It's not me, it's you.

2

Replies

  • RodSuarez
    RodSuarez Posts: 6,309 Member
    "You are an amazing guy... but we had sex too soon and now I can't take you seriously"
  • megalin9
    megalin9 Posts: 771 Member
    "If it wasn't for her, I would like you."

    I was 17. "Her" was my cousin/best friend, and he said this after he had spent weeks holding my hand, playing with my hair, talking about our kids' names, etc. God, the things we do and believe when we're young!
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    We played hangman.

    _ _ _ ' _ / _ _ _ _ _ / _ _.

    L E T' S / B R E A K / U P.

    Then he said: "I want to be free, like an eagle!"

    ^True story.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    I was dating a girl and she disappeared for a week. She sent me an email that sorry, but she has to go back to Jesus now.

    Dumped for Jesus.

    you win
  • Countryboy_
    Countryboy_ Posts: 618
    I was dating a girl and she disappeared for a week. She sent me an email that sorry, but she has to go back to Jesus now.

    Dumped for Jesus.

    Jesus was a shepherd. He has a HUGE staff....
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    I have nothing to add, just following Tyler in here.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    I have nothing to add, just following Tyler in here.

    But this thread should be your specialty.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    "Well, you can't find the right one when you're with the wrong one"
    "Did you just call me the 'wrong one'? Get out of my apartment."
    "That's not what I meant! I meant I'm the wrong one for you!"
    "YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS AND YOU'VE WASTED 3 ALREADY."

    Moron. Still single. Shocking, I know.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
    I have nothing to add, just following Tyler in here.

    But this thread should be your specialty.

    :noway: :noway: :noway: :noway:
  • petstorekitty
    petstorekitty Posts: 592 Member
    My famous break up has been my "look Boo" talk.

    I tried to break up with this guy for days once and just became increasingling impatient with him.

    Finanly I just said, "Look boo, we aint never gonna be together and if you keep talking to me I'm just going to be mean to you and that's just not fair..."

    So no the joke with my friends is 'don't make me Look boo you.'

    *shrug*

    it's funny to me :)
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    I have nothing to add, just following Tyler in here.

    But this thread should be your specialty.

    I have never been broken up with. When I've broken up with someone I've just stopped talking to them with no explanation. I haven't had to break up with someone since I was 18, I might do things differently now.
  • IntoTheSky
    IntoTheSky Posts: 390 Member
    oh christ you're making me drag out that line again??

    technically I had already ended the relationship but he didn't recognize that...so when we finally called it quits, he dumped me with

    "you know if you hadn't lost all that weight we would still be together"

    yup.

    awesomesauce right there folks.

    SAMESIES!!!!! Mine was how my ex told me he wanted a divorce...... followed with "she looks like you did when you were younger and heavier, like I liked you."

    *kitten*! Oh well....... SO much better off now!
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    I have nothing to add, just following Tyler in here.

    But this thread should be your specialty.

    I have never been broken up with. When I've broken up with someone I've just stopped talking to them with no explanation. I haven't had to break up with someone since I was 18, I might do things differently now.

    You know what I meant!
  • itgeekwoman
    itgeekwoman Posts: 804 Member
    "You are an amazing guy... but we had sex too soon and now I can't take you seriously"

    OUCH!!
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    I have nothing to add, just following Tyler in here.

    But this thread should be your specialty.

    I have never been broken up with. When I've broken up with someone I've just stopped talking to them with no explanation. I haven't had to break up with someone since I was 18, I might do things differently now.

    You know what I meant!

    ..I'm lost. Did I say something wrong?
  • itgeekwoman
    itgeekwoman Posts: 804 Member
    I haven't been broken up with. I'm usually the one doing that. Been married 2nd time.. 13 years this time. 10 years the first time.

    Let's hope this is it :)
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    I've been dumped because "her parents loved me," and because "her parents hate me."
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    I have nothing to add, just following Tyler in here.

    But this thread should be your specialty.

    I have never been broken up with. When I've broken up with someone I've just stopped talking to them with no explanation. I haven't had to break up with someone since I was 18, I might do things differently now.

    You know what I meant!

    ..I'm lost. Did I say something wrong?

    Sigh...nevermind. My odd humor is lost, again. I'll go play in the corner with my human hair yarn balls now...by myself!
  • Chameleone
    Chameleone Posts: 281 Member
    One that I have used with an ex that didn't agree with the values in my family,

    "Remember when we were fighting about my family, and I asked you what happens if we keep having fights like this...and you said we're f*cked.....well I think we're f*cked"


    That's what happens when you tell me that my little sister's issues are my parents problem, not mine....
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
    So, i had this boyfriend who hated that i wore boy basketball shorts around the house and stuff, he was my neighbor so, we were like inseperable. well he would always be like change or ill break up with you and being young and stupid at the time i would at first,but one day we were sitting on my front steps and one day we were arguing about my basketball shorts and he said the famous line" change or ill break up with you and i stood up and said fine its over and slammed the door in his face and he had a shocked look on his face, priceless!

    Kelsey: +1
    Ricky: still loosing!

    th.jpg

    does that stand for gangster? lol
  • OspreyVista
    OspreyVista Posts: 464 Member
    "My other personality wants to kill you." At fist I thought the guy just used a stupid *kitten* fake issue to get out of the relationship, but I found out later that he actually did have multi-personality disorder, and that it was true. O.O SCARY!!
  • lik_11
    lik_11 Posts: 433 Member
    "You're the best thing that ever happened to me. The last couple of years have been the best years of my life... but I'm not good enough for you."

    I had NO idea that was our break up.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    I've been dumped because "her parents loved me," and because "her parents hate me."

    you mean "It's not me it's EWE...."


    right? right?
  • n2thenight24
    n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
    So, i had this boyfriend who hated that i wore boy basketball shorts around the house and stuff, he was my neighbor so, we were like inseperable. well he would always be like change or ill break up with you and being young and stupid at the time i would at first,but one day we were sitting on my front steps and one day we were arguing about my basketball shorts and he said the famous line" change or ill break up with you and i stood up and said fine its over and slammed the door in his face and he had a shocked look on his face, priceless!

    Kelsey: +1
    Ricky: still loosing!

    th.jpg

    does that stand for gangster? lol

    It stands for grammer nazi.

    And I don't have a line for someone breaking up with me, but there was this one guy who told me he had a brain tumor when I tried to break up with him, and could I please just make him happy for what little time he had left.... WTF?
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    "My other personality wants to kill you." At fist I thought the guy just used a stupid *kitten* fake issue to get out of the relationship, but I found out later that he actually did have multi-personality disorder, and that it was true. O.O SCARY!!

    Were you dating my brother?
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    BTW, if you've been told 'you're too good for me," they were right.
  • serena569
    serena569 Posts: 427 Member
    "There are plenty of other girls who WILL put out!" Not the exact wording, but yea, I was 16 and got dumped for not putting out.

    Me too but I was 13. He was my first love and has since slept his way through my high school friends. But, 30 years later, he is still one of my best friends.
  • plumsparkle
    plumsparkle Posts: 203 Member
    When i was younger, and a single mom with 2 smallish kids, I was dating a guy who said he wasn't bothered by the fact I had kids. Till he called round unexpectedly one day, and as I opened the door, I said before you come in, I have to warn you the kids have chickenpox, he asked if there was anything he could do, I desperately needed calamine lotion and asked him to pop to the local shop and get me some (less than 3 min walk away), he left for the shops and never came back!!

    ( i established later that he was alive, and had not been run over on his errand of mercy-he asked his mate to ring me to let me know he couldn't deal with all that being ill business- cool guy huh?!!) And i did get the calamine lotion eventually, my neighbour popped out and got me some!
  • xSakura
    xSakura Posts: 288 Member
    "I don't wanna put up with your health problems, and I don't wanna regret not living my life"

    He got back with his self harming ex 2 weeks later.
  • stitchinhippie
    stitchinhippie Posts: 55
    "You are so sweet, I don't want to corrupt you." LOL
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