to stop saying that to yourself. i, too, am 5"2" and abt the same weight as you.although i'm probably much older. just remember to make small LIFE changes. this is something you have to do for the rest of your life so it has to be reasonable. like... take sugar OUT of your diet for 2wks. you CAN do that. day by day. it sounds silly but put a sticker on that day of your calendar when you make it a day w/o sugar. or when you exercise that day. it's a good visual and will keep you motivated. exercise is NOT an option! do something everyday for a minimum of 20mins. it will be interesting to see how you're doing in a week!!

thr33martins

Start with forgiving yourself and NEVER calling yourself names like "pathetic" again!!! Life happens, especially when you are in college. You are not pathetic....you are normal. It will come to you. In the mean time, try not to criticize yourself. It will only make you feel helpless and undermine your goals.

elishazf

I have been on this website for too long to have absolutely nothing to show for it. All I need to lose is 30lbs and I can't do it.. I get really into it and then something get in the way. Here are the different reasons why I get sidetracked:

"I can't afford to buy healthy food."
"I have a meal plan... its hard to keep track of the food they have."
"I never see any results."
"I don't have time to go to the gym."
etc. etc. etc.

The list can go on forever. I have no self esteem and I NEED to find a way to change things. I NEED to be more motivated. I am so ashamed of myself and I really don't know how to get past this terrible place I am in...

I'm 5'1 and since I started college I have avoided the scale... but I would assume I am up to 155-160 When I am really on track I eat 1200 calories a day and work out 3x per week. The results are almost non existent. When I was trying my hardest, I never was able to get below 145, and that was after being in the hospital for three days...

please help me

Welll calling yourself pathetic definitely won'te help your self esteem and if it means anything I don't think you're pathetic. Far from it. I used to have those exact same issues until one work I just forced myself to go to the gym. If I was coming home from work I'd bring a change of clothes so I'd go straight to the gym and wouldn't have an excuse. One thing you have to keep in mind is that results aren't instant and not everyone is the same. Everyone's different. It took me months before I even lost 5 pounds. the key is repetition. Don't compare yourself to others. Some people lose fast some people don't lose it as fast but you will get there as long as you persevere. And during my freshmen year at ECU I never weighed myself ever. Especially since I was a frat brother. Don't be so hard on yourself. You'll get there.

diligentjosh

As amazing as it sounds, i have found that eating healthy is actually cheaper.

When filling up on convenience foods we are getting "empty" calories, and get hungry again faster. I found when i was eating mostly veggies, fruits, meat...and carbs in moderation my grocery bill was cheaper. I fyou can get yourself to change the thoughts running through your head, you will find the opposite is actually true.

Anything bought that is readymade is bad for you and filled with fat. On that same token, however, on the financial side you are comparing apples to oranges. Healthy stuff at the market, compared to unhealthy stuff at the market, is more expensive. Things that come in a can or a box generally cost less. But, of course, if you eat out every day, you spend more because of the cost that the producer spend making the food. I just wanted to clarify what you meant and what she is clarifying by "more expensive." Both of you, however, are right in your messages!

razzmahtazz

I don't really have any good advice, other than to say that I don't think you're pathetic. I think you just haven't been ready yet to do what you need to do. Some people are never ready - some don't even bother to try in the first place. At least you are trying. It shows you have the desire. Now it's just a matter of whether or not that desire is strong enough to outweigh the things that are holding you back. Set your priorities. Don't punish yourself, don't be too restrictive, and don't rush things. When you are ready, you will make permanent changes to your life for the better. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

I love what you said!

californiagirl2012

I have been on this website for too long to have absolutely nothing to show for it. All I need to lose is 30lbs and I can't do it.. I get really into it and then something get in the way. Here are the different reasons why I get sidetracked:

"I can't afford to buy healthy food."
"I have a meal plan... its hard to keep track of the food they have."
"I never see any results."
"I don't have time to go to the gym."
etc. etc. etc.

The list can go on forever. I have no self esteem and I NEED to find a way to change things. I NEED to be more motivated. I am so ashamed of myself and I really don't know how to get past this terrible place I am in...

I'm 5'1 and since I started college I have avoided the scale... but I would assume I am up to 155-160 When I am really on track I eat 1200 calories a day and work out 3x per week. The results are almost non existent. When I was trying my hardest, I never was able to get below 145, and that was after being in the hospital for three days...

please help me

I'm 5'1" and I've been there. Worse than that. I floundered for 15 years. I never achieved my goal until I was 50. I'm almost 52. I lost a lot of years following a lot of crap and yo-yo'd from one diet to the next. I ran marathon after marathon and worked my butt off at the gym lifting heavy weights for over 30 years, martial arts for 10 years, yet the weight kept creeping up. It's because I'm so small and don't need as much food as everyone around me. It didn't seem like I ate too much. I didn't binge, pig out, emotionally eat, or eat junk food. I ate healthy all my life.

I'm older but this is what finally worked for me once and for all. I hope at least once piece of it helps you.

There is no mystery to weight loss, everyone thinks something is wrong, their metabolism is broken, they have low thyroid, they have menopause or whatever issue, they are as unique as a snowflake, whatever. I thought a lot of these things once too but once the doctor helped resolve the health issues for me I learned there is still no magic pill. Most people eat more than they need to and are not at good at estimating calories as they think they are. Most people have a lower BMR than they think they do. The only way to know for sure is to go to a lab and have it tested. It doesn't seem fair to have to eat less and feel a little hunger. It's hard to face the truth of it, very hard. It's not fun. It's drudgery at times. But if you learn to enjoy your smaller amounts of food (necessary to lose weight, since the reason we got fat in the first place was eating too much whether we knew it or not), and rejoice in your victories it can be done.

All I can do is share what worked for me. I achieved my goal at age 50 after beating my head against the wall for 15 years. Yeah anyone can do it, but I can tell you that you are up against a lot when you are older and I believe females have some unique issue to face with hormones and such. The sooner you can get a handle on it the better. DO NOT GIVE UP. As I got older and the weight piled on (and I didn't feel I was eating too much!) everyone kept telling me to give up, this is what happens when you get older. I'm small, and I didn't realize how small I was until I lost the weight. Everyone said I had big bones. I looked hefty because I worked out. Once I lost the weight I realized how small I really was and that small people don't need to eat as much as big people. HINT: If you are short you are probably small.

Your body loses weight in chunks, not linear. I have found that you can do everything right and your weight loss seems to plateau but if you are patient and keep exercising and eating at a deficit (however slight) you will lose it, it will suddenly "whoosh". There are so many variables for the scale; water retention, digestion, hormones, allergies, sodium, carbs, water intake, DOMS, inflammation, the list goes on. People mistakenly think they lose or gain weight when they eat more or less because of these fluctuations.

Losing weight requires tremendous patience. You will not lose it when you want it or where you want it. The body does its thing. Some apparent plateaus can last a month or so. You cannot make it happen faster. You must focus on two things; calories and exercise. Nothing else matters. Scales and metrics don't matter. The day in and day out grind of exercise and calories are all that matters. It is not very exciting until things fall into place. You get your victories and you ride one victory to the next.

The scale is a trend tool. The scale is good but put it away and only check once a week and only use it as a trend tool. It will fluctuate, it does not matter. Take front side and back progress pictures at least once a month. You will see differences that the metrics won't tell you and it's that little bit of NSV that will keep you going until the next victory.

To say eat more is wrong.

To say eat less is wrong.

To find the exact calories needed for YOU to be in a healthy sustainable calorie deficit is the right answer. Wait, if you need to adjust by 100 do it, wait, adjust, wait, adjust, wait. The tortoise wins this race.

All that matters is calories. A healthy balanced diet within a calorie budget for a deficit that is right for YOU is all that matters for weight loss. Don't make it complicated.


Also people play mental accounting games with calories just like with finances. Make steps to make sure you are making accurate measurements. Packaged foods can have MORE than they say but not less (they get in trouble if less so they would rather error with MORE).

If you typically intake sodium at a certain rate your body adjusts, but if you make a sudden change then you will see a spike.

Exercise is for making your lean body mass pretty (especially lifting weights) for when the fat is gone. Losing fat with no muscle is ugly and cardio alone will not make you pretty. You cannot out exercise too many calories.

It really is about calories. I tell people this all the time and they say "Well if calories are all that matter why do you eat so clean???!!" Well, because it makes me feel better, sleep better, and perform better at my sports.

Too many changes at once can be hard on some people. I've always eaten healthy so it easy for me to simply eat less. Eating at a calorie deficit is hard on people; even a small deficit puts your body in a state of flux with hormones and such. Everyone is different. Some people can handle a deeper calorie deficit than others, this is not right or wrong, it just is. Stress in your life affects your hunger hormones; lack of sleep, fatigue, job stress, family stress, financial stress, etc. Add in emotional eating issues and it gets even more complicated. Most people can only handle so much change/stress at once, they try to do too much and fail. Sometimes it might be a better strategy to eat at maintenance and make some small changes first, it really depends on how much stress you are taking in at the moment.

What is the exact number of calories for you?

We’ve been trying to figure out an exact NUMBER of calories that everyone should be eating, without recognizing that everyone is slightly different. In truth, the calories aren’t the end game. Your body is. So the EXACT amount of Calories that are right for you is the EXACT amount that will allow you to maintain your ideal bodyweight no matter what some calculator or chart says.

In other words, an online calculator might tell you that you need to eat 2,500 calories
per day to maintain your ideal bodyweight. But the only way to know for sure if this is
the right amount for you is to test it out. If you gain weight or can’t lose weight eating
that much, then you know you need to eat less to lose weight no matter how many
calculators and text books say otherwise.

This doesn’t mean your metabolism is broken, it just means the estimate of your needs
was just a bit off.

-John Barban (The Body Centric Calorie Guide from the Venus Index and Adonis Index Manuals)

The good thing is you don't have to worry about the starvation mode myth if you are fat. Only skinny people have to worry about starvation mode. It does not mean you have the capability to eat at a large calorie deficit if you have emotional eating disorders or other issues going on, but at least you don't have to be afraid of it anymore.

The Theory of Fat Availability:
•There is a set amount of fat that can be released from a fat cell.
•The more fat you have, the more fat can be used as a fuel when dieting.
•The less fat you have, the less fat can be used as a fuel when dieting.
•Towards the end of a transformation, when body fat is extremely low you
may not have enough fat to handle a large caloric deficit anymore.

At the extreme low end, when your body fat cannot ‘keep up’ with the energy deficit
you've imposed on your body, the energy MUST come from SOMEWHERE. This is
when you are at risk of losing lean body mass during dieting (commonly referred to
as ‘starvation mode’). This happens at extremely low levels of body fat, under 6% in
men and 12% in women [Friedl K.E. J Appl Phsiol, 1994].

-Brad Pilon and John Barban (from The Reverse Taper Diet in The Adonis Index and Venus Index manuals)

Lifting weights is KEY. I recently had my DXA scan done and at 51.5 years of age I have the bone density of a super athletic 30 year old. That is a direct result of lifting for over 30 years. Now if that is not scientific proof that lifting weights keeps you younger I don't know what is! Also I believe it is why most people think I look much younger than I really am.

Start lifting now, lift heavy and change it up often, find a lot of weight routines with free weights, make it fun, embrace it, make it part of your life. Only 3 days a week is all it would take. Crank up your tunes and learn to love it, because your body will love it and it will make your quality of life better in many ways, especially when you get older like me.

Because of this I don't have to worry about osteoporosis. If you wait until you are older and your bones start to deteriorate it's a bit too late, you can't get back what you lost, and you can only start a resistance routine that will prevent further damage.

If you are female you don't have the hormones to get big naturally. I lift heavy and I'm still really tiny. My lean body mass is only 104 lbs and that is fairly heavy for a 5'1" female, and quite a bit of this is due to my having very dense bones from 30 years of lifting, not all muscle, and I'm still quite tiny.

My muscles really are not that big, but they show a lot of definition because I'm quite lean. If I gained some fat then I would have a softer more toned look (which is OKAY too!). Then if I gained more fat I would look bulky and hefty like I did most of my life until last year. YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT. Lean and ripped, soft and toned, or hefty, it all depends on how much fat you leave on your body. Calories are the only thing that changes fat. Exercise is for changing or maintaining your lean body mass only. Lifting weights will give you the best bang for your buck for shaping your body. I finally changed my shape by putting lifting first and cardio 2nd. You cannot out exercise too many calories.

Being on a calorie deficit is hard. You can't do this journey on will power alone. You must set up your environment for success. Have a team around you in your real life, not just online. Get trigger foods out of the house. It will take some sacrifice and it's not easy. You might have to say no to some social events sometimes.

For me it's all about a calorie budget. I had less of a budget available when I was losing weight, more to spend now that I'm maintaining and all the tools I used for weight loss come into play for the rest of my life maintaining.

When you have accumulated excess fat, you have accumulated a debt. It is hard to pay off the debt (you have less calories to spend). If you are sitting next to someone your same gender and height and they are not overweight and you are, they get to eat more than you (have more calories to spend) because they are debt free. You have less calories to spend because you are paying off your debt.

G__Force

Are you posting your dairy so your friends can see, maybe they can give you some pointers and help you alog. Theres no reason you should not be losing weight if your working it. dont get done on yourself.

nikilis

make a thread, and post the thread.

MinMin97

I get this!
I would always fail at "dieting."
But I have found that, if you select a few things to improve upon each week...something attainable, that will move you forward, write them on an index card or whatever, and focus on a few changes at a time.

Don't expect total change and perfection all at once. Improvement, not perfection, is the goal. We all fail at perfection, but improvement is awesome and encouraging!

It is true, that when you begin to make changes, you will run into those "walls"....basically, you run into the old habits. Don't be discouraged by that. It's good to run into those walls, 'cause that's where you are on the cutting edge of change.

Encourage yourself, and acknowlege all your improvements, not just the scale, but your habits and patterns, too:)

SoDamnHungry

I answer these without judging, only the desire to help:

"I can't afford to buy healthy food." - Healthy food can be cheap, too. At the very least, eat less of the bad food. Calories, calories, calories. Most of what I eat is junk, but I just don't eat as much junk.
"I have a meal plan... its hard to keep track of the food they have." - Get veggies as a side and don't eat as much of the bad stuff.
"I never see any results." - Results take time.
"I don't have time to go to the gym." - If you have time to post this thread, you at least have time to talk a walk or do an exercise video.

Shelgirl001

well as other will suggest check your BMR and TDEE (people suggest not to eat under bmr, and eat 10 - 20% under tdee)

and as for as
I can't afford to buy healthy food." -- beans are cheap and healthy (maybe $2 for a 1 pound bag )
"I have a meal plan... its hard to keep track of the food they have." --- eat what you enjoy that fits your goals and fill up on veggies/fruit
"I never see any results." - take measurements (scales LIE)
"I don't have time to go to the gym." -- you have a body right ? well use it .. squats, lunges, jogging in place .. all this can be done anywhere any time

just some suggestions .. you can do this hun and drop the "I am pathetic" crap .. you being here and trying proves your not

:flowerforyou:

Excellent response!!! And, remember it needs to really be what you want and to be a LIFESTYLE change, not just a temporary diet plan.

mandachristine

Whenever I lack motivation to work out, I come on here and go to the success stories. Then I go work out. You can do this. Don't beat yourself up, we all have setbacks and struggles. It's how we deal with them:)

nikilis

draw your motivation from this. as cool as he looks, hes still a sloth.

friends dont let friends become sloths.

mandachristine

Whenever I lack motivation to work out, I come on here and go to the success stories. Then I go work out. You can do this. Don't beat yourself up, we all have setbacks and struggles. It's how we deal with them that counts:)

BalancedHealth1

You are NOT pathetic, you are just going through what a lot of people go through on their way to getting healthy.
#1. Get outside and walk 30 to 45 minutes a day. It's free, the fresh air is good for your mood and waistline. Walk up the stairs. Find ways to walk a little farther each day. Park at the far end of the parking lot. Get off the bus 3 blocks early.
#2. Healthy food is not expensive. Vegetables, rice, beans, fruits, oatmeal (long cooking not the minute stuff) are less expensive and better for you than the processed, boxed foods that are created to keep you hungry and overweight. You just need a little help with shopping and recipe/menu choices.
#3. What is your meal plan? Some big name diet plan? Those don't help. See #2.
#4. Don't look for results. In the beginning, pay more attention to how you feel. More energy? Lighter in your step? Happier? Sleeping better? You get to your goal by taking small steps and living day to day. Don't make weight loss your plan, but DO make becoming healthier your plan and over time you'll see results.
#5. EVERYONE struggles with something along the way. Sometimes you feel pathetic, but don't let it get to you. Stick with it and it will get easier.

simonkurth

Hi,
I'm currently doing the p90x program. I know it sounds crazy, but it really does work. I started at 311 in July, I'm currently 276.

Iwe have an excellent support group if your interested in joining. The workouts aren't the main aspect however. It is the nutrition. Not dieting, but healthy food choices.

Just throwing it out there.
I hope you can believe in yourself. We have plenty of others including myself who felt the same way as you.

All the best
Simon

moontyrant

I have a meal plan too! Also no time for half my school work and working out more than twice a week. I don't have much to tell you in the way of advice- I'm not losing a whole lot the past couple weeks. Just know you're not alone and that you need to be patient.

Capt_Apollo

the three reasons people succeed

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/10/22/3-reasons-people-succeed/

also, i suggest you read this one: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/08/16/get-over-it/

Coming4U

"If you think you can, you are right. If you think you can't you are also right"

macantrell

So many wonder people here to support you, BUT you must be ready to help yourself. First you need to stop beating yourself up, talking negative to yourself and saying you can't do it is your first challenge. Begin to stop the negative thoughts as soon as they come into your head, tell yourself you can do it and what you want. Track your food even if your choices are not the best, make little changes each day a recognize your accomplishment. You will soon see that small little changes in what you eat and move make changes in your body and mind. Positive self talk works wonders. Like one other person said, one day three years ago I reach the point of "ready". I hated my body, hate hurting all the time, hated being sick all the time and I was so over it all. I knew the day I said I am STARTING right this second (not Monday) that I was there. Three years ago I started my journey and lost 50 lbs (my profile just shows the 2 lbs I lost on this website). Really it isn't that hard, overcoming your thoughts and defeating yourself is what you need to overcome then everything else will fall in place. Best of luck. Remember talk nicely to yourself and know you can do it.

channabelle

Hello, It's lousy to feel pathetic and we can say you aren't but you have to believe that you aren't. It sounds like you have been grappling with your weigh loss for some time and it's hard work especially if you aren't getting results. I would start all over again, a brand new start and would make very small changes. The small sensible changes are the most sustainable in the long term, although it takes longer to reach your goals. I don't know that I could survive on 1200 calories per day. I need about 1650 calories a day to maintain my current body weight (of which I'm planning to lose some) and I've decided to start by reducing my calories to 1400 a day. This is what I'm eating today. Breakfast, fruit and nut muslie 1/2 cup (not toasted), 2 tablespoons of vanilla low fat yogurt and half a cup of milk. In the snacks category I've added a home made latte and I've allowed 1/2 cup 2% milk for my cups of tea. For snacks I've also had a medium size banana and a medium Pink Lady apple. For lunch I had 1 thick slice of homemade wholemeal bread with homemade mayonnaise, some light tasty cheese, cucumber, tomato and red pepper. For dinner I'm making a tuna sauce made with light sour cream and parsley to put in a 60g vol-au-vent, which has a whopping 300 or so calories per serve. With that I'll have a big tossed salad with lettuce, cucumber, tomato, red pepper and grated carrot, and some homemade balsamic vinegar and olive oil dressing. I haven't used up all my calorie allowance and have enough left for an Arnotts Mint slice biscuit which I love with 8 calories to spare. So I think I'm eating pretty well by even reducing the amount I eat just a little.
I don't like counting calories but it is how I keep track of what I eat otherwise I'm not thinking.
If calorie counting is not your thing perhaps you could start be reducing your portion sizes by a very small amount and that way your tummy has time to adjust slowly to the difference.
You should be able to by healthy food more cheaply than junk food, takeaway and even prepackaged food. Buy fresh fruit and vegetables, small portions of lean meat, pasta, rice, chickpeas in cans. Things like fruit juices add extra calories when we can drink water instead. If you don't like the taste of water, try adding a slice of lemon for flavour.
The trouble with dieting is we feel deprived of one of the most basic needs we have as humans and that's to eat. I think that we have lived with over flavoured, over packaged convenience foods for so long, we've forgotten how to cook from scratch. Is does take longer but the taste and flavour is worth it. How about growing some herbs. Even if you live in an apartment you can grow some herbs in little pots and put them on the window sill to catch the light. Try something easy like parsley and basil to start with and I would buy some plants already established as germinating seeds can be tricky.
As for exercising, finding time if you are time poor it is very hard. Perhaps you can incorporate things in your daily life like using the stairs instead of the elevator. If you have 10 flights of stairs in your building, start with climbing one set of stairs and increase as you feel fitter. Walk down the stairs too, it's easier and you are moving. You can do side leg raises while at the kitchen sink, I do squats in the shower while I'm washing my hair. Now doesn't that sound weird, it works for me though. I do wall push ups too because I'm not very strong in the shoulders, basically I'm unfit. As much as I loathe housework, I know that a good vacuum, bathroom scrub and floor wash are all ways to burn calories.
I hope some of my ideas may be of use to you.
Take care and give it your best. You owe it to yourself to look after you.

SmexAppeal

Have you ever heard the story of the howling dog?

A man was walking by a house one day, and noticed a dog lying on the porch that was howling and moaning. The dog's owner was sitting on the porch, not minding the dog. The dog kept howling & wimpering.

'What's wrong with your dog?", the passerby asked the man.

"He's laying on a nail and it's hurting him".

"Well, why doesn't he got up off the nail?"

"Doesn't hurt enough yet, I guess."


When it hurts enough, you'll find the motivation to change your circumstances.

THIS
If you are truly sick of the lack in self esteem, the excess weight, the laziness.. you will do it. All of your "excuses" are simply that. You don't need loads of money to buy healthy food. You don't need to go to a gym. The internet is a vast and limitless source for exercises. You have a chair??? You can exercise. You just have to want it. So maybe, you need to want it more.

Try finding pictures of your perfect body. Pictures of healthy foods. Motivational posters. Make yourself a collage and put this somewhere you will see it everyday. Let it motivate you in the morning to do it finally!!!
Come on now... you can do this!!!! Can't is not an option!