One innocent Kiss and my whole day is ruined...

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  • MissJanet55
    MissJanet55 Posts: 457 Member
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    I log it and go, "Oh, cool. Six M&Ms is about 40 calories." Then I go on about my day. I don't see eating one Hershey Kiss or a few M&Ms as a reason to binge. It isn't blowing it. ".

    Absolutely! Often when I log what I think is a disaster it turns out it isn't so bad. Knowledge is power.
  • mdonovan
    mdonovan Posts: 44
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    I've made it known at work that I am losing weight, so don't try to screw it up for me!! lol...really though, if someone offers you something, just say thanks, but I can't, I'm being careful about what I eat. I find everyone is really supportive once they know.
  • axelorate
    axelorate Posts: 75 Member
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    But back to the one little treat causing a whole day to derail, look at this way. If you ran a stop sign on the way to work would you think to yourself, "Aw, screw it, I already ran one, I may as well just run every stop sign or red light come on for the rest of the day."

    If not, why would you do exactly that to yourself after eating a piece of chocolate?

    I like this analogy.
  • iiijeniii
    iiijeniii Posts: 82 Member
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    I struggle with the same thing and still haven't been able to conquer it. However, I saw a quote the other day that really hit home:

    "Saying 'I already ruined my eating today. I'll just eat crap.' Is like saying 'Oh I dropped my phone on the floor. I'll just smash it 'til it breaks'"

    That hit home with me. The only thing that's ever helped me is chugging water before I decide to eat. It makes me feel more full faster. Good luck girl. I'm in your same boat.

    This blog post really helped me during my weight loss:

    "If you forgot to brush your teeth last night, did you decide this morning to throw in the towel and never brush your teeth again? Since you're obviously a slob who doesn't have enough self- discipline to remember to brush your teeth, why bother brushing them at all if you forgot to last night?

    Of course not.

    So if you had ice cream for dinner last night, or didn't exercise yesterday, or gained a pound this week, don't throw in the towel! Make a healthier choice for dinner tonight by eating something lean. Go for a short walk. Weigh in again next week.

    Just do NOT give up."

    I was on SparkPeople at the time and the OP was Lisahas2cats.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
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    Why would a Hershey's Kiss set you up for a night of binging and self sabotage? It's one piece of chocolate, that's about 20-25 calories.

    This time of year I typically allow myself a few extra treats here and there and don't really stress about going over my calories a bit, or even a lot, more than I typically allow.

    But I also plan for some days, like if I know I have a party or a dinner that night, and treats are offered up at work, I'll pass on them in favor of knowing what I'll be having that night. Or I may just stay tried and true and have a great day macro, calorie, and clean-wise. Mostly depends on my mood and what I know I've eaten or have coming up on the various days.

    But back to the one little treat causing a whole day to derail, look at this way. If you ran a stop sign on the way to work would you think to yourself, "Aw, screw it, I already ran one, I may as well just run every stop sign or red light come on for the rest of the day."

    If not, why would you do exactly that to yourself after eating a piece of chocolate?

    Well said. I used to do that, too...the "eff it" mentality is hard to change, but it is essential. Eating one Hershey kiss (20 calories) shouldn't ruin your entire day, but it can (and will) if you view chocolate as a "forbidden food." Thinking of foods as "good" and "bad" can really derail progress. If you're willing to work on changing your thinking, read the book "Women, Food, and God" by Geneen Roth. That helped me get started on changing my mind. I had to do that before I was able to change my eating and exercise habits.
  • lamilli09
    lamilli09 Posts: 354 Member
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    Just tell yourself. Nothing tastes as good as skinny will feel !! Helps me most of the time. :)

    ...That's weird, because today I ate whole wheat toast with Nutella, clementines, apples, a loaded baked potato, steamed broccoli with cheese, and a homemade version of Alice Springs Chicken. Oh, and I had a glass of milk and a cookie for dessert. And it tasted a WHOLE lot better than skinny will ever feel.


    To the OP: I am absolutely an everything-in-moderation type of person. If I restrict my favorite foods, I will binge on them.
    So take a few Hershey's kisses and savor them! If you're needing help with managing the number of "snack size" treats, sometimes I will tell myself that for every extra one over a serving size, I'll do a minute of jumping jacks. I absolutely understand -- chocolate is my crack as well. Best wishes!!
  • anniebelle26
    anniebelle26 Posts: 43 Member
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    I just say...god no...if I have a taste of it Ill lose control. Im not lying, I could seriously lose control if I taste something I crave. So I just dont let it touch my lips.
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
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    You could try having a mental plan for the offered snacks. Know in advance that this might happen and mentally set aside a some calories to deal with it (maybe 200-300). Then if you are offered something, stop before you eat it and check how much you can have within your limit. Throw away or give away (or only take) the amount you can afford to have. Then ENJOY what you are eating, savour it and don't feel guilty about it. Continue on with your healthy day as planned. If you don't end up eating any offered snacks you have an extra 200-300 calories to either treat yourself or eat in healthy snacks.

    You HAVE to get out the of the mentality that one small mistake stuffs up your whole day. I read somewhere that if you have a 'bad' snack/meal/day the MOST IMPORTANT meal is your very next one.

    Mental habbits are the hardest to change but keep at it. Remember there are no bad foods if you get the portions right.
  • ElliInJapan
    ElliInJapan Posts: 284 Member
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    I totally sympathize, I also have a very hard time saying no to whatever is offered to me and sometimes when I know I ate something I shouldn't have eaten I end up eating even more "because the diet is ruined anyway!" Actually I used to think like that, I hardly do that anymore, and although I can't say I have it completely under control, I'm doing much better now. What helps me is this site: I simply log what I ate, whatever it is, and take into account its calories. This way there is no bad food that ruins my "diet": if I ate a piece of chocolate, I simply have, let's say, 100 calories less for the rest of the day. I eat a salad for dinner and I'm still on track with no effect on my weight loss. This is why I love this site, I can eat everything I like and still lose weight! I'm not following a diet for which I should eat e.g. only apples all day long and I end up failing because I ate something besides apples! This site completely changed the way I approach weight loss and I finally feel free to enjoy everything and live my life *while* losing weight.

    Now, regarding situations in which people offer me things I really don't want to eat, I simply say "thanks, but I'll skip that, I'm trying to lose some weight." What still gives me a hard time is when going out with colleagues and friends and we all share. I find it impossible to keep track of what I eat, I sometimes can't remember everything and it's impossible to log, especially if we have a lot of small tapas-like dishes. I had 3 meals like that over the past weekend and I completely gave up logging. On Monday I started logging my food again and I'm back on schedule. But I suppose these things happen, I try not to overdo it and get back on schedule asap.
  • jojo37696
    jojo37696 Posts: 93 Member
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    If it's really going to be that bad than just lie. Tell them no thanks. I seem to have developed an allergy to chocolate or nuts or whatever it is that is being offered. No one needs to know that it's not the complete truth and if they find out then you can explain that you are trying to stay away from that stuff to lose weight. That is of course if you want to explain.
  • zentha1384
    zentha1384 Posts: 323 Member
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    I usually tell them "No thank you" with a smile.

    If they push I tell them "I'm working really hard to lose weight, they look good but I'd rather be happy later for longer"

    If they go for the "Oh one won't hurt you" I honestly get a little pissed off but hold my cool and even try to add a laugh it off kinda feel "One probably won't but if I ate something everytime I heard that I would be right back to where I started. I really don't want to be there again. Thanks for the offer though"

    I have only had ONE person go father than that. Most seem to understand, laugh with me. The one person who went father I turned into a ***** with them. At this point the person said that I was being offensive by not accepting their homemade treat. She brought them in as a goodbye before leaving work and tried guiltiing me into eating them. I said something along then lines of "If you are forcing food that I don't Want, Nor do I need down my throat them obviously I don't mean that much to you and therefore I frankly don't care what you think of me. You are being offensive not me." Their face turned to a look of shock and then what happened sunk in. She apologized and said I was right and it was wrong of her.



    I have another co worker who thought it was funny leaving snacks at my desk to tempt me. I told him repeatly to stop and One day he left a donut... so wrong....

    I told him (nicely) to go get it off my desk and please not to do it again. I said if he ever does i again it will go in the garbage. He said "But what about starving children in Africa!"to which I responded "They will still be starving whether or not I eat it" He never did it again.


    A few other things to keep in mind:
    1) Most people will respect you for having the strength to say no, if they don't then they usually at least understand to some point and if they still don't then their feelings are not worth worrying about. Saying No is not a weakness, it is strength!
    2) Are you eating something just so you don't have to throw it out? Guess what you just admitted your body is a garbage can, start treating it better.
    3) Do you want to be happy now for a little bit, or happy for longer later?
  • jojo37696
    jojo37696 Posts: 93 Member
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    Once you get use to saying NO then you can be completely truthful. It's all a mindset.
  • cali_firecracker
    cali_firecracker Posts: 5 Member
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    You do need to change your thinking a bit! If people are hurt, because you say no, due to trying to lose weight, then THEY have the problem, NOT you!!! Most people won't be hurt by it though! If you explain it to them & they understand how important it is to you, then they will stop offering! It will then get easier to say no more often, once you start doing it. But, if you do except the treat, just count the calories & continue your day like normal & if needed, cut the caloric intake elsewhere! DO NOT blow the rest of your day just due to a small piece of candy or whatever it might be! Kick yourself right back in gear! I know it sounds easier said then done, but when you start doing it, it'll become easier...I promise!!! Good luck with your goals =)
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    There is no logical reason why one or two chocolates should allow you to totally ruin your day. Enjoy them, and immediately get back on track. Take control of yourself.
  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
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    Why do you feel bad turning down M&Ms? It's not like someone slaved for hours in the kitchen to make you specifically those M&Ms. Evaluate why you feel so bad turning down food. Most people won't take offense I promise.

    Even if someone did spend a ton of time making something special, you can still enjoy a small piece of it. At get togethers I'll often cut myself small pieces or halve normal serving sizes. That way I get a taste without overeating.
  • Bill_from_Philly
    Bill_from_Philly Posts: 83
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    So I need some advice (would appreciate no sarcastic comments, but this is MFP so I'm sure there will be a few)...

    I am the worst when it comes saying No to offered food. Especially now that its the holiday and everyone wants to share their treats. I can usually not turn down offers and feel guilty. I mean I'm still the fat girl. I was handed M&M's today, and of course out of obligation and "appreciation" I ate them. I didn't need them. I wasn't hungry, but I ate them despite my internal voice saying NO. I also sometimes use these offer as an excuse to binge because "I'm going to blow it anyways." When it isn't part of my plan it really throws me off track, and I usually feel like I've F'ed up the whole day.

    How do you cope with these offers?
    How do you keep from letting these unexpected offers, these treasures, these treats from taking you off plan?
    Do you accept the offers and limit yourself to a few, or do you completely deny them?

    I know this is a just say "NO" type question. But with me this is literally an internal battle and struggle and one stupid M&M or a chocolate hershey's Kiss placed innocently on my desk can set me up for a night of binging and self sabotage. It's like leaving a little crack nugget on a crack addicts desk.

    Thanks to all you lovely MFP'ers for your help.
    I just say no and remind myself that more snacks=bigger slacks.
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
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    Just tell yourself. Nothing tastes as good as skinny will feel !! Helps me most of the time. :)

    Really? Ever had anything made with real butter? Skinny is for meth addicts!
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
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    My trick for the holiday season is to limit myself to one sweet thing per day. So, if I have 2-3 hershey's kisses in the morning, that is it for the day. Most of the time what I'm being offered isn't something I really want anyway. So, I politely decline so that I can save my "treat" for something I really want. For example. I love donuts but I didn't have one at work on Friday because I knew I'd be going to dinner at a great restaurant and I wanted to make sure I could have dessert. If its something that I don't LOVE, I just tell myself not to eat it because I might have the opportunity to have something that I absolutely adore later on, and wouldn't it stink if I'd wasted my treat on a twix?
  • Simone_King
    Simone_King Posts: 467 Member
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    Op I know the feeling. I have the same problem.

    However, if people hand you food you have a right to turn it down. If you simply can't turn down the food (it's hard I know.) You have a choice not to eat it. Take it home and enjoy it later.

    However, if you can't turn down the food do more at the gym. Get more calories.
  • OMG_Twinkies
    OMG_Twinkies Posts: 215 Member
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    My coworkers bring me that stuff all the time, despite my telling them that I really don't want it and am trying to live healthier. M&Ms here and there won't hurt. But they bring it at least once a week (brownies, milkshakes, tacos…). It really hurts their feelings when I decline, so I take it then I flush it down the toilet when they aren't looking. I used to do the same thing when my boss would buy me shots- I'd toss them into the potted plant at my desk :)

    Works great- I don't end up eating out of obligation and they don't get sad puppy faces.

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