Stay At Home Mom SUPER Discouraged

MelissaOnPurpose

Hey all! I need help...Seriously! I am reaching out, which is super hard to do. I am a SAHM, 35, and about 100 lbs overweight. I am tired of starting ever Monday, etc. I am just tired, period. I say I'm going to do ALL of these things and I may start them but I never ever FINISH them. HELP! Do you struggle with the same things? I want to do these things:

Work on a monthly, weekly, daily plan.
Eat 5-6 small meals/day, every 2-3 hours.
Work out according to my planned schedule.
Schedule things and stick to them!
ETC!

If you've been wanting to do this kind of stuff as well, PLEASE let me know and we can talk. We could Skype, Face Time, email, FB msg, msg on here, text one another, talk on the phone, etc. I need accountability the most, I think. I just really wanna do some soul searching and work on goals and I wanna work with someone else on this! Anyone?

Candysland2013

Ur mormethan welcome to add me .. I'm a stay at home mom too

crazyellybean

You can do it!! Start with small goals and work yourself up... you don't want to overwhelm yourself with too many goals at first so that you give up.. if you just say to yourself "If I get 15 minutes in today, than I will be happy" you can work up from there!!


MFP is a great place to find support and motivation.. whenever your feeling discouraged come back and look at the Success forums!!


You go it!!

xo_Sarah_xo

Just don't make things too complicated or strict as the first time you go off the rails a little bit you will feel a sense of failure and spiral even more downward. My advice is to just take it minute by minute, meal by meal, day by day, workout by workout and pound by pound. You WILL get there. it is NOT a sprint - it is a marathon and pacing yourself and picking yourself up after a small mis-step is the key.

Friend request me if you wish - just know that I have no strict schedules or eating plans but I do have success so far.

Flab2fitfi

Hi

Start by making small changes - try and do just one of these things for the first week and then slowly increase the list.

Often doing too much to soon can lead to burn out and getting down.

If you want to fr me please feel welcome - the last few weeks I've been struggling with trying to stay motivated too.

lncgurley

Hi Melissa!I just recently found my stride and would love to support you..friend me if you want. I lost 160lbs previously, didn't handle stress well, gained 60 back and am on my way back down. I know you can do this, and would love to encourae you and be encouraged by your enthusiasm!

ccckwalk

i love adding other mommies! I am a stay at home mom. I am on here everyday and would love to friend you. You can totally do this! Log your food, start burning some calories and have fun with it. We will keep doing things that we love doing. You love walking...walk it up. If you enjoy jumping jacks do a couple reps 5 times a day. Just find things that make you happy and do them as much as possible.
I hope you have a great Monday~Corina

Angie_1991

You can do it....first of all...your diary is empty...don''t buy the junk food....friend me if you like.....

broomykm

The mantra that I repeat to myself every morning when I get up, every time I am tempted to eat junk food, every time I am tempted to skip the treadmill...ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is today, I don't look past today very often, usually just once a week on weigh day. Today is so much easier to control. Today, I will stick to my calorie goals, today I will work out. I tell myself that if I have a good day today, tomorrow I can have a treat. Or if I have a bad day I keep telling myself it is only one day, one day doesn't undo everything. I can get back on track tomorrow. Controlling your life one day at a time makes it an achievable goal, and you will be surprised to find that one day down the road it will be easier and you will start to see the rewards and benefits. Good luck to you!

Barbellerella

Just want to add in my2c. Its not necessary for you to eat every 2-3 hours for you to be successful. Sometimes eating all throughout the day can be a problem for people because you are always obsessing about food throughout the day. Just make sure to stick to your calorie goal for the day, and eat when your hungry.

I also believe the protein goal MFP sets for you is too low for most people, especially if you are working out. You might want to consider changing your macro settings to something like 40/30/30 and see how you do with that.

It sounds like you give yourself at lot of rules and plan a lot, but you are often setting yourself up for "failure" mentality when you don't stick to your rules and stray off your plan. How bout you simplify things this time, Just stick to your calorie goal, and try to get in some activity everyday. Its really as simple as that! Good luck to you.

maureen173

You can inbox me...I totally know how you're feeling! We could support each other.

sweetteacher123

You have great goals! I would try just adding one at a time. Start with exercise. Make the time to exercise five days a week for one month. Then add in the good eating. You will probably find after you make a habit of exercising, the healthy eating will be much easier. Don't overwhelm yourself at first. That's when people quit! You've already written the goals; that's the first step.

tinlee

Start with one small goal that's pretty easy: Log every meal every day.

Don't try to eat a perfect diet or workout for 2 hours. Just start logging your food. After a couple of weeks of just doing that you'll easily see your foods that are your problem areas and see how you can make small changes that you can live with.

kmee1959

Please don't over schedule yourself. With children, you have to be able to switch things up or you will just give up. I started with just logging my meals - realized that I didn't eat enough and was in starvation mode. Once I ate better (more) I felt better and the weight just started falling off. I started doing zumba with my daughter and I LOVE it. You need to start slow and increase as you feel able to - push yourself, but not too hard and increase when you feel like you can. You can do this and as you increase the time you spend on "you", you will feel different about you and realize that you deserve it! Bottom line, just keep moving and when you feel like you have to stop, do five more minutes....talk yourself through it. If you have an urge to eat something - wait 15 minutes and if you still have to have it - have it and don't beat yourself up about it! Chocolate is a favorite of mine and I do eat it, but realized that skinnycow has awesome chocolates ! Good luck and remember YOU ARE WORTH IT AND A HAPPY-HEALTHY MOMMY MAKES A HAPPY-HEALTHY FAMILY

mercymarque

I'm not a stay at home mom... It's tough being a mom and finding a balance. My best advice and some of the things that have worked for me is planing. I plan my meals for the next day the day before. I enter them into the data base to see where I fall and where I can make adjustments. I eat small meals. An example of what I do follows. This works for me may not work for everyone

glass of water before meal
BREKFAST: fist size fruit usually an apple, pear or grapefruit
small bowl of oatmeal or 2 egg whites or 1 egg omelet with veggies
1 cup glass of grapefruit, apple or OJ
glass of water during

snack 150 cal or less (no cake, cookies or candy)

Meal 2 Fruit smoothie, protein shake or small bowl of soup (no potatoes, no cream sauces) make sure sodium for either of the choices is no more than 480 mg per serving

snack 100 cal or less

meal 3 medium gard salad (only 3 tbsp of fat free dressing, no bacon bits or croutons)

meal 4 5 oz chicken, fish or turkey (no frying) plus two serving of veggies

snack 100 cal

Drink plenty of water, log everything you put in your mouth, every seasoning you use, get your rest, and exercise.

I hope this helps

amberecochran

Honey, honey, honey..... you are putiing entirely too much pressure on yourself! Best advice I can give anyone is start small and add as you go. I could plan plan plan all day long, but if I never do it or if something comes up (like a sick child or a migraine), then I may not be able to do what I planned. Take it one day at a time. With anything, really. Plan for the day, at first, and see how that works. I make a list everyday and check things off as I go. When the day is over and I haven't been able to do all of those things, I simply say I'll do it tomorrow. As far as meal planning goes.... I will purchase all the food I will need to prepare meals for the week but in reality, I don't always fix the meals I planned, that doesn't mean that the food I do fix isn't healthy. You can do this! If you can't get your workout in that day, take a walk that evening with your son. Be a little flexible. And, by all means, text, fb, or message me if you need encouragement or ideas. We all need someone to talk to, even if it's just an idea for dinner, you know?

amberecochran

The mantra that I repeat to myself every morning when I get up, every time I am tempted to eat junk food, every time I am tempted to skip the treadmill...ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is today, I don't look past today very often, usually just once a week on weigh day. Today is so much easier to control. Today, I will stick to my calorie goals, today I will work out. I tell myself that if I have a good day today, tomorrow I can have a treat. Or if I have a bad day I keep telling myself it is only one day, one day doesn't undo everything. I can get back on track tomorrow. Controlling your life one day at a time makes it an achievable goal, and you will be surprised to find that one day down the road it will be easier and you will start to see the rewards and benefits. Good luck to you!

Exactly!!!!

yoovie

You need self discipline and a better idea of what youre getting into more than you need facebook friends that are also dieting.

Taking control of your fate is not about getting a bunch of people to talk about it with, its about coming up with an educated plan and proving you can stick to it. Talking and supporting and leaning on each other is wonderful and nice- but this is something you have to realize that you are ultimately doing alone.

We all are.

Which is why is the greatest success we'll have. Cause we are proving to ourselves that we have what it takes to change our lives.

START CHANGING IT NOW. Stop talking, actions speak louder than words!

Brianna72994

I'm not a SAHM, but I am a stay at home sister, lol. I watch my 3 year old brother and 6 month old sister all day during the week, so I understand what you are talking about. Feel free to add me if you'd like

d_Mode

Stay-at-home-Dad with Type 2 diabetes. I know how you feel. I just take it day by day, one step at a time. I've found that making small goals helps.

One a good note...it's been 2 years since I was diagnosed and I was finally able to get off my insulin, 3 weeks ago by making adjustments to my eating habits and through mild exercise.

I'm on a 1700 calorie diet, although I pretty much eat what I want and just keep track of my carbs. I started out by taking my 20-month-old son and dachshund Mia, for walk around the neighborhood. Now that the weather is getting cool I hit the gym.

Good luck!

cathomer

I have the exact same problem, it's so hard, the stress eating is really bad, and just not really having anything to keep you focussed, every day just seems like a blur.

You can do it though, put up motivational quotes in your kitchen, reminders to drink more water etc.

See if you can find some local people to go running with, that's what I did, put a notice on a web board and had two people reply, now there are 6 of us who running regularly. I haven't been so good at going lately, but I'm back out tonight and hope to carry on.

sarahrbraun

Hey all! I need help...Seriously! I am reaching out, which is super hard to do. I am a SAHM, 35, and about 100 lbs overweight. I am tired of starting ever Monday, etc. I am just tired, period. I say I'm going to do ALL of these things and I may start them but I never ever FINISH them. HELP! Do you struggle with the same things? I want to do these things:

Work on a monthly, weekly, daily plan.
Eat 5-6 small meals/day, every 2-3 hours.
Work out according to my planned schedule.
Schedule things and stick to them!
ETC!

If you've been wanting to do this kind of stuff as well, PLEASE let me know and we can talk. We could Skype, Face Time, email, FB msg, msg on here, text one another, talk on the phone, etc. I need accountability the most, I think. I just really wanna do some soul searching and work on goals and I wanna work with someone else on this! Anyone?

You just typed my story...earlier this year I hit my all time high of 228.4lbs. That is a TON on my 5'2" frame.

I had been asking my husband for several years for a Y membership so I could get into shape. I finally threw a big enough fit that he agreed to pay for a 1 year family membership. I knew that if I slacked off, I would never hear the end of it. So for the last 9-10 months I have gone to the gym 3-4x a week.

I have only lost 32lbs, but my body has changed SO much. Just in the last month, I started using *real* weights, and I can now leg press 16lbs MORE than I weigh. I can only squat 65#, but I am hoping to get to 100lbs by Christmas.

ETA: it doesn't sound like it could be true, but if you get into a workout routine, you may find you have MORE energy. Have you ever heard about a 'runners high'? it is where runners get a 'high' from the endorphins, etc that are released when they run. I'm not sure I have ever totally hit it...but I do know that I went from hating the treadmill to getting a little twitchy if I have to miss it. Once I started doing some weights, I REALLY got hooked. I am having to slow myself down so I don't hurt myself. I really really want to buy some personal training sessions, but I don't have the cash...so I quietly drool when I see the other ladies get to work with the cute young trainer.

klamarius

Hi there! I am a SAHM mom of 3 children so I completely understand how you feel. It is SO easy to get discouraged when your day just doesn't go as planned! Between hectic mornings getting the kids to school, hectic afternoons chasing my 2-yr-old around, and crazy afternoons when the older 2 get home, some days it is all I can do to keep my sanity!!! And don't get me started on homework......lol.

I have found that what works for me is keeping my goal in mind. WHY am I doing this? I ask myself that all the time, when I just don't feel like eating right/working out. I think about how I want to look, how healthy I want to be and the example I want to set for others.

Also, taking small steps is the key. If you try to overhaul EVERYTHING at once (diet, exercise, etc.), it just gets to be too overwhelming, IMO. The first thing I changed (and am still working on, lol) was my eating habits. I LOVE salty food way too much and sodium affects my body like nobody's business!!! I cut my portions in half - this way, I can have the things I crave and still be sensible about it. Portion control and weighing out my food have helped tremendously. If I try to cut out all "bad" things, I just want them that much more. Look at the serving size on whatever you buy. I count out crackers, weigh chips, measure milk, cut my carb intake a bit - all these things have worked for me. I am a freak about reading labels now!! I also try to get plenty of protein, through chicken, salmon, tuna, cottage cheese, pb, etc. It takes time and patience but you CAN do this.

Good luck to you. Add me if you'd like. I don't know everything - only what has worked for me - but I love supporting others in their journeys!

nerdlyness

I started out 189 pounds overweight. Looking at that number is daunting and overwhelming. The amount of times I quit because I might have made a mistake or felt guilty about something that I ate made feel like "what's the point" and I would quit shortly thereafter.

I have lost 96 pounds so far and I still have a way to go, but I don't set large goals for myself anymore, it's too overwhelming. I take it day by day and set 10 pounds goals for myself instead.

You sound like you are taking on too much and sabotaging yourself in the process. Set a mini goal for yourself like " I want to lose 5 pounds this month" or " I want to work out 4 days this week." Don't go big and don't ruin all the hard work you've already put in.

Remember, you are worth the effort and the time!

kenazfehu

When I was a SAHM with young children, I got most of my exercise from playing with them. Children behave, eat, and sleep much better if they have a lot of activity, so we were outside riding bikes, playing crazy running around games, or going swimming or skating. I had no fear of looking foolish to other adults, so I played soldier with the boys and dress-up with the girls until they got too old to play with me. Sigh ......... now I have to go to the gym.

Anyway, become an activity director for your children. Then get them to help you with chores. All kids who came to my house for overnights helped with chores; that was the price for me feeding them and taking them to the park, swimming, skating, etc. My house was popular, so I had lots of helping hands.

I am the kind of person who is occasionally seized by motivation and momentum, and I always go with it. If you aren't, make progressive changes. I suggest the first change be that you log in here and account for every bite that you put into your mouth. And remember - it's much easier to keep track of what you're eating if you sit down for meals and snacks. One thing I had to do is quit grazing. I have to actually put together a meal and sit down with it now. That's a very good thing to do for young children too. They thrive on routine. So at least plan out the times for meals and snacks. Of course you have to be flexible with children, but at least have a schedule to start with.

nzenczak

I know we're already workout buddies, but I suffer from the same exact issues that you do. I'm all about skyping and working together to set and reach our goals. Maybe we can motivate each other AND hold each other accountable.

MelissaOnPurpose

Start with one small goal that's pretty easy: Log every meal every day.

Don't try to eat a perfect diet or workout for 2 hours. Just start logging your food. After a couple of weeks of just doing that you'll easily see your foods that are your problem areas and see how you can make small changes that you can live with.

This scares me! I have a problem tracking my bad moments (or days). Maybe that's definitely where I need to start. Just do it! Be completely honest and take the help (& opinions) that's offered. Right?

MelissaOnPurpose

I know we're already workout buddies, but I suffer from the same exact issues that you do. I'm all about skyping and working together to set and reach our goals. Maybe we can motivate each other AND hold each other accountable.

Okay girl...Let's do it! I hate looking at myself on Skype but maybe I need to do that every day so I see that I'm okay and that I need to press on/forward. Do you have Skype on your computer? Web cam? Microphone?

gerripho

The mantra that I repeat to myself every morning when I get up, every time I am tempted to eat junk food, every time I am tempted to skip the treadmill...ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is today, I don't look past today very often, usually just once a week on weigh day. Today is so much easier to control. Today, I will stick to my calorie goals, today I will work out. I tell myself that if I have a good day today, tomorrow I can have a treat. Or if I have a bad day I keep telling myself it is only one day, one day doesn't undo everything. I can get back on track tomorrow. Controlling your life one day at a time makes it an achievable goal, and you will be surprised to find that one day down the road it will be easier and you will start to see the rewards and benefits. Good luck to you!

^^^^ THIS ^^^^ I really needed to read this today for myself, too. And for the OP, read this over several times and take it to heart. Make this yours and you will do fine. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one success at a time.

tropicalzephyr

You just typed my story...earlier this year I hit my all time high of 228.4lbs. That is a TON on my 5'2" frame.
I have only lost 32lbs, but my body has changed SO much. Just in the last month, I started using *real* weights, and I can now leg press 16lbs MORE than I weigh. I can only squat 65#, but I am hoping to get to 100lbs by Christmas.

I completely agree with you here - start SMALL, in fact SUPER SMALL.

I have been at MFP since last year and would just give up after some time counting calories. After one year I figured, diet was not the way for me. I CANNOT survive on a 1200 cal diet. I just can't. I can't even log food - I hate that.

Then this time around, I said, forget the calories, I want to be able to walk without losing my breath at least or turn in my car without feeling so creaky. Heck, I am 27 and felt like my body was that of a 55 year old. And I am a medical doctor, and after dealing with patients there was no way I wanted to end up with co-morbids by the time I hit 40!

I thought it starts now or never.

So I have worked out 4-5 times a week since August 2012, anywhere between 30 min and 1 hr 30 mins depending on if I need to catch up on my strength training.

Three months later in November, I can cycle for 45 mins at 27-30km/hr, without getting exhausted. I can walk 6 km in 1 hr with ease. I can do p90 cardio and fat burner workouts back to back with ease.

I started the 30DS but left it - I like going through my moves entirely, and with 30DS I felt I could not concentrate on the form. Mind you, I was not sore after doing 4 days of it because my body could take it.

I am 5 feet 1 inch, 64.5 kgs (around 144 pounds), and am definitely over-weight bordering on obese given my petite frame.

Have I lost weight? Nope. Just a fluctuation of 3-4 kgs here and there.

I am a voracious eater, and eat 1800 to 2000 cals on an average day. so I am guessing it's all being maintained.. But have I gained weight, nope again.

But I have stopped looking at the scales. Not worth it.

My butt has shrunk from 45 inches to 41 inches (I am naturally pear shaped and even when I was 47 kgs had a 36 inch butt), and it no longer sticks out in that ugly manner. It's round and smooth, and I do admire it. I have lost inches from my stomach, my thighs - I can fit into jeans and tights that I could not pull up half way through my thighs.

But what I am most proud of is the immense stamina I have, my movements require less effort, I don't lose energy over simple tasks, I feel my body has a RHYTHM!!!

So my advice to you, start moving. As simple as getting out of your home, and walking round the block. Do it for 20 mins, and then increase the time by 10 mins every day. Add an easy on the knees pilates workout, I have this video which has a 20 min pilates warm up, I did that before walking.

Do not do high-impact exercises if you haven't moved for the longest while. It will be discouraging.

Most of all, take out time for yourself. If you don't love yourself, no one else will. I know I am still not perfect, if someone else had been logging their food and eating clean, they would have lost 10-15 kgs with the amount of effort I put in. But you know what I stopped comparing myself to them. I am happy with what I have.

athenaheim

Hello I am Athena and a single mother to two kids and work 1 full time job and 2 part time. I make time to workout. I would be more then happy to be friends and encouraging to you. I will send an add. Anyone can feel free to add me.