Fit girl rant

CJisinShape

I used to do hair. The curly haired women wanted straight, the straight haired ones wanted it curly. The short wanted it long, the long wanted it short. And so on and so forth. Small breasted women want implants, big breasted women want breast reductions. Our society is soooooooo overly concerned about outward appearance it's ridiculous. And we were conditioned for it. Advertisers look to make you insecure so you can buy something to fix what they just convinced you needs fixing. When I saw a commercial for deodorant that gives you better looking underarms, I thought...REALLY?

steelmaggie228

You are so very beautiful; what a terrible shame that you had to go through that in your youth. I really, really sympathize with you and think its criminal that you were made to feel badly about pursuing a beautiful body.

But first and foremost, be healthy. I don't care if I have a **** for a nose, if that's what it takes for me to feel strong and well and to live a long time to care for those I love and accomplish those things that are important to me.

As far as the aesthetics that matter, it sounds like you don't have a strong personal preference. Cool. Then shoot for healthy and tailor your physique as you see fit.

Finally, get into therapy so that you can develop your own standards of beauty because there is no universal consensus!!!

Thank you! That's really nice of you to say :blushing:

Therapy seems like a waste of money to me, I tried it for something else when I was younger. At any rate, having the universe be my "therapist" feels more useful. I'm learning a lot from this discussion!

TheFitHooker

I think Dana Linn looks amazing and I'd love to have at least half her body lol.

Seriously though you have got to stop caring what everyone else thinks. I'm 5'3 and currently at 127 lbs I'm told I'm to thin, my goal is 120 but then to gain 10-15 lbs of muscle back. How is it to thin? I guess it depends on the person. I for one don't give a crap what people think of me. I am not doing it for them I'm doing what I want to do for me and as long as I am healthy doing it I think people need to STFU. But that won't happen so I need to learn to not care and listen to them.

hiker359

Don't listen to the haters. I've seen several of Dana's videos on YouTube and she is seriously one of the most amazing women in the fitness world. She has a killer physique and is absolutely strong. She bench presses and squats her body weight just as part of her normal routines. It's sick how strong she is in all the right ways.

I would do nothing but encourage you to walk her footsteps. Yes, it seems like the mainstream reaction to someone like her is jealousy, animus, and just a host of other negative things; but do you want to be mainstream or do you want to be exceptional?

Pursue your dreams, and never let anybody knock those aspirations down. You are beautiful and doing what you want will only make you all that much more so.

Kristin2984

Im almost 30 and I can say that in my 20's, the biggest change in myself is getting comfortable with just being me. I mean my outside appearance and my inside. It happened gradually but I can see and feel a difference in myself now.

I see a ton of tattoos on you so to me that says you must not care on some level what others think right? I mean some people def put their noses up in the air about tattoos but you said screw it. I want 'em and I dont care what everyone thinks. Try to expand that attitude or at least think about it when someone makes a rude comment or gives you their negative opinion on something.

WDEvy

I think it's also a question of what you personally like. I want to be fit but I def do not want a 6 pack. I don't find them attractive on men nor women... but that's my personal opinion. You do what feels right for you and if having washboard abs is what keeps you motivated Go get it!!!

steelmaggie228

Im almost 30 and I can say that in my 20's, the biggest change in myself is getting comfortable with just being me. I mean my outside appearance and my inside. It happened gradually but I can see and feel a difference in myself now.

I see a ton of tattoos on you so to me that says you must not care on some level what others think right? I mean some people def put their noses up in the air about tattoos but you said screw it. I want 'em and I dont care what everyone thinks. Try to expand that attitude or at least think about it when someone makes a rude comment or gives you their negative opinion on something.

I never really thought of that, I love my ink and I'm very proud of it- I've never had any real negative reaction to them, at least not to my face. That's great to point out though, maybe there is hope for my confidence after all haha.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

"Other people's opinion of me are none of my business."

Learn it. Love it. Repeat it often.

Everyone's opinions vary. You can't please everyone. Please yourself. Fill your life with people who accept you for who you are. Obviously you like the muscular look (you were drawn to it in high school and again recently). A LOT of men and women do to. Screw those that don't.

envy09

I've had the same problem with the people I work with, and I agree with the other posters, don't worry about what other people think. I have my own goals, and I'm not going to stop training hard because someone tells me I'm getting too "jacked." I've had people tell me that it's extreme to care about how much protein, carbs, and fats I'm getting in my diet. I've had people tell me that women shouldn't lift heavy weights.

But you know what? I've also gained a hell of a lot of confidence through strength training. I remember being afraid of even walking into the weight training room at my gym. Now I know all the regulars, and I've even have taught new people (male and female) proper form. I don't plan on giving that feeling up for anyone.

DatNative21

Saw this on a blog the other day and it made me reeeeally mad.

Its always a free-for-all on FB and even on this site to bash fit/muscular women and its extremely sad.

heres the link: http://shirtlessncomfortable.tumblr.com/image/35205607952

I think her abs are awesome!!

i find women like that very attractive

steelmaggie228

I've had the same problem with the people I work with, and I agree with the other posters, don't worry about what other people think. I have my own goals, and I'm not going to stop training hard because someone tells me I'm getting too "jacked." I've had people tell me that it's extreme to care about how much protein, carbs, and fats I'm getting in my diet. I've had people tell me that women shouldn't lift heavy weights.

But you know what? I've also gained a hell of a lot of confidence through strength training. I remember being afraid of even walking into the weight training room at my gym. Now I know all the regulars, and I've even have taught new people (male and female) proper form. I don't plan on giving that feeling up for anyone.

I just started learning how to properly weight train!

TommiEgan

After reading the OP I'll weigh in with my 2 cents. I have found in my experience that no matter how you look, fat, skinny, muscley, lean, you are going to be harshly judged by those who have thier issues and insecurities with how you want to be. Now I admit I am not a fan of body builders and being super ripped but I do admire their perserverance and determination in achieving how they always wanted to be.
So in essence become what you want, and as long asyou are happy that is what counts. Don't sacrifice your happiness for someone else's ignorance.

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

That's the problem with our society's distorted view of what a strong, attractive woman looks like. No wonder the world is full of skinny-fat people. I know how you feel, my mom is constantly saying to me that my legs are starting to look grossier coz of the muscles that I get from lifting heavy weights but I just ignored her.

I know its hard but just think of all the benefits of being a strong woman. Those people who find it gross are simply losers who lack proper education.

heatherloveslifting

Sometimes jealous people say mean things. Ignore them!

janessafantasma

So after struggling with the idea that "strong is the new skinny", I'm finally starting to accept that being "healthy" is more attractive than being skinny. I've been all over the map and been called every name- in high school I was super fit and muscular because I really wanted to do physique competitions and catty girls (and boys) started calling me a man. I got self conscious and stopped working out, I moved out of my parents house and starting partying a lot and gained quite a bit of weight while in a relationship. That ended and I got sick, which I don't really want to go into, but after a couple years, suddenly, I was "too skinny", I started taking better care of myself, gained some weight (too much I think), mostly thanks to great relationship I'm in right now. So here I am trying to find the happy medium and learn how to feel good about myself and be healthy at the same time. Dana Lynn Bailey is someone that inspires me a lot and tonight after my first CrossFit training session, I shared one of her Facebook photos. Now I'm reading through all the back-lash, all from men going on about how gross she is. I'm taking their critique of her personally and it's making want to do some not-so-healthy things.
Ugh, so frustrated.

There wasn't really any point to this other than ranting- hopefully to an audience that shares my frustration with body image and expectations, be them self appointed or otherwise.

Hope you all having a good day!

This made my day. I've had so many ups and downs and skinny and fat years and struggled with body image and no matter what a woman does, every part of her will be critiqued. Just know that it's NOT you, you can be whatever size you want, however fit you want, and no one can and should be able to tell you different. Its not about fat acceptance or skinny acceptance, it's about acceptance. Period. It's about what you want and what makes you happy. A woman's body is not some object that everyone gets to comment on, but it happens nonetheless and it isn't fair.

michellekicks

There are always going to be people who find you attractive no matter what your shape. If you're skinny and soft, there will be people who enjoy that. If you're bulging and ripped there will be people who enjoy that. If you're somewhere in the middle there will be people who enjoy that.

There are 7 billion unique individuals on this planet. Aside from genetic anomaly like identical multiples and other extraordinary situations, every single one has all the same parts and yet looks completely different from one another. Exactly which of those 7 billion are you supposed to try and model yourself after?

Just be you. Go for whatever look you like.

EvgeniZyntx

It's normal to consider what others think, we are social animal driven by these, and other, biological desires. But these thought can overtake a healthy self-image and provide all sorts of false insecurities in a beautiful and capable person, like yourself. Keep them in check - you have strength, great abilities, fitness and you are doing things. The "new skinny" is not strength or fitness or any single one thing, but the ability to rock your world, the way you want to, with self-assurance that you are your own kaleidoscope.
You seem to be doing great, keep at it.

kelly_e_montana

Well now that I'm almost 40 and struggled with what you are when I was in my 20s, all I can say is you will NEVER be EVERYONE'S cup of tea. Some people are jealous, some people like muscles, some like big butts, and some like skin and bones. It is simply not possible to EVER be pretty enough or have a perfect enough body. People like different things. Some people are just plain jerks.
I wasted my entire 20s feeling like you describe and I was very fit and a rockin hottie! I never even had a boyfriend until I was 25 because my self-esteem was so low! Now people say things about me like, "Well, she's cute but you should have seen her when she was younger. She looked like a model." And at the time, no one told me that. GRRR. You cannot listen to what others have to say. Just decide how you want to look and feel, based on healthy ideals and go after that. And if they don't like it, screw them. They're just immature. Why not pick a fitness goal unrelated to appearance and go for it? Like a race or a competition? Then you can focus on how you feel and what you've accomplished, not how you look.

P.S. Looks fade. You will be sad someday that you spent so much time worrying about them at the expense of other important things in your life. I know I have regretted the days I should have been happy that I spent being so sad. I think a lot of it just comes with time and people's priorities change. In a few years, everyone will be so busy with their own lives that they won't care what you look like (kids, work, etc.).

HopefulLeigh

Dana Lynn isn't my idea of eye candy, but you'd probably giggle like crazy if I showed you a pic of my husband and told you how ridiculously attractive I find him. That's just personal preference. She is, however, healthy and that is something that isn't really up for debate. I can not imagine the amount of hard work and dedication it must take to obtain and then maintain such an incredible body. It takes real guts, I'm betting.

I highly suggest that you trim the sexist fat off of your friend's list if you're getting so much negativity from these guys over a woman who inspires you, especially if it's making you consider endangering your own health. I'm of the opinion that friends like that aren't really friends.

medoria

What you experienced is the main reason I dont share any pics on facebook. People are stupid, judgemental and selfrighteou. When it comes to fitness Ive figured im better of turning to the places where people share my interest, like Mfp or tumblr.

Its about coming to terms what you like, and understanding that there is not only ONE ideal body, its just a matter of opinion and peoples opinion differ from one place to another. For a long time I felt fat, ugly and big just because im very muscular and I felt like I didnt fit in anywhere, just because men and women have a tendency to talk loudly about how disgusting muscles are on women. But then when I found tumblr I slowly realized there are other people out there just like me who love muclses and love their strong healty bodies and who think Dana Lynn Bailey is AWESOME! Cuz she really is!!!!!