Bank Accounts & Your S.O.

DamnImASexyBitch

We have a joint account for household expenses, plus we each have our own personal accounts for our own use. We've done this since we moved in together.

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange

i love all of the different perspectives on this!

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange

BUMP

karylee44

i had let my husband take charge of all the finances.. he ****ED it up so bad we are in debt up to our eyeballs and beyond. seems our income decreased but he kept spending like we had money. ****er.. i had NEVER been in debt or lived above my means until i got married. I would NEVER let anyone take charge of my money again. this has ruined my life, my marriage and my kids future. I am pissed at him for being an idiot and for me for trusting his judgement all these years.

karylee44

and may i add.. I am blamed because i took several years off to raise OUR three kids (daycare would have exceeded my income, so it made sense) NOt his fault for being unemployed for 3 years and when we are in desperate need for things as simple as toilet paper.. he REFUSES to take a real job. (he works for commission and makes NOTHING) he doesn't give a **** about taking care of his kids.... i work two jobs.. a day job subbing at the schools (i work for three districts) and a night and weekend job at a deli.. just to barely make enough to pay part of the bills.

AZKristi

We each have a checking account for discretionary spending and we have one joint checking account that we use to pay bills, etc. We also have a joint savings account. We direct deposit into the joint checking/savings, and transfer a set amount to our discretionary accounts each month.

slimmermomma

So...I was talking to my s.o. about this yesterday and it got me curious...

1. How do you and your s.o. handle bank accounts? - We have a joint account-

2. Are you currently married? If so, did marriage change your feelings about how you would handle money? - Yes, getting married didn't change anything -

3. At what point in your relationship did you decide how you would deal with bank accounts? we were together for a year, it was when we moved in together - we opened a joint account for bills/rent and both still had our separate accounts. After a couple years we just moved everything (paychecks) to our joint account and that is what we use for everything - a couple years ago we opened a joint savings as well.

4. Did you ever fight/disagree about your this? - No - we both thought it made the most sense when we opened the joint account and we dont see how you can share everything else and keep separate finances.

Shelbert79

1. How do you and your s.o. handle bank accounts? We have separate accounts

2. Are you currently married? If so, did marriage change your feelings about how you would handle money? We are married and we talked about how the money stuff would work out before we moved in together.

3. At what point in your relationship did you decide how you would deal with bank accounts? See above

4. Did you ever fight/disagree about your this? Nope

We figured out the household bills and split them in 1/2, I transfer $$ to his account every pay day to cover those bills. But it's nice to have my own money and he has his, so we still have our freedom to do whatever with what's leftover.

Toya2xcel

1. We both have our own individual checking/savings accounts and then we have a joint checking account. (the bank employee that opened our accounts thought we were sooo weird for doing this but hey, different strokes for different folks)

2. Married. My ideas on money didn't change but his did. After we got married he was willing to be more open about what he was spending his money on.

3. Well we were in a long distance relationship at one point for a little over a year when we were just dating. So we actually had a joint bank account prior to marriage so that we would be able to exchange money if we needed to.

4. Yes, sometimes we did fight about money in the beginning but 4 years into marriage we hardly EVER fight about money.

Bahet

Seriously, my wife handle ALL the money both for our household and our business. I would never be able to handle it I'm awful with $$ so we decided early on she would take care of it... I tease her al the time too about her secret account she is padding because I honestly couldn't tell you what we have or where it goes beyond our life is adequately funded and everyone has what they want and need...

Honey? Is that you?

I handle all the money. We have only joint accounts for savings, checking, stocks, and mutual funds. We've been married 19 years. When we got engaged my mom went to DH and asked "Are you going to let Bahet (not my real name ) handle the money?" She was concerned because I am very good with money and DH just isn't. He said "Duh!" :laugh: Today we have 2 homes, stocks, mutual funds, IRAs, no debt, etc. We joke that if he handled the money we'd be living in an apartment digging in the couch cushions for pizza money. :laugh: We have never fought about money, even when we had none.

I never had to ask DH for money and he never had to ask me. What a silly notion that just because an account is shared you don't have the same financial access as if you had your own! If you are so controlling that you can't share without demanding full accountability and having to give permission to your spouse, you don't really have an equal partnership.

That's not to say that having separate accounts is wrong. Just that if the only reason you have to have a separate account is so that you don't have to ask or give permission, that's wrong. As a side note for those who do have separate accounts - make sure you are on your spouse's account as beneficiary and vice versa or you may have some legal troubles trying to access that money in a timely manner.

Oh, and it's never a good idea to have a joint account if you aren't married or in a legalized relationship.

Swissmiss

I have my entire paycheck going into my husband's account as I do not have one. I do make more money than he but he is much better at handling it.

emilydmac

1. We have two separate bank accounts
2. No we are not, but will be soon--and I doubt being married will change how I feel about having separate bank accounts
3. From the very beginning--I love him to death but he can't manage money to save his life
4. Nope- he knows this about himself and we agree that this is the best, most peaceful way for us to handle money.

_skittybang

1. Joint - has been for quite some time - We each make roughly the same (me a lil more right now - CHA-CHING!) and each have our responsibilities of which bills get paid. Don't use debit cards so there isn't an overlap and spend what's in pocket.

2. Married 4 years & we've discussed money and handling of finances long before that. (That's what happens when you're both accountants)

3. Before we moved in together when we were around 20 .

4. Fighting about finances is inevitable and I think has been the most taxing fights to date - but it's a necessary evil and compromises have to be made.

acstansell

We have a joint checking, individual credit union savings and one savings for overdraft protection, which is in my name.

We were separate until 2 months before we got married.

We shared bills throughout our relationship - even when we had separate accounts. He had a certain number and I had a certain number. I pay the bills and handle our budget because my husband has short term memory issues and doesn't remember if he's paid stuff.

We don't really fight about money. I get stressed when we run low, especially at holidays, but we don't really fight about it. We've made an agreement and we stick to it.

AwesomelyAmber

So...I was talking to my s.o. about this yesterday and it got me curious...

1. How do you and your s.o. handle bank accounts?

2. Are you currently married? If so, did marriage change your feelings about how you would handle money?

3. At what point in your relationship did you decide how you would deal with bank accounts?

4. Did you ever fight/disagree about your this?

I have three accounts. One is a savings that I put his name on(so that he can cash his paychecks and such without issue), one is a checking and savings that is in my name only, and one is a savings that is mine only.
I am currently married and have been for 11 years.
I decided that I was going to handle the accounts after he got two credit cards without my knowledge, he didn't understand the interest rate thing and such and by the time I found out about them WE were expected to pay over $1000 to clear them up.
Sure we disagree about the finances but he understands why it is the way it is... he knows he SUCKS with money.
Our way works for us.

alpine1994

So...I was talking to my s.o. about this yesterday and it got me curious...

1. How do you and your s.o. handle bank accounts?

2. Are you currently married? If so, did marriage change your feelings about how you would handle money?

3. At what point in your relationship did you decide how you would deal with bank accounts?

4. Did you ever fight/disagree about your this?

1. We have a joint account for rent, cable, cell phones (we have a family plan together), utilities, dog walker, and sometimes we'll use it if we go out to eat or something. We each put the same amount into it every month.

2. No, but we discussed that if we got married we would keep it the way it is. It works out perfectly.

3. Soon after we moved in together. He said his brother and his brother's GF got a joint account when they moved in together and it works well for them so we gave it a shot and it's been perfect. We've been living together for 2 years, and were together for 6 years on and off before that.

4. No we never fought/disagreed about it, but we don't fight about anything.

LLStover09

1. We have joint checking/savings

2. Married. No changes

3. We were together for 6 years before we got married, about a year into our relationship we moved in together. We decided on joint checking at that point to make it easier for the bills, etc. It wasn't until we bought our first house 3 years later that we totally combined everything (savings/checking, etc)

4. Initially...I think it's hard if you are two different types of people.. ie spenders vs. savers. He was horrible with money and I had always been a saver. It took a little time, initially he would just take out an allotted amount of cash each week for his personal use because he was HORRIBLE with debit card and would never keep his reciepts and would just spend like crazy (this really drove me insane!) After about 1.5 years, he finally figured out we have a lot more money doing things "my way" and he smartened up and began using a debit card appropriately (so to speak) . We haven't had any problems since and it's been 10 years..

Starla_

My husband and I had our separate accounts when we met, then I merged mine into his to have just had the one, and now we have separate ones again to help save.

We've been married 8 years... and while my husband brings in the income he does not know how to handle money, we have struggled a lot because of his spending without thinking. I've tried to put my foot down with saving for a while.. it's only recently that I've gone and just gone ahead with plans for savings etc without consulting him until afterwards. He wasnt too happy but has seen my way works and he was able to buy a new car so he's happy to give me control now. We have to consult each other when we need anything that isnt already planned for or needed, if he needs money for something I give him his card to get it then I get his card back. I seriously have to babysit him with money otherwise he spends the money needed for bills.

Most of our arguments and fights have been about money. I've been bashing my head against a brick wall for a long time and I finally took matters into my own hands and found a solution that works for both of us and our family. We don't argue about money anymore.

My husband knows he can't handle money and spends well beyond his means, he never looks at prices, he never checks balances, he never shops around for the best price etc. Now he is finally giving up control to me, which did hurt his pride a lot (he is the provider so therefore he should be the one making all the financial decisions too) but ultimately he is mature enough to see that he is just no good at controlling our finances if we ever want to get ahead.

Bentley2718

1. How do you and your s.o. handle bank accounts?

At one credit union, we have separate checking and savings accounts, both of our names are on both sets of accounts, but one set is "mine" and one set is "his." The accounts are linked, so we can easily transfer money between them, but we do not do so without agreement (e.g. I pay all of the bills, and he transfers his portion of the bills to my account monthly). We also have checking and savings accounts at other banks from before we were together, although neither of us uses them much.

2. Are you currently married? If so, did marriage change your feelings about how you would handle money?

We set up joint accounts so we would qualify for domestic partner health benefits through my employer. However, I changed employers and the new employer had a much more restrictive domestic partner policy, so we got legally married so he could have health insurance. So basically not at all.

3. At what point in your relationship did you decide how you would deal with bank accounts?

When he needed health insurance.

4. Did you ever fight/disagree about your this?

No. I said, we need to do X to get you health insurance, he said, okay.

dsjohndrow

We have shared since we were married. We make most spending decision together, although it's been long enough where I just trust her.