Weight + treatment from men / dating

Options
13

Replies

  • banks89202
    banks89202 Posts: 270
    Options
    High weight 284lbs and my low weight is 175lbs @ 5'9 . Men were super nice to me but the ladies ...not so nice but girls are so catty when they feel that they have competition.
  • dovek11
    dovek11 Posts: 94 Member
    Options
    High weight 284lbs and my low weight is 175lbs @ 5'9 . Men were super nice to me but the ladies ...not so nice but girls are so catty when they feel that they have competition.

    I wondered if someone else would say this! Women were not more friendly to me when I was thin.
    Men were VERY friendly! I have hit my goal weight, and YEP, its still the same as when I was younger. Men like teeny women. Even ones who scowl! So its not about the smile. If I am not smiling, as a thin woman, men will TELL ME TO SMILE! I was never told to smile or cheer up at my heavy weights.

    As a heavy single woman, no hits. Thin? Not married or married, didn't matter, still hit on.

    I think what bothered me the most, is how often people offered me free food when I was thin! Which ticked me off! It was NOT about my personality or how I carried myself. I am the same person fat or thin.

    Buying candy for a gift the flirty man behind the counter gave me a pound extra, even though I declined it. Would he have done that if I weighed 50# more? No! He would have been thinking I didn't need to be buying candy at all!
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Options
    I've never been overweight, and I've never gotten special attention from guys. Idk maybe I just look that bad lol

    Oh you are telling lies!! You have to be? You look like a model girl!! Jealous, much!! lol

    I'm just really dorky and end up being "one of the guys". I don't carry myself well at all because I'm a huge goofball and feel stupid trying to act sexy and flirtatious.

    Guys always complain about getting friend-zoned, but it happens to women too. If one more of my attractive male friends tells me he loves me like a little sister, I'm gonna kick him in the nuts.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    Options
    Men started opening the door for me again when I hit 150 lbs.That's a lovely gesture and I appreciate it. Gentlemen are rare, but not entirely gone.

    My first outright unencouraged flirtation/pick-up was at 145 lbs. To be honest avoiding obnoxious, condescending men was a side benefit of being fat. I am married, wear a ring and for some idiots, that's a challenge. Sometimes I wish I could have a fat suit to wear in public, then take it off when I get home.
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
    Options
    They don't approach me :( Always felt I wasn't good enough because of that. *sigh*
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
    Options
    I seem to get hit on a lot more since I got pregnant than before, which I think might be a bad sign...
  • cindl24
    cindl24 Posts: 178
    Options
    Right now I seem to be in a crazy in-between stage where I'm too thin for heavier guys and too fat for thinner guys. LOL

    Lately, the only people hitting on me are the horny seniors in the nursing home where I work. Go figure.
  • Josh_H
    Josh_H Posts: 1,151
    Options
    Lately, the only people hitting on me are the horny seniors in the nursing home where I work. Go figure.
    This made me LOL. too funny.
  • cindl24
    cindl24 Posts: 178
    Options
    Lately, the only people hitting on me are the horny seniors in the nursing home where I work. Go figure.
    This made me LOL. too funny.

    I aim to please. Actually you'd be amazed what some of these guys say. It'd make a porn star blush! LOL
  • carryingon
    carryingon Posts: 609 Member
    Options
    Warning-This is going to sound bad and shallow.I was bad, bad, bad and it was wrong, wrong, wrong! At 135 and very fit. I could get a guy to do anything. They would pick me up and carry me around if I didn't want to walk. Perfect strangers would fight over holding a door for me. I got free stuff everywhere I went. Men would buy all of my friends drinks just to buy me drinks. Saw more cell phone pics of penises than I would care to mention. Men would come up to me at random places and ask to have their pic taken with me. Never had to pay a cover charge. Always got to stay past closing. Had a birthday where I got five cakes (maybe I looked like I needed cake)? Had a stalker. Had mormon missionaries breaking curfew to come hang out with me (I really liked one of them). Had more than one guy get his nipples pierced so I would go out with them (actually went with one when he had it done). Had different priests at diff times (not in any particular order) kiss my face, kiss my hands, rub my leg in a confessional, look at my chest while handing me communion. I am proud to say I grew up and had children so I am not that shallow any more. It is all about confidence, eye contact, facial expressions, and body language. Being thin doesn't exactly equal sexy. Being proud of yourself equals sexy.
    P.S. Read the Bombshell Manual of Style
    and do the S factor wokout. (or whatever may help you build confidence)
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Options
    When I was at my top weight, nobody bothered with me, but I was also depressed and practically never left the house.

    I was in a relationship at my second highest weight.

    In between (from average bmi up to ~30 lbs overweight), I tended to have more in common with the guys who did express interest.

    Now, I get just random weirdos. Guys with totally different values and interests (bankers and salesmen?), guys who are really too young for me, etc. I think it might be because of the way I dress now, though - a *bit* more polish (ie, some), & more skirts and dresses.

    Also the places I go have changed - I prefer dancing to listening to guitars now. But still, it's not like I go to meat markets :/
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    Options
    Of course I got more attention when I was younger and thinner.
    But even "old" and "fat" :wink: , I get attention. I'm just a friendly fun-loving person, and guys respond to that.
    When I was just starting my fitness journey, I was at the grocery store one evening, in sweats, hair pulled back in a ponytail/doo rag, and no makeup on. And I probably weighed around 170 lbs. Walking past the deli, the delicious looking cakes caught my eye, and I stopped. Then I started to walk away. Then I turned around and looked again. I noticed a guy standing there watching me, I thought I must have looked pretty silly, and so I laughed. I started talking to him about how good those cakes looked--but that I was NOT going to cave in! I told him "tell me I don't need that! Tell me to keep walking!" He chuckled along with me.
    So I made it to the other side of the store to the healthy Greek yogurt...and there he was beside me. He followed me across the store to ask if I was "taken."
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    Options
    I used to ammm date a bigger girl - well actually she never accepted to date me or go out with me but always had me come over to her place and we would cuddle and make out and such, but she never allowed me to kiss her in public or hold her hand, and when I tried to do anything of that she would get mad at me.

    I asked her out and wondered if we were anything [official, exclusive or anything] and she always said we were just friends and that I was taking things out of context but one time I went down on her and the next day she decided to stop using her purity ring [which I didn't know about] but still refused to date me or label me or admit any feelings for me.

    The only time she kissed me out of her apartment was when we said good bye at the end of the semester and we didn't see each other for about 6 months but I moved out of town.

    Girls please don't be insecure if you are bigger and have a boy fall for you, why would you feel the need to hide?
  • AnahitaCanDoIt
    AnahitaCanDoIt Posts: 448
    Options
    I've been all sizes from UK 8 to UK 22...

    Oddly, the threshold where men hit on me is as I approach and sit comfortably in the healthy BMI range. In the obese one I was invisible. Now I'm at the 26BMI and it's just starting to pick up and when I'm dressed up not in training gear, I get lots of attention!,
    I can see men look at me, try to make eye contact. I've never been fit as in tight and lean... So when I get there I'll report back !!!
  • CkepiJinx
    CkepiJinx Posts: 613 Member
    Options
    I have never been thin. Overweight and obese my whole life. I have never had trouble with men ;). I have me hold doors for me all the time, smile at me. The men I chose to date when I was single always treated me well because I excepted nothing less.
    My husband and I started dating when I was at my heaviest about 300+ , supports me losing weight but never pushed me to. Once I told him I was doing this he has supported me.

    How you perceive yourself and your own self worth is a huge factor in how people treat you.

    I have at times had comments made about my weight but it never bothered me, I always figured if that was the only thing people had to say about me, it said more about them than me ;)
  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    Options
    How you perceive yourself and your own self worth is a huge factor in how people treat you.

    EXACTLY!

    The same happened to me, when I was fatter I would have people hitting on me I guess my attitude is really sexy and I would get approached by strangers all the time to compliment me or flirt with me or give me their number or just talk. Attitude is the key.
  • Litlbeast
    Litlbeast Posts: 340 Member
    Options
    Honestly, at both my heaviest and my thinnest, if I was having a day where I had a grumpy face on, I'd be nearly invisible. If I was in a good mood and smiled at people, attention was given.

    Sometimes you don't even realize the face you're sharing w/ the world. Happiness invites happiness. :)
  • bridgelene
    bridgelene Posts: 358 Member
    Options
    I've never really been approached as more than "the girl next door" type no matter what my weight. Of course, I'm a fabulous flirt with friends but the second I try to ACTUALLY initiate anything and flirt to do so, I end up super-awkward, stuttery, etc haha.
  • Chinadorian
    Chinadorian Posts: 200 Member
    Options
    Honestly, at both my heaviest and my thinnest, if I was having a day where I had a grumpy face on, I'd be nearly invisible. If I was in a good mood and smiled at people, attention was given.

    Sometimes you don't even realize the face you're sharing w/ the world. Happiness invites happiness. :)
    ^true
  • Luvmesumkenny
    Luvmesumkenny Posts: 779 Member
    Options
    Naww!! Even at my heaviest I still got tons of Attention. .
    Its called Self Coincidence... Men are more attracted to how a woman carries herself. Sex appeal goes a long way

Categories