Stay At Home Mom SUPER Discouraged

sarahrbraun

Hey all! I need help...Seriously! I am reaching out, which is super hard to do. I am a SAHM, 35, and about 100 lbs overweight. I am tired of starting ever Monday, etc. I am just tired, period. I say I'm going to do ALL of these things and I may start them but I never ever FINISH them. HELP! Do you struggle with the same things? I want to do these things:

Work on a monthly, weekly, daily plan.
Eat 5-6 small meals/day, every 2-3 hours.
Work out according to my planned schedule.
Schedule things and stick to them!
ETC!

If you've been wanting to do this kind of stuff as well, PLEASE let me know and we can talk. We could Skype, Face Time, email, FB msg, msg on here, text one another, talk on the phone, etc. I need accountability the most, I think. I just really wanna do some soul searching and work on goals and I wanna work with someone else on this! Anyone?

You just typed my story...earlier this year I hit my all time high of 228.4lbs. That is a TON on my 5'2" frame.

I had been asking my husband for several years for a Y membership so I could get into shape. I finally threw a big enough fit that he agreed to pay for a 1 year family membership. I knew that if I slacked off, I would never hear the end of it. So for the last 9-10 months I have gone to the gym 3-4x a week.

I have only lost 32lbs, but my body has changed SO much. Just in the last month, I started using *real* weights, and I can now leg press 16lbs MORE than I weigh. I can only squat 65#, but I am hoping to get to 100lbs by Christmas.

ETA: it doesn't sound like it could be true, but if you get into a workout routine, you may find you have MORE energy. Have you ever heard about a 'runners high'? it is where runners get a 'high' from the endorphins, etc that are released when they run. I'm not sure I have ever totally hit it...but I do know that I went from hating the treadmill to getting a little twitchy if I have to miss it. Once I started doing some weights, I REALLY got hooked. I am having to slow myself down so I don't hurt myself. I really really want to buy some personal training sessions, but I don't have the cash...so I quietly drool when I see the other ladies get to work with the cute young trainer.

klamarius

Hi there! I am a SAHM mom of 3 children so I completely understand how you feel. It is SO easy to get discouraged when your day just doesn't go as planned! Between hectic mornings getting the kids to school, hectic afternoons chasing my 2-yr-old around, and crazy afternoons when the older 2 get home, some days it is all I can do to keep my sanity!!! And don't get me started on homework......lol.

I have found that what works for me is keeping my goal in mind. WHY am I doing this? I ask myself that all the time, when I just don't feel like eating right/working out. I think about how I want to look, how healthy I want to be and the example I want to set for others.

Also, taking small steps is the key. If you try to overhaul EVERYTHING at once (diet, exercise, etc.), it just gets to be too overwhelming, IMO. The first thing I changed (and am still working on, lol) was my eating habits. I LOVE salty food way too much and sodium affects my body like nobody's business!!! I cut my portions in half - this way, I can have the things I crave and still be sensible about it. Portion control and weighing out my food have helped tremendously. If I try to cut out all "bad" things, I just want them that much more. Look at the serving size on whatever you buy. I count out crackers, weigh chips, measure milk, cut my carb intake a bit - all these things have worked for me. I am a freak about reading labels now!! I also try to get plenty of protein, through chicken, salmon, tuna, cottage cheese, pb, etc. It takes time and patience but you CAN do this.

Good luck to you. Add me if you'd like. I don't know everything - only what has worked for me - but I love supporting others in their journeys!

nerdlyness

I started out 189 pounds overweight. Looking at that number is daunting and overwhelming. The amount of times I quit because I might have made a mistake or felt guilty about something that I ate made feel like "what's the point" and I would quit shortly thereafter.

I have lost 96 pounds so far and I still have a way to go, but I don't set large goals for myself anymore, it's too overwhelming. I take it day by day and set 10 pounds goals for myself instead.

You sound like you are taking on too much and sabotaging yourself in the process. Set a mini goal for yourself like " I want to lose 5 pounds this month" or " I want to work out 4 days this week." Don't go big and don't ruin all the hard work you've already put in.

Remember, you are worth the effort and the time!

kenazfehu

When I was a SAHM with young children, I got most of my exercise from playing with them. Children behave, eat, and sleep much better if they have a lot of activity, so we were outside riding bikes, playing crazy running around games, or going swimming or skating. I had no fear of looking foolish to other adults, so I played soldier with the boys and dress-up with the girls until they got too old to play with me. Sigh ......... now I have to go to the gym.

Anyway, become an activity director for your children. Then get them to help you with chores. All kids who came to my house for overnights helped with chores; that was the price for me feeding them and taking them to the park, swimming, skating, etc. My house was popular, so I had lots of helping hands.

I am the kind of person who is occasionally seized by motivation and momentum, and I always go with it. If you aren't, make progressive changes. I suggest the first change be that you log in here and account for every bite that you put into your mouth. And remember - it's much easier to keep track of what you're eating if you sit down for meals and snacks. One thing I had to do is quit grazing. I have to actually put together a meal and sit down with it now. That's a very good thing to do for young children too. They thrive on routine. So at least plan out the times for meals and snacks. Of course you have to be flexible with children, but at least have a schedule to start with.

nzenczak

I know we're already workout buddies, but I suffer from the same exact issues that you do. I'm all about skyping and working together to set and reach our goals. Maybe we can motivate each other AND hold each other accountable.

MelissaOnPurpose

Start with one small goal that's pretty easy: Log every meal every day.

Don't try to eat a perfect diet or workout for 2 hours. Just start logging your food. After a couple of weeks of just doing that you'll easily see your foods that are your problem areas and see how you can make small changes that you can live with.

This scares me! I have a problem tracking my bad moments (or days). Maybe that's definitely where I need to start. Just do it! Be completely honest and take the help (& opinions) that's offered. Right?

MelissaOnPurpose

I know we're already workout buddies, but I suffer from the same exact issues that you do. I'm all about skyping and working together to set and reach our goals. Maybe we can motivate each other AND hold each other accountable.

Okay girl...Let's do it! I hate looking at myself on Skype but maybe I need to do that every day so I see that I'm okay and that I need to press on/forward. Do you have Skype on your computer? Web cam? Microphone?

gerripho

The mantra that I repeat to myself every morning when I get up, every time I am tempted to eat junk food, every time I am tempted to skip the treadmill...ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is today, I don't look past today very often, usually just once a week on weigh day. Today is so much easier to control. Today, I will stick to my calorie goals, today I will work out. I tell myself that if I have a good day today, tomorrow I can have a treat. Or if I have a bad day I keep telling myself it is only one day, one day doesn't undo everything. I can get back on track tomorrow. Controlling your life one day at a time makes it an achievable goal, and you will be surprised to find that one day down the road it will be easier and you will start to see the rewards and benefits. Good luck to you!

^^^^ THIS ^^^^ I really needed to read this today for myself, too. And for the OP, read this over several times and take it to heart. Make this yours and you will do fine. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one success at a time.

tropicalzephyr

You just typed my story...earlier this year I hit my all time high of 228.4lbs. That is a TON on my 5'2" frame.
I have only lost 32lbs, but my body has changed SO much. Just in the last month, I started using *real* weights, and I can now leg press 16lbs MORE than I weigh. I can only squat 65#, but I am hoping to get to 100lbs by Christmas.

I completely agree with you here - start SMALL, in fact SUPER SMALL.

I have been at MFP since last year and would just give up after some time counting calories. After one year I figured, diet was not the way for me. I CANNOT survive on a 1200 cal diet. I just can't. I can't even log food - I hate that.

Then this time around, I said, forget the calories, I want to be able to walk without losing my breath at least or turn in my car without feeling so creaky. Heck, I am 27 and felt like my body was that of a 55 year old. And I am a medical doctor, and after dealing with patients there was no way I wanted to end up with co-morbids by the time I hit 40!

I thought it starts now or never.

So I have worked out 4-5 times a week since August 2012, anywhere between 30 min and 1 hr 30 mins depending on if I need to catch up on my strength training.

Three months later in November, I can cycle for 45 mins at 27-30km/hr, without getting exhausted. I can walk 6 km in 1 hr with ease. I can do p90 cardio and fat burner workouts back to back with ease.

I started the 30DS but left it - I like going through my moves entirely, and with 30DS I felt I could not concentrate on the form. Mind you, I was not sore after doing 4 days of it because my body could take it.

I am 5 feet 1 inch, 64.5 kgs (around 144 pounds), and am definitely over-weight bordering on obese given my petite frame.

Have I lost weight? Nope. Just a fluctuation of 3-4 kgs here and there.

I am a voracious eater, and eat 1800 to 2000 cals on an average day. so I am guessing it's all being maintained.. But have I gained weight, nope again.

But I have stopped looking at the scales. Not worth it.

My butt has shrunk from 45 inches to 41 inches (I am naturally pear shaped and even when I was 47 kgs had a 36 inch butt), and it no longer sticks out in that ugly manner. It's round and smooth, and I do admire it. I have lost inches from my stomach, my thighs - I can fit into jeans and tights that I could not pull up half way through my thighs.

But what I am most proud of is the immense stamina I have, my movements require less effort, I don't lose energy over simple tasks, I feel my body has a RHYTHM!!!

So my advice to you, start moving. As simple as getting out of your home, and walking round the block. Do it for 20 mins, and then increase the time by 10 mins every day. Add an easy on the knees pilates workout, I have this video which has a 20 min pilates warm up, I did that before walking.

Do not do high-impact exercises if you haven't moved for the longest while. It will be discouraging.

Most of all, take out time for yourself. If you don't love yourself, no one else will. I know I am still not perfect, if someone else had been logging their food and eating clean, they would have lost 10-15 kgs with the amount of effort I put in. But you know what I stopped comparing myself to them. I am happy with what I have.

athenaheim

Hello I am Athena and a single mother to two kids and work 1 full time job and 2 part time. I make time to workout. I would be more then happy to be friends and encouraging to you. I will send an add. Anyone can feel free to add me.

barb1241

I am already doing those kinds of things, more or less. I would be delighted to have you as a friend. Please feel free to add me.

Start NOW and make one small change at a time. Your list of "resolutions" is pretty big to try and inplement all at once. Remember the joke about how to eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Maybe just try to cut out sugar, or pop or whatever thing you can do to give you an accomplishment instead of failing at a bunch of things. Get that single thing under control first, then pick another-like walking around the block or parking further away from the entrance at the grocery store, or whatever like that. And so on. It is very, very difficult to go from one extreme to the other in a single shot, so give yourself a chance by taking it step by step. Don't think about what you are trying to do next year. Do it just for this moment. One minute at a time and repeat over and over as many times as it takes.

Please don't give up!

Barb

KipDrordy

You're too worried about the how. You don't need to schedule small meals every 2 hours to lose weight. I basically eat two meals a day that includes more junk food than I care to admit (my diary is open to all), yet I'm losing weight. You don't need a specific fitness routine. I'm not very active at all. All that matters is that by the end of the day/week that you are in a calorie deficit. Fitness is obviously important, but you can get plenty of that by just changing a few things in your daily routine. You'd be surprised how many extra calories you can burn by doing a few things differently. For instance, vacuum your house twice as often. Stand rather than sit. When you pick up toys or clothes, turn it into exercise by doing four or five squats per item you pick up. If you have a full basket of laundry, carry it up and down the stairs several times. All these little things add up. Some people get pedometers or heart monitors. You can get them rather cheaply and it's a great way to view where you're at every day and challenge yourself to top the previous day.

KipDrordy

I am already doing those kinds of things, more or less. I would be delighted to have you as a friend. Please feel free to add me.

Start NOW and make one small change at a time. Your list of "resolutions" is pretty big to try and inplement all at once. Remember the joke about how to eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Maybe just try to cut out sugar, or pop or whatever thing you can do to give you an accomplishment instead of failing at a bunch of things. Get that single thing under control first, then pick another-like walking around the block or parking further away from the entrance at the grocery store, or whatever like that. And so on. It is very, very difficult to go from one extreme to the other in a single shot, so give yourself a chance by taking it step by step. Don't think about what you are trying to do next year. Do it just for this moment. One minute at a time and repeat over and over as many times as it takes.

Please don't give up!

Barb

I agree 100%.

HypersonicFitNess

I didn't have 100 lbs to lose but that is exactly how I lost 35lbs in 6 months at the age of 38. I'm now 43. I will also tell you I wasn't a SAHM at the time, instead I worked 60 hours/week minimum with a 3-4 hour daily commute, as well as being a full time mom and carting my kid to practices, Bible study, paintballing, etc. I did it by planning each week on the weekend (usually on Sunday). I made my meal plan for the week, logged it in, wrote my grocery list, compared it to what I had on hand, then went to the store (and it usually meant two stores - the Whole Foods for things I couldn't get at the regular grocery and the regular grocery to save money on those items I could get there).

I have a lot of meal plans from when I was on eDiets (low glycemic) as well as raw food diet (I did a 16 week course and incorporate this into my diet now).

I also have lots of exercise workout routines from eDiets, Jillian Michaels (I was on her website for a while, but I didn't lose a single pound), I have also create my own from the other two as well as my years from teaching Mixed Martial Arts.

Feel free to Friend me or message me; I just sent a bunch of meal plans, recipes to my sister who still needs to lose 100 lbs and a friend who also needs to lose at least 100 if not more and she's also feeling discouraged. I'm trying to get them both to join on here... maybe I'll get them on here, yet.

bcl003

Ok I'm not a SAHM, but wish I was!! Here is what I got for you though: I am a horrible house cleaner, so I wanted to find something that would help with that and I did. The magical thing that helped me was Flylady.com, what does this have to do with you losing weight you think to yourself?? Well the thing Flylady taught/teaches me is that babysteps are really important. The reason I always fail when I think to myself I am going to get organized/fit/healthy/an education etc. was because I tried to do it all at once. I try to change all of my horrible habits at one time, I overwhelm myself and then I give up. So Flylady's ideas work for me, I am getting my house under control, started monthly (bi-weekly cause thats how my pay days fall) menu planning which in turn helps me watch what I eat because I have something planned and don't just turn right to frozen pizza for dinner saving me tons of calories (cause I can't eat pizza w/out ranch, lol!), I am less stressed. It helps, even if you don't need help with the cleaning aspect she has many ideas that are pretty awesome, like you can do anything for 15 minutes (like workout) or you are never behind (so why restart every Monday??). Just check out her site and some of these ideas can definitly apply to you obtaining your goals. Good luck.

sarahrbraun

You just typed my story...earlier this year I hit my all time high of 228.4lbs. That is a TON on my 5'2" frame.
I have only lost 32lbs, but my body has changed SO much. Just in the last month, I started using *real* weights, and I can now leg press 16lbs MORE than I weigh. I can only squat 65#, but I am hoping to get to 100lbs by Christmas.

I completely agree with you here - start SMALL, in fact SUPER SMALL.

I have been at MFP since last year and would just give up after some time counting calories. After one year I figured, diet was not the way for me. I CANNOT survive on a 1200 cal diet. I just can't. I can't even log food - I hate that.

Then this time around, I said, forget the calories, I want to be able to walk without losing my breath at least or turn in my car without feeling so creaky. Heck, I am 27 and felt like my body was that of a 55 year old. And I am a medical doctor, and after dealing with patients there was no way I wanted to end up with co-morbids by the time I hit 40!

I thought it starts now or never.

So I have worked out 4-5 times a week since August 2012, anywhere between 30 min and 1 hr 30 mins depending on if I need to catch up on my strength training.

Three months later in November, I can cycle for 45 mins at 27-30km/hr, without getting exhausted. I can walk 6 km in 1 hr with ease. I can do p90 cardio and fat burner workouts back to back with ease.

I started the 30DS but left it - I like going through my moves entirely, and with 30DS I felt I could not concentrate on the form. Mind you, I was not sore after doing 4 days of it because my body could take it.

I am 5 feet 1 inch, 64.5 kgs (around 144 pounds), and am definitely over-weight bordering on obese given my petite frame.

Have I lost weight? Nope. Just a fluctuation of 3-4 kgs here and there.

I am a voracious eater, and eat 1800 to 2000 cals on an average day. so I am guessing it's all being maintained.. But have I gained weight, nope again.

But I have stopped looking at the scales. Not worth it.

My butt has shrunk from 45 inches to 41 inches (I am naturally pear shaped and even when I was 47 kgs had a 36 inch butt), and it no longer sticks out in that ugly manner. It's round and smooth, and I do admire it. I have lost inches from my stomach, my thighs - I can fit into jeans and tights that I could not pull up half way through my thighs.

But what I am most proud of is the immense stamina I have, my movements require less effort, I don't lose energy over simple tasks, I feel my body has a RHYTHM!!!

So my advice to you, start moving. As simple as getting out of your home, and walking round the block. Do it for 20 mins, and then increase the time by 10 mins every day. Add an easy on the knees pilates workout, I have this video which has a 20 min pilates warm up, I did that before walking.

Do not do high-impact exercises if you haven't moved for the longest while. It will be discouraging.

Most of all, take out time for yourself. If you don't love yourself, no one else will. I know I am still not perfect, if someone else had been logging their food and eating clean, they would have lost 10-15 kgs with the amount of effort I put in. But you know what I stopped comparing myself to them. I am happy with what I have.

I feel ya. I didn't mention the fact that this time last year I was on my THIRD case of bronchitis/ asthma flare. In February when I started working out, I was only about 5-6 weeks out from my last case of bronchitis ( a total of 4 in 4 months!). The first month about killed me to walk 30 minutes at 2mph. I would literally be dripping with sweat and stumbling when I got off the treadmill. I'm not sure when it happened, but I realized a while back that I don't sweat on the treadmill anymore, even though I do 30 minutes of hill intervals at 3.2 or 3.3mph.

teschy123

I know we are already friends and feel free to IM whenever you need!! I am also a SAHM!! You can do this just start out small!!! I started out by just cutting out all sugary drinks except for my morning coffee, once I got that down I started watching what I was eating more!! Eventually I got to the point where I didn't feel good about myself if I was working out and eating better!!! Just take every day as a brand new day!!! Also don't feel bad if you do have a bad day, just start the next day hit refresh!!!! Seriously send me a message whenever you need help!!!