Is my hubby a saboteur or am I weak?

mfbonafide

My worst eating happens late at night. Sometimes after I go to bed. I woke up last night and my husband had a pizza and buffalo wings that he went out for after I went to bed. Almost unconsciously, I sat down and ate a piece of pizza and went back to bed. I logged the slice but am disappointed in myself today. Even with the pizza I was under my goal calories because I exercised. But I still feel bad. Night eating, bad, bad bad!
I really don't blame him. I know I have to be the one to say no to temptation. Oh, what to do?

dbkrantz

To be honest. I would say both.

My boyfriend is extremely supportive of my weight loss - although he is underweight. When at a restaurant or anywhere, he asks me if it's okay for him to get a chocolate cake for desert. And always makes sure I track everything.

He asks and I always say yes, obviously, because I know I am strong enough to have one bite only and not more!

You can do this, but a slice of pizza, chocolate, cake is not worth it!

nomsquared

HAHA your poor hubby... he was probably waiting for you to go to sleep so he could have those pizza and wings without sabotaging you. It looks like he really is trying, but it was just unfortunate that you woke up.

Think of it as a treat! An occasional or rare treat. And don't beat yourself up over it - stuff happens, log it, remember how guilty you felt logging it, and next time you'll be less likely to do it

majordlite

Well, in my opinion, if you were still under your calories goals AFTER a slice of carry-out pizza, then you were probably hungry from not having had enough to eat throughout the day. If you want pizza, eat pizza and enjoy it. I had pie at least three times yesterday, and I savored every bit of it. I was back to a protein shake this morning, and all is good.

Perhaps you should eat more during the day, including those things you enjoy, so you won't be so tempted to eat at night--since that is bothering you. Me, I eat at all times of the day. If I eat it after midnight, it gets logged onto breakfast the next day.

Good luck!

KellyJoMorris

You logged the snack and you were under your calorie goal, so a successful day! For me, I want to be able to eat a little bit of whatever I fancy. If that means doing more exercise to earn the calories then that's ok with me, that way I won't feel deprived. xx

Celeigh12

Unless he woke you up and offered you a slice, I don't think he's sabotaging you, though he's sabotaging his own health with a late night snack of pizza and wings...

Don't beat yourself up over this time, but learning to tell yourself no is a valuable skill to acquire. And though you may feel mad that you can't always eat what you want whenever you want it, that feeling of control over what you do eat or don't eat can feel really good. Like any new skill, it's hard to do at first, but with enough practice, it becomes more automatic. If you want pizza, don't let it blindside you, plan for it. Eat it on your terms, when you know you have the calories for it and your aren't just eating it because it's there and your husband is doing it, so you want to also.

Robin_Bin

New rules? You don't eat in bed, and he doesn't store food in the bedroom.

zentha1384

I wouldn't say that your husband isn't purposely sabotaging you as he went and got it after you went to bed. Nor would I say you are weak, you just need to think about it before you eat.

That said you may want to discuss it with him. Tell him he doesn't have to stop, but if you want to eat what he got that he should hold you responsible. You said unconsciously so you need to make a conscious choice. Tell him to make you think about it. Get him to ask you "Do you want to feel happy for a little bit now? Or do you want to be happy later for longer?" "Do you have that calories" "Are you sure you want it" or something to that effect.

Then if you make that choice you must hold yourself responsible for it. Don't blame him and don't say it wasn't a conscious effort.

jeme3

If you went to bed with enough calories left over for a slice of pizza, you are not eating enough.

Eating a slice of pizza is not a bad thing if it fits in your calorie goals and your macros.

Eat your exercise calories. MFP is designed for you to eat them. It's not going over or cheating to eat them.

I've lost 28 pounds since the beginning of September by eating almost every exercise calorie and eating pizza every so often.

adavis59

If you were still under your calorie intake after eating the slice of pizza, then that means you may not be eating enough during the day, and hence, you are hungry at night. Try to eat more during the day- like more fruits and veggies to fill in the hunger gaps (snacks) during the day.

jhanso86

I have the same problem with my husband...he loves to eat late at night as we stay up and spend time together after the kids are in bed. It's always been something we do, watch a movie and pig out. I have to just say no to that nowadays, that's part of what got me needing to lose weight! The more you say no to temptation the easier it will be. It is hard...I am pep talking myself right now, too! lol

vmekash

First, I would say he is not a saboteur; he is merely inconsiderate. With that in mind, your resolve needs a boost. Support is nice and is helpful, but if you NEED support to succees, just remember that most people will let you down. You NEED to be able to succeed w/o any support. Support is a bonus.

Also, nothing wrong w/ a slice of pizza.
Nothing wrong w/ something you log and are still under your net cals.
Nothing wrong w/ night eating at all. Calories cannot tell time.

All in all, I think you can relax. You're doing just fine, so don't beat yourself up.

Cheers!
:drinker:

billsica

Sabotage!! He left that pizza for you to eat in bed. Tricky *kitten*.

LorinaLynn

If you went to bed with enough calories left over for a slice of pizza, you are not eating enough.

This and all the similar sentiments.

Eat to your calorie goal and you won't feel compelled to binge on whatever snacks your husband brings home.

And besides, there's nothing wrong with pizza or wings. I have both regularly.

GiGiBeans

No sugar coating here. Food is going to be everywhere, we all have to deal with that and so do you. You are responsible for what goes into your mouth, period.

sleepygirl38

I don't think either. Youre hubby needs to eat too. I'm trying a 24 day cleanse and I am very limited on what I can eat. And my poor husband is putting up with it mostly. You are doing this for yourself. And it sounds like he is trying to support you (ex. he ordered it after you went to sleep). He had no intention for you to wake up and have any.

losemypounds251

Oops, don't think you were suppose to get back out of bed, sounds like hes trying to keep it out of site. We all have a slip now and then and when you mark it down, it kind of opens your eyes, to what happened, I use to find it hard to turn and walk away, because it did become a bad habit to always sit and have a bite if he had it ,I wanted it to. Be very thankful he waits till you go to bed to munch away, sounds like he is trying to stay out of your way. Mine is, really bad, and I am weak, mine bugs and bugs till I have a bite of what ever it is he is eating Finally I told him when I tell you No, quit bugging.Now I will go to another room and find something else to do till he is done. No more listening to " Are you sure you don't want any, are you sure its pretty good, last chance are you sure." Very frustrating but I am getting stronger. My hubby is not skinny but hes not fat and can eat 24 hours a day. I was weak and give in or like you see him eating and would take a piece.I have learned I have to Walk away and just say No. Late at night, when he is munching now, and I'm still up , I will go have a shower, so I see nothing

StyxxandStones

He waited till you were in bed to get the pizza. This is on you, sweetie. It all comes down to will-power. But, like previously mentioned, you clearly didn't eat enough if you were still under calories. Make sure you eat your calories, including exercise calories, and you won't be so tempted to snack late.

IsMollyReallyHungry

HAHA your poor hubby... he was probably waiting for you to go to sleep so he could have those pizza and wings without sabotaging you. It looks like he really is trying, but it was just unfortunate that you woke up.

Think of it as a treat! An occasional or rare treat. And don't beat yourself up over it - stuff happens, log it, remember how guilty you felt logging it, and next time you'll be less likely to do it

I agree with this whole statement.

shyeban

I think your hubby did nothing wrong.
I also think it is weird to get up and eat after being asleep but if you were that hungry, eat the food and forget about it. Life is too short. Food shouldn't weigh on your emotions. It's not good or bad, it is food.

nxd10

He's not a sabateur of you - there was nothing about you in his going out.

Why are you beating yourself up for eating? You were under your calories.

Stop thinking about food and eating like this. THAT is sabotaging yourself.