My boyfriend is TOO SKINNY. Help!!

rainbowbow

Move to a state where medical marijuana is legal. They often prescribe it for people with "wasting syndrome" or any other drug that increases appetite, but, according to his BMI (17.5) he could be considered anorexic. On another note, I wonder if his testosterone is also suffering considering he is SO skinny and likely eating SO little calories.

saxmaniac

What can I do? Should I try to get him to go to the doctor? Is it that severe? He doesn't think it's a problem.

If he doesn't think it's a problem, and there are no health issues, it's not your job to push him to the doctor. Sure, offer some more calorie-dense foods if you're cooking, but you're kind of acting of controlling. Do you want him deciding what *your* weight should be?

rachelbethany

My boyfriend is 6 feet tall and weighs anywhere from 125-145 (it goes up and down a lot with stress, etc., too). My boyfriend doesn't exercise at all, other than walking to class every day and doing some occasional yoga stretches for his bad back. I have been with him for 5 years, and he's definitely gained some weight since we've been together (for the first couple of years, he was always at about 125). He's very skinny, but so are his sisters, and he just has a really, really fast metabolism. He doesn't eat ANY foods that I consider healthy. I mean, he does use whole wheat bread on his sandwiches and doesn't drink sodas ever since he had kidney stones, but his diet is pretty much devoid of all vegetables. Honestly, I think he could be much healthier, but it's not the fact that he's so skinny that worries me; it's the fact that he doesn't get most of the vitamins/minerals he needs unless he takes a multi-vitamin, which I have gotten him to do at times. He doesn't eat as much as I do, but when he DOES eat, he eats lots of pizza, or grilled cheese sandwiches, or chicken tenders, or other high calorie/fat foods. I wouldn't really worry about your boyfriend. How long have you been together? He's probably just naturally skinny, like my boyfriend. Sure, his lifestyle could be healthier, but it's not really your place to change him. I don't think his life is in danger. However, suggesting the inclusion of a multi-vitamin or cooking him meals can change the way he looks at food over a long period of time.

MrsPong

My husband is 205 and 6'0, almost 27. He's a Marine and he works out hardcore at least 5-6 times a week. I workout with him and I'm trying to lose weight.
He eats alot of the same things I do... but he has to eat alot more of it or more cottage cheese, greek yogurt, more protein just to maintain his weight.

Your boyfriend needs to eat more.

WendyTerry420

Force feed him cake.

Amberonamission

My Sis in Law is so painfully thin. Her lifestyle is "hectic" and every once in a while she comes to sleep on my sofa for a week and have me fatten her up.

I hide butter and cream in everything I feed her. I cook normal. Then take her food and fatten it up. Last she was with me I put 6 pounds on her in 10 days.

BritneysStuntDouble

Is it sad that I know the informercial @SandwichFarti is talking about? I was watching the Ink Master marathon on Spike this past weekend.

Did you get the phone number or website?

rainbowbow

What can I do? Should I try to get him to go to the doctor? Is it that severe? He doesn't think it's a problem.

If he doesn't think it's a problem, and there are no health issues, it's not your job to push him to the doctor. Sure, offer some more calorie-dense foods if you're cooking, but you're kind of acting of controlling. Do you want him deciding what *your* weight should be?

dude. his BMI is unhealthy. If you're girlfriend/boyfriend had an eating disorder and was severly underweight you would let them risk their health? It's not a matter of her being controlling and not liking him physically; it's about how dangerous it is.

"People with a low BMI are essentially starving to death by not taking in enough calories to maintain a healthy body weight. Some of the health problems associated with this condition include increased risk of osteoporosis, anemia from insufficient iron, a weakened immune system and even organ failure and death. Short-term problems associated with low BMI can include impaired judgment, lethargy and mood swings."

secretlobster

What can I do? Should I try to get him to go to the doctor? Is it that severe? He doesn't think it's a problem.

If he doesn't think it's a problem, and there are no health issues, it's not your job to push him to the doctor. Sure, offer some more calorie-dense foods if you're cooking, but you're kind of acting of controlling. Do you want him deciding what *your* weight should be?

dude. his BMI is unhealthy. If you're girlfriend/boyfriend had an eating disorder and was severly underweight you would let them risk their health? It's not a matter of her being controlling and not liking him physically; it's about how dangerous it is.

How do you suggest she force him to change? He's an adult

rainbowbow

I didn't suggest she force him to change. I suggested he try something to increase his appetite or something used for people with "wasting" syndrome considering he probably isnt losing all that weight on purpose.

What can I do? Should I try to get him to go to the doctor? Is it that severe? He doesn't think it's a problem.

If he doesn't think it's a problem, and there are no health issues, it's not your job to push him to the doctor. Sure, offer some more calorie-dense foods if you're cooking, but you're kind of acting of controlling. Do you want him deciding what *your* weight should be?

dude. his BMI is unhealthy. If you're girlfriend/boyfriend had an eating disorder and was severly underweight you would let them risk their health? It's not a matter of her being controlling and not liking him physically; it's about how dangerous it is.

How do you suggest she force him to change? He's an adult

Greenrun99

Usually I make eggs and toast for breakfast with bacon sometimes, pack a lunch of about 800 calories, and we make dinner together that's a high protein dinner.

You pack him a lunch? Are you his girlfriend or mom? Just tell him to eat and put some junk food in the house.. I am sure next time he is sitting around he will eat the junk food, and gain some weight.

WendyTerry420

What can I do? Should I try to get him to go to the doctor? Is it that severe? He doesn't think it's a problem.

If he doesn't think it's a problem, and there are no health issues, it's not your job to push him to the doctor. Sure, offer some more calorie-dense foods if you're cooking, but you're kind of acting of controlling. Do you want him deciding what *your* weight should be?

dude. his BMI is unhealthy. If you're girlfriend/boyfriend had an eating disorder and was severly underweight you would let them risk their health? It's not a matter of her being controlling and not liking him physically; it's about how dangerous it is.

How do you suggest she force him to change? He's an adult

Just like DanaDark said, by withholding sex. :smokin:

lacurandera1

This is advice I've heard given to men who are actually TRYING to gain weight but are hard gainers. You can't just eat when you're hungry. You have to think of it in terms of "Could I eat?" And eat. Every time you're not full, eat.

TubbsMcGee

When I met my guy he was 5'10" and about 125 lbs.
He was sent to the doctor's to rule out colitis (his mother suffered from it when she was young), but they found nothing wrong with him. Turns out he just thought he was fat so he was on a mustard sandwich diet, which was stupid.
We moved in together and I fattened him up to 175 lbs :happy:
Lots of lasagna. And peanut butter apples. And potato dishes.

WestCoastPhoenix

Would not hurt to get his thyroid hormone levels checked, hyperthyroidism can cause you to have a very fast metabolism and it's definitely not a good thing to let be(I had mine treated, granted, mine was mild).

monicalosesweight

Get trail mixes and pack him some heavy calorie snacks! I'd feed him high calorie breads like Cruissants for breakfast or french toast. You need to find ways to make his meals a little heavier in calories - larger portions of protein or items that are heavier in calories like corn or sour cream or potatoes. Basically, hunt for dense foods!

Monica

auroranflash

What can I do? Should I try to get him to go to the doctor? Is it that severe? He doesn't think it's a problem.

If he doesn't think it's a problem, and there are no health issues, it's not your job to push him to the doctor. Sure, offer some more calorie-dense foods if you're cooking, but you're kind of acting of controlling. Do you want him deciding what *your* weight should be?

dude. his BMI is unhealthy. If you're girlfriend/boyfriend had an eating disorder and was severly underweight you would let them risk their health? It's not a matter of her being controlling and not liking him physically; it's about how dangerous it is.

How do you suggest she force him to change? He's an adult

Just like DanaDark said, by withholding sex. :smokin:

That's a terrible idea for any situation.

crystalflame

Mine keeps dropping weight too. He's 6'2" and 143 - he's unintentionally lost 10 pounds in the last 6 months or so, and it's mostly been muscle because he hasn't been lifting. He's also vegetarian, and the amount of protein he's eating is far too small. I can't make him lift, but I can feed him - I dump protein powder in his food at every opportunity, and I encourage him to eat whatever he can with peanut butter on it. I make him dessert, too - anything just to get calories in his body. Once his weight stabilizes, I'll tackle the gym issue; one thing at a time!

schondell

If he's stressed that's the reason for his weight loss.. Just add extra fats and calories to the foods you prepare for him. An extra slice of cheese here, a cup of full fat yogurt there, it will add up and he will fatten back up!

schondell

Mine keeps dropping weight too. He's 6'2" and 143 - he's unintentionally lost 10 pounds in the last 6 months or so, and it's mostly been muscle because he hasn't been lifting. He's also vegetarian, and the amount of protein he's eating is far too small. I can't make him lift, but I can feed him - I dump protein powder in his food at every opportunity, and I encourage him to eat whatever he can with peanut butter on it. I make him dessert, too - anything just to get calories in his body. Once his weight stabilizes, I'll tackle the gym issue; one thing at a time!

Losing 10 lbs in 6 months is nothing to worry about.

bms34b

Thank you everyone for all of these responses - to add detail to a few, no, thank you, I'm not his mom, but we live together and I pack myself a lunch and he warms up on his instrument for an hour and it just makes sense for me to pack his too. I'd do it for any roommate.

Also, I absolutely agree that I don't want to change him or try to make decisions for him. I'm trying to guage if it's a serious health issue, because if it is, I wouldn't be a very good person to let us both ignore it. I wouldn't want him deciding my weight, but I wouldn't want him letting me do something unhealthy, either.

I'm loving LOVING the plans of more trail mixes, more cheese, and higher fat dairy around the apartment. I've stocked everything up with denser, healthy foods that will hopefully give him easy things to grab and eat. I suspect that once the semester finishes up and he has more time, he will be eating more and having these foods around will make it easy.


Again, thanks everyone! More responses are always welcome, of course.

Mathguy1

I would encourage to him to discuss this with his doctor. A 22 yr old 5'10" male (who doesn't exercise) who weighs 122 lbs has a BMI of 17.5 (I understand that BMI numbers can be misleading for those of us who exercise, but given that he doesn't, the following applies).

According to an Actuarial analysis conducted a few years ago, a young, non smoking male with a BMI of 17-18 (which is grossly underweight), loses, on average, the same amount of years off of their life expectancy (when compared to a healthy BMI of 23-24) as if they had a BMI of 30! A 5' 10" non exercising male would have to weigh 209 lbs to have a BMI of 30.

Which means, it is just as unhealthy to be grossly underweight as it is to be moderately overweight (I'm not getting into a discussion regarding overweight categories) in terms of the number of years lost in life expectancy (when compared to a male who has a healthy BMI of 23-24). Ask him if he would do something about his health if he weighed 209 lbs. If so, tell him that he is losing, on average, the same number of years at 122 lbs as if he was 209 lbs. (When compared to a BMI of 23-24 or a weight of 160-167 lbs)