I don't "look" like I lost 50 lbs, so no one believed me.
Replies
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First, let me say that 50 lbs is a great achievement, no matter what your starting point is. You should feel great about that. So celebrate your successes, and take your setbacks as learning experiences and move on from them.
That being said, there's some ugly truths you need to recognize. About 10% of people will genuinely care about your weight loss and be supportive. 40% will hate you for it, or be jealous of you, and the other 50% could care less unless there is something in it for them.
That's the reality.
I don't know you, and as such, I can't speak to your mental state or capacity, but I can say this, I've been losing weight, or mentoring others for a while now, and one thing I can say is that you need to worry about you, you can't let your feelings hinge on what a bunch of strangers think. The masses are cruel, mob rule is callous and unforgiving, if you put yourself out there, expect the harshest judgement you can think of, then make it worse.
Allow those you love to be your real support, all the others out there should be tiny little marshmallow balls thrown at you, if you like them, have a few (but not to many) and enjoy, if you don't like them, let them bounce off you; because their commentary is only as important as you let it be.
Continue your journey undaunted by the comments of fools, for only a fool would allow others to rule their though.
Best luck
-Banks
^^^^THIS!
I have been going through some rough times personally for about 15 months and things got even worse over the summer. I found myself seriously depressed and then started eating anything and everything. I couldn't commit to the plan I had made for myself and next thing I new I had gained 15 lbs or so. I woke up about a week ago and said "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?". I'm back on program now, but it's funny that all those people who had been telling me how great I look and how awesome I am, had suddenly backed away like I had the plague. Thing is, I don't care what others think. I care what I THINK and how I FEEL. How do you get past this? Make a plan, kick yourself in the butt, and stick to it!0 -
You lost fifty pounds and you deserve respect from YOURSELF for it. No one else is going to respect you until you just start doing things to make yourself proud, not other people.
On the other hand - you know what - you ARE freaking amazing. You ARE victorious.
But if you dont believe it until other people recognize it - baby girl that is something you are gonna HAVE TO fix before you get to goal weight - or youre gonna have a whole new crop o probs
:flowerforyou:
^^^This^^^^0 -
You have done an Awesome job!! Do not let people get you down...we get soo excited to let people know what we have done and how hard we've worked to get rid of this weight...but some people are jealous or look at you like "I can do that, too"! Go ahead and try it people! Ha You've lost 50 once...so let's do it again! Keep your head held high and stay strong!
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Remember you have to do this for yourself, not anyone else! People always want to knock you down for your accomplishments, because major weightloss is hard, and not everyone has the willpower, so when someone does, people get jealous, and try to bring you down.
There is this little book called "The Four Agreements" by Miguel Ruiz (http://www.miguelruiz.com/), and I recommend it to anyone having problems with mean and discouraging comments that people make. The book explains how everything a person says is a reflection of that person, not of the person they say it about. It will change your way of thinking. It teaches you not to internalize anything a person says to you. For example, someone is in a horrid mood, and they are hating the world, and they see you and make a nasty comment... they didn't say it because you deserved it, they said it because they were in a crappy mood and needed to take it out on someone. But then you take their words to heart (as we all tend to do), and let it affect our lives and behaviour.
You lost 50 lbs, that's amazing. OWN IT. When someone says something nasty to you, just remember you lost 50lbs and they can't take that away from you. Seriously, if you want to say it "Hey I lost 50lbs what have you accomplished lately?" The answer will probably be NOTHING, and hence why they bring you down.
And just wait, it will get so much better! Wait till you lose more, wait till you reach your goal weight and see what people say then. Yes, there will always be the a**holes who criticize, but you, especially being in the public eye, will become an inspiration for people who see how you changed your life.
Good luck girl, and remember, the only opinion that counts is yours! You have to be in your own corner, because in this life the only person you can count on 100% is yourself! Love yourself, be so proud of yourself for making a change for your health, own your accomplishments, write off the setbacks (because no one is perfect!), reaffirm to yourself everyday how amazing you are, because when you change your own way of thinking about yourself, no one can touch you!
I couldn't have said it any better!! ^^^^
So many people out there make themselves feel better for putting others down. When you can put faith in your opinion alone, and not care what others think is when you find your true power!
((hugs))0 -
Haters gonna hate is unfortunately the truth I think.
I got as far as 21 pounds off this year before health and head stuff got in the way and I needed to take a break from MFP to get myself sorted. I put nearly all of it back on pretty quickly - isn't that always the way? Fight to get every pound off but can stick them on 2 at a time with no trouble!
You are doing this for you and ultimately your opinion of yourself is the one that matters x0 -
I had mine over the holidays but I keep reminding myself of those little things that make losing the weight worth it. Keep at it doll and before you binge and turn to food.STOP.Grab a pencil and paper and write down all you are feeling, or grab a paint brush and paint whatever to help you express that sorrow instead of eating to make you feel worse doll! Once you are close to your goal you can look back at how far you ahve come not just visually but mentally and emotionally chica!Good luck
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It's an awesome job.
Couple things:
You can't let others get to you. Especially if you are in show business. Some much tearing down of others happens in that field.
Another thing, you can't please others. It just can't be done. I've done acting, sports, retail, customer support, and now corporate world and let me tell you.. there is one constant.. Some people will rarely be pleased.
This journey is so much about finding yourself as it is losing weight. You have to be happy with yourself, you are the one that has to look in the mirror and live in your skin. No one else, their opinion is nice, but DOES not matter. I was doing great lost over 100lbs, then I started trying to impress others and I ended up rebounding a bit and gained around 25-28lbs in 30 days! You know what, screw (pardon language) what others think. I wanted their views of me to be something but deep down inside I just wanted to think I'm hot and handsome. I think if I can please myself (stop it sicko's who are thinking dirty on that comment) then the rest of the world will follow in line. If not, hey you can't please everyone! The most important person will be pleased with myself, and that's me.
Keep your head up, keep working hard. You got this!0 -
Just remember YOU are the most important person and who you are doing this for. If you look and feel better, f' what anybody else says. (That's for you, for ME, I"M the most important, of course
). 0 -
I am at a stand still as far as weight loss. Frustrating,but I have lost inches,keep on going,hon. This is the right place to be. Just do it the healthy way,you won't be sorry.0
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What I did, ironically enough, was didn't tell anyone I was dieting. If someone mentioned it, other than my wife, I would say "oh, really?" I didn't even start posting on MFP until I was down close to my goal. By keeping it to myself, the weight loss became more about me than anyone else, and that was what was critical. I've tried losing before with hordes of people around, and tried doing an ad hoc sort of diet where I just didn't eat as much and sort of counted what I ate, and neither worked. I would drop 10-30 pounds, then put it all back on when I became sedentary again.
So, by advice to avoid the emotional storm that can come from someone making an asinine comment, is to ignore the question entirely. And yes, weight loss in the beginning is much faster than later on. It's just a matter of discipline after a while.0 -
"Allow those you love to be your real support, all the others out there should be tiny little marshmallow balls thrown at you, if you like them, have a few (but not to many) and enjoy, if you don't like them, let them bounce off you; because their commentary is only as important as you let it be."
Very well said0 -
Ugh, weight loss really can bring out the nasty in people. When you start at a higher weight it is so easy to "poo-poo" your accomplishments, god knows I do it. And if we aren't proud and don't see it as a victory, those evil little weasels who sense any tiny bit of weakness just pounce on it. I don't think they want you to feel good about yourself because in their world it's a zero-sum game. If you're losing weight, it means they're fat.. or something. There's no real logic to it.
What I've been doing it actually googling images of things that weigh the amount I lost. I've been doing this the whole way down.. an 8 pound trout, a 20 pound vacuum cleaner, a 40 pound Terrier... I find it hard when I just think of the number.. like right now, I'll be all "pffff, 118, I still have 30 or whatever more to go, that's nothing, I'm still so heavy." But I do an image search and it turns out I've lost a Paris Hilton. It's reaaaaaaaally easy to lose perspective, but you gotta just say, forget those people, they have their own issues that makes them wanna tear you down. Rock on, let them fester in their own misery.0 -
Fortunately I havent had anyone that cruel to me but when I lost the first 30lbs 311 to 281 I couldn't see a difference in myself now that I have lost 61 I am really starting to see it and now no one can get me down! I know why I am doing this and I know what I want out of this new life style! I am a better and stronger for everything that I have gone through and so are you! Hope you are feeling better and that you are able to get right back into it!0
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This is the time to be mature. So you say: I did lose 50 lbs., but you're still ugly. ;}0
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how sad people gotta be like that...i've been my own sabatoger...
but please get back up and do it again! this time post your success here where we can positively support you and encourage....
keep it going!0 -
Ugh, I'm a HUGE binge eater - especially when my emotions com into play. It's a vicious cycle, but just know - YOU lost the weight and YOU proved to yourself that you could do it. Screw anyone who tries to put you down for that. If they don't notice, psh.. tough noogies for them. YOU are amazing and I agree with the others on this post who say you should focus purely on yourself (hey, when it comes to weight loss, i say be a little selfish!) and know that there's always people out there who're gonna hate on you for gaining/losing weight. Jealously, that's all it is.
You keep up the awesome work and know that we're here if you need some support! :flowerforyou:0 -
You have lost 50 pounds and screw what others say. Be proud of yourself! Only you can let them make you feel bad!!0
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I think you have to do this for you...not for others. People are cruel unfortunately but you can't let them get to you like that. Put up your shields, 50 pounds is nothing to snuff at.
Time to dust yourself off and get back up and on that wagon. You've done it before and you can do it again, don't blame yourself, don't feel guilty, don't live in the past, every day is a new day towards a new healthier version on yourself. You CAN do this!0 -
Firstly, as everyone else has said, losing 50lbs is an incredible achievement. I jump up and down congratulating myself when I lose 2. What you did by losing 50lbs was completely change your life. The critics love to find something to criticise - I guarantee that when you have finished losing all your weight, someone will say you're still too fat or now too thin. No one can ever be perfect for them!
It's frustrating to say, but do try to ignore them. Everyone here is right - the people who said those things are blinkered and do not realise a true achievement. If they had the self control that you had, they probably wouldn't be stuck writing those columns! They're clearly bitter...
Regardless of your setback though, you CAN bounce back. Yes, you have gained some of the weight again, but you have already shown yourself that you can lose a whopping 50lbs - if you could do it then, you can certainly do it again - and more! Just use their criticisms as fuel; the sooner you lose all your weight and look even more stunning than I'm sure you do now, you can wiggle your skinny butt at them and you will have won.
And if you ever need to b*tch about them in the meantime (sadly sometimes it really does help) then you know we're here to join in!
Keep at it and good luck!
xx0 -
I'm so sorry that happened to you
I get mad when I hear people make remarks about fat people, or saying something like, oh, she shouldn't be wearing that to the gym and etc. I'm like, how do you know that this person didn't just lose 50lbs and they may have found some new gained confidence in themselves and you peons are going to still laugh. Besides, if they are at the gym, I say kudos to them for being on the right track! People are too quick to judge. Yes it sucks. However, pick yourself back up and build yourself up to be stronger inside as well as outside and as for those *kitten*, forgetaboutit! This is your journey and your life, live it 0 -
First, let me say that 50 lbs is a great achievement, no matter what your starting point is. You should feel great about that. So celebrate your successes, and take your setbacks as learning experiences and move on from them.
That being said, there's some ugly truths you need to recognize. About 10% of people will genuinely care about your weight loss and be supportive. 40% will hate you for it, or be jealous of you, and the other 50% could care less unless there is something in it for them. That's the reality.
I don't know you, and as such, I can't speak to your mental state or capacity, but I can say this, I've been losing weight, or mentoring others for a while now, and one thing I can say is that you need to worry about you, you can't let your feelings hinge on what a bunch of strangers think. The masses are cruel, mob rule is callous and unforgiving, if you put yourself out there, expect the harshest judgement you can think of, then make it worse.
Allow those you love to be your real support, all the others out there should be tiny little marshmallow balls thrown at you, if you like them, have a few (but not to many) and enjoy, if you don't like them, let them bounce off you; because their commentary is only as important as you let it be.
Continue your journey undaunted by the comments of fools, for only a fool would allow others to rule their though.
Buy this man a beer.
As for the binging as a response... learn what an "extinction burst" is, which makes changing habits SO hard: http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/07/07/extinction-burst/0 -
Please don't be discouraged - think of the pounds you put back on as a lesson you needed to learn:
You are doing this for yourself. It is not about other people noticing, or caring, or commending you, it is about getting the satisfaction of knowing that you're healthy and in control of your body and mind.
You will *never* be able to please everybody... most days we can't please anybody so the only person you can aim to please is yourself.
When I first started MFP, at the end of hundreds of failed attempts and well over 300lbs, I had my lightbulb moment: no matter how bad it seems or how hard it is, if you just keep going the weight *has* to eventually come off. Try not to put yourself on time constraints... let it take as long as you need to feel comfortable and confident with the changes... and then it'll happen. Just. Keep. Going.
Good luck, OP. We're here with you :flowerforyou:0 -
Just tell them it's more obvious when you're naked.
Then go high-five yourself for being awesome.0 -
I'm sorry that happened to you. People can be so awful. 50 pounds is an amazing accomplishment. I hope you are able to get yourself back on track. Take it one day at a time. And try to ignore the negative.0
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the only person who can appreciate a 50 pound weight loss is another person who lost 50 pounds (or more) and YOU.
You are losing weight for YOU, for YOUR health. Screw anybody else or what they think. Are you gonna die because they don't appreciate all your efforts? no, so why do they matter?
You did the right thing to come here and brag about it, we can cheer you on, we understand how tough weight management is.
Congrats on all of your hard work and dedication!0 -
Here's the secret: I didn't change what I ate - my diary shows pizza, burgers, cake, chips, fudge, milkshakes, cheesecake, eggnog, and worse. I only changed how much. Once I knew that I COULD eat whatever I wanted, that there were no "bad" or "forbidden" foods, I didn't crave them nearly as often.
It was simple math that got me in the end, helloitsdan. GI/GO (garbage in, garbage out).
I figured out how many calories I could eat and still lose weight, and I logged Every. Damn. Bite. Before I even allowed myself to eat it. I would still find myself eating late at night, but I found the best way to deal with that was to write it up on the following day (if I ate it late Monday night, it would go on Tuesday's food diary, etc.) and if I had eaten too much Monday night, it severely restricted my diet Tuesday. I am stubborn, but it only took 4 or 5 "200 calorie days" (because I had binged on 1100 calories the night before) to get me to stop binging.
My schedule is hectic, so I set aside one day a week where I burned off any extra calories I managed to pick up. That one day was spent swimming, doing Pilates, roller skating, and spending the night boogeying on the dance floor (or, ahem, other physical activities). The only rule was "It has to be fun." Again, I planned out exactly how much time I would need to spend on each activity in order to get under my weekly calorie limit. On Exercise Day I could eat as many calories as I wanted, because I could just "work them off" that same day. (Still had to log them, though.)
Wasn't anything too magical about it, really. The hardest part was avoiding the free food at work, but I forced myself to drink two 16 oz bottles of water before I could pick something out to eat - and after 32 oz of water I'd be too full to eat more than a bite.
I know this site focuses on calories, if you could find some lower fat, lower sodium alternatives to some of the foods you're eating (sticking to the calorie limit), it might accelerate your losses. Also, many of those foods listed are high carb food which may be instigating some of your cravings. Swap some carbs for more proteins.
Forget the press...they're idiots in general...but I know they are important to your profession. What matters is you know you're making progress. Stick to the plan (make a few adjustments) and it will be more noticeable very soon. She who laughs last...0 -
That's why I never bragged about weight lost.
I just act surprise when people notice and told them it was because of work or something0 -
50 lbs is a huge accomplishment... Congrats. I think sometimes people who are around you the most don't see the changes as quickly because they adjust to your ever changing look every day. My husband doesn't notice my change as easily as someone I see only every week or so. Don't let them bring you down. You know that you have lost the weight and are feeling good about yourself. I don't think skinny people or people who only have 10 or 20 lbs to loose really "get" it. (no offense to anyone) but when you have a lot to lose it can be really intimidating and you don't see the changes as quickly even though you are working your *kitten* off. So it can seem really pointless.
but regardless what everyone around you has said KEEP IT UP! eventually they will notice the hard work you have put in and then you can tell them to kiss yours and YOU will feel better and be able to relish in the huge accomplishment you have made. 0 -
I am very proud of you! You did great! Please do tell us how we can lose 50lbs since September. Do not worry about those others, keep focusing on your end goal.0
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I started about the same weight as you and it wasn't until I had lost about 65 or 70 pounds that anyone even noticed. You have to be so proud of yourself for losing 50 pounds!! Don't let the haters get the best of you. Make them eat their words when you lose another 50. Just push yourself harder to keep losing. Don't let them win! Congratulations on losing the first 50. I know how hard it can be. You're stronger than your haters. So keep doing what you're doing and they will be the ones to feel dumb in the end. 0
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