Need some help with Self Sabotage

ChantiC

I posted a topic about self sabotage too and people told me to get psychiatric help! Don't listen to anyone who tells you that- I can't believe some people can be so negative! Anywho, I do it too. If I have one bad day, I'll eat my *kitten* off and make it a bad week. I punish myself. Then once I've gained, I do it some more until I fall off the wagon completely. My advice? It's not earth shattering but I just try to pick myself back up and log in again. MFP is great for that and I have a few friends on here I can turn to and vent or whine without being judged. I just don't want to ever be the same weight I started at and even if I gained back all but one pound (which happens more often than not), I tell myself that I still don't weigh what I used to. Not ALL is lost. I just recently got to the 169 mark which was big for me, finally got out from being in the 170s and what did I do? Over celebrated and now I'm back in the 170s. I'm picking myself back up today and counting but the big thing I'm NOT doing is weighing myself. I KNOW I gained, I don't need the scale to tell me that cause I'm just gonna freak out and go off the deep end. So I'm going to stay on the wagon for a week or two, weigh myself and hopefully be back at 169 again. When that happens, it will be pleasurable motiviation to get me through the holidays. So long story short, just pick back up, no matter where you fell off and perhaps withhold stepping on the scale till you've been back on the wagon awhile so you don't freak out.

Best wishes, Jenn

Really people told you to get psychological help? Ok I know its in our heads, yes. But I also think that is why so many try to lose weight over and over again. I truly do think that when losing weight its 95% food and 5% exercise. And with food comes the mental part. So many of us relate food with emotions and it makes it so hard. But you are right and thats what I have been doing, picking myself up and try try again. I now know what does not work for me and that is "dieting". I try to make healthy options every day and with all the great tips I have been really trying to look within at what triggers this self sabotage / binge eating episodes and yes its very much mental. I think that seeking psychological help probably can help, but I also think that really paying attention and trying to break old not so great habits helps too. For some losing weight is harder than others. Sorry you didnt get all that great positive feedback when you posted. I am so surprised by all the great feedback this post has received and hopefully it has helped some other people too who has read some of the posts keep up the fab work and keep on trying. :flowerforyou:

ChantiC

:huh: at all the smart a$s answers. (there needs to be an eye-roll smiley)

I do the same thing, I self-sabotage after weighing in at a new low weight for me. I'm not on a damn "diet". I don't think I am afraid of change because I am BEYOND ready for this change. Afraid of other's perception? Maybe. I lost a lot of weight before and got a great deal of attention from it, and I couldn't handle it. It freaked me out, and it made me sad that all those people were only paying attention to me after I lost the weight. But I was a different person back then, 10 years younger in a lot of ways. However I think I still struggle with that way of thinking, which makes it hard to get to my goal.

One step forward, two steps back.

I am so glad you posted this! This is EXACTLY my problem, I just didn't realize it! I l am in my mid 30's and in my early 20's I lost a bunch of weight. I could not believe how much attention I got. Like you, it made me so sad, because I was the SAME damn person as before, just not fat. I think that's why I am sabotaging now.

I have to say that I agree with both of you. The exact same thing happened to me about 10 years ago too. I lost all my weight and I got lots of attention too. Some positive and some not so much and it overwhelmed me. Maybe thats what I am scared of? So many people were like wow you are beautiful now ( I guess i wasnt before?). Or people would stare as I ate to see what "diet" food I was eating to lose weight. Or they would say, can you eat KFC on your "diet"? Drove me nuts! I lost that weight on WW btw lol. And after doing WW 10 years ago, and with all that attention thats when I started to become obsessed with eating, dieting and then the binge eating came. I went from 145 to 240 in just over a year. I look back now and its funny how your family and friends who are supposed to be supporting you, become different towards you once you look smaller. Maybe out of jealousy? I dont know, but my family really did treat me different and even though I felt good about my weight loss, it made me sad. Because I come from a family that loves food, but they are all naturally thin. So I have always been bigger and then once I was small, they all suddenly told me how pretty I was etc. So i get what you are saying for sure! Mind you now that i am older and I want to lose weight for me. I really dont care what they will all say once I reach goal. But maybe this sabotaging thing like someone else said in a nother post is about fear....... All these posts have really made me start thinking, Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it.

Amberlynnek

Hi there!

I'm sorry but I did not have time to read all the posts prior to me and I hope some of this information is not repetitive. I have had the toughest time with Self Sabotage up until the past 6 months. Its a very hard thing to overcome and from time to time, I still experience it in lesser effects. But the best thing to do is break it out in chunks. First step is understanding your relationship with food - then, break up with it. You would do the same thing with a bad relationship with a man/friend wouldn't you? It is your job to protect yourself and arm yourself against those things which are a danger to you. Make this your primary thought to battle the overeating compulsion. Then, tell yourself - you are not doing this for anyone but yourself, its all about YOU. You shouldn't be losing the weight for the attention or lack of it, you're doing it for how you feel and your own health. Before diving in, stop, breath and repeat these thoughts to yourself. Understand this will be a slow life transformation so start with little things at a time. Start by overhauling breakfast for two weeks, then overhaul lunch and finally dinner or reverse it. Slowly building up to a complete overhaul of your eating habits. It is all a psychological thing but not a problem that negates a psychiatrist. Just a little change in process. Good Luck and I wish you the best in your goals!

InnerFatGirl

I'm doing the same

Here's a hug for you *hug*

0tfm0

You say you've tried lots of diets, but have you tried intermittent fasting? You sound as if you might be the kind of person to find it easier to avoid temptation than to resist it. If so, then try fasting - completely - for 2 days a week (or, if you must, eat 500kcals max on your "fast" days). Eat normally on the other days. See what happens after a couple of weeks.

Tim