I don't know if my boyfriend is 'the one'?

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13

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  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,636 Member
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    How long have you been together? If its more than 6 months I would be pissed if he said something like that. If less, then maybe you are coming on too strong.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    Sleep with his brother, that's usually a pretty good test
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
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    I'm really starting to question whether my boyfriend is right for me. I was talking about our future and I said that I was looking for something extra ordinary and that I think he might be my soul mate. His reply was 'well I like spending time with you' and I was like...'so that's it?' and he says 'yeah, I don't like to think too deeply about it'. I don't know if I can settle for having someone just liking spending time with me....you know? maybe I'm over thinking it.

    What do you think?

    Just reading your post made me want to pull away from you. I don't see anything wrong with him just liking to spend time with you. What exactly were you hoping for as a response from him?
  • grawrrrr
    grawrrrr Posts: 336
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    How long have you been together? If its more than 6 months I would be pissed if he said something like that. If less, then maybe you are coming on too strong.

    6 months is even too short! Holy hell...
  • cubizzle
    cubizzle Posts: 900 Member
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    Sleep with his brother, that's usually a pretty good test

    or sister, if he doesn't have a brother. If only child move to father, or young uncle
  • CrisN99
    CrisN99 Posts: 159 Member
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    The short answer is ' Its you, not him'.

    IME, if you have to back someone into a corner to get a declaration of love- you're probably better off alone for a while. We must first be happy with ourselves. Always.
  • DoomCakes
    DoomCakes Posts: 806 Member
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    I vote for overthinking. Guys are not emotional wells that over flow with emotions and gush with how much they adore and cherish you. I think some girls expect more out of guys because of movies/books that convey the "perfect love life". He says he enjoys spending time with you, that's something better than nothing. I'd honestly avoid future talks for a bit longer. If that's all he is saying, it sounds like you've only been together a short time. He needs more time. Guys don't want to think about the future with you right away... Just keep on enjoying time with him, and him enjoying time with you.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    Sleep with his brother, that's usually a pretty good test

    bingo

    easy, convenient...time tested....and will qualify you for the Jerry Springer show....double win
  • gonnasee33
    gonnasee33 Posts: 163
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    does he look like this ?
    The-one.jpg

    If not .. then hes NOT the one
  • Lyssa62
    Lyssa62 Posts: 930 Member
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    I'd say he's not if you are posting that on a fitness board. Save yourself a lot of heartache and end it now. Or you can end up like me...50 years old married to the same (wrong one) for 26 freaking years wondering why I didn't listen to people who told me "don't do it"
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    lets-break-up.gif \m/

    Dear John Letter, 2012
  • DoomCakes
    DoomCakes Posts: 806 Member
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    How long have you been together? If its more than 6 months I would be pissed if he said something like that. If less, then maybe you are coming on too strong.

    6 months is even too short! Holy hell...

    I hope you mean 6 months for him to talk about being seriously in love with you... not marriage kids retirement. >_> Otherwise... you're getting pissed for a silly reason.
  • littlewhittles
    littlewhittles Posts: 402 Member
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    Sounds like you're more into him than he is into you. You can either stick it out and hope his feelings grow, or ditch him and find someone who's equally excited about the prospect of spending the rest of his life with you.
  • grawrrrr
    grawrrrr Posts: 336
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    both of u are to young. If I could go back in time, I never would have married my first husband-we are divorced now. The man I am married to now I married when I was 32. WAY better choice. I chose a douche the first time hun.......

    I married my husband when I was 19.

    How's that for young?

    Not every young couple are the annoying, crazy, roller coasters that you see on tv. When you know, YOU KNOW. And we are quite happy and still in love. :3
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,858 Member
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    TOPIC: I don't know if my boyfriend is 'the one'?

    Neither do we.


    this is just so like totally unsupportive and like we are all here for the same reason and that is to support journies and journals and stuff and get support and stuff

    *journeys

    He's just not that into you

    that
    But he still wants to hit it.

    Yup
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
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    I think every guy is different. My husband told me the first time we met he knew we'd be married one day.
    Others it takes years.
    It doesn't mean he's NOT the one.

    What matters is if YOU feel he's the one for you.
  • grawrrrr
    grawrrrr Posts: 336
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    How long have you been together? If its more than 6 months I would be pissed if he said something like that. If less, then maybe you are coming on too strong.

    6 months is even too short! Holy hell...

    I hope you mean 6 months for him to talk about being seriously in love with you... not marriage kids retirement. >_> Otherwise... you're getting pissed for a silly reason.

    That makes more sense. Phew.
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    Just break up..

    This got old months ago
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
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    Did he laugh at you when you said that? If so than he's the one.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    My fiance said to me he knew about 2 years ago that I was his "the one". We got together in 2005. Bought a house in 2007. In 2010 he finally clicked, got engaged in 2011 and getting married next Feb.

    Sometimes they're a bit slow, bless them.

    I giggled at this. Off topic, but my bf and I celebrate 10 years together tomorrow. He knows I am the one, but no ring yet! :laugh:
    Mine has told me he can't imagine his life without me and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but he gets actually angry if people assume we're married (living together eight years).

    If I was in any hurry to marry anyone at all, I would have left a long time ago or at least pushed the issue and made him choose.

    However, to answer the OP, not everyone is particularly expressive or comfortable about coming out and saying certain things. Actions are more important than words.

    And "soul mates"? Eh.

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