One innocent Kiss and my whole day is ruined...

ldrosophila

So I need some advice (would appreciate no sarcastic comments, but this is MFP so I'm sure there will be a few)...

I am the worst when it comes saying No to offered food. Especially now that its the holiday and everyone wants to share their treats. I can usually not turn down offers and feel guilty. I mean I'm still the fat girl. I was handed M&M's today, and of course out of obligation and "appreciation" I ate them. I didn't need them. I wasn't hungry, but I ate them despite my internal voice saying NO. I also sometimes use these offer as an excuse to binge because "I'm going to blow it anyways." When it isn't part of my plan it really throws me off track, and I usually feel like I've F'ed up the whole day.

How do you cope with these offers?
How do you keep from letting these unexpected offers, these treasures, these treats from taking you off plan?
Do you accept the offers and limit yourself to a few, or do you completely deny them?

I know this is a just say "NO" type question. But with me this is literally an internal battle and struggle and one stupid M&M or a chocolate hershey's Kiss placed innocently on my desk can set me up for a night of binging and self sabotage. It's like leaving a little crack nugget on a crack addicts desk.

Thanks to all you lovely MFP'ers for your help.

DaniellaFitton

Just tell yourself. Nothing tastes as good as skinny will feel !! Helps me most of the time.

0_Lauren_0

This is tough. I've found recently that taking a small portion of something I want (like a handful of M&Ms, or one cookie) and then immediately throwing whatever is left into the garbage has helped. Yes, it's wasteful, but it prevents me from binge-eating holiday treats and sabotaging myself.

onyxgirl17

Yea, I just say no to offered food. I have no shame

stephanielindsey

Honestly, you are going to have to change the way you think. And that is NOT an easy thing to do. I recommend seeing a professional counselor. To start though, when someone offers you something to eat, ask them, "Would it hurt your feelings if I declined? I'm trying to eat better." Also, if you do give in to an indulgence that does not mean you've blown your whole day! A diet/ lifestyle change/ meal plan adjustment (whatever you choose to call it) is not an all or nothing prospect. The sooner you allow yourself to stop being perfect, the more successful you will be.

I hope that helps!

wolfchild59

Why would a Hershey's Kiss set you up for a night of binging and self sabotage? It's one piece of chocolate, that's about 20-25 calories.

This time of year I typically allow myself a few extra treats here and there and don't really stress about going over my calories a bit, or even a lot, more than I typically allow.

But I also plan for some days, like if I know I have a party or a dinner that night, and treats are offered up at work, I'll pass on them in favor of knowing what I'll be having that night. Or I may just stay tried and true and have a great day macro, calorie, and clean-wise. Mostly depends on my mood and what I know I've eaten or have coming up on the various days.

But back to the one little treat causing a whole day to derail, look at this way. If you ran a stop sign on the way to work would you think to yourself, "Aw, screw it, I already ran one, I may as well just run every stop sign or red light come on for the rest of the day."

If not, why would you do exactly that to yourself after eating a piece of chocolate?

scottbrown78

Sounds like this runs deeper than the food they offered you. You don't really think they're going to be crushed if you turn down the food they offer do you? Especially pre packed candy. They just got it out of the vending machine, they didn't make them. Come on. And if I have a treat and go over my cal intake I burn it off. Have the candy if you want but go for a walk and burn off those cals. Or make up for it the next day by staying under your limit. Sounds like you hunt for every excuse to "binge" if you do, then you may need to speak to a counselor. It was put to me this way.... "If you drop your cell,do you pick it up or kick it down the street since you already dropped it once.?"

Kathy_TheVampireSlayer

Just tell yourself. Nothing tastes as good as skinny will feel !! Helps me most of the time.

:smokin: hmm

CoffeeNBooze

Yea, I just say no to offered food. I have no shame

yeah same, i just got used to saying no. Takes some practice and some will power, but as others said I think it is deeper for you

JAllen32

Just think about how proud you will be of yourself after you say no and walk away. That is what got me through in the beginning, before it was habit. I was setting a good example for other people and doing something great for myself. A light hearted "No thanks!" made me happy that I was doing the right thing, and others started to see the changes I was making and the weight coming off, and were proud of me too. And stopped offering! lol

lovechicagobears

I log it and go, "Oh, cool. Six M&Ms is about 40 calories." Then I go on about my day. I don't see eating one Hershey Kiss or a few M&Ms as a reason to binge. It isn't blowing it.

This is the problem with thinking of foods as "good" and "bad".

panda305

I have the same problem. Here's what I do: Just politely refuse to take any treats, or if you have to take one to keep from hurting the host's feelings, just eat part of it and discretely dispose of the rest. If it is like a sit-down dinner, then I will go ahead and eat what I am served, but not eat or eat less the rest of the day. When overeating happens at night, the next morning, I start the day with exercise and then eat only an apple for breakfast. That helps to make up for eating a rich treat the night before. I figure if my weekly totals look good, I should not beat myself up or give up over one bad food. Hope this helps! Hang in there!

theberard

Do you remember what an M&M and a Kiss taste like?




Sometimes the experience is all you want.





Try envisioning every moment of enjoying an M&M. Is that satisfying enough?



If not, it may not matter what you are eating, it may be for pleasure of eating, or it may be a worthwhile distraction from something stressing you out or some other chore on your to-do list. This is often the case for me.

lilmzritz

Don't feel bad if you have to turn food away because you're only looking after yourself. And don't let one Hershey's Kisses ruin your routine for you. If you ever indulge, just burn it off! What usually works for me is I enter the food/sweet treats on MFP and once I know how many calories and how long it would take me to burn the extra calories off, the cravings would just go away. It's ok to turn down food from someone -- I'm pretty sure that's not going to end their world. Stay strong :flowerforyou:

IronPlayground

You're on 1800 cals/day. You should be able to fit in a few M&Ms or Hershey's Kisses. Here is what I keep telling folks. You have to learn how to eat and fit just about anything into your day without it causing you to go over you cals. I looked at your diary. Over the past week you only had one day you didn't eat at a surplus. Stop looking at individual food items as good or bad. If you enjoy some things, fit them in. If it takes logging those snacks first thing, before you've eaten them, then try that. Point is, don't deprive yourself. Deprivation will eventually lead to failure because you'll eventually get frustrated.

Cranktastic

Just tell yourself. Nothing tastes as good as skinny will feel !! Helps me most of the time.

NO!

Cranktastic

You're on 1800 cals/day. You should be able to fit in a few M&Ms or Hershey's Kisses. Here is what I keep telling folks. You have to learn how to eat and fit just about anything into your day without it causing you to go over you cals. I looked at your diary. Over the past week you only had one day you didn't eat at a surplus. Stop looking at individual food items as good or bad. If you enjoy some things, fit them in. If it takes logging those snacks first thing, before you've eaten them, then try that. Point is, don't deprive yourself. Deprivation will eventually lead to failure because you'll eventually get frustrated.

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Taylor2063

I struggle with the same thing and still haven't been able to conquer it. However, I saw a quote the other day that really hit home:

"Saying 'I already ruined my eating today. I'll just eat crap.' Is like saying 'Oh I dropped my phone on the floor. I'll just smash it 'til it breaks'"

That hit home with me. The only thing that's ever helped me is chugging water before I decide to eat. It makes me feel more full faster. Good luck girl. I'm in your same boat.

vmekash

This is no simple matter. I would like to offer the idea that you allow some no. of calories in your day for these treats. Then you can have SOME treats, not feel guilty, and perhaps build up your resistance to treats that fall outside your calorie limit. I know if I allow myself a little something (okay, sometimes 400 or 500 calories worth, but you get the idea), then I'm better and maintaining my limit. I believe that NOT allowing myself treats, one little Kiss would, indeed, derail me.

Oh, and don't worry about hurting any feelings when you do say No to treats. People can handle it. Really. They can. Really. In fact, I sincerely doubt they will be hurt at all. Really. I sincerely doubt it.

Good luck. You CAN do this.

iiijeniii

Accept it gracefully and then re-gift it! Someone will appreciate it. Or ... put it in the lunch room for the taking.

vmekash

I love this! Thanks for sharing.

It was put to me this way.... "If you drop your cell,do you pick it up or kick it down the street since you already dropped it once.?"