Bank Accounts & Your S.O.

blink1021

So...I was talking to my s.o. about this yesterday and it got me curious...

1. How do you and your s.o. handle bank accounts?

2. Are you currently married? If so, did marriage change your feelings about how you would handle money?

3. At what point in your relationship did you decide how you would deal with bank accounts?

4. Did you ever fight/disagree about your this?

1. The bank account is in my name only and his checks are direct deposited into my account.
2. Yes we are married and no it did not change how we handle money.
3. We decided this arrangement just last month. I had allowed him sole responsibility of paying bills and handling our money and I found out how bad he was at it. We were paying way more in late fees than anything else. He does get an allowance and all our bills are paid on time. So far it works and we are both happy.
4. We did fight about money a lot when he handled our finances it was very stressful and we were always struggling. I put us on a budget and we find that we have more extra money than we did before because we are not paying all sorts of late fees and finance charges.

chopzgurl05

We have been together 10 years. We are married. We have a joint account for bills and monthly expenses. Then we each have our own personal accounts. Works great for us!
I guess I should add that we have always done the accounts this way since the beginning and we rarely fight over money. If we do fight it is usually over using the joint account for purchases we didn't agree on ahead of time.

kristamarie91

1. Well we have the same accounts, and we pay all the bills the same way and don't have to worry about doing things in half.

2. We are married, but we started sharing an account before we got engaged!

3. We decided when it was getting annoying to driving to all the different banks to distribute money for different bills or payments.

4. We don't really fight in general. But now I'm a stay at home wife, because my husband is in the Military. I manage our accounts, and for him that's easier because I know at any given time what either of us can spend on anything. Also I make sure that all the bills are paid on time and make sure we're saving every month. In general it helps if one person manages because then there is like a gate keeper of the accounts so they know all the information instead of two people fighting over it. I mean everyone is different and may see it different but that's just what works for us!

Good luck, and try not to fight about money! It's the worst thing in the world to fight about, and also silly!

Graceious1

1. We each have our own accounts but we have one where we both have standing orders paid into for household bills.

2. I am married and have been for almost 9 years.

3. We decided to deal with bank accounts when we got married.

4. We have never fought or disagreed about this. I think this is because we still have our own accounts with our own money and only share one account for household bills.

It really works for us especially as I am the Financial Director in the family. Online banking works wonders.

petstorekitty

I HAD to read this topic. my bf and I just moved in together a few weeks ago.
I'm VERY money concious and neither of us know exactly what to do about "sharing money or expenses yet

I bought this book to help me.. http://www.shackingupguide.com/
I got it for the financial advice, but it's all around interesting.

1-As of right now we have separate accounts.
2-We are not married, but plan to be.
3-We're working on it.. We will most likely have our own accounts and create a joint account to put household money into for rent, bills, maybe groceries. Haven't figured it out yet.
4-We don't fight about money. We don't actually "fight." We try to initiate conversation about anything. communication is key, right?

DontStopB_Leakin

I'm a stay at home mom that makes absolutely zilch...


I pray to God my husband shares his income with me, or I'm royally effed.

sarahrbraun

So...I was talking to my s.o. about this yesterday and it got me curious...

1. How do you and your s.o. handle bank accounts?

2. Are you currently married? If so, did marriage change your feelings about how you would handle money?

3. At what point in your relationship did you decide how you would deal with bank accounts?

4. Did you ever fight/disagree about your this?

I haven't worked in 8 years. We have a special needs teen, and I need to be available for his appointments, etc.

We have been together 18 years, and married for almost 12. I have been *in charge* of the financial stuff for probably the last 16 years. The account has always been in his name, but until we got married and he added my name to the account, I had to have him sign checks to pay bills. I have a personal checking account that I use to deal with our son's SSI money, or anything that we have agreed that DH should not have access to ( sometimes we will earmark money for something and put it into MY account so it is *safe*).

We are accountable to each other to make sure all the bills are paid. If hubby wants to buy something over $50 he will call me and ask if we have room in the budget for it. If I want something over $50, I discuss it with him. It isn't about permission, it is about letting the other person know the money is being spent, so they don't try to spend it too.

sarahrbraun

1. We have our own separate bank accounts and share 1 checking/savings account
2. Marriage did not change anything. We both work and she should have the liberty to use her money the way she sees fit and the same goes for me. I told her that I never want her to feel like she needs my permission to buy a pair of Blahniks like she would need if we shared our accounts. She works hard, go ahead and play hard. I work hard, I like my toys too.
3. We decided early on. Probably 2-3 years into our relationship.
4. We've had a few fights on it. Sometimes she'll say that not sharing means that we're being selfish and not wanting to be completely open with each other. And then I'll ask her if she wants to be like her girlfriends and have to ask their husbands permission for every expenditure....or be granted an allowance. Then she's quiet.

This is pretty much our relationship also.

We did have a joint account until my husband took money out of the joint account to surprise me with a gift and he got cussed out royally because I didn't know what he did with the money...............

Then I felt like a real *kitten* and had to apologize. We kept a joint account for household stuff and opened separate accounts for ourselves.

At Christmas hubby will say " I am shopping for you, don't check the account for a few days so you don't ruin the surprise" .

he will also buy something with his paypal card knowing full well that it will show up on the account as "paypal" and his secret will be safe.

BelindaDuvessa

So...I was talking to my s.o. about this yesterday and it got me curious...

1. How do you and your s.o. handle bank accounts?

2. Are you currently married? If so, did marriage change your feelings about how you would handle money?

3. At what point in your relationship did you decide how you would deal with bank accounts?

4. Did you ever fight/disagree about your this?

1. We have separate accounts. We've done joint accounts before and it ended in disaster.
2.. Married, no. We've been together 8 years and it's taken a while for us to really understand how to manage our money correctly. Hell, we still make mistakes.
3. Like I said, we originally tried a joint account. But with mismanagement from both ends, it ended badly. We might be about to try again, though. Since I am the bread-winner of the family, my account is where everything is paid from. So we both have access to it as we need it. Bills first (hopefully), then whatever else. And it's worked well so far doing it this way. He doesn't buy anything with my card, usually, without running it by me first. This is only to make sure there's not a pending bill or whatever and the money is actually there to use.
4. All the time, but not as much as we used to. We've grown up since then. The money is ours, no matter what account it's in. His goes towards bills, whereas mine goes towards bills and everything else. I make sure he has what he needs (inhalers, being the main one).

beccannes

My husband and I have always viewed any income as "our" money and it has been perfect to have the same bank account in our 8 years of marriage. Some couples prefer to keep them separated for whatever reason, which seems to work for those couples. Really to each their own, you need to sit down w/ him and figure out what might work for you and your relationship.

beccannes

So...I was talking to my s.o. about this yesterday and it got me curious...

1. How do you and your s.o. handle bank accounts?

2. Are you currently married? If so, did marriage change your feelings about how you would handle money?

3. At what point in your relationship did you decide how you would deal with bank accounts?

4. Did you ever fight/disagree about your this?

I haven't worked in 8 years. We have a special needs teen, and I need to be available for his appointments, etc.

We have been together 18 years, and married for almost 12. I have been *in charge* of the financial stuff for probably the last 16 years. The account has always been in his name, but until we got married and he added my name to the account, I had to have him sign checks to pay bills. I have a personal checking account that I use to deal with our son's SSI money, or anything that we have agreed that DH should not have access to ( sometimes we will earmark money for something and put it into MY account so it is *safe*).

We are accountable to each other to make sure all the bills are paid. If hubby wants to buy something over $50 he will call me and ask if we have room in the budget for it. If I want something over $50, I discuss it with him. It isn't about permission, it is about letting the other person know the money is being spent, so they don't try to spend it too.

I really like this over $50 idea:) might just use it for us, thanks!

tacticalhippie

1. How do you and your s.o. handle bank accounts?
We have one checking account, and savings account that only I have access to.

2. Are you currently married? If so, did marriage change your feelings about how you would handle money?
Yep, No I pretty much kept up with his money when we were dating.

3. At what point in your relationship did you decide how you would deal with bank accounts?
Once we got married and joined accounts.

4. Did you ever fight/disagree about your this?
We argue when he uses his debit card and doesn't tell me and I spend money thinking we have more than we do.

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange

My husband and I have always viewed any income as "our" money and it has been perfect to have the same bank account in our 8 years of marriage. Some couples prefer to keep them separated for whatever reason, which seems to work for those couples. Really to each their own, you need to sit down w/ him and figure out what might work for you and your relationship.

Oh--I'm more curious than anything. We've talked about it and I think we'll decide when we have to decide. more than likely we'll have at least one joint account.

1yoyoKAT

So...I was talking to my s.o. about this yesterday and it got me curious...

1. How do you and your s.o. handle bank accounts?

2. Are you currently married? If so, did marriage change your feelings about how you would handle money?

3. At what point in your relationship did you decide how you would deal with bank accounts?

4. Did you ever fight/disagree about your this?

1. We each have our own accounts and one joint account used to pay the household bills (he funds the joint account and manages the expenditures).
2. Yes, and no. The agreement was everything that is mine is mine and everything that is his is ours.
3. Early on it became clear we had different attitudes about money and spending and we knew that we had to make some mutually agreeable arrangements to avoid having financial disagreements damage our relationship.
4. Yes, we have had disagreements, but have always managed to resolve them. Having the separate accounts for us is a must. It's just money, it's not worth ruining a relationship over it. We have been married for over 20 years, second marriage for each of us. I was a stay at home mom my first marriage and one thing I learned is to never let anyone control you with money. Always have your own money. It's really important for women.

xxloveiswarr

1. We only have one account for checking and savings and he's the primary, but I've been added on. I only had a bank account for like 3 months before I met him (I always just cashed my checks) and it was primarily based in Indiana. The only reason I had it was for convenience, the place I worked for did their banking at the same bank. And I was friends with one of the tellers. When he joined the military it just made sense for me to close mine and share his.
I do it all. And I don't work. Nor do I ever have to ask if I want to buy something for myself or anything like that. He asks me whenever he wants to get anything. Yup. I'm lucky.
2. Hells yes we are married!!!
My husband was taught two very importantly quotes from my brother-in-laws.
"Happy wife, Happy life."
"What's mine is yours and what's yours is yours."
But, when we got married I worked twice as much as he did and paid most of the bills with my money. So, now that I'm not working it kind of evens out I guess.
3. About three months in when we got engaged and moved in together.
4. Sometimes my husband complains about how much I spend on groceries. Then I take him with me to prove a point. He apologizes when we get home.

Otherwise as long as I'm happy and bills are paid he's a happy camper. We're currently saving to buy a car and I'll admit there should probably be more money saved... oops.

Jenny_Taylia

Married, He has an account with one back and I have an account with a different bank. No issues with who gets what card. His is mine and mine is his.

RobfromLakewood

1. We each have a bank account and a shared account with the credit union who has our home loan. A set amount of my check goes there for our loan and saving money for property taxes, Xmas gifts and Chinese New Year gifts/red envelopes. Outside of a few hundred dollars in expenses, I write her a check for the remainder. It's only there for me to have a banking account, also closing accounts can lower your credit rating, if even slightly.

2. We are currently (and God willing, will always be) married. We were already defined about money before we married, my wife is 100% better about money than I am. We put money away together in the beginning, but then I just started giving her whatever money I have. Giving it to her ended up meaning I had more money than before I gave it to her. She's incredibly cheap with herself as well as everyone else, so she saves like crazy.

3. She is more concerned with savings than I am, but I've never really cared about how much money I had, just as long as I spent it quickly (bad habit). We went from saving for our wedding/honeymoon to saving for a home. It began with giving her $1000.00 a month to her taking over the finances when we moved in together.

4. We've never fought/argued about money. I worried she might resent being in charge of the finances, but she has reassured me, it makes her feel better. We usually discuss money every 2-3 weeks, long-term and short-term goals, where we are on these and what we might want to do, if we need to cut somewhere or something. Partly, neither of us are too materialistic and we both know I'm impulsive and she only needs to tell me to knock it off.

Interesting post, I know money troubles can plague a relationship, but luckily, my wife and I are so compatible, though completely opposite at the same time, strange but working dynamic.

FitMama2013

Separate until we got married and joined absolutely everything once married. We never had any disagreements about it and talked frequently about our desired spending habits. I could never be in a marriage where our money is separate - we earn it together and spend it together, as marriage to us means sharing it all. Others have different viewpoints and it works for them, but this is the only way for us.

ScatteredThoughts

1. How do you and your s.o. handle bank accounts?

Everything is in both our names, but she manages all of the bank accounts and credit cards. I couldn't even tell you what is in our checkings or savings accounts without asking her. :laugh:


2. Are you currently married? If so, did marriage change your feelings about how you would handle money?

Married for 20+ years. Marriage has made me more responsible about how I personally spend money, I think. Supporting my wife and children is my first priority.


3. At what point in your relationship did you decide how you would deal with bank accounts?

Pretty early. She handles all of the day to day stuff, and I handle all of research and decisions for long term investments; mutual funds, 401k, etc.


4. Did you ever fight/disagree about your this?

Only very early in our marriage. Nowadays, it is not much of a concern. We talk about things where money needs to be spent, and about how to reach our goals.

n0ob

Every cent my wife and I have is in joint accounts. We were both pretty good with money before together, so still good now.

I had 25k more saved when we got married though, and no debts. We got married when I was in the middle of my graduate work and she was just finishing undergrad.

We decided who and how to manage finances before we got married.

Seldom fight. All large and intermediate purchases are communicated.