Need help from sarcastic people!

RubyRed8067
RubyRed8067 Posts: 301
in Chit-Chat
I have to write a birthday note to a quasi "friend" of mine that needs to sound somewhat meaningful, but not too much. Something more than "Happy Birthday", but not a bunch of sappy crap.

Ideas please, and don't hold back....this is a no-present bd too. Not a lot of $$ to spare.
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Replies

  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    I would just write "Happy Birthday. I was going to buy you a gift, but decided not to."

    ..But, it's your friend, you should know what to write better than any of us.
  • Krys_140
    Krys_140 Posts: 648 Member
    I would just write "Happy Birthday. I was going to buy you a gift, but decided not to."

    ..But, it's your friend, you should know what to write better than any of us.
    ^^^this
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    JBU \m/
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
    "They say it's your birthday....since Im not a Beatle, this is all you get."
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Tell them YOU know that THEY know YOU are NOT a good friend and that YOU just got them a cheap card.
    Oh and have a bunch of strangers sign it for you.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    "You didn't die for a year, congratulations on your amazing accomplishment."
  • dinosnopro
    dinosnopro Posts: 2,177 Member
    "Happy motherfunkin Birthday".........That one always gets me
  • Bumdrahp
    Bumdrahp Posts: 1,314 Member
    Tell them YOU know that THEY know YOU are NOT a good friend and that YOU just got them a cheap card.
    Oh and have a bunch of strangers sign it for you.

    LMAOOOOO!!! Having strangers sign the card is GOLDEN!!!!!!!!!!
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    Ask Scott. I'm sure he'll be glad to help.
  • _skittybang
    _skittybang Posts: 970 Member
    If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
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  • RubyRed8067
    RubyRed8067 Posts: 301
    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
    OH joy...you're still here.
  • classycouture
    classycouture Posts: 888 Member
    "Facebook reminded me it was your birthday."
  • laughingdani
    laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
    Write....

    "I was too lazy to come up with something creative. I'm going to need you to laugh right now so that everyone in the room thinks I wrote something awesome."
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    I had this very long heartfelt post about how you should be who you are, not worry about what others think, try to have a thick skin and not allow other people's words to affect you so much.

    Then I realized you were asking for assistance from sarcastic people.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Life has bumped us together, and the randomness of the cosmos has designated the date of your birth. Enjoy it.
    Perhaps the universe will shake things up and bring us further along in our knowledge and enjoyment of each other.
    Who knows.
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  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    I have to write a birthday note to a quasi "friend" of mine that needs to sound somewhat meaningful, but not too much. Something more than "Happy Birthday", but not a bunch of sappy crap.

    Ideas please, and don't hold back....this is a no-present bd too. Not a lot of $$ to spare.

    Happy birthday....Hope the happiness lasts as long as the Syphillis you got from that hooker in Tijuana.
  • laughingdani
    laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.

    How about...

    "Happy Birthday, liar"
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    Happy Birthday!! If the Maya are correct, we have 18 days left to live...if i were you, i would spend those days drunk.

    ETA: I just read your post about the canceled trip. I wouldn't even get her a card. TBH, I wouldn't be in contact with her at all anymore.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.
    Ah, OK. I was wondering what you meant by typing "friend" in quotes, preceded by "quasi" in your original post.

    Now I see that you simply misspelled "lying *kitten*" - sometimes autocorrect can be tricky on smart phones.
  • dsmpunk
    dsmpunk Posts: 262 Member
    Good luck getting help from us.
  • BlackStarDeceiver
    BlackStarDeceiver Posts: 590 Member
    datable-beard-man-meme-generator-i-m-gonna-cut-you-up-a-piece-of-delicious-birthday-cake-911b7a.jpg
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.

    Happy Birthday, or did you lie about that too *****? oh BTW....Continental called, they want their mile high club card back since you didn't actually go.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    On her birthday tell her you forgot her card and you'll bring it the next day. The next day, hand her a piece of notebook paper with "Happy Birthday" scribbled on it.

    Inside it says: I looked at some really nice cards for you at the store, but all my money is tied up in a trip I couldn't take so here's something special and hand made.

    PS: You look old.

    Then sign it and use glitter and hearts.
  • Skittlez_
    Skittlez_ Posts: 95
    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.


    "Since you lied and basically screwed me out of a grand, all I got you for your birthday was this lousy card. Have a great birthday"
  • Charlie003
    Charlie003 Posts: 1,333 Member
    I bought these really nice boots for you, for your birthday, then I realized that they looked better on me. ( But I guess you would need to buy some nice boots).
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    photocopy your receipts from airline, etc., write "Happy Birthday" on them.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I have to write a birthday note to a quasi "friend" of mine that needs to sound somewhat meaningful, but not too much. Something more than "Happy Birthday", but not a bunch of sappy crap.

    Ideas please, and don't hold back....this is a no-present bd too. Not a lot of $$ to spare.
    You're giving a b-day card to someone you don't like and can't even suck it up enough to say something nice?

    Don't give her a card. Or just buy something generic and sign your name and be done with it. If I were this friend. I would prefer you didn't bother.

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