Society's view on food
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The facts are a lot more complicated than this thread suggests. There are social, physiological, and socioeconomic forces at play when it comes to obesity in general, and yes, obese people may feel more comfortable around other obese people, but why? Well, when I was morbidly obese (not that I am thin by any means now) people would make comments, look at me funny, and often tell me I'd be so pretty if I'd just lose the weight. No wonder I preferred fat friends who didn't judge me. When I started to lose weight I noticed some of the thinking patterns I hear here: look at all the gross food that person eats! Why don't they just stop? Fat is disgusting why don't they do something about it? Like former smokers who can't stand the smell or recovering alcoholics who can't be around drinkers, former fat people can sometimes be the harshest judges of obese people. Just remember: YOU WERE THEM! They are just not where you are yet, and you should be here to be a good example, not a judge. Maybe by being a good example in your office you can encourage change in others. Or explain to whoever does the food in your office that you'd like to see some fresh fruit or veg around. Start a lunch time walking group or weight loss challenge in your office, but sitting in judgment doesn't help anyone but maybe your hyper inflated ego.
Good points. We need to be kinder and supportive versus sitting in judgment on others and their choices. Pointing out to management that a healthier breakfast would be a better choice (or at least a mixture) and could result in more wellness for their employees (which directly affects their bottom line) would have been more useful in this situation. Not to mention that it would have provided choices for all employees and encouraged them to make healthy choices.0 -
Lololol you can't fit a breakfast pastry into your cals once in a while? Gonna get diabeetus overnight?
LOLOL how about you eat what you want to and I eat what I want to? LOLOLOL
Exactly, so why don't you follow your own advice and not sit here and vent your frustrations about people making bad choices?
) Let the fatties enjoy their binges, and you enjoy your fitness. The world will sort itself out without you judging everyone 
This is rich. A guy on a fitness website with twenty pictures of his six-pack abs makes fun of my diet. I tell him to mind his business and you reply to me to let 'the fatties enjoy their binges'. Then you have the audacity to call me judgmental when you don't know a thing about me. What a horrible person you are.0 -
I agree with the ops view. Not partaking in office food seems to offend people and can be challenging for those of us who are struggling.
I wonder how this thread would have gone had the op posted successfully avoiding these wonderful treats as a NSV and left off the comment about the fat woman. Though I didn't view it as judgemental.
To those that say one treat is OK and any one has room in their diet to occasionally fit one in. Maybe once i get down to a healthy weight that may be true but right now there is no room in my daily calories to replace a meal worth of calories with a single sweat treat. To me that's also like offering just one potato chip. I grabbed a handful of chips today. First chips I've had in nearly 3 months and it took all my willpower to not go back to the kitchen grab the bag and a tub of dip and eat till they were gone. I don't do well with moderation which is part of what got me big in the first place. Steady progress has been my biggest motivator.0 -
It's ok to be fat. It's ok to be thin. Both, when taken to the extreme, have consequences. I'm personally losing weight to improve my self-confidence and health, but if my coworkers want to pig out, cool. Their choice. I'm not going to treat them any differently for it. I'm certainly not going to think I'm better at them because of it. My weight is my business, their weight is theirs.
But despite the OP's (and other posters') insinuations, I understand their point. While I don't treat others any differently for having a full plate, I expect the same from them when I have a small plate. If they're overweight, that's fine. I'm trying not to be. That's fine, too. No reason for anyone, me or them, to feel guilty.0 -
What do you mean by "society"? Seems like such a blanket statement to me.0
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My eating may be a tiny bit "disorded" in that I log every thing, even a packet of artificial sweetener or a stick of gum etc. but I totally get your point about pressure from obese friends/ relatives/ co-workers putting the pressure on to eat junk foods just like they do. My mom loves to accuse me of being anorexic, while I almost never eat less than 1700 calories a day.
People will passively or actively try their darnedest to drag you down to their level. Stay strong, smile and just tell yourself that you are making healthy choices for YOU and people who love you. :flowerforyou:
Why not correct the disordered behaviors?
Because the behavior is currently beneficial. My discomfort at being judged for obsessively logging is trumped by my progress toward a better and healthier me. Everyone has their neuroses, logging what I eat is mine.
I have a co worker who has an oral hygiene habit bordering on OCD. He's got really nice, healthy teeth, so no harm, no foul.0 -
Certainly for me and many others in society the issue is that things which should be "a treat" are a daily food.
As a treat they're fine - being eaten daily it causes problems which has led me to the anorexic-like behaviour of recording my calories.0 -
Reading through this thread, I wonder if everyone would be okay with a similar situation where the OP worked with people who smoked and they would come to her desk several times a day to ask her if she would like a cigarette and would constantly bring free cigarettes into work that everyone can partake in if they chose to.
Metabolic syndrome is just as dangerous as using a substance like tobacco. You don't have to be overweight to develop metabolic syndrome, either.
The abundance of junk food is harming our culture. Obesity is not just a public health issue. There are very few young people who even qualify for military service due to obesity related issues. Obesity has now become an issue of national security.
There has been study after study demonstrating the health risks of being overweight and obese. THAT'S WHY I'M HERE! Everyone in my family is obese, and everyone in my family has issues with diabetes, hypertension, depression, heart disease, as well as joint pain and general discomfort.
My point is: If the OP were being offered cigarettes EVERYDAY by her coworkers, would you be so cavalier about her frustration at trying to stay healthy?0 -
I am very process oriented. That said, I'm also not a very patient person. If you try to deviate me from a process that I have in my head (my diet for example), I'm going to get annoyed.
I'm not just like this about food, but pretty much everything. That's just the way I'm wired. Ask my mom about it.
Well there you go, that's a valid acknowledgement. But there is always going to be temptation, whether it's your co-workers or billboards or the horribly wonderful aroma drifting across the street to you from some restaurant on a summer evening. But just try not to take it as You vs. The World, where The World is a devious force trying to knock you off your healthy path. We live in an age of luxury and plenty, and now rather than eat as much as we can as often as we can because food is scarce, we have to go against thousands of years of evolution and ONLY eat as much as we need to survive, and eat healthy, and somehow make those foods tantalizing enough so that we actually want to eat them instead of the bad stuff. Unfortunately food is not only a hobby and an art, it is a way of life. Some are brought into the world of food from a healthy perspective, but most of us aren't. You *should* feel good about yourself for re-routing your lifestyle (and inspiring others to do the same), but in the end, no one can be forced to comply with your processes, just like you can't be forced to comply with theirs. So you just gotta roll with it.
You are so spot on with this. I do a lot of times feel like it's me vs the world, and I know that's not the case in the majority of situations. Thanks for this.0 -
Reading through this thread, I wonder if everyone would be okay with a similar situation where the OP worked with people who smoked and they would come to her desk several times a day to ask her if she would like a cigarette and would constantly bring free cigarettes into work that everyone can partake in if they chose to.
Metabolic syndrome is just as dangerous as using a substance like tobacco. You don't have to be overweight to develop metabolic syndrome, either.
The abundance of junk food is harming our culture. Obesity is not just a public health issue. There are very few young people who even qualify for military service due to obesity related issues. Obesity has now become an issue of national security.
There has been study after study demonstrating the health risks of being overweight and obese. THAT'S WHY I'M HERE! Everyone in my family is obese, and everyone in my family has issues with diabetes, hypertension, depression, heart disease, as well as joint pain and general discomfort.
My point is: If the OP were being offered cigarettes EVERYDAY by her coworkers, would you be so cavalier about her frustration at trying to stay healthy?
This is so, so true. That's why when somebody brought up the ex-smoker scenario, I really identified with it. It's how I feel.0 -
I'm certain some people have been annoyed with me over the years because as a 25+ year healthy vegetarian I've refused to conform to the typical western bad eating habits. I think food pushers are just as bad as drug dealers. I don't put it on my plate, I don't feel bad, they should feel bad. Crap food does not = love. Pushing people to eat fat dripping sugar coated processed junk kills. If they get mad that I refuse to kill myself in this manner too bad, it's on them. Maybe this sounds a wee harsh, but I do always say "no" with a smile and follow it up with a "thank you". 0
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Certainly for me and many others in society the issue is that things which should be "a treat" are a daily food.
As a treat they're fine - being eaten daily it causes problems which has led me to the anorexic-like behaviour of recording my calories.
I don't think it's anorexic behavior to log your calories. I log mine, and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. Anorexic behavior is taking food to seem like your eating, and throwing it out later. That thought had crossed my mind yesterday with the pastries, and I was so horribly disgusted by it. I shouldn't have to think like that, when I eat 2000 calories a day.0 -
My eating may be a tiny bit "disorded" in that I log every thing, even a packet of artificial sweetener or a stick of gum etc. but I totally get your point about pressure from obese friends/ relatives/ co-workers putting the pressure on to eat junk foods just like they do. My mom loves to accuse me of being anorexic, while I almost never eat less than 1700 calories a day.
People will passively or actively try their darnedest to drag you down to their level. Stay strong, smile and just tell yourself that you are making healthy choices for YOU and people who love you. :flowerforyou:
Why not correct the disordered behaviors?
Because the behavior is currently beneficial. My discomfort at being judged for obsessively logging is trumped by my progress toward a better and healthier me. Everyone has their neuroses, logging what I eat is mine.
I have a co worker who has an oral hygiene habit bordering on OCD. He's got really nice, healthy teeth, so no harm, no foul.
You called it disordered, not me. I can tell you that NEVER have I logged a piece of gum or packet of splenda and I don't feel the need to.0 -
You said what I would've, but SO much more eloquently.The facts are a lot more complicated than this thread suggests. There are social, physiological, and socioeconomic forces at play when it comes to obesity in general, and yes, obese people may feel more comfortable around other obese people, but why? Well, when I was morbidly obese (not that I am thin by any means now) people would make comments, look at me funny, and often tell me I'd be so pretty if I'd just lose the weight. No wonder I preferred fat friends who didn't judge me. When I started to lose weight I noticed some of the thinking patterns I hear here: look at all the gross food that person eats! Why don't they just stop? Fat is disgusting why don't they do something about it? Like former smokers who can't stand the smell or recovering alcoholics who can't be around drinkers, former fat people can sometimes be the harshest judges of obese people. Just remember: YOU WERE THEM! They are just not where you are yet, and you should be here to be a good example, not a judge. Maybe by being a good example in your office you can encourage change in others. Or explain to whoever does the food in your office that you'd like to see some fresh fruit or veg around. Start a lunch time walking group or weight loss challenge in your office, but sitting in judgment doesn't help anyone but maybe your hyper inflated ego.
Good job on making positive choices for you though OP! You win at self control!0 -
stick to your healthy habits
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what's wrong with that? I think they were just being nice and that lady was just expressing what she felt. maybe you could have told them you're on diet.0
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what's wrong with that? I think they were just being nice and that lady was just expressing what she felt. maybe you could have told them you're on diet.
You know, it's pretty sad that when people are seen eating healthy and declining junk food they are viewed as "being on a diet" but when people are shoveling crap into their mouths that is viewed as "normal". This is what is wrong with society's thinking and why there is such a huge obesity epidemic!0 -
Yeah that's the thing - I'm not on a diet at all. This is just part of my lifestyle...0
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what's wrong with that? I think they were just being nice and that lady was just expressing what she felt. maybe you could have told them you're on diet.
You know, it's pretty sad that when people are seen eating healthy and declining junk food they are viewed as "being on a diet" but when people are shoveling crap into their mouths that is viewed as "normal". This is what is wrong with society's thinking and why there is such a huge obesity epidemic!
This.
Plus, if you even mention the "d" word, everyone will ask you which one you're on and then proceed to give you their "opinion" on it.0 -
Oh jeez, if I were to tell them I was on a diet, I would be laughed at... lol
I can only imagine...0 -
Hey!
Not to hi-jack the thread (necessarily), but I think this is very relevant...while we are debating on "I'm right, you're wrong, you're rude, I'm not...I just read this thread and THIS is so, ummmm....sobering shall we say. PLEASE take a second and read this, and you'll see what I mean--it REALLY puts things/matters like this into one's proper perspective (at least it does for me)
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/809951-my-friend-died0 -
I am frustrated at coworkers that constantly attempt to induce me to eat things because they're eating them too. I'm even more irritated by the morbidly obese one who constantly says how I "can afford it". I get *kitten* about serving sizes even though I'm on a 2500+ calorie diet.
So yeah, it's irritating when obese people give me *kitten* about what I eat. It's irritating to see dangerously unhealthy people indulging in self destructive behavior. It's irritating to hear them relishing their destruction, and it's irritating seeing them try to induce other people to develop bad habits.
Agree.
I do not make fun of people for making poor diet choices, so it does get to me when people are consistently poking at me to have just a bit, or one "won't hurt". I think it has become the 'norm' to indulge in unhealthy food in social situations, and when someone is not partaking- they stand out. They are then pressured to try and succumb to their level as to not make them feel guilty for the treats being indulged in. It's the same as being the sober guy at the party a lot of the times, in my opinion. Anyways, not to say I won't indulge from time to time. It's just a rare occasion, and if I was to have "just a bit" every single time I was offered a treat... Heck, I'd be having cookies and cake nearly every single day.0 -
Oh jeez, if I were to tell them I was on a diet, I would be laughed at... lol
I can only imagine...
Exactly! "Because you're so skinny". :mad:Not to hi-jack the thread (necessarily), but I think this is very relevant...while we are debating on "I'm right, you're wrong, you're rude, I'm not...I just read this thread and THIS is so, ummmm....sobering shall we say. PLEASE take a second and read this, and you'll see what I mean--it REALLY puts things/matters like this into one's proper perspective (at least it does for me)
Yep, an old man died. Incidentally, I have an 11 year old nephew dying from leukemia but that's not what we're talking about here though.0 -
You all must be better than me, because there are times that I'm judgemental. I'm not proud of it, but that's just the way it is. I understand where you're coming from OP. I work with an obese woman who puts about half a cup or more of peanut butter on her sandwich. If you try and explain to them how many calories they're consuming you come across as judgemental, if you keep it to yourself and feel proud that you don't do that you're judgemental. Just because you don't voice it to someone else like the OP did doesn't mean that you're not judging someone else. The OP didn't say anything to the woman, THAT would be mean. Coming on here and voicing what she was thinking doesn't make her a mean person. It may not be a popular view, but not all of them are.0
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lol @ the people who were offended by this. Seriously, lighten up. What the OP said wasn't rude or mean at all. You guys are reading WAY too much into it. It's not rude or mean to notice that someone is fat and to think to yourself that you're happy you made a lifestyle change and that you aren't obese like that woman anymore. Did she make the woman feel weird or bad about eating those things? NO. She thought it IN HER HEAD. Unless that woman is psychic, she has no clue what the OP was thinking.
Seriously, I think a lot of you missed her point COMPLETELY. All she was saying was that it sucks when you're trying to change your eating habits and people make you feel weird for doing so. When I was overweight no one had anything to say about the junk I ate but now that I try to eat healthily people are constantly poking fun at me for my choices and trying to make me feel guilty for not partaking. That's all she was trying to say and I have no clue how you guys got some weird "She thinks she's better than fat people" message out of the post lol. On top of that, the majority of the people that criticized her are hypocrites!! Do you not realize that you are being rude and judgmental by calling her names? To the people that criticized her profile...WTF? What's wrong with her liking her inner thigh gap? lol I like the fact that I can see my hipbones now. SO WHAT? Am I anorexic? No. Do I think I'm better than people who can't see their hipbones? NO. You guys need to calm the *kitten* down lol.
lol sorry for ranting....0 -
My eating may be a tiny bit "disorded" in that I log every thing, even a packet of artificial sweetener or a stick of gum etc. but I totally get your point about pressure from obese friends/ relatives/ co-workers putting the pressure on to eat junk foods just like they do. My mom loves to accuse me of being anorexic, while I almost never eat less than 1700 calories a day.
People will passively or actively try their darnedest to drag you down to their level. Stay strong, smile and just tell yourself that you are making healthy choices for YOU and people who love you. :flowerforyou:
Why not correct the disordered behaviors?
Because the behavior is currently beneficial. My discomfort at being judged for obsessively logging is trumped by my progress toward a better and healthier me. Everyone has their neuroses, logging what I eat is mine.
I have a co worker who has an oral hygiene habit bordering on OCD. He's got really nice, healthy teeth, so no harm, no foul.
You called it disordered, not me. I can tell you that NEVER have I logged a piece of gum or packet of splenda and I don't feel the need to.
Well, no one is perfect. I wish you much luck on your journey. 0 -
Sure, plaingirly.
It may sound cliche, but the five to six small meals a day has really helped me. When I was in WL mode, I was eating about 1400 calories a day, and exercising 4 to 5x a week for an hour to Jillian Michaels. I don't eat back what I've burned.
I have tried to use exercise only for years to get the weight off, with little or no results. I think it's a bonus for staying healthy, but not for weight loss.
I follow Weight Watchers, and the big thing that also helped me is getting in what they call the "Good Health Guidelines." Getting in 4 to 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day, 2 dairy servings, 8 glasses of water, 2 to 3 servings of protein, and of course, exercise. These items will keep you fuller, longer on fewer calories and will ensure you get enough nutrients while you are losing weight.
I hit maintenance almost a year ago, and now can get away with 2000 calories a day, plus a bit extra on the weekend. I still exercise 4 to 5x a week just because it feels good. I believe it also helped keeping the stretch marks to a minimum, and I have no excess skin (which may be genetic - my mom doesn't exercise and also has no excess skin).
Also, don't let one bad day derail you. I had a huge tuna fish sandwich and fries today, but again, it's the weekend, so I allow myself some treats every now and then. Don't be afraid to allow yourself some treats - just don't go overboard.
Thank you!
I was confused as to whether I should eat back my exercise calories - seems like a lot to eat. But I never counted calories when I was eating lots of junk and rubbish.
Just watched an advertisement on television for Jillian Michaels Body Revolution which looks fab but I think it would be too tough for me. Plus it is £99!!
I know that people say that they exercise so that they can eat what they want but I would have to exercise all day every day to balance out what I was eating!
Those food guidelines sound good - I am new to calorie counting and am trying to eat consciously and not emotionally. I never realised how badly I was eating - it just seemed normal. Everyone was having a big sandwich, crisps and fizzy pop for lunch every day.
I am working on not seeing one bad meal as a reason for a full bad and that one bad day doesn't mean giving up on the whole week. Tough though! I always want instant results!0
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