What would you think if you saw self harm scars?

BeautyFromPain

What would you honestly think if you saw self harm scars on someone? (Don't sugar coat it)...

I have been covering them up for years but it is coming up to summer and I would love to be able to wear shorts/dresses etc again. (I only have them on my thighs).

I'm not trying to show them off but does it mean I will never be able to wear dresses again?

LorinaLynn

I'd think, "That person went through some tough times." And if they were healed, I'd be happy that person was in a better place emotionally.

auzziecawth66

Unless they are really bad I don't know if a person would even really notice unless they were looking for them...

(and if anything I would just think I'm glad that person was strong enough to be able to get to a better happier place and not let their past get in the way of how they feel about their self now)

quirkytizzy

I would think "Hey. There's someone like me." I've got scars, too.

Something that may help - most people don't know what they are looking at when they see scars. Even if they are all long, identical, similarly placed, etc - the only people who will know what those scars actually are will be people who have histories themselves, maybe those who have loved ones who self-harmed.

It's a map etched into skin, but not everyone has the legend. That's always helped me feel less self-conscience.

mtabh

I have them, too. Mine are all over. I wouldn't think anything of it, except mabye "glad those are scars and not fresh". Hang in there. Best of luck.

matchbox_girl

Don't hide them. They represent the person you use to be, not the person you are now. You went through bad times, and you overcame them. The world is allowed to know that.

kaseysospacey

I have them, I dont think about it or cover them.

Mummyadams

I'd think, "That person went through some tough times." And if they were healed, I'd be happy that person was in a better place emotionally.

I agree!

BroiledNotFried

I don't understand the behavior. I'd think the person had some deep emotional issues, or at least did. I'd proceed with caution around the person until I knew better.

But, to be honest. I'd llikely think the scars were from an accident. Perhaps the person ran into a barbed wire fence while biking. I think the best of people. But, once I know there are emotional issues . . . I handle the person very carefully.

chocl8girl

I would think, "Hey, maybe I'm not as alone as I feel."

Duck_Puddle

I don't know that I would recognize them as self-harm scars. I am covered in scars, and would pray that the person did not endure what I did when I got mine. That aside, my scars are part of me and the experience that brought them about is a huge part of who I am. I don't hide them and nobody asks.

Madholm

Honestly I knew a girl with scars and the only thing I ever said was that if she was tempted to do it again to let me watch.

It was a joke, but I didn't think much of her having the scars since she seemed pretty well adjusted at the time.

SomeoneSomeplace

I have them too on my thighs and feel kind of embarrassed about them. Luckily they're really high up so they really only show if I'm in a Bikini or something. I guess that makes me more sensitive to noticing self-harm scars on others. If I saw that I'd understand that they went through something, if I was really close to the person, like dating then or something I might ask them about it or just offer them a listening ear if they ever wanted to tell me about it. But it would make me a little more cautious about the person especially in a romantic situations, I'd like them to be at a point in their lives when they are more stable. But I don't hold the past against people.

Mostly people who've seen mine have been boyfriends, it can be a tough conversation to have, since it's emotionally upsetting for someone who cares about you but if you assure them it's not something you do anymore etc my experience has been that people are understanding

MsDover

I'd think, "That person went through some tough times." And if they were healed, I'd be happy that person was in a better place emotionally.

This ♥

dakitten2

One of my sisters used to do this. My thoughts would be that I would hope that this person has finally found peace in their life and no longer feels the need to cut.

Contrarian

I would think that I'm glad they're still in the world. Then I would forget I ever saw them, and judge the person by who they are today.

The world can be a frightening place, but there is also a great deal of kindness in it.

GiddyupTim

As you are hearing, I think they are pretty common.

Rum_Runner

Honestly, if they were healed I would be happy to know that person hopefully found hope and help to cope with whatever caused them to harm/cut.

If they looked new - I would wonder what what going on to make them want to do that. If I knew them personally, might offer an ear to let them vent. But its not my business otherwise- I'd just hope they would find the help they need to avoid cutting/harming in the future.

No one knows others struggles - no room to judge!!

BeetleChe13

As long as they're definitely healed I wouldn't think much about it. In fact, I might admire that the person was strong enough to stop harming themselves. If they're fresh, it'd break my heart. :frown:

BurtHuttz

I wouldn't think anything of it. Although your username perturbs me considering your question!

BelindaDuvessa

If they were fresh, I would be concerned. If they are healed, I imagine that the person has adjusted since that time period. I work at a jail and see it often enough from both ends. I actually think I'm the only person that noticed them on the arms of one of our nurses. Other people hide it better. One girl even talked to me about it. But I try not to look down on anyone for it. I'd rather help the person through whatever they need, if they are willing to let me. But that is always their choice. I don't ever bring it up, unless they are already open about it. And I don't see a reason to hide them, especially if you have moved on.

junodog1

If they were fresh I might speak with the person. Old healed marks, not my husiness.

Jellyphant

I have a dozen+ thigh self harm scars from my... weird highschool years. They are not small. They're still quite wide and white-pink. I don't care if people see them or not, though. It was just a part of my life where I was a hormone riddled teenager with self esteem issues, but I've grown to not care if they offend or not.

TheLittleLebowski

It depends on how well I know the person, If it was someone I just met I probably wouldn't notice, if I did I'd give them little thought to be truthful.

toggerr

I have them too. They are just one of many reminders that I am a stronger, and happier person today than I used to be.

chivalryder

I'd think, "That person went through some tough times." And if they were healed, I'd be happy that person was in a better place emotionally.

I agree!

I'll third this.

That, and "meh."

artickb22

who cares what anyone else thinks...your always goingto have people out there that judge you whether for your scars, weight, height, the color of your skin or hair....be proud of who you are and what you have overcame in life. Wear those scars proudly because it shows that you had the strength to overcome hardship. You never know, someone who is going through something similar may see them and be encouraged by your history.

ericadawn92

Whether the scars were completely healed or fresh, I think I would be sad for the person. I'd hope that they were doing better/ok now, but I'd want to just tell them that it's gonna be ok or something.

My natural reaction to people being in pain (emotionally or physically) is to want to fix it for them.

I definitely wouldn't think less of someone for them though.

RobynMWilson

I'm in AA. I had a girl approach me and ask me to sponsor her I guess about 8 years ago now. I saw the cuts on her arms. I told her I could help her get sober but couldn't help her with the rest. I'm not a shrink.

Honestly, if I saw you on the street and these were scars and not fresh marks, I would hope you were in recovery and smile at you ...I never did self harm that way but my alcoholism was self harm. Takes one to know one.

You wanna wear the dress? F it! Wear it! Screw what others think if you're in recovery. If you're still doing it, get help.

cmcollins001

I'm not sure I could tell the difference between self harm scars and regular scars from other reasons.

rml_16

I saw some on a girl sitting in our car on the Monorail at Disney once. I just felt sad that she had felt the need to do that to herself, but she was a stranger, so of course I didn't stare or say anything to her. She didn't seem in the least self-conscious about them, though.