Fighting a never ending battle. Im ready to raise the flag

BloodGeist

Hey everyone,

I dont know where to really begin so ill just say what is on my mind. This will be my 4th attempt to lose weight (second time coming back to MFP) and I just feel like i cant do it. I am stuck in this vicsious never ending cycle and rut. I am just so tired of it and how it is such a hard struggle for me. I am so tired of it.

Doing the actual work out has never been a problem. I love doing both cardio and strength training. My biggest vices are time and food....

Its hard for me to plan to go workout. Between a full time job and a child, the only time i can go work out is at crack of dawn. I know I have to kick my self to get up but im just not a morning person, I have always liked working out after work. But I prefer to spend the little time left in the late evening with my son and wife.

Food.....i just love eating all types of food. After i get on a roll and am doing well, i always seem to break down and just go on a mad binge and absolutley sabatoge myself. My metabolism is so crappy, i promise you all i have to do is smell a brownie and just the molecules from it will make me gain 5 pounds. The first two times i began my journey to lose weight and better myself, i was really succesfull. I ended up losing well over 50+ pounds but I had to eat like a rabbitt and was on a strict 1500 cal limit.

Ive read a lot of books, articles tips from working out to nutrition and such. I know what is expected and has to be done but the same two road blocks continue to hit me over and over. Time and food. I know they say the number one reason people give up is when they make excuses for stuff. I dont want to make any......I am a male at age 28 6'0" and weigh over 280lbs. I am not getting any younger but I know the clock is ticking faster towards health problems if I dont do something very soon. I really need help

ctgirlscout

You will never lose weight if you give up. Just keep at it...if you fail one day, start over the next. Just think of all the benefits of losing weight...especially having the energy to play with your son. You are right that you are not getting any younger...in five years, you will still be five years older, regardless of whether you lose weight. Wouldn't it be better to be five years older and more fit? Take it from me...I am 52 and been overweight for 26 years...half my life...it doesn't get any easier when you get older!

BloodGeist

Trust me ctgirlscout, I dont want to give up....I just dont know why its so damn hard.....

some1toluv

what helped me was joining a weight loss competition. i dont know if they have any in your area but being more accountable (with weekly weigh ins) to someone other then myself..helped me stay focused. I was at a standstill with my weight loss since June but just recently lost 10 lbs in 4 weeks - what did it? the weight loss competion!

also be aware of when you want to over eat. is it boredom? anxiety? depression? tackle the problem and dont turn to food for comfort. i know its hard but u will get through...

chinny88

I know how this feels... I'm looking for friends on mfp to help motivate me and I in turn wish to help motivate them feel free to add me

emalem12

I think you need a work out buddy. Support via the internet is great, but I know having like minded people keeping fit with me, it goes more smoothly. How about your family? Does your wife keep in shape? Also, in a way, your fitness level can benefit your relationship with your son. Regardless of how young he is, he can pick up on your mood, and if you are unhappy, that's not good for your family. Try making more sustainable changes, work out for shorter periods of time and don't eat quite so rabbit-like. Gotta form good habits!

Akimajuktuq

Exercise is great, but diet is first and foremost. For me, until I chose a different food lifestyle not only could I NOT stick with restricting calories, I was also extremely sick. Don't give up, but keep an open mind and find a way that WORKS for you. Fighting hunger didn't work for me. There are ways to eat where the need to over-eat disappears and so do a whole bunch of other health problems, physical and psychological.

Nerdy_Rose

Your diary states that your daily goal is 1500 calories, and that you are a 28 year old male. Depending on your height, it sounds like you are trying to restrict your calories too low, and it's causing frustration that results in overeating. Try calculating your TDEE and subtracting 15% to get your daily goal -- I bet it's way more than 1,500/day and you can still lose weight.

msbunnie68

How old is your son? Is he in a stroller or is he big enough to ride a bike? How does your wife feel about going jogging with you after work? If your son is too young, stick him in the stroller and push and jog? (Your wife may opt to stay home and have a child free half hour - win win for you both). If he is too big for a stroller then how about he rides a bike while you jog next to him.

If jogging is a bit too much yet, then take the above and make it a family walk instead.

As for food, get a box and ask your wife to help you go through your food in the pantry. Put anything that the two of you agree is not for you in the box and take it to a donation centre. Feel good that you are doing something for your family and someone else's family at the same time.

Another thing to try is look at any of the kids DVD's that your son has. Does he have anything like the Wiggles etc that do songs in concert/perform etc? If so, 'watch' it with your son and do all the movements the performers do. Your son will love it and join in and you will get one heck of a cardio workout. Your wife gets to watch and have a good giggle

Good luck in your plans.

timmymon

Hi. Breathe. Breathe again. You got this. Just relax and do what you need to do :flowerforyou:

yallcallmedeb

I found it very helpful at the beginning of my journey was to follow the biggest loser diet plans from their cookbooks. They use a large variety of foods with brightly colored and visually appealing meals. I found it difficult to eat all of the food. Down side was the time to prepare meals

EatClean_WashUrNuts

Stop making excuses.
Stop Trying...it sets the foundation for failure.

Choose, Take Action and Succeed.

1yoyoKAT

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling defeated. Here is an idea for you...

You don't have to do everything all at once. Since time is a factor for you, how about not going to a gym to work out for now? Give yourself permission to work on your diet and get that better settled first. You say you want to spend time with your family... how about going for walks with them in the evening? Not only will you be getting exercise, but you will be kept away from the temptation of food too, not to mention the quality time you'll have with them.

I can't promise it's easy, but I can promise it's worth it. I am almost twice your age and I agree with ctgirlscout, it sure doesn't get any easier as you age. Now is the time. Take it day by day, step by step... we know you can do it!

totustuusmaria

Losing weight is hard. Maintaining weight is heard. Staying overweight is hard. You have to choose your hard. It is most certainly hard (and it sounds really hard for you due to your life circumstances). BUT Nothing worth doing was ever easy and YOU CAN DO IT. To be living the life you are living and staying above water you are a strong person. You can take a lot. You are strong enough to overcome this. Never give up. I maintained the same weight for a year and couldn't lose under it, and now suddenly I am losing again. I am so glad I never gave up. You will look back and be glad you didn't either. There is nothing that can stop you from getting where you want to get except your actions and your words. You control that. Don't let them stop you. You are going to look back a year from now and be so glad you started today and kept going.

Just take one pound at a time.

We can't wait for perfect conditions or else we won't do anything. Don't give up. You can do this.

Some tips I use...

1) Brush your teeth when you are feeling temptation

2) Say to yourself "I DO NOT eat that." When you see something that is tempting you. Promptly turn away from it. Convince yourself by saying those words aloud that you do not eat that anymore. Give it up. Make a resolution. It is so powerful.

3) Read material that is inspirational and committed/determined. You have to keep yourself in a positive, inspired frame of mind. Get a pinterest. Post inspriing things on it. Print out some stuff (pictures that inspire you or make you want to do something about yourself, quotes, etc. and stick it on your alarm, fridge, door, etc.) Read books on how to quit bad habits, how to better yourself, etc.)

mockchoc

Your diary states that your daily goal is 1500 calories, and that you are a 28 year old male. Depending on your height, it sounds like you are trying to restrict your calories too low, and it's causing frustration that results in overeating. Try calculating your TDEE and subtracting 15% to get your daily goal -- I bet it's way more than 1,500/day and you can still lose weight.

^ This is exactly what I was going to say. I eat more than that and I'm an older very short woman that only walks for exercise!!! Eat more and you'll be able to stick to it long term and still lose.

mztrackfield010407

You can do it!!! Keep trying!! Make sure you have lots of support, REAL support!

Barbellerella

Get a handle on your diet first, then worry about the exercise after. It looks to me like your BMR is 2500 calories. I think 1500 calories might be too aggressive for you right now, and causing you to sabotage your efforts.

Go here and see for yourself.. http://www.fat2fitradio.com/tools/bmr/

smkey

I know how it can feel! I have spent half of my life overweight and trying every gimmick in the book and some that weren't.... In the end it was simple for me, but the hard part has been keeping it off. I've done well for a year, but have put a few pounds on recently, so I'm back at it again before it gets out of control.
Breaking things into smaller goals has helped me. Not focusing on losing 60 or more lbs but looking at the 6 I wanted to lose this month.
The time to workout is hard. I have chosen exercise over sleep more often than I care to count but in the end, I believe it serves me better. As you get healthier, hopefully your metabolism will change with you.
Don't give up! You are stronger than you believe. The fact that you've tried on several occasions means you are persistent and you WILL conquer fat cells! If you have a bad day, just start over the next. Don't make it a bad week because that turns into a bad month. I have worked "cheat days" into "diet" now, so that I can have pizza with my son or go out to eat and enjoy real food. So give yourself a day a week to do 2500 calories instead of 1500 or something like that.
You got this!

missmegan831

“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!”

― Audrey Hepburn

ixtapavangogh

I have to concur. 1500 calories for a 28 year old male is WAY too few. Of COURSE you're going to sabotage; you feel deprived. You need to calculate what to do for just a little weight loss over time and NEVER let yourself feel deprived. If you want to eat the Twinkies, EAT THE DAMN TWINKIES and let that be your meal.

butterflylady86

We all have felt that way. But if you don't try you never know the outcome. I have wanted to be thin my whole life. Everytime I started really great. I would give up cause. I didn't love myself enough to continue on with the journey. But now I love myself more then anything. I deserve this gift of healthy life. Hey 55 pounds are gone forever. Now the rest of the journey to go still. Look inside your heart and mind and decide for yourself. As for me. I pick being healthy and happy anytime. You can do this if your ready. Bless you

WhitneyT586

Wake up every day and make the choice to do what is right. Set your alarm a half hour early and go for a walk. Don't try to cut calories too low. Eat, but eat healthy foods and allow yourself a treat every day if needed. When I started and what I'm back to doing now is protein shake for breakfast, big chicken or chef salad for lunch, 200 calorie snack of fruit and cheese or yogurt, 500 calorie dinner. I have a treat nearly every day of wine and dark chocolate. Don't try to do what every one tells you to do. You have to do what works for you and you only! Take the advice from others and combine it all into your own plan. I wish you luck and willpower!

NorthWoodsLee

Three things have helped me: 1) I read an article in The Atlantic that gave me the confidence that, despite all of my past failures, it could be done and taught me that sites like MFP are crucial; (2) I started paying attention to the glycemic load of the food I was eating. That meant to cut out processed white flours and pure sugars, to eat whole grains with at least 3 grams of fiber, and to try always to eat a protein with carbs like natural fruits and vegetables. This keeps me from craving more sugary crap; and (3) I finally gave in/quit trying to use pure will power to only eat 3 meals a day and now eat 5 or 6 small meals every day - about every 3 hours, and always try to eat a protein (e.g., a small grilled chicken breast) and a piece of fruit or a nonfat greek yogurt with blueberries or raspberries. I'm never hungry, I rarely have cravings, and I find that it's very easy to cook 5 pounds of boneless skinless chicken breasts cut in half and keep them in a baggie in the refrigerator. I take 2 or 3 with me to work in a smaller baggie, along with some greek yogurts and fruit, and I'm ready for anything. I'll mix in some salads, etc.

I just went in to far more detailed info than I intended. But the keys are: 1) truly believe you can do it - it is 100% a mental game; 2) don't eat crap that either causes a sugar rush and crash or has so many fat calories in it that if you stay under your calorie target you're always feeling deprived and starving because you can't eat anything after your fatty lunch; and 3) eat small meals often. It's worked for me. Down 83 lbs since May 14 and I'm never hungry unless it's time for one of my small meals - and then I eat.

SWilcox818

Is it possible to work out in the evenings after your son has gone to bed? Maybe your wife would enjoy working out also? There are all kinds of videos and work out equipment that can be used at home, rather than at a gym. I often have to work out after I put my daughter to bed because I'm also not a morning person. As everyone else said, just keep fighting. Weight loss is a battle and it's one we have to wage every single day. Take it one day at a time. Definitely re-evaluate your calories. I am shorter than you, weigh less and am eating more calories than 1500 and I'm losing. 17 pounds in 10 weeks. Not as fast as some people, but it's a pace I'm comfortable with. Best of luck, keep fighting!

stacy_1971

Don't you dare raise that flag!

You have a wife and child who need you, and they need you healthy! Losing weight is hard, no doubt about it. I know, you know, we all know, it's hard. Yes, there are some people who seem to lose weight quicker, but you can't compare yourself to them. Just accept that life isn't fair and own your responsibility.

Now, I doubt you have a slow metabolism if you lost 50 pounds previously. As for exercise, you're going have to bite the bullet....it's either before or after work, unless you have a lunch hour. You do have two days off, I'm assuming, in which you can also exercise.

I don't mean to come down hard on you, you seem like a nice family man, so that's why I want you to keep paddling, or whatever metaphor motivates you. Take care of you. You're worth it. You have the head knowledge, so put it to use!

britney523

Your like me , You try to dig in too deep! You want results and you want them now ! I'm learning that u have to take it slow make it about your life and not about your pant size. I am 27 and have gone up and down my whole life .. mainly up but the times I did go down I wasn't trying to lose weight as much as finding activities that I liked to do . I am very competitive and at 5' tall it's pretty hard to get anyone to take me seriously. I joined a Kickboxing gym and holy wow is it fun and BONUS calories burned. I am at the top of my up cycle right now and have made a decision today that I am going to find something I love and do it every day. Don't give it just because it's hard, make it easier and take it slower. PS I've got that same metabolism and it sucks to see everyone around you eating their little hearts out and not gaining an ounce but so what our bodies are really good at telling us whats wrong with what we are doing and if we listen to them that scale will go down and our energy will go up ! Good Luck ... Don't give up ... I'm around if you need more support !

MaxineSummer

I am 20 years older than you and must say that most of my adult life has been and still am duelling with same problems around food as you've described.

One important step is to get help in order to solve the binge eating and get emotional eating under control. Believe me unless the root of the problem isn't cured,no matter how much will power,knowledge,and disciplines you put out there, then something will trigger the head eating and the vicious circle starts.

Your age is at your advantage, so you still have time to use your metabolism and sources of help out there. One day that you don't see food as enemy that controls you,then the weight will start to come off and you'll be free of all these head games.

In the mean time just choose healthy,fresh options and instead of pushing yourself to go to the gym,just play football with your sun or friends, go swimming,walking in the parks,cycling,table tennis,bowling, trampoline with your family, and don't think what will you be eating for the next meal until you are really hungry.

cebreisch

You don't have to eat like a rabbit, but I will tell you that the higher quality of food you have, the more you can eat. One key is to not deprive yourself - that'll cause you to want to binge in a millisecond. BUT when you do have those foods that you love, don't bring them into the house. Go out to lunch...try having only half of it, or some other way perhaps to not wolf the whole thing, and don't take any home. That way you can get it out of your system. Here's my blog on some things that have helped me along the way:
http://baysweightloss.blogspot.com/2012/05/things-that-have-helped-along-way.html

My husband gets up in the mornings, or waits until the girls go to bed to do his exercise. I go to the gym on the way home, or will walk around the neighborhood before I pick them up from our neighbor's house.

One of my doctors said if there's any time to be selfish it's now, because if you don't get a little selfish, then you lessen the chances of getting to your goal - getting healthy so you can spend more quality time with your family.

You can do this!!!

Mummyadams

I work full time too. I have a family too. I am busy too. I love food too.
I get up at 5.30am to get to the gym. I say no to foods that aren't good for me. I say no to that wine after work.
I don't like to get up at 5.30am but I do. I don't know many people who wouldn't rather stay in bed.
I do it - and so can you.

MeganGable

Keep your head up buddy! Ok? I'm beginning my weight loss journey for the zillionth time. I never give up trying though...are your priorities in order for yourself? Are there time-sucking activities you can take out of your day??? That's what I did. Do you watch tv? Get rid of the cable, I don't have it anymore and i don't really miss it, but I'm much less getting sucked into stuff and find other things to do that focus on me and my husband. And it saves money! Don't waste time on facebook, I got rid of that crap too. I focus on myself now. I even got rid of my iphone (which I do miss sometimes, but I have an ipad I do play on a little bit each day here and there). I come on myfitnesspal. Literally, get rid of all things that you can and youll be able to zero in your focus on you/health, your wife, and child more. I promise! Eat less meat and cheese! AND less bread/pasta. Only eat WHOLE WHEAT pastas and breads. Get ezekiel or genesis bread....its a little more expensive but sooooo helpful to digestion and you don't feel clogged all the time! Cool it on the salt!!! Salt your own foods so you know how much your putting in. Only eat out like once a week or less.

ktsmom430

Maybe try to approach this from a different angle. My daughter is your age. My biggest regret is not doing this when she was little so I could do more with her when she was growing up. Do it for your son, your wife and yourself. All things are possible with determination and perseverance. You can do this, and you and your family are worth it. Little steps. Attainable short term goals. One day at a time. You will be surprised at how quickly the months go by, and the goals and challenges that you meet and surpass. The very best of luck to you.