Is my hubby a saboteur or am I weak?

XXXMinnieXXX

He waited until you went to bed. No sabotage there in my opinion. Don't feel guilty over one piece of pizza. Get in a nice Sunday walk today and it's gone! X

XXXMinnieXXX

Often when you keep mindlessly eating it means something is on your mind also. If your doing it regularly think about it and see if there's anything you need to work on. An issue that's bothering you etc..

Zara x

EvgeniZyntx

You were under your calories. You logged.
How is this bad?

It does not matter at what time you eat.
You are sabotaging yourself, if you eat so much under your calories that you cannot control your choices. Eat your calories.

Pizza, good. Guilt, bad.

Cyndi1

dont allow his food habits to take you down...Hubby is probably not watching what he is eating or may not notice the temptations it puts o you... why not train your mind to say I can have that slice of pizza in the am..at least its not sitting in your belly that late at night. Its up to you to control what you want in regards to healthy eating.

hughtwalker

tell him - New Rule - he can't go and get pizza unless HE can manage a whole one.

ironanimal

I don't see how he did anything wrong. Getting it AFTER you've gone to bed seems to be more considerate than beforehand, imo.

lostsouls65

I would say both, he needs to understand you are on a diet and you need to be strong enough to say no or if you have some calories left use it up by having a slice. Partners always seem not understand our needs at times yet they are very fast to tell us we need to diet. Good luck and dont give up

oregonzoo

Nobody can sabotage you but yourself.

mrkennethjay

I had a roommate once who insisted on going out to get Wendy's at 1AM. He would never gain weight. Me on the other hand, I blew up to my biggest size ever! Like you said it's nearly robotic how you can fall into the habit of eating along with them. Night after night I’d be shoving burgers, fries, soda and junk in my body and never really knowing or caring about what it would do to me.
I gained 30lbs in the year I lived with him and for months I blamed it on him (jokingly).

Fast forward 3 years to today I'm down 70lbs from back then and I have an amazing sense of direction as far as my fitness goals so I’m not slowing down.

That same old roommate has seen my success with a well balance diet and regular exercise and he was amazed. He actually stopped eating junk food all the time and started to work out (temporarily ).

It's funny because he would taunt me because I would order a chicken salad and water when we went out for lunch, while he still ate badly.

So I don't think your husband is a saboteur per say but he maybe similar to my old roommate in the sense that they're both afraid of Change. I think my roommate felt like if I changed he would have to change and sometimes that change is for the better

Keep up the good work. It's excellent that you still logged it. Don't be so hard on yourself; I'm a slave to Pizza.... I LOVE IT. Just don't fall into his trap, make him fall into your trap

Dauntlessness

So, I have dealt with this myself. About a month after I started losing weight my husband came home with a huge pack of candy bars. Not miniatures, full size ones and like 20 of them... I was having a bad day and he told me "I need chocolate to feel better". He was just trying to make me feel better and food is how he always did it in the past., so why not then? After we talked about it he admitted he was wrong and apologized (yes I have a great husband who will do that when he is) and right then and there we decided that if we are going to have junk food, chips, sweets, candy, etc it will be something we buy ONE of them and we will not buy it during our regular grocery trips. Once in a while I cave and he gets a pack of cookies or something. I try to find something that replicates the taste but is lower cal. Like he had cheesecake ice cream and I made sugar free cheesecake pudding with graham cracker sprinkled on the top. You have to get creative.

With your situation, take out can be more difficult because just as you have the right to not have it in the house he deserves to have it around when he feel like it. My husband and I have agreed to go out to eat once a week and have w/e we want to eat. I think that's fair. If he wants to eat that stuff, he does it on his lunch breaks at work and doesn't bring it home. Instead of getting 2 large pizzas and a appetizer, we get one medium pizza and a salad. Its all about compromise.

TeresaC79

In your post I see four issues you mention:

1. Eating the pizza: As you said, you stayed within your calories, so this isn't an issue. You shouldn't feel bad for eating pizza. I lost 40 lbs in six months eating much healthier but in moderation. I didn't deprive myself of anything...pizza, beer, chocolate. Had it all. But never went over my calories. Avoidance and deprivation is a bad idea. Some people can make a total 180 and start eating clean, but rarely, in those early days of weight loss is that an effective means of losing weight. It is usually a recipe for failure.

2. Eating at night: Studies show over and over that the time of day you eat has no bearing on weight loss. Your body doesn't stop burning calories because you fall asleep. Your body still needs fuel to perform basic bodily functions like breathing, pumping blood, etc. Eating at night does not effect your weight loss.

3. Your husband eating foods he enjoys after you are in bed: This sounds like an unhealthy habit. That fact that he is feeling he must hide food from you is unfair to him. Not once in my journey did my choices effect my family. As a whole, we eat healthy anyhow, but if I did not have enough calories for something, in no way did my family have to avoid those things. It is about self control. Like someone else said, food is going to be surrounding you at all times. You need to buck up buttercup. Your husband shouldn't feel like he needs to hide his choices and you shouldn't make him feel that way. If he was doing it to be considerate, then that is nice, but you need to make him feel like it is unnecessary. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for failure if you can't even see other people enjoying foods you want to avoid.

ManEnMotion

You are only accountable to yourself. My family lives their normal dietary life... Eating out occasionally, bringing takeout food home and my wife is an amazing cook of things I can and can't eat.

The first 2 weeks I started my diet I tried to get my family to try my foods and they almost killed me. So I decided not to make them follow my eating habits. Now I've taken over most of the cooking and kitchen duties. I cook their meals and snacks and then I cook my meals and snacks. I feel so happy when I can make a dozen chocolate chip muffins and not even get a craving.

The other day at A&W I watched the family eat their meals. No I wasn't starring at them like a starving puppy at the table :0)
I just make sure I always have food close at hand.... Usually a ziplock bag of raw veggies or chicken.

mygrl4meee

First off. Do you not plan to ever eat pizza?? I give ya a high five for only eating one. That is will power. Second, if you are trying to change your life style it doesn't mean your husband will be on the same page. Its up to you to decide to eat or not. Again one slice of pizza doesn't make you weak. My husband is thin and doesn't eat the best and liks his sweets. I choose to eat them or not.I don't cut everything out so in moderation I do eat some of the things he does.

purpleipod

How is he sabotaging you if he's eating pizza and wings after you go to bed? I don't get it.

amydee714

I live with my 2 adult children (ages 19 and 20) and they bring pizza into the house 3-4 times a week. It is my choice to eat it or not. If I do choose to eat it (or the chips or the cookies or any of the other assorted junk food), I will not feel guilty for it.

Your husband DID wait until you went to bed which doesn't sound like he is sabotaging you. Sounds like he just wanted pizza and knew you "couldn't" have it.
BTW - you clearly could if you were that much under your calories that eating it didn't put you under.