Non-Traditional Brides - Any Regrets?

13turtles

I had a small wedding and it was perfect! We only had 20 people in attendance for the ceremony and the minister had them stand in a circle around us for the actual vows. Everyone participated and we felt like we were surrounded by love (not just our love, but the love from family and friends) the entire time. It was stress free and I remeber everything! I don't think you have to sacrifice what you want however, just do it on a smaller scale. I did the white dress, and the flowers, and the pictures. I didn't have any attendants because I didn't want to have to decide between friends. The day was peaceful and so special!

I have heard from so many brides that had huge weddings that they wish the could remember it but that the entire thing was a haze! After the wedding and honeymoon, we had a big celebration party for everyone else! Who doesn't love a good party? It was a wedding celecration party, casual dress since there wasn't a ceremony, and people ate, danced, and had a great time. We showed the wedding ceremony video, and had a photo slide show of us from dating through the wedding. We went light on decrations since it was casual, but had great food catered in. For the wedding and the celebration party, we spent about $5000 total and paid for it all in cash. We weren't about to put our parents or ourselves in debt for a wedding.

If I had to do it all again, I would choose it the exact same way! I couldn't stomach the thought of spending a down payment for a house on one day, and I have never regretted the decision. We were all about the marriage, and not just the wedding. I hope that you find the best choice for you and your fiancee! Good lick!

alpine1994

My wedding had 50 guests and it was PERFECT, I would never regret the way we did it. This is what I think: taking your vows is a very serious, intimate thing, and I only wanted people that I was really close to and that were important to me and my husband to be there to share in it. We got to have real conversations with everyone who attended, and because we kept the guest list small we were able to afford things like some really amazing gourmet food and drinks. I highly doubt you will regret your choice if you keep your wedding day small and intimate.

This is exactly how I feel. Vows are so private and intimate, I can't even imagine exchanging them in front of anyone besides our families and a few of our longest friends. This is how we want ours to be like when the time comes.

13turtles

Oh, and we're going on 13 years.

maab_connor

if it's the right marriage, you will never regret a small wedding. i have seen this proven a LOT.

offbeatbride.com has a lot of really cool ideas for non-traditional weddings, some big, some small, all awesome and unique.

me? if i ever get married, i plan on it being a surprise. i want to invite family and friends for a "bridal party cook out" tell them all it's so they can meet and hang out and get to know each other. then, halfway through, have the officiant show up and pause the party long enough for vows, then crank the music and the grill back up.

Mishi1369

I can't tell you if they (or espicially she) regrets it because it was my brother's wedding, but what I can tell you is that they had a small 30 person wedding, in my backyard with a dinner following and having been thier wedding planner, I can tell you that its still a lot of work and there was still family drama and in some cases more because it was smaller and they feel they have more access to you.

I say, have the wedding you want and can afford. Go small if you want to, go large if you can and want to. But don't go small expecting there to be less drama and less work because that is not always the case.

shellbell1993

My husband and I eloped a lil over a year ago. I am Canadian and came over to the US on a fiance visa (so we only had 90 days to get married) and no money left over (from the very expensive process of immigration) for a small or big wedding. So we hopped on his Harley and set out for an adventure! We settled on days later to get married by a ordianed minister in our hotel conference room Then spent our "honeymoon" exploring and riding home! My only regret is not having my parents & his children there!

erinnstreeter

The big white wedding is just one option in a great sea of choices. It's also typically an expensive event to put on.

Remember, our grandparents' generation, the 'traditionalists', got married during war time. It was usually a fast courtship, a short engagement (if any at all), and a courthouse wedding. And many of that generation were/have been married for decades longer than their children were. The outcome of their wedding (a lasting and happy relationship) was not dependent upon it being a big tah-dah.

That being said, if that's the kind of wedding you have always dreamed about (the big white wedding, I mean), and you're willing to put the time, energy, and resources into making it happen, then it's more than likely that you will be happy with the outcome.

dawnp1833

If I could do it again, I'd make it even smaller. It was wonderful being able to enjoy our wedding and our guests without the overwhelming task of having to host hundreds of people we barely knew. Plus the bonus of fewer people is that you have more money to spend on what is important to you. Our menu, cake and flowers were all amazing and I don't think I could have done it so well if I had to pay for more meals. We had a beautiful little ceremony in a park by a lake with just our closest friends standing around us and a couple of kids playing violin. If we had to get chairs and seat hundreds of people, it would not have been the same. Eight years later, people still talk about what a great time they had.

My sister got married at a court house and we all wore jeans and t-shirts that said "bride, groom, best man, mother of the bride" etc. and then went to their favorite Mexican restaurant. It was fun and inexpensive and really fit her style. Just 9 people at the ceremony and about 20 at the reception. They were able to take all the money they saved and have a fantastic trip and some home improvements.

Sabine_Stroehm

His parents and siblings.
My two best friends
JP

Never regretted it. I KNEW a wedding would stress me out. And he thought it would be a waste of money.

DrMAvDPhD

Destination wedding in Mexico with 17 guests. Never regret it, still have family and friends gush about what an amazing experience it was.

daklex

My husband and I decided to get married in July. We told everyone that we were getting married in November. I ONLY told people because I didn't want my family to be upset with us.

We flew to AZ 2 weeks ago and had the most amazing ceremony in Sedona, out on the Red Rocks, with no family/friends. I hired a local officiant, photographer, videographer and guitarist. They were our witnesses, along with 2-3 families who stopped to watch. It was lovely. The scenery was stunning and it was intimate and romantic.

We returned last week and are planning a 'reception' after the holidays. We sent announcement/save-the-dates from AZ.

My one regret...telling anyone beforehand. I wish I didn't have the stress of my mom feeling bad that she wasn't going to be there. The way we saw it, though, was that it was his 2nd (my first) wedding, his kids couldn't be there, and my Dad is deceased. Without my Dad to walk me down the aisle (even though I'm 40), I just didn't want the big wedding. Besides, I'm 40. lol

Think about what YOU want, and DO IT! No regrets if you do what your heart wants. And CONGRATS!!!

NovemberJune

We had a small wedding at a park. A friend of mine officiated. We got legally hitched at the court house a few days before. I got my dress for $14 at Burlington. lol. No regrets. But I never wanted a big, expensive wedding. If I had any money, I would spend it on something else. lol. I do wish we had a honeymoon! Maybe one day. So I say save the money on a big wedding, and spend it on travel or bills or save it for a home or car

MNA76

My husband and I got married in Las Vegas. We had about 25 people come with us. I do not regret it for a moment because I just wanted to be with him and I am. Plus, Vegas was a blast!

KrysGettinFit

Other end of the spectrum, I had a big wedding with almost 200 people. I had all the bells and whistles and I loved every.single.minute. of it. It was a lot of money but to me it was worth it and the best day of our lives. it's really all about how you feel and how you are. Good Luck in planning and deciding and congrats

Pedalpush

I've had two weddings: the first, at 23, was about 150 people - had an amazing time. The second, and last, six and a half years ago, was the two of us on the beach with parents, brothers, wives and nieces (about 12 total) on Virginia Beach = perfect.

The only thing I regret is skipping the honeymoon second time around. Almost seven years and two kids later, we still haven't taken a substantial vacation.

Take that time to be together.

the_journeyman

We split the difference. Medium ceremony (bigger than we both wanted, thanks to our Moms getting their hands on the guest list & invitations) but we also put our own stamp on it. it was outdoor with a nice small amphitheater with a lake view. I showed up a few minutes late (planned that way) on my motorcycle, in my tux. I rode right up to the top o the amphitheater, jumped off the bike and trotted down the steps to the ceremony. We then had a nice, ceremony that lasted about 15-20 minutes. Then, we made our way up the steps to my bike I jump on the bike, turn it around, my wife, still in wedding dress, jumps on the back and we roar out of there!

We then did pictures and headed to the reception. It was great fun.

JM

sugarlips1980

It's your day...do what makes you happy. Life's too short to worry what other people think. You may have once dreamed about a big wedding... But the reality of that's now kicked in... Stress, organisation, money! You want to enjoy your day more than anything so go with your instincts and you will!

I'm planning mine for 100 in a fairly intimate mid budget golf club. Went round all the expensive manor houses i thought I wanted. apart from the staggering prices I felt like they were too stuffy and formal and not me. I'd happily have fewer guests but my boyfriend has a very large family so we can't really get away with it!

rileamoyer

I had TWO beautiful small weddings at homes of very good friends. You can do traditional wedding attire, flowers, cake and champagne with just your close family and friends. In the same spirit we opened gifts with them right there. Very much worth it.

branson101

I was just at a theme park called Silver Dollar CIty. There is a real chapel in there that has an amazing view of the mountains and they perform wedding there all the time. In fact there was a wedding going on when I was there. It is a cute little log cabin of a church and the view is beautiful. Its a small chapel but the vows are supposed to be intimate. Every bride I've seen there (and there have been a few) looke so relaxed and calm as they were brought to the chapel in a carriage. IF you wanted to, you could have a large reception later.

kimmie185

I'm getting married in May and I do plan on having a big wedding... Lost a ton of weight, been dreaming of being a bride since I was little so yea, I'm looking forward to celebrating with everyone and in style. I understand big celebrations are not for everyone though. :flowerforyou:

melissann23

no regret at all! my hubby & i went to St Lucia in September, just the two of us. it was perfect and intimate, just what we wanted

mdcjmom

I just got married Nov 9th and do not regret my small wedding. There were 14 people total counting the preacher. And 6 of them were my fiance myself and our kids. I wore black lol and my kids wore white. It was beautiful and sweet short and to the point but I wouldn't change it for the world. So do what makes you happy. I was the best decision I ever made.

MDCJMOM

Mama_Mila

My hubby and I got married at the courthouse and I wouldn't have had it any other way! Big weddings are just not my thing...You spend so much time and money on OTHER people...our immediate family were with us at the courthouse and we had a small gathering afterwards...then we had a 7 day honeymoon that was AMAZING because we were able to spend all the money that we didn't put towards a wedding and it was allllll for us! :bigsmile:

ViDexSha

My hubby and I got married over 10 years ago. Small wedding of 30 people. We got married in city hall, took pictures, had lunch at a restaurant where we made arrangments and reserved a room. Had a bottle of vine for everyone. Then for those who were up for it, we went to a bar/nightclub to dance and celebrate. Most of the people our age joined, my parents and their friends stayed home and enjoyed each others company. The entire wedding cost us about $1000.
Hire a great photgrapher!

medaglia_06

I'm Italian and a wedding planner, I've been dreaming of a BIG wedding my whole life LOL. My now hubby wanted city hall so there was some compromising to do! For some reason he likes pirates (yes he's almost 30 years old). So I looked around and found that you can get married on the Song Ship at Treasure Island in Las Vegas. I got a unique wedding and we didn't break the bank so I would say I have no regrets... and in the end I got to marry the love of my life... corny, but true.

You will never please everyone with the way you decide to do your wedding so just focus on the two of you and what you want.

michelejoann

I DREAM of having a small, non-traditional wedding. Ideally, my fiance and I want no more than 50 people there, a harpist, red shoes and delicious food.

His sister had 500 people at her wedding, and their parents had to take out a second mortgage on the house to pay for it.

His brother is having 200 people at their wedding.

So, after them...small will be the way to go. I just wish we didn't have to get married in the Catholic church (we're non-practicing but there is family pressure on both sides)...but that's a whole other story.

:ohwell:

medaglia_06

Also, if you decide you want a bigger wedding with less stress, I highly suggest hiring a wedding planner to take care of a lot of the details. You still get your wedding, they just do all of the leg work :happy:

lik_11

I'm from Texas, and married a man in/from Ohio. We decided to get married, and 1 month later went to the justice of the peace with our parents, then had a small luncheon. Spent the afternoon getting pics (my Mom insisted!) and then went to a fancy dinner. 3 months later, we had a pig roast reception in Ohio, 3 months after that- we had a reception in Texas, waited 3 months went on our "official honeymoon", then 3 months later celebrated our first anniversary. Celebrated all year, no drama- it was perfect for us! Wouldn't change a thing!!!

luppic8

M wedding was totally untraditional. I got married on Halloween and had a huge costume party. It was an absolute blast and everyone had an amazing time It cost next to nothing and the money we saved was put towards our home so it was a win, win! I don't regret not having all the pomp and circumstance of a traditional wedding AT ALL!!!

I think that whole big formal wedding thing is just to please others and you are stuck with "buyers remorse" after spending all that money "trying" to please everyone, because everyone has their own opinion of "the perfect wedding." I'm not saying go crazy like we did, but I've been to many lovely intimate weddings and they were better than some of the more elaborate ones I've seen. Do what you and your fiance feel is right for you...after all is said and done, the ultimate goal is to get married and start a wonderful life together! Congratulations to you and good luck!

YouCanCountOnBunnies

Ours was a small church wedding, with an informal meal for 30 people afterwards, and I enjoyed every minute, there is nothing about that day that I would do differently. A big elaborate wedding is perfect for some people, but it's not our style. You and your husband-to-be should have the wedding you both want - although having said that, I think it's important to make sure that the people you love the most are there to share your special day; you are making memories that will last a lifetime. Wishing you a wonderful wedding and a happy marriage!