Advice On Saying No?

stljam · November 2012

i go through this tree...

edits - finally got it resized...

oops should be Am I REALLY hungry?

petstorekitty · November 2012

^^ THIS ^^

I have trouble saying no. I'm learning moderation. my MOTIVATION for actually saying no when necessary is usually how my pants are fitting me at the moment. Logging that cookie or the fries keeps me on track.

junipearl · November 2012

I bring healthy snacks with me wherever I go so that if other people around me are eating, I can dig into my snacks and not feel pressured to take that cookie.

I also gave a guy at my work heck the other day because he is constantly bringing in candy and cookies and chips and putting them on my desk or offering them to me. The reason I gave him heck is because i am FINALLY saying no to these things, but when I say no he keeps PRESSING. So I snapped and said "hey, you might not know this but it actually takes a lot for me to say no so when I do, please take NO AS AN ANSWER and stop!"

junipearl · November 2012

And agreed with the moderation thing as well.

Last time the guy I snapped at offered me M&Ms, I took 3 and then made him put them away in his desk.
I got to satisfy my chocolate craving without ruining a good food day!

EmilyOfTheSun · November 2012

Don't say no all the time. Allow yourself treats once in a while just make sure it fits into your allotted calories for the day. Workout so you can eat more.

TheCaren · November 2012

^^^^^ THIS!

BridgetMiko · November 2012

One of the best things I've heard for when you're thinking, "Hey I had a bad day I deserve to splurge," is to remember that you do deserve to relax and be happy but your body doesn't deserve all those extra calories. I also try to remember how guilty I feel sometimes after indulging too much.

graceylou222 · November 2012

this!!

Countryboy_ · November 2012

\

I looked at my fata$$ naked in a mirror.

rosebudbutterfly · November 2012

LOVE IT!!!:laugh:

lorib75 · November 2012

PERFECT ADVICE! I will use this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:flowerforyou:

SarahCW1979 · November 2012

This ^^ Makes perfect sense :flowerforyou:

rosebudbutterfly · November 2012

AlsDonkBoxSquat · November 2012

Sounds like you use food as an emotional crutch, find a new crutch. I don't have "man it's been a crappy day" ice cream . . . I have "wow look at my macros, I can totally fit it in" ice cream. If you need to use food in a emotional way use it as a reward not as a way to lick your wounds.

As far as the office treats, that's the hardest for me, I'm good unless it's something with a wrapper. Someone else digging in the candy basket it like poop to flies . . . I just can't resist the sound. If it keeps going like this I'm going to start wearing ear phones so that I don't hear the tossing around of the candy in the basket.

CakeFit21 · November 2012

Repeat after me, "This looks delicious, but I'm training for (whatever) and this doesn't fit in my TRAINING plan."

If you say your training for something people don't bug you about it, but they WILL ask you what you're training for. So be sure and sign up for something.

castell5 · November 2012

Reality Therapy = "Are my actions helping or hurting the goal I set out to achieve?" Ask yourself that, each time you have a temptation and answer yourself honestly.

chubbygirl253 · November 2012

I don't have anyone who pushes food onto me as I see some people in the forums often struggle with. But the people around me do indulge in things. Sometimes I do, sometimes I decide I don't need it or I don't have the calories to spend on it. There is no fallout when I decline. No hurt feelings, no drama. I don't cry that they eat cookies around me and they don't guilt me into eating a piece of cake. If anything, its the opposite. Maybe they are worried my progress will backslide and they don't want it to be their cookies that are my downfall, lol.

mellowkate · November 2012

You don't necessarily have to say no. It's a question of "well, if I DO have this, what will the consequences be?" Either go over your daily calorie count (no bueno!), modify the rest of your meals that day (maybe skip the pasta with dinner), or be sure to stay at the gym a little longer.

For me, what I'm doing is not a diet. It's a lifestyle change. Yes, I measure out all of my portions for each meal I make myself (and sometimes get a funny look from a coworker in the kitchen pouring my cereal and milk into measuring cups). Yes, the actual foods I eat have changed vastly from where I was a few months ago. But yes, I still join my family in their "Friday is pizza night" ritual because I work damn hard to burn off the calories in said pizza so that I can enjoy it without guilt.

You have to allow yourself a treat once in a while. Otherwise, you will end up growing resentful of your plan, abandon it, and binge on crap that's unhealthy and gain all the weight back.

I know that it sounds cliche, but moderation is key. When possible, try to find lighter options, but in other cases, adapt. Birthday cupcakes for your coworker in the afternoon? Great, have half....or have a whole one and make sure you don't skip your Zumba class that day.

clytemnestra · November 2012

Make it a choice rather than a failure. You're not helplessly succumbing to an urge, you are choosing to gift yourself an allowable portion. Maybe just 1/2 a cookie, and leave the other half for a co-worker. Cutting things in half or taking a small "taste" often works well for me. Either I'll be able to fit it into my calorie plan, or, worst case scenario, I go over by may 100 calories...if if the worst thing you do that day is eat an extra 100 calories, that's not really a bad day. Certainly better than succumbing to the urge and gobbling down 500-1,000 calories before you even do the math.

Like most people, it's true that sometimes saying "a little" is better than saying "none" or "never." Small indulgences can be a simple way to stave off the desire/urge to binge.

mackzaj · November 2012

Exactly. Tell yourself this - it worked wonders for me. As someone who rewarded herself with food constantly, and as someone with a big yellow lab who laps up every food reward he can get his paws on, this really resonated.

I am not a dog. I do not reward myself with food.

At work, people announce if there is free stuff in the kitchen. I just don't go into the kitchen, or avert my eyes if I need water while there are free donuts or cookies or baked goods there. I also have 100-calorie snack packs at home (chocolate drizzled caramel popcorn? YUMMO!) and skinny cow ice cream cones. I keep accountable by knowing my boyfriend likes to come over and have one, so if I've had too many, someone knows! Everyone saying "try to find a way to fit a piece of chocolate (or whatever) into your day" is right. No need to deprive, fit it in, keep to your portion size.

vmekash · November 2012

^ This, this, this. You CAN partake, just be accountable for it. Enjoy!

Sparlingo · November 2012

Have you been making positive food choices that day? That week? Do you have the rest of your day planned out with nutritious food? Do you have room in your calorie count for the day? Are you actually hungry?

After answering all of these questions with "yes" I move on to the next question: Do I think this will be a 9/10 or 10/10 on the deliciousness scale?

If yes, enjoy a small piece! If no, move on. Not worth it!

FeliciaFitRNModel · November 2012

just eat it then you won't have to worry about telling yourself no.

MelisMusing · November 2012

No means no!

Just kidding. If you are refusing something someone is offering you, a polite no thanks should do. If you feel the need to quantify, you could always go the little white lie route, and add in a "I just ate and I am stuffed!" or a "not feeling so great" excuse. Or you could just be honest and tell them you're working really hard at being healthy and you're not doing treats.

The favorite in my house - 'I don't even LIKE Snickers" (or pizza, or anything else too tempting. We can talk ourselves into anything.

If you are saying no to yourself- go into the reasons why. You are worth more than momentary happiness. Your health is valuable to you. You have goals that you want to reach. You can do anything you set your mind to.

MelisMusing · November 2012

This, too. EXCELLENT advice!

kenazfehu · November 2012

I understand. I have a hard time with "no" also because I always sincerely want to help people when they ask favors of me. I finally had to come to grips with my own limitations. I can't be babysitting AND making political calls on Saturday afternoon, for example. After being taken advantage of once too often and a lot of practice, I can now say "no" to both.

I think I've always been able to say "no" to food I don't want (for whatever reason). Actually "no thank you" with a possible "no is my final decision" if pressured, even "what part of 'no' do you not understand?"

Good luck!

CJ_Holmes · November 2012

I can't do moderation with work treats. There are bowls of candy and donuts and cookies almost every day. I have to say "Never" UNLESS someone brings in something that is very rare. But the normal stuff lying around? If I have one, I have 10. Logging that stuff helps a bit. I hate to see my day go down the train cause I couldn't stop eating stupid tootsie rolls.

NCchar130 · November 2012

I allow it to make me angry then I use the anger to be obstinate LOL. This probably isn't the healthiest way of dealing with it, I know. But especially when it's coming from a coworker who has been snarking at me (backhanded compliments on my weight loss), I turn it down just on principle, even if I really want it and could fit it in my day, and I think "YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO SABOTAGE ME." Not taking it becomes, in my head, payback for the sabotage attempt. When I'm all alone and no one would know but me, same thing. I get mad at that other me in there who thinks she needs to eat and eat and use food as a reward or a comfort or whatever. Then I take my anger-fueled adrenaline rush to the gym and work it out.

I think this works because I've always tried hard to be myself and do my thing - pressure from friends, or even salespeople, is the best way to get me to do the exact opposite just because they're pressuring me.

teresa_c · November 2012

here is an article that helped me greatly reduce my intake of sweets. I re-read it whenever I start to slip into bad choices (like every month when the hormones kick in!)...if you have time, do read it...it really hits home what sugar does to our bodies...

http://zenhabits.net/beat-the-sugar-habit-3-steps-to-cut-sweets-mostly-out-of-your-life/

dorianaldyn · November 2012

I just stop and think and that usually helps boost my will power -

1. What will make me happier? A minute of enjoyment while I eat that cookie? Or seeing the scale go DOWN the next time I weigh myself?

2. Do I have room in my calorie "budget" for the day? If I don't have room, do I really feel like working out again that night?

3. Is that treat something I really love? My work tends to order this chocolate cake w/mocha frosting for birthdays. I'm so so on chocolate cake and hate anything coffee flavored ~ I could eat the cake part while avoiding the frosting and kind of enjoy it, or I can just skip it and only indulge when it's a dessert I really love - like a nice, chewy chocolate chip cookie or some apple pie. If I'm going to go over on calories, it better be WORTH it, you know?

4. Food because I "deserve" it - over feeding yourself is not rewarding yourself. You need to change that mindset ASAP or else you'll be fighting this battle forever. My reward of choice is fancy camera equipment because that's my hobby and I love it - but I can't really afford that -- so instead, I'll take a nice hot bath, read a book or watch something totally mindless on TV to escape. I'm a full time working mom of 2 toddlers - so at this point in my life, time to take care of myself or pursue my interests without distractions is quite a treat.

Mostly, though, when faced with a giant box of delicious donuts at work, I just stop and think. Will eating a donut make me happy? No, not really ~ any happiness would be fleeting at best. Skip it! I do have treats from time to time, I just fit them in my calorie budget for the day.

Advice On Saying No?

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