Need help from sarcastic people!

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135

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  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    The best is the psych-out. You write it as if it contains a sentiment but it is merely an acknowledgement of fact.


    "It's your birthday!"

    sign your name.

    Edit: note - for this to work, the birthday card cannot have sentiments in it already. The plainest "Birthday" card you can find.
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    Happy birthday, how does it feel to be one year closer to death?
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    I gave my brother-in-law a birthday card that said "Happy Birthday! Go out and buy yourself something nice." There was no money in the card.
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
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    Tell them YOU know that THEY know YOU are NOT a good friend and that YOU just got them a cheap card.
    Oh and have a bunch of strangers sign it for you.

    LMAOOOOO!!! Having strangers sign the card is GOLDEN!!!!!!!!!!


    hahaha
  • My1985Freckles
    My1985Freckles Posts: 1,039 Member
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    "You didn't die for a year, congratulations on your amazing accomplishment."

    OMG!!!! This is the funniest thing EVER!!!!!!!!!
  • CaptChad75
    CaptChad75 Posts: 115
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    " I was at the museum this morning and was admiring the dinosaurs when it hit me that you had a birthday coming up."
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    photocopy your receipts from airline, etc., write "Happy Birthday" on them.

    I like this one. I just saw your reason for calling her "friend".
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    Just write "happy birthday" on her facebook wall. She doesnt deserve a card.
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    photocopy your receipts from airline, etc., write "Happy Birthday" on them.

    I like this one
  • iqnas
    iqnas Posts: 445 Member
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    "Facebook reminded me it was your birthday."

    This.
  • Krys_140
    Krys_140 Posts: 648 Member
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    "Ah, another year gone. At least we'll always have Costa Rica!"
  • CaptChad75
    CaptChad75 Posts: 115
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    How about just a picture of you wearing a happy birthday hat holding a margarita in one hand and a middle finger on the other. When you turn it over it just says "sometimes words just aren't enough"
  • cleofatra
    cleofatra Posts: 3
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    "Happy Birthday. You owe me $1,000."
  • carryingon
    carryingon Posts: 609 Member
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    In these situations my dad will always draw a nice picture on a paper bag that a card would come in with a little note that says "Times are tough.Times are hard. Here's your ******* Birthday Card! Everyone seems to love it. They keep them:ohwell:
  • RavenBeauty87
    RavenBeauty87 Posts: 83 Member
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    "You didn't die for a year, congratulations on your amazing accomplishment."

    This one!!!!
  • DefluffinMyStuffin
    DefluffinMyStuffin Posts: 76 Member
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    A simple "Happy Birthday" just won't do. No, not for you. So, I did a little research and found an ancient Latin American Birthday wish just for you. "Mentirosa!"



    (That's Spanish for "Liar!". She would know that if she'd been to Costa Rica)
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of “you” to the world.


    Just be sure to include the gift receipt because you know we’re taking that sh.it back.
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
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    Say it with a jibjab. Dazzle people into thinking that you spent a lot of time on it. It takes less than five minutes.
  • _skittybang
    _skittybang Posts: 970 Member
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    Happy Birthday. You're gonna die...








    EVENTUALLY!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    "If you had a party at Chuck E Cheese, I'd have bought you a wonderful and meaningful gift. But without games, pizza and cake, I just can't justify the purchase. I love you anyway. Happy birthday."

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