The truth about weight loss is...
_granola
Posts: 326
The truth is…
…weight loss and fitness is not about reaching an ultimate end goal.
It’s not about finally seeing a specific number on the scale, and it’s not even about being able to run 5 miles or lift 200 lbs off the ground. Reaching those goals, for most people, are exciting only for a while. But the excitement, that feeling of accomplishment and ultimate happiness we expected to feel, well, that starts to fade. We think the number on the scale equal success, and anything else is still failure. If we did not get a PR on our bench press that we thought we would, we have failed. If we tortured ourselves with starving ourselves and spending endless ours on the elliptical and the scale told us we gained a pound, we've failed.
And we let these things ruin our days. We let these things ruin our goals, sabotage our mood for longer than they should, and because many of us have been fat and unhealthy for a long time, our broken self-esteems take over again. We’ve placed our value on a number that says nothing about who we are as people and how we should value ourselves.
This is actually the ultimate failure. Hating yourself, or even telling yourself you are not good enough, or allowing outside factors influence how your days, weeks, and months are going to be and feel, is truly failing. If you continue to punish and hate yourself along the way, that elusive ultimate goal weight is still not going to feel good.
It’s not. You will still never feel good enough. You will still think if just lost 2 more pounds, you will be happy, and everything you’ve been through for several years and your entire life will go away. Happiness and success will finally be yours.
It’s just not true.
Some of the people I see on here and even some I’ve gotten to know have accomplished incredible things. But they still can’t seem to be happy with themselves. Some can’t even be satisfied with what they have been through to get there. They continue to criticize and berate themselves (especially when it comes to how they look), often have days where they think they are failures, and nitpick about small parts of their bodies that they think look terrible.
Even at their goal weight. Even at a healthy body percentage. Even when they post pictures of their progress, they continue to say, “Look at my progress! Amazing! But… my butt is still really big, and look at all that fat that’s still on my hips!”
If you want to succeed, you have to learn to sing and dance along the way. Enjoy the process of getting healthier and fit, and focus on loving yourself for exactly who you are, not who you wish you could be. Fix your mind, love what you’re doing so you’ll keep doing it, reward yourself instead of punishing yourself, and stop hating yourself. Just stop.
This translates to all aspects of our lives. If you stop thinking about how exciting it will be when the end comes, you’ll enjoy what you went through to get there. And you won’t torture yourself to reach an ultimate end goal that won’t even satisfy you in the first place.
The video that inspired this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwmbUzMViiU
…weight loss and fitness is not about reaching an ultimate end goal.
It’s not about finally seeing a specific number on the scale, and it’s not even about being able to run 5 miles or lift 200 lbs off the ground. Reaching those goals, for most people, are exciting only for a while. But the excitement, that feeling of accomplishment and ultimate happiness we expected to feel, well, that starts to fade. We think the number on the scale equal success, and anything else is still failure. If we did not get a PR on our bench press that we thought we would, we have failed. If we tortured ourselves with starving ourselves and spending endless ours on the elliptical and the scale told us we gained a pound, we've failed.
And we let these things ruin our days. We let these things ruin our goals, sabotage our mood for longer than they should, and because many of us have been fat and unhealthy for a long time, our broken self-esteems take over again. We’ve placed our value on a number that says nothing about who we are as people and how we should value ourselves.
This is actually the ultimate failure. Hating yourself, or even telling yourself you are not good enough, or allowing outside factors influence how your days, weeks, and months are going to be and feel, is truly failing. If you continue to punish and hate yourself along the way, that elusive ultimate goal weight is still not going to feel good.
It’s not. You will still never feel good enough. You will still think if just lost 2 more pounds, you will be happy, and everything you’ve been through for several years and your entire life will go away. Happiness and success will finally be yours.
It’s just not true.
Some of the people I see on here and even some I’ve gotten to know have accomplished incredible things. But they still can’t seem to be happy with themselves. Some can’t even be satisfied with what they have been through to get there. They continue to criticize and berate themselves (especially when it comes to how they look), often have days where they think they are failures, and nitpick about small parts of their bodies that they think look terrible.
Even at their goal weight. Even at a healthy body percentage. Even when they post pictures of their progress, they continue to say, “Look at my progress! Amazing! But… my butt is still really big, and look at all that fat that’s still on my hips!”
If you want to succeed, you have to learn to sing and dance along the way. Enjoy the process of getting healthier and fit, and focus on loving yourself for exactly who you are, not who you wish you could be. Fix your mind, love what you’re doing so you’ll keep doing it, reward yourself instead of punishing yourself, and stop hating yourself. Just stop.
This translates to all aspects of our lives. If you stop thinking about how exciting it will be when the end comes, you’ll enjoy what you went through to get there. And you won’t torture yourself to reach an ultimate end goal that won’t even satisfy you in the first place.
The video that inspired this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwmbUzMViiU 0
Replies
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Don't tell me what my goal is0
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Preach.
Truth.
Hurts.0 -
LOVE LOVE LOVE this. :flowerforyou:0
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Agreed.
Gotta get your head right and everything else will fall into place.
Thanks for posting this!
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But I must become perfection.0
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Well put, kiddo.0
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Awesome. Love this post.0
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Win.0 -
Love this!! I really needed to hear this today. I think I'm more critical of myself now than I was 80 lbs ago - much less accepting of my human flaws. Thanks for the awesome reminder to be thankful with where I am currently at and celebrate the goals I have acheived.0
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I agree, this is why I have a lifetime of huge weight swings. I have never learned to love and accept myself.0
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So glad that you posted this. Thanks. :flowerforyou:
Bumpbumpitybumpbumpbump!!0 -
amen sistah. I do this myself all of the time, letting the stupid number on the scale ruin or make my day. so dumb. thanks for the reminder!0
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i like it!0 -
But they still can’t seem to be happy with themselves. Some can’t even be satisfied with what they have been through to get there. They continue to criticize and berate themselves (especially when it comes to how they look), often have days where they think they are failures, and nitpick about small parts of their bodies that they think look terrible.
Even at their goal weight. Even at a healthy body percentage. Even when they post pictures of their progress, they continue to say, “Look at my progress! Amazing! But… my butt is still really big, and look at all that fat that’s still on my hips!”
Haha, this is totally me!0 -
bump. i still don't understand the 'bump' principle but if it means that this is something i can re-visit easily in future, then i would definitely like to!0
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While this post is very good and speaks to many people...I dont believe it speaks to all. I say this because I am one of those people that beats themselves up and hates themselves when I fail...I have done this my whole life with everything...and I always succeed when I do this.
You can look at it as being my own drill sargeant....I'll beat myself into the ground and break my spirit and only come out of it stronger....I'll eat too much in a day, then go take it out on myself at the gym. As I said, I've done this all my life with everything, not just diet and exercise...it is just the way I succeed at things and fail to quit.
Different strokes for different folks....but again, not taking anything away from your post, it was very well written.0 -
bump. i still don't understand the 'bump' principle but if it means that this is something i can re-visit easily in future, then i would definitely like to!
Bump = moving a thread to the front of the list. You are "bumping" it up to the top typically to create more attention to the thread so it doesnt drown in the sea of other threads.
People here on MFP will just write bump typically if they want to access the thread later to read what others wrote.0 -
While this post is very good and speaks to many people...I dont believe it speaks to all. I say this because I am one of those people that beats themselves up and hates themselves when I fail...I have done this my whole life with everything...and I always succeed when I do this.
You can look at it as being my own drill sargeant....I'll beat myself into the ground and break my spirit and only come out of it stronger....I'll eat too much in a day, then go take it out on myself at the gym. As I said, I've done this all my life with everything, not just diet and exercise...it is just the way I succeed at things and fail to quit.
Different strokes for different folks....but again, not taking anything away from your post, it was very well written.
I agree that this may work for some people, and probably works more for men than for women. I was honestly speaking more to women. But I definitely see how your method would work for some people.0 -
bamp0
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Very well said! Fortunately I've never had a true struggle with weight, but not liking my body and not feeling good enough has plagued me anyway. This year, I have started to see fitness and health as a lifestyle, not a goal, and that has led me to find things that I enjoy doing, not doing things because I "have" to.
Nice post!0 -
Yep, that is the stone-cold truth. I fell right into that and am working my way out.0
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difference between self satisfied and happy I dont know if I will ever be self satisfied
I havent hit all my major goals so not satisfied I can do things I never dreamed of doing HAPPY
I trundle out the door to run most every morning wanting to go faster and farther satisfied not close HAPPY sure I am running without being afraid of dying out there
I still get on the scale every morning to keep track and after 4 and a half years still have further to go not self satisfied
but extremely happy
so beat yourselves up or not feel happy or not its an individual thing but if you have goals to reach keep reaching0 -
SO TRUE!!! LOVE IT!!!0
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Don't tell me what my goal is
Exactly. Or how much to be happy when I achieve them.0 -
If you want to succeed, you have to learn to sing and dance along the way. Enjoy the process of getting healthier and fit, and focus on loving yourself for exactly who you are, not who you wish you could be. Fix your mind, love what you’re doing so you’ll keep doing it, reward yourself instead of punishing yourself, and stop hating yourself. Just stop
It's not always as easy as "just stop." People also need to realize if they could use some professional help.0 -
Don't tell me what my goal is
Exactly. Or how much to be happy when I achieve them.
I just read your latest blog post. It sounds a lot like me when I joined MFP, and like the kind of people OP is describing. Obviously I can't know you from a few blog entries, just an observation.0 -
love MOST of this 0
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True - I came back from NFLD almost 4 years ago after being there for 5 weeks and gained 15lbs! I was at my top weight 158-160lbs or something. I was like "Holy ****! I really am Miss Piggy!" That was my nick name as a child because I was always chubby. I told myself I was going back to the gym and getting a personal trainer - and I did - for 2 years! I spent a small fortune to make sure that I KNEW how to work out properly so I wouldn't hurt myself and try to drop the weight as best as I could.
After 5 trainers, I got fed up. I had gained a ton of muscle, but wasn't able to drop down from 145lbs. I started to work out on my own and dropped to 140lbs this past August and as of last week I was back at 145lbs. My point, I'm never happy. If you look at my profile it's "Ok stomach seriously go away!" Or something like that. I am never happy with my stomach. But, I look damn good! LOL. It's my own perception of myself that hurts me, when in all actuality, I look freakin' fantastic. However, until I am down to where I want to be, 135lbs like when I first moved to Toronto, I won't be happy. Even then, because I didn't work out, I was a bit "flabby"... Self perception will make you crazy!0 -
So true! When I weigh myself in the morning and the scale is on the same number or even (gasp!) higher, I am in a bad mood for the rest of the day. But we do need to be appreciative for our accomplishments so far. Thanks for the reminder!0
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