A Man's Guide To Pleasing A Woman At Christmas

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Replies

  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    I'd rather have a special experience, traveling to a new place would do it for me.

    Ohhhhhh, I'm the only one here that doesn't want an object. Oh well. :)
  • gingerveg
    gingerveg Posts: 748 Member
    I'm also not easily impressed but yeah you just taught me something about myself -bravo! but as others have said know your lady. for instance, if my man bought me some nasty perfume that had been tested on animals I'd be pissed (of course he knows that). But anyway that doesn't take away from the spirit of what you wrote it was an excellent article.
  • 04ddt67
    04ddt67 Posts: 2
    Wow!!! If this is all you talking, you have a very lucky wife!!!
  • saraann4
    saraann4 Posts: 1,296 Member
    I should let my boyfriend read this. Although now, we just give each other lists for Christmas. Not saying we get everything on the list, but we can pick and choose. It would be nice if he went a little above and beyond, which he does occasionally, but not all the time.
  • Katbody10
    Katbody10 Posts: 369 Member
    That's really over thinking the whole process .. I'd much rather prefer a trip over anything at all. I love traveling and would rather live in a shoe box just so I can have the money to travel.

    I've traveled my whole life and want to continue doing so with someone special .. I've bought my KitchenAid and fancy kitchen gadgets myself. I'd prefer to pick my own kitchen goodies and household goodies :smile:

    Anything considerate and thoughtful is always most welcome .. jewelry is lovely however I'd prefer the cost of that thousand (or more dollar) piece of jewelry be better spent on nice travel arrangements to someplace new and exciting..

    I'd be happy with a ski trip too or a get away for an extended weekend (4-5 days) in a cozy resort or lodge. What's important for me wouldn't be the electronic gadget or shoes or kitchen thingy or anything like that .. it's spending time with that special someone and making memories like that. So how ever that gets achieved .. would mean the world to me over something that may become outdated, out of style, broken or out of warranty!

    Just spending quality time at home .. doing things together .. priceless!

    Pampering is awesome though .. I like a spa day or something like that too ..:flowerforyou: :heart:
  • Sassy922
    Sassy922 Posts: 399 Member
    I'd rather have a special experience, traveling to a new place would do it for me.

    Ohhhhhh, I'm the only one here that doesn't want an object. Oh well. :)

    I'd love a trip, and my husband knows that. He's given me a few short vacations to bowl games the past few years (since 2008). And I'm a little more than sad that we won't be carrying the tradition on this year because of financial reasons.

    And to the OP, very well written, and your lady sure is lucky.
    Also, Gonzo brought a up a good point, knowing your lady is very important in all of this.
  • Nikki31104
    Nikki31104 Posts: 816 Member
    WOW!!!!! If my man did something like this we probably wouldn't leave the bedroom for a week. Don you are a man who knows his woman.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    My husband and I get gifts for our children. I ask my husband what he would like. He deserves a gift that he will enjoy. I take the kids out and we buy one or two of the things he asked for and sometimes also some new shirts. And for me I usually have him take the kids out to buy something we need around the home to be my gift because I don't usually feel like I need anything at Christmas time. Sometimes he orders me something that he knows I really want (like a hat, lingerie, or a necklace that comes with a donation to a charity that is important to me).
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    OP, you should teach a course.

    I would pay to send my man to it.
  • JanaCanada
    JanaCanada Posts: 917 Member
    Women will go to the ends of the earth (or to a bookstore, incognito) in search of the answer to the age-old question: When it comes to gifts, why is my husband such a klutz? Such a question is never asked aloud, however. It would make us women appear ungrateful for the smallest gestures our men attempt, but let’s face it: It’s hard to fake a smile when you get a bowling ball for your birthday.

    Why is it that most husbands think the ultimate present for a wife must include a cord and a 90-day warranty? Never one to break with masculine tradition, Hubs gave me a toaster for Christmas last year. When he recognized the look of disappointment on my face, he exclaimed, “Honey, look…it has wide slots for bagels!” That he is the only member of our family who actually eats bagels is exactly my point.

    Rule #1 of “The Men’s Top Ten Rules for Buying Gifts for Wives” by I. M. Anidiot: If you are forced to unlock your wallet and part with your beloved cash, purchase something that serves more than one function, preferably functions that will benefit you as well as your wife. The little woman can’t get enough gadgets and power tools to make her life more convenient. And don’t forget to be thoughtful - buy extra batteries.

    Rule #2: Buying flowers for no reason whatsoever will make a wife suspicious that you have done something immoral, illegal, or both. Flowers are for apologies only. Why buy something that will eventually die, anyway? And really, what’s the USE of flowers other than to decorate a funeral parlor? When her time comes, buy her all she’s ever wanted.

    Rule #3: Jewelry is pretty but it’s not permanent. Sooner or later, women have to take it off. Then you’ll either be stuck under the sink trying to fish it out of the sweaty drainpipe, or following the stupid dog around for days with a pooper-scooper after he’s mistaken a brooch for a hamburger patty.

    Rule #4: Giving candy as a gift will only make your wife suspect that you think she’s fat. Then you will have to deal with the teary consequences as you backpedal your way into the doghouse. Even if she’s not fat, do you really want to give her something that might push her in that direction?

    Rules #5: A weekend getaway vacation? What, and miss your Saturday evening lodge meeting/bowling night/poker game/hockey practice with the buddies? ‘Nough said.

    Rules #6: Perfume smells nice…at first. After a week, you’ll miss her usual “fried bacon and laundry detergent” scent. Perfume has cling-on power. It’s no picnic being teased by your beer buddies because one wifely hug has you smelling like a girl. Perfume is also a dangerous gift because it has the power to drown out the best of manly aromas such as “that new car smell” and barbequed meat.

    Rule #7: A night out without kids is a nice gift idea, but purchase the theatre tickets well in advance; otherwise, your wife will choose a “chick flick” at the box office. Should you fail to plan ahead, then purchase the jumbo sized popcorn and hold it shoulder height. This will hide your face from the smarter guys who pre-purchased their Arnold Schwartzeneggar movie tickets when they see you enter the theatre doors marked “Thelma And Louise”.

    Rule #8: Unless you really like raw fish skewered with kelp on a toothpick, don’t even think about a restaurant dinner as a gift. Women will never choose the all-you-can-eat buffets, man! Nor will they opt for steakhouses that let you have the five-pound T-bone for free if you can eat it all at one sitting without dying of a heart attack on the premises.

    Rule #9: If you’re inclined to present the little woman with clothing, you’d better know her sizes perfectly. Give a size 20 woman a size 2 shirt and she will think it’s a gag gift. Give a size 2 woman a size 20 shirt and she will gag you. Never, ever buy lingerie. Your taste runs somewhere between leather panties and metal spikes, while her taste undoubtedly leans towards Little Bo Peep, and never the twain shall meet. If you really must buy lingerie, never buy too small. If you unwittingly make this mistake, never excuse yourself by claiming, “But, Hon, I held it up to the clerk. She looked about your size.”

    Rule #10: Never agree to skip the husband/wife gift exchange at Christmas and opt for the one large joint purchase unless you put it in writing. Women are notorious for breaking oral husband/wife agreements. Without a contract, come Christmas morning, you’d better have something under the tree for her, as there are sure to be at least ten gifts for you there.
  • ladytinkerbell99
    ladytinkerbell99 Posts: 970 Member
    Great article. Thanks for posting.
  • emyishardcore
    emyishardcore Posts: 352 Member
    That's soo long.
  • waskier
    waskier Posts: 254 Member
    ****-in-a-box-o.gif

    I would point out that those boxes are exactly what Lush bath bombs come in......
  • kaseysospacey
    kaseysospacey Posts: 499 Member
    Yeah, my SO buys me books, video games, and movies. Much better :) Edited to add that he also buys me delicious vinyl records.
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
    Very sweet. I guess all women are different though... I don't want any of those things.
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
    I second about women being different....i have never been one for jewelry (i actually don't wear it, and my ears aren't pierced), we have a kitchen aid already (mind you my hubby bought it for himself, i use it more), i don't wear perfumes (they break me out), we have a stand only shower, so no bath salts, and honestly, I would be happy with having some new clothes, a new pair of shoes, stuff to craft with, fitness stuff, and most importantly, him and our child for Christmas. :bigsmile:

    Edit: but I do have to give you credit OP on the writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • mindyjo74
    mindyjo74 Posts: 68 Member
    Seriously are you single??? You are making this WAY to complicated! Buying for women at Christmas is as simple as knowing her and listening to her. Thats it...plain and simple. Men are to self absorbed most of the time which is why they struggle with this sort of thing. Really though, just pay attention to her and she will guide you on what she wants, needs or desires! :happy: :happy:
  • DreamersWifey
    DreamersWifey Posts: 181 Member
    So thoughtful...I'm emailing this to my husband
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
    WOW.
  • StinkyWinkies
    StinkyWinkies Posts: 603 Member
    I liked this post...It reminded me of the best, yes; I mean Best xmas gift I was ever given...it was a pen. It was a very well thought out choice. I was in college, it was my favorite color and it was "futuristic" in design...the day nearly 10 years later that I lost it I was inconsolable (I let a store clerk borrow it and when I went to get it back it was gone) I've never found one like it anywhere. But then he was always giving me thoughtful gifts...damn shame he married someone else.
  • TakinSexyBack
    TakinSexyBack Posts: 300 Member
    Funny and true!!! I have one of those husbands I will need to print this for............haha.
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    Crazy because my sister is dying for a Kitchenaid Stand Mixer
  • YaGigi
    YaGigi Posts: 817 Member
    Too much effort is a turn off.

    Give me a gold Rolex Daytona and no need to wrap the box.
  • kaseysospacey
    kaseysospacey Posts: 499 Member
    Very sweet. I guess all women are different though... I don't want any of those things.

    yeah this comes off really generic and sexist. Like all women want to cook and have jewelry/perfume (vanities). Nothing mentally stimulating.
  • crissy_percival
    crissy_percival Posts: 2,447 Member
    be fun nice, listen. take them places and be honst
  • laddyboy
    laddyboy Posts: 1,565 Member
    Nice...now can we get a guide on... never mind? LOL
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Brilliant post. Just don't (and I mean under no circumstances) forget the card! No matter how much money you just spent, that $5 card is going to make all the difference.
  • crissy_percival
    crissy_percival Posts: 2,447 Member
    very true. and show that you care
  • heidimaggott78
    heidimaggott78 Posts: 203
    You need to have words with my husband.

    Even if I write down what I want, I get what I don't want.
  • heidimaggott78
    heidimaggott78 Posts: 203
    Very sweet. I guess all women are different though... I don't want any of those things.

    yeah this comes off really generic and sexist. Like all women want to cook and have jewelry/perfume (vanities). Nothing mentally stimulating.

    The idea of this post, was for men to PAY ATTENTION to what their wives/girlfriends need/want/desire. Obviously if you enjoy something else, then your husband/boyfriend should PAY ATTENTION and get that.

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