Society's view on food

RoadsterGirlie

It crossed my mind today how effed up our society is regarding food. I eat approximately 2000 calories a day to maintain my current weight. Yet, I feel like I have to resort to "anorexic" behaviors like putting food on my plate and throwing it away later to appear normal. I would never actually do this, but I feel like if I don't put 3 servings of apple pie on my plate, people ask questions.

This thought was triggered by this how my day began:

I walked into work this morning, and they had this HUGE array of sweets in the lobby for all of this offices in the building. While that’s really nice of them to do that for us, I wouldn’t call any of what they were providing real breakfast food. It was basically different types of cakes, croissants, cream pastries, etc. NOT how I want to start out my day. All 100% sugary stuff with no nutritional value.

I really wasn’t craving it anyways, and was just looking forward to my usual Special K with blue berries. However several people stopped by my cubicle to make it a point to let me know it was out there if I wanted some. As if I could have missed it on the way in!

So I go to the bathroom about a half hour later. The bathroom is outside our office, so I have to walk by it on my way out. This HUGELY OBESE woman walked by me with this massive plate of sugar crap, talking about how much she loved chocolate.

At that point, I felt soooooo validated in my decision to not partake.

Just wanted to share. Enjoy your day.

cebreisch

"Pot calling the kettle black" comes to mind....

nanainkent

So I go to the bathroom about a half hour later. The bathroom is outside our office, so I have to walk by it on my way out. This HUGELY OBESE woman walked by me with this massive plate of sugar crap, talking about how much she loved chocolate.

At that point, I felt soooooo validated in my decision to not partake.

That statement was mean....And speaks volumes about your character, or lack there of

Luvr2502

I agree. People that partake in bad eating habbits, like to see other people do the same for validation. It is just like during the holidays. People want to eat as much or whatever they want and not feel guilty, so they look over everyones plate and if there is someone with a healthy portion of food, they will comments or try to get that person to eat more. Example: "It's the holidays. You can take a vacation from healthy eating on the holidays."

Acg67

Yeah it's not possible they were trying to be nice and aware you if tasty treats in the office. You're so much better than them for it eating awesome pastries or maybe you hate your taste buds

EEpling89

Wow. I wish people would just absorb the overall message of the post instead of picking apart the details.

Anyway, I do agree that society's views of food are completely screwed up. My mom, my brother and his girlfriend and my husband and I ate hibachi the other night. I ordered avocado sushi and hibachi veggies. It was around 300 cals. Everyone, including the chef, was picking on me and making fun of my "diet". It was embarrassing and frustrating. Everyone else got the chicken and steak meal with ALL the fixin's and cooked in butter and oil, which easily totals 1,500 cals, if not more. Apparently, that's what you have to eat to be "normal".

NocturnalGirl

So basically, society's views on food are "effed up" because they provided you some treats and were just kindly letting you know and so you felt like you needed to resort to "anorexic behaviours"?

Flamenquero

We live in the land of plenty. It is hard to resist. The stuff is all around us, fast food, etc. It's also a social thing. People gather and eat. Festivities invite more eating, we feast often. However, I don't begrudge this over the holidays. It's our own behavior during the rest of the year that lands us to the unhealthy habits that pack on the pounds and the disease. Moderation throughout the year and individual discipline are the key. Then we can feast without guilt.

@RoadsterGirlie. I think you are okay.

BurtHuttz

I am frustrated at coworkers that constantly attempt to induce me to eat things because they're eating them too. I'm even more irritated by the morbidly obese one who constantly says how I "can afford it". I get *kitten* about serving sizes even though I'm on a 2500+ calorie diet.

So yeah, it's irritating when obese people give me *kitten* about what I eat. It's irritating to see dangerously unhealthy people indulging in self destructive behavior. It's irritating to hear them relishing their destruction, and it's irritating seeing them try to induce other people to develop bad habits.

schondell

I guess it depends on what your environment is.. If someone in my family took three slices of apple pie my mom would probably tell them to slow down!! I totally agree though, if I'm eating lunch friends will often ask if a caesar salad, cup of yogurt and bottled water is "all I'm eating??"

Acg67

I am frustrated at coworkers that constantly attempt to induce me to eat things because they're eating them too. I'm even more irritated by the morbidly obese one who constantly says how I "can afford it". I get *kitten* about serving sizes even though I'm on a 2500+ calorie diet.

So yeah, it's irritating when obese people give me *kitten* about what I eat. It's irritating to see dangerously unhealthy people indulging in self destructive behavior. It's irritating to hear them relishing their destruction, and it's irritating seeing them try to induce other people to develop bad habits.

Lololol you can't fit a breakfast pastry into your cals once in a while? Gonna get diabeetus overnight?

BurtHuttz

Lololol you can't fit a breakfast pastry into your cals once in a while? Gonna get diabeetus overnight?

LOLOL how about you eat what you want to and I eat what I want to? LOLOLOL

Acg67

Lololol you can't fit a breakfast pastry into your cals once in a while? Gonna get diabeetus overnight?

LOLOL how about you eat what you want to and I eat what I want to? LOLOLOL

You make it sound like you're better than others for eating the way you do

vegan__girl

Just say "Thank you, I saw them" or "No, thank you" and move on. You all act like you're in middle school.

poedunk65

Great job lady!!!

I too am amazed now that I eat healthy how people just stuff food into their faces. Around my house I am known as the foos nazi now. lol.

Keep it up!

poedunk65

I think all of you "negatives" are missing the point and this young lady does not deserve the crap you are spewing!

BurtHuttz

You make it sound like you're better than others for eating the way you do

Infer what you want to infer, your reading comprehension is not my concern.

Siege_Tank

I am frustrated at coworkers that constantly attempt to induce me to eat things because they're eating them too. I'm even more irritated by the morbidly obese one who constantly says how I "can afford it". I get *kitten* about serving sizes even though I'm on a 2500+ calorie diet.

So yeah, it's irritating when obese people give me *kitten* about what I eat. It's irritating to see dangerously unhealthy people indulging in self destructive behavior. It's irritating to hear them relishing their destruction, and it's irritating seeing them try to induce other people to develop bad habits.

^^ Yeah. This. For christ's sake, when's it going to be "NOT OKAY" to be overweight?

It's ok to have one treat. it's NOT ok to have a plate full of treats.
For people to offer treats to others is pushy behavior that needs to be shamed.
People who are overweight relish in others looking the same as them.
Misery Loves Company. If everyone wants to be miserable at the same level, let's all do zumba and feel silly TOGETHER!!

I love you OP!

Danilynn1975

No, I can't. sugary stuff really messes with my body. I am trying to lose wieght so I don't end up full fledged diabetic.

Breads and things like it have been cut completely from my menu of food choices. they are trigger me foods. I'm really glad you can eat that stuff and not worry about it. But I like the way I feel now without it.

Siege_Tank

Just say "Thank you, I saw them" or "No, thank you" and move on. You all act like you're in middle school.

No not really, people are posting on how impolite we are about having opinions that conflict with overweight people. You obviously haven't had much experience with a pushy mother or grandmother shaming you into finishing what was on your plate, even though you're full.

The people who are reacting strongly to this post are the ones, like me, who have a very hard time saying no to food. We are tired of feeling guilty for being different, we are tired of fighting, and we are tired of having to be strong in the face of people we know, love, and care about making us feel like we are HORRIBLE for making choices about our diet that MIGHT upset our friends and family, because of the way THEY eat.

That made more sense in my head...

141by2016

The facts are a lot more complicated than this thread suggests. There are social, physiological, and socioeconomic forces at play when it comes to obesity in general, and yes, obese people may feel more comfortable around other obese people, but why? Well, when I was morbidly obese (not that I am thin by any means now) people would make comments, look at me funny, and often tell me I'd be so pretty if I'd just lose the weight. No wonder I preferred fat friends who didn't judge me. When I started to lose weight I noticed some of the thinking patterns I hear here: look at all the gross food that person eats! Why don't they just stop? Fat is disgusting why don't they do something about it? Like former smokers who can't stand the smell or recovering alcoholics who can't be around drinkers, former fat people can sometimes be the harshest judges of obese people. Just remember: YOU WERE THEM! They are just not where you are yet, and you should be here to be a good example, not a judge. Maybe by being a good example in your office you can encourage change in others. Or explain to whoever does the food in your office that you'd like to see some fresh fruit or veg around. Start a lunch time walking group or weight loss challenge in your office, but sitting in judgment doesn't help anyone but maybe your hyper inflated ego.

Good job on making positive choices for you though OP! You win at self control!

Mokey41

I don't care if they stick all kinds of treats out, what bugs me is the comments about not eating the treats or better yet the ones that tell you they're trying so hard to lose weight as they chow down on a 1,000 calorie blob of sugar, cream and crap. Our society is effed up in it's view of food. We're so accustomed to people being overweight and eating too much that if someone is just a normal size we're labeled as skinny. Being fat is not normal and gorging on plates of crap food is not normal. I'm probably being horribly judgmental, bigoted, unkind, whatever label you want to use, but when I see an obese person shoving food in their mouth it actually makes me gag. I can't help but wonder what is so effed up in their life that they have to stuff themselves with food to be "happy".

Luvr2502

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^^ Yeah. This. For christ's sake, when's it going to be "NOT OKAY" to be overweight?

It's ok to have one treat. it's NOT ok to have a plate full of treats.
For people to offer treats to others is pushy behavior that needs to be shamed.
People who are overweight relish in others looking the same as them.
Misery Loves Company. If everyone wants to be miserable at the same level, let's all do zumba and feel silly TOGETHER!!

I love you OP!

True. This story wasn't about her being mean, it was about how the people in her office were eating and trying to persuade her to eat unhealthy. You people are making the author of the discussion out to be a monster. After a few people come up to you about eating crap you don't want to eat, it's annoying. I'm sure she did tell them no thank you.

MrsMohawk

OMG you're a RUDE lil girl!

BurtHuttz

Like former smokers who can't stand the smell or recovering alcoholics who can't be around drinkers, former fat people can sometimes be the harshest judges of obese people.

Using your metaphor - - everyone in the office knows you're a non-smoker, perhaps have quit or perhaps never were, but they constantly offer you cigarettes.

It's reasonable to be upset by people who behave that way. Especially if you, like I, have explained time and again why you won't be having face-cake for sally's birthday.
"Oh, no thanks, that's not in my diet."
'Oh come on, you can afford it!'
"Thank you but I don't want any."
'So-and-so cooked it! Well, okay, but it's REALLY good!!'

I've had that conversation probably ten times in the last six months at my office. I know EXACTLY what the OP is talking about when she takes food just to get people to leave her alone, and then throws it out.

141by2016

I get where you are coming from, trust me. If one more person asks me why I don't eat the pizza at the lunch time lectures I might scream, but every time someone does I calmly explain that I don't do well on a standard diet and I have worked to figure out what does work for my body. The environment is a bit different because I am in med school and everyone kind of gets it, but I have made it very public that I can't "afford it" not matter how home made or tasty it might be. My point really is that the overweight people in your life are probably not being malicious, and may be in such a mental state that they don't see what they do as a problem or as abnormal.

As for the ex-smoker analogy, I was more referring to the OP's pride and judgement of the "hugely obese" woman walking by - not trying to get her to do anything - who was talking about her love of chocolate. What does her life choice or personal delusion have anything to do with any of us?

RoadsterGirlie

Thanks everybody who gave me support in this thread and the kind words.

You guys are my heroes.

To all the negative people - you wouldn't be on MFP if you thought being fat was okay.

quirkytizzy

Who gives a **** what other people eat? Making moral judgement on that is just cruel - and lord knows you would have been hurt had someone had that thought about YOU before you decided to start being healthy.

Size should not be a moral judgement - and neither should food. That's not a healthy way to approach a body.

RoadsterGirlie

And this post was not supposed to be about this specific woman, although I realize many people see it this way. This nameless woman is similar to people I see day in and day out at the grocery store/work/mall/vacation/pretty much every where. I see hundreds just like her each week.

If this were a one time thing, I would not have thought to even vent - but obesity is every where and you can't tell me that 99% of these cases are due to a bad thyroid or PCOS.

I was already annoyed due to bad food being pushed on me yesterday, and this topped it off.

RoadsterGirlie

To the person who suggested this is the mentality of an ex-smoker; you are spot on, and I'm not going to argue with you one bit on that.

I'm sure that while one is a smoker, they hardly ever notice others' cigarette smoke. However, once they quit, anywhere they go if they smell it, it feels like it's being shoved in their face (even if this is not the case.)

This is exactly how I feel when it comes to unhealthy food.

Siege_Tank

To the person who suggested this is the mentality of an ex-smoker; you are spot on, and I'm not going to argue with you one bit on that.

I'm sure that while one is a smoker, they hardly ever notice others' cigarette smoke. However, once they quit, anywhere they go if they smell it, it feels like it's being shoved in their face (even if this is not the case.)

This is exactly how I feel when it comes to unhealthy food.

I'm going to go out on a limb with the OP here and say that I owe a lot of my calorie cutting abilities and my diet control to my pure, unadulterated hatred of myself and being overweight, and every person out there angers me who spouts "it's just how god made you" as if they have no control over their actions.

Might not be healthy to use hatred to fuel a desire to refrain from eating, but conversely, being obese is less healthy.

I *AM* an ex smoker, and I can't stand the smelly volcano people. If it wasn't a cloud of doom floating around, making everyone smell it that would be one thing. It's akin to someone standing next to the entrance of a building spraying a can of stink bomb spray. In fact it's not akin, it's EXACTLY that.