I seriously hate life..

JanaCanada

Frankly, we are ALL alone in this. We may have husbands and wives, parents and siblings, extended family and friends, all of whom support us...but after all is said and done, we only have ourselves to count on to to what it takes. No one can lose this weight FOR us.

Sure, it's nice to be encouraged by others who walk this journey, but when the computer gets shut off for the day, all you have is you...so you better be the best YOU that you can be. That means taking care of yourself spiritually and mentally as well as physically. No one is one dimensional...we have to nourish our souls as well as our bodies. If you think you may suffer from depression, then see your doctor. Lots of meds out there can help, many of which can help supress appetite and make your weight loss journey more bearable. Spiritually, you can join a church or, if you're not into religion, then volunteer at the homeless shelter or do something else that makes you feel good about yourself. Take up a new hobby. Go back to school or just take a night course. Pamper yourself...it's OK, you deserve it! Get a massage, facial, mani/pedi....whatever. You need to start making yourself a priority.

VorJoshigan

Congratulations! It sounds like you've discovered something that doesn't work. Believe it or not, this is a significant achievement. Cross it off the list and move on.

I recommend taking an Edison approach and trying something different. If you were doing weights, switch to cardio. If you were doing weights & cardio, switch to sprints. If you were doing low-cal, switch to low-carb or low-fat.

Maybe YOU are not the problem? Maybe you just need to try something different.

Vonwarr

What some of the other posters are saying regarding depression could be a concern. It's hard to be physically "there" if you are dealing with your mind. It can take a lot of energy.

Your diary is closed... I know you're just venting but if you want some real advice and not just patronizing platitudes, open it up. Judging from your 6 month loss you're trying to lose 2 lbs a week... Here are some serious questions to consider:

What kind of caloric deficit are you trying establish? Trying to lose super fast for long long periods of time will end up with you struggling against yourself. Did you try eating at maintenance (for your current weight) for a week or two to reset your metabolism before attempting to lose more? It can also be a mental break from the grind of dieting.

Sometimes taking a break from the loss is the best way to proceed. How is your protein intake? are you getting enough dietary fats? Both protein and fat are important to feeling satiety, to help you feel full for longer. If you're eating a lot of carbs, they can in some cases make you feel hungrier as your body burns through them.

Just some thoughts. Great job so far, but try to use your willpower to keep your motivation up. Maybe give this article a read http://www.builtlean.com/2012/10/15/willpower/

Best of luck!

Pixi_Rex

Quit... if this is so damn hard quit... and when you come back gaining back the 49 pounds you have already lost back you can make a post about how horrible it is to have to start over because you gave up.

No one ever said weightloss is fun, or easy or anything like that. Frankly it sucks at times - especially if the scale gets stuck. Only you can make you do this, no one else can it sounds like you are tired of doing this so switch it up, if you want to eat the foods you love do so - I sure due but when I am done cooking it I portion it out into single portions and what I am not going to eat goes right in the freezer - cookies, cakes etc are all like this even my regular meals. If I want chips i buy the small bags, chocolate bars I eat them too I save the chips and chocolate bars for weekends, and ONLY if I have behaved myself all week (its a reward of sorts) if I have been horrible and eaten over my calories every day there is no chocolate bar waiting for me on saturday because I sure don't deserve it (this is what works for me).

collingmommy

I dont lecture ppl.. Put on ur big girl bloomers and either find motivation and get off your *kitten* and do something about y ur depressed, or sit and mope around. Its ur choice. But to loose 48 lbs, that takes lots of motovation. So u probaly have it in u. Just tap into it.

L00py_T0ucan

No lectures from me.

You've already lost a lot of weight! Keep going! I agree w/ some of the others that maybe you should see a doctor about your depression. Or maybe you've been doing this for awhile and there's some burnout/boredom. Keep it fun, but above all,
BE KIND TO YOURSELF. :flowerforyou: Good luck. You are not alone.

MissSusieQ

Hi Krista,
Interestingly, I just read a chapter tonight from the book "Willpower" by Roy Buameister and John Tierney that talked about how self control and glucose levels are related. It talked specifically (in Chapter 3) about PMS and the "luteal" phase, where a woman needs enough calories to make up for a loss of energy that is directed to the female reproductive system. So, along with everything else PMS can bring (mood swings, irrational actions and thoughts, etc....), there is a craving for more food often times--which conflicts with the desire to lose weight. The books suggests that women do not get enough calories during this time. (PMS = Pass me sweets).
Anyway, you may have been using "PMSing" to describe how you are feeling overall--not just certain times. (What would I know--I'm a guy). But I thought it may be helpful to point out that you may be dealing with a need for more glucose at certain times, and more calories just at the time you feel the worst. It also talked about how fruits, nuts and vegetables will provide a more longer lasting and steady energy burn as they are "low glycemic" foods.
Hang in there!
Bill

ermagherd. a boy who speaks period. woot!

seriously, great, interesting response!

kel665

You've lost 46 pounds, I certainly wouldn't call that a failure! I still have a hell of a lot of hard work to do to lose that much, I can't wait until I can get on here and say I've lost 46 pounds, I reckon I will be very proud of myself, as you should be!

Aello11

everyone gets in that frame of mind once in a while (especially with the "holidays" approaching) --- no one here can do it for you ... Only you can make the decision to continue - I hope you do you have made progress all ready. Remember why you are doing this AND DO IT. Living life is hard quitting is easy --- which will you choose?

LizL217

Here's what I suggest to remind yourself of why it's worth keeping at it:

Do something nice for yourself (get a haircut, facial, etc.) and put on your favorite outfit. Take a picture of yourself.

Now compare that picture to one taken before you started losing weight.

Think about everything you can do now that you couldn't do before... the distance you can run, the weight you can lift, the stairs you can climb... think about the fact that you're not just losing weight, you are making your body stronger and faster and more efficient.

If you still feel like none of the effort is worth it and you still hate life, go talk to a doctor about it. You have a lot to be proud of, and losing sight of that would be folly.

paradise_runs

I have honestly, the perfect solution! Hear me out --
So, I had hit my top weight in January 2012. I ended up losing 20 lbs by a change in eating. But of course, fell off and gained it right back! In August I was introduced to some people who are passionate about creating a healthy change for people. They asked me to join a challenge group via facebook - completely online based - where I would track my exercise and eating EVERY DAY. I had a team of people behind me and the support was absolutely unbelievable!! Since, I have lost 25" doing P90X and using MFP. And I have become a beachbody coach (makes of P90X, Insanity, Etc). If this is something you could be interested, please feel free to contact me on here and I can set you up in my challenge group on facebook for the extra support, motivation, tips, laughs, etc.!!
I was once at a dead end, just felt so depressed and like I couldn't control my own life. This challenge group sincerely changed my life.

fraser112

I have had so much success for the first 6 months and its almost like i have been bumped off the wagon and it sped off, because i can't seem to get back on it anymore. I try so hard to stick to the goal and before i know it those calories are gone and im over, every day ive been over. im so tired of doing this alone, with no one really there to motivate me. I feel like such a failure. Im so depressed. its so much pressure to lose weight and im PMSing and it feels like every bite i put in my mouth its just vaporizing, I cant seem to feel satisfied anymore. I go to the gym and i dont feel like im making a bit of difference and everyone around me just eats whatever they want. And even small amounts seems to add up in calories before i know it.

I dont even know why im venting here because all thats going to end up happening is people are going to tell me just to keep trying. All the same redundant speeches they give everyone else. i fail and am alone with everything else in life, why not this too.

You have bigger issues than we can address i think you need to talk to someone as these feelings all stem from something else and no amount of weight loss/anti depressents or support will fix it only mask it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnC_VsEcFiM&feature=channel&list=UL

cebreisch

Going through the EXACT same thing myself. DId so great for the first year to 15 months, and suddently, it's as if I wasn't happy just falling off the wagon, but had to get in front of it and let it hit and roll over me a few times too!! It's so hard not to let those feelings overtake you. I just went through 3 weeks of BLECK....had my grandfather pass away on my daughters birthday, and had 3 birthdays in the last 2 weeks with cake and halloween candy and all going on. Yes, my weight loss efforts suffered, and it seemed like I was always hungry...Part of that had to be stress taking it's toll, because I usually eat when I'm stressed - well, truthfully I can eat for any occasion - happy, sad, tired, bored, it's raining, it's pouring, we're in a drought, hey was that snow? and THAT GUY JUST CUT ME OFF! and NOW, next week is Thanksgiving - lest we forget all the Christmas candy that's ALREADY in the stores!! UGH!!

As it says in "don't sweat the small stuff" - make peace with imperfection. It always seems like the more perfect I try to be, the more easily and the more faster I get derailed. Know that it's going to happen and try to get back on track without beating yourself up about it.

It's all about taking more steps in the right direction than not - but don't forget the "2steps forward 1 step back" - it's part of the human condition to not be perfectly perfect - but we can still get there!!!

Yesterday was my other daughters birthday, and she asked for cupcakes instead of a cake. I went to the bakery and got 4 cupcakes, 1 for each family member. I knew I was going to have a cupcake, and tried very hard to just enjoy the moment. I actually did so much so to the point I remembered, "Ah yes, this is a big part of the reason I'm on this journey."

And yes, it would help to get a therapist or counselor. I've had one since I started this journey, and he's had gastric bypass surgery so it isn't as if he doesn't understand what I'm going through. I never would have thought it would help, but it really has helped a lot.

Good luck! And you can do it!!!

IronDame

I dont even know why im venting here because all thats going to end up happening is people are going to tell me just to keep trying. All the same redundant speeches they give everyone else. i fail and am alone with everything else in life, why not this too.

Well I won't give you the same redundant speech. Only YOU can make this change, YOU have to want it bad enough. No one is going to make up get up off your butt and put into the work, but YOU. Stop whining and work on making a difference in your life. Or just give up if that is what you want to do. You have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired in order to make a full blown change. Either go for it or give up.

hdjjones

If you still have some clothes you wore when you were 46 lbs heavier (which you really shouldn't-get rid of them, your not going to ever need them again) anyway, if you do still have some, put them on. Do you really want to go back to wearing those clothes in that size?
Find some people who will support you, in person, not on a website, like at a weight loss class or maybe just a couple friends to confide in. Share with them, support each other, not just on weight issues, but life (all kinds of issues people have).
And finally, wake up in the morning and take a look in the mirror. Tell yourself how much you love you. Then smile and smile all day. Smile at people you don't even know.