Fit girl rant
steelmaggie228
Posts: 75 Member
So after struggling with the idea that "strong is the new skinny", I'm finally starting to accept that being "healthy" is more attractive than being skinny. I've been all over the map and been called every name- in high school I was super fit and muscular because I really wanted to do physique competitions and catty girls (and boys) started calling me a man. I got self conscious and stopped working out, I moved out of my parents house and starting partying a lot and gained quite a bit of weight while in a relationship. That ended and I got sick, which I don't really want to go into, but after a couple years, suddenly, I was "too skinny", I started taking better care of myself, gained some weight (too much I think), mostly thanks to great relationship I'm in right now. So here I am trying to find the happy medium and learn how to feel good about myself and be healthy at the same time. Dana Lynn Bailey is someone that inspires me a lot and tonight after my first CrossFit training session, I shared one of her Facebook photos. Now I'm reading through all the back-lash, all from men going on about how gross she is. I'm taking their critique of her personally and it's making want to do some not-so-healthy things.
Ugh, so frustrated.
There wasn't really any point to this other than ranting- hopefully to an audience that shares my frustration with body image and expectations, be them self appointed or otherwise.
Hope you all having a good day!
Ugh, so frustrated.
There wasn't really any point to this other than ranting- hopefully to an audience that shares my frustration with body image and expectations, be them self appointed or otherwise.
Hope you all having a good day!
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Replies
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Well....I'm not sure if it's because I'm happily married ( and have been for 10 years), or if I just don't give a rat's *kitten* what other men think about my body...but....I don't give a rat's *kitten*. Honestly, most of the people I know IRL find moderately muscular people (men and women alike) healthy and attractive looking. My husband, for one, is soooo not into "skinny" girls, so maybe that helps too.
At the place I am in my life, I feel like I WANT to feel, look and be strong! I need good, strong muscles to keep me healthy and live a long, happy life!
I also LOVE food and I LOVE to eat. I love it more than I love the idea of being "thin" or "skinny". So....since I've found a happy medium where I can work out, improve my body composition and EAT a lot of really good food....I am a happy camper, regardless of what others perceptions of my body might be!0 -
You look fantastic and as long as you love the way that you look it is all that matters!0
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I take everyone else's(men and women) opinions so seriously, more than my own. I've always been that way. I have no idea how to think for myself about myself physically.0
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I take everyone else's(men and women) opinions so seriously, more than my own. I've always been that way. I have no idea how to think for myself about myself physically.
Maybe get this sorted out before you decide what ftness path to take?0 -
Saw this on a blog the other day and it made me reeeeally mad.
Its always a free-for-all on FB and even on this site to bash fit/muscular women and its extremely sad.
heres the link: http://shirtlessncomfortable.tumblr.com/image/352056079520 -
You shouldn't worry about what other people think, I know I know that's what everyone says but it is true. And personally I would rather be more muscular rather then very skinny.0
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I think her abs are awesome!!
Saw this on a blog the other day and it made me reeeeally mad.
Its always a free-for-all on FB and even on this site to bash fit/muscular women and its extremely sad.
heres the link: http://shirtlessncomfortable.tumblr.com/image/352056079520 -
Don't worry about what people say, people are full of negativity when it comes to other people's bodies. I find a lot of men are intimidated by fit women and think it's silly that a woman is trying to "be as good as a man, when she should be in the kitchen." Those kind of guys... They try to hide those thoughts, but it becomes evident in their comments. They always try to put down female athletes or make fun of female hockey or female basketball. It's all sexism... unless an athlete has a gorgeous face & big boobs, then they treat her like a piece of meat. But also what people don't understand is that for photo shoots, fit people often get tans & dehydrate their bodies to look super muscular. IRL, they look like attractive normal people who are not clenching every muscle in their body at all times. The Victoria Secret models that men are in love with probably workout like crazy and they go on starvation diets days before their shows. What people are accustomed to seeing on tv is not healthy or normal... super skinny with breast implants, or being able to see bones is NOT healthy. In fact, underweight people are the ones that tend to look skeletal and creepy in person. I'd say don't listen to that negativity... When you do get that body that you want, you'll get tons of compliments flowing in! and all those guys will be a little bit more insecure about themselves. You don't want to attract guys that prefer skinny unhealthy women anyway, attract a guy who will appreciate your hard work, dedication & awesome results! I'm sure your boyfriend supports you in this.0
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I take everyone else's(men and women) opinions so seriously, more than my own. I've always been that way. I have no idea how to think for myself about myself physically.
You're 22? Give yourself five more years of torturing yourself over it... that should about leave you fed up with everyone else's opinions. Eh... you'll be fine.0 -
Screw what everyone thinks. I'm overweight and I want to be slim and muscular. I have shown my husband pictures of this woman I admire and he told me she looks like a man. I think she is gorgeous and i use her as my inspiration. If I want to be muscular he will have to get over it.0
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Be the person you want to be, if others don't like it then leave em in the dust as you walk the road that you choose. There will always be people pulling you down and there will always be people helping you forward. Just gotta choose who you are going to listen to, but never forget that the only one that you truly have to answer to is yourself.0
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Everyone has different preferences for body types. I know some girls who only like fat guys and can't stand skinny lanky guys. Or girls that don't like guys who are super built & veiny. I know guys who like fit "manly" girls with the abs & extra meat. There's guys who prefer small boobs, guys who prefer big boobs, etc. I'm sure there's a good portion of people who like the fit look but are scared to comment after all that negativity.0
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I think you will really like this blog: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/
Also, and I don't want to seem like I'm giving you advice or telling you what to do, but SCREW people who are only interested in you for your body, or interested in criticizing other people's bodies because YEAH, that's really important in this life.
I am sure you have a lot more to offer. You're not just some MEAT BAG. You're also a mind with interests and concerns and empathy for other people. That's what's ultimately important about you. The life of your mind.
Do things because you love them and because they make you feel strong and healthy. Don't do things so that you can look good in the eyes of so-and-so. In the grande scheme, that person's opinion isn't worth squat. Can I recommend that you try yoga? And not just for exercise. Yoga for internal insight, and learning to be in your body and be grateful for all the things it does for you day in and day out.0 -
Saw this on a blog the other day and it made me reeeeally mad.
Its always a free-for-all on FB and even on this site to bash fit/muscular women and its extremely sad.
heres the link: http://shirtlessncomfortable.tumblr.com/image/35205607952
"I'd rather have boobs than abs."
REALLY!? Even when I was heavy I didn't have much for boobs- at least you can buy those. Abs you have to work for.0 -
You are so very beautiful; what a terrible shame that you had to go through that in your youth. I really, really sympathize with you and think its criminal that you were made to feel badly about pursuing a beautiful body.
But first and foremost, be healthy. I don't care if I have a **** for a nose, if that's what it takes for me to feel strong and well and to live a long time to care for those I love and accomplish those things that are important to me.
As far as the aesthetics that matter, it sounds like you don't have a strong personal preference. Cool. Then shoot for healthy and tailor your physique as you see fit.
Finally, get into therapy so that you can develop your own standards of beauty because there is no universal consensus!!!0 -
Also, is that you in the three day event/show jumping photos? If so, that is absolutely BAD *kitten*, so everyone with boring thoughts about the way other people look can pretty much shove it. Can they do that? I don't think so.0
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You look great! I too stay depressed about the way I look. I get so impatient about losing the weight. I just keep thinking all of this eating clean and exercising every day isn't going to get me where I want to be, even though I am seeing everybody else's results. Plus it depresses me more that I work with a bunch of tooth picks. I use to, every once in a while, bottom out and drop my calories to 300-500 and eat as little carbs as possible. Because of all that craziness I have wasted a lot of my time. I just started MFP last week and I feel like I am finally on the right track I hope." I think I just get a little obsessive" :indifferent: I use to always be super thin and I guess gaining really makes me feel like I am no longer me.0
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Also, is that you in the three day event/show jumping photos? If so, that is absolutely BAD *kitten*, so everyone with boring thoughts about the way other people look can pretty much shove it. Can they do that? I don't think so.
Yes that is me! That is my job, those are my horses. Best job ever :happy:0 -
Also, is that you in the three day event/show jumping photos? If so, that is absolutely BAD *kitten*, so everyone with boring thoughts about the way other people look can pretty much shove it. Can they do that? I don't think so.
Yes that is me! That is my job, those are my horses. Best job ever :happy:
That's awesome. Takes so much guts.0 -
You look great! I too stay depressed about the way I look. I get so impatient about losing the weight. I just keep thinking all of this eating clean and exercising every day isn't going to get me where I want to be, even though I am seeing everybody else's results. Plus it depresses me more that I work with a bunch of tooth picks. I use to, every once in a while, bottom out and drop my calories to 300-500 and eat as little carbs as possible. Because of all that craziness I have wasted a lot of my time. I just started MFP last week and I feel like I am finally on the right track I hope." I think I just get a little obsessive" :indifferent: I use to always be super thin and I guess gaining really makes me feel like I am no longer me.
You're like me.
We can do it :flowerforyou:0 -
I used to do hair. The curly haired women wanted straight, the straight haired ones wanted it curly. The short wanted it long, the long wanted it short. And so on and so forth. Small breasted women want implants, big breasted women want breast reductions. Our society is soooooooo overly concerned about outward appearance it's ridiculous. And we were conditioned for it. Advertisers look to make you insecure so you can buy something to fix what they just convinced you needs fixing. When I saw a commercial for deodorant that gives you better looking underarms, I thought...REALLY?0
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You are so very beautiful; what a terrible shame that you had to go through that in your youth. I really, really sympathize with you and think its criminal that you were made to feel badly about pursuing a beautiful body.
But first and foremost, be healthy. I don't care if I have a **** for a nose, if that's what it takes for me to feel strong and well and to live a long time to care for those I love and accomplish those things that are important to me.
As far as the aesthetics that matter, it sounds like you don't have a strong personal preference. Cool. Then shoot for healthy and tailor your physique as you see fit.
Finally, get into therapy so that you can develop your own standards of beauty because there is no universal consensus!!!
Thank you! That's really nice of you to say :blushing:
Therapy seems like a waste of money to me, I tried it for something else when I was younger. At any rate, having the universe be my "therapist" feels more useful. I'm learning a lot from this discussion!0 -
I think Dana Linn looks amazing and I'd love to have at least half her body lol.
Seriously though you have got to stop caring what everyone else thinks. I'm 5'3 and currently at 127 lbs I'm told I'm to thin, my goal is 120 but then to gain 10-15 lbs of muscle back. How is it to thin? I guess it depends on the person. I for one don't give a crap what people think of me. I am not doing it for them I'm doing what I want to do for me and as long as I am healthy doing it I think people need to STFU. But that won't happen so I need to learn to not care and listen to them.0 -
Don't listen to the haters. I've seen several of Dana's videos on YouTube and she is seriously one of the most amazing women in the fitness world. She has a killer physique and is absolutely strong. She bench presses and squats her body weight just as part of her normal routines. It's sick how strong she is in all the right ways.
I would do nothing but encourage you to walk her footsteps. Yes, it seems like the mainstream reaction to someone like her is jealousy, animus, and just a host of other negative things; but do you want to be mainstream or do you want to be exceptional?
Pursue your dreams, and never let anybody knock those aspirations down. You are beautiful and doing what you want will only make you all that much more so.0 -
Im almost 30 and I can say that in my 20's, the biggest change in myself is getting comfortable with just being me. I mean my outside appearance and my inside. It happened gradually but I can see and feel a difference in myself now.
I see a ton of tattoos on you so to me that says you must not care on some level what others think right? I mean some people def put their noses up in the air about tattoos but you said screw it. I want 'em and I dont care what everyone thinks. Try to expand that attitude or at least think about it when someone makes a rude comment or gives you their negative opinion on something.0 -
I think it's also a question of what you personally like. I want to be fit but I def do not want a 6 pack. I don't find them attractive on men nor women... but that's my personal opinion. You do what feels right for you and if having washboard abs is what keeps you motivated Go get it!!!0
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Im almost 30 and I can say that in my 20's, the biggest change in myself is getting comfortable with just being me. I mean my outside appearance and my inside. It happened gradually but I can see and feel a difference in myself now.
I see a ton of tattoos on you so to me that says you must not care on some level what others think right? I mean some people def put their noses up in the air about tattoos but you said screw it. I want 'em and I dont care what everyone thinks. Try to expand that attitude or at least think about it when someone makes a rude comment or gives you their negative opinion on something.
I never really thought of that, I love my ink and I'm very proud of it- I've never had any real negative reaction to them, at least not to my face. That's great to point out though, maybe there is hope for my confidence after all haha.
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"Other people's opinion of me are none of my business."
Learn it. Love it. Repeat it often.
Everyone's opinions vary. You can't please everyone. Please yourself. Fill your life with people who accept you for who you are. Obviously you like the muscular look (you were drawn to it in high school and again recently). A LOT of men and women do to. Screw those that don't.0 -
I've had the same problem with the people I work with, and I agree with the other posters, don't worry about what other people think. I have my own goals, and I'm not going to stop training hard because someone tells me I'm getting too "jacked." I've had people tell me that it's extreme to care about how much protein, carbs, and fats I'm getting in my diet. I've had people tell me that women shouldn't lift heavy weights.
But you know what? I've also gained a hell of a lot of confidence through strength training. I remember being afraid of even walking into the weight training room at my gym. Now I know all the regulars, and I've even have taught new people (male and female) proper form. I don't plan on giving that feeling up for anyone.0 -
i find women like that very attractive
I think her abs are awesome!!
Saw this on a blog the other day and it made me reeeeally mad.
Its always a free-for-all on FB and even on this site to bash fit/muscular women and its extremely sad.
heres the link: http://shirtlessncomfortable.tumblr.com/image/352056079520
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