What would you think if you saw self harm scars?

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  • junodog1
    junodog1 Posts: 4,792 Member
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    If they were fresh I might speak with the person. Old healed marks, not my husiness.
  • Jellyphant
    Jellyphant Posts: 1,400 Member
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    I have a dozen+ thigh self harm scars from my... weird highschool years. They are not small. They're still quite wide and white-pink. I don't care if people see them or not, though. It was just a part of my life where I was a hormone riddled teenager with self esteem issues, but I've grown to not care if they offend or not.
  • TheLittleLebowski
    TheLittleLebowski Posts: 143
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    It depends on how well I know the person, If it was someone I just met I probably wouldn't notice, if I did I'd give them little thought to be truthful.
  • toggerr
    toggerr Posts: 15 Member
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    I have them too. They are just one of many reminders that I am a stronger, and happier person today than I used to be.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    I'd think, "That person went through some tough times." And if they were healed, I'd be happy that person was in a better place emotionally.
    I agree!

    I'll third this.

    That, and "meh."
  • artickb22
    artickb22 Posts: 411 Member
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    who cares what anyone else thinks...your always goingto have people out there that judge you whether for your scars, weight, height, the color of your skin or hair....be proud of who you are and what you have overcame in life. Wear those scars proudly because it shows that you had the strength to overcome hardship. You never know, someone who is going through something similar may see them and be encouraged by your history.
  • ericadawn92
    ericadawn92 Posts: 346 Member
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    Whether the scars were completely healed or fresh, I think I would be sad for the person. I'd hope that they were doing better/ok now, but I'd want to just tell them that it's gonna be ok or something.

    My natural reaction to people being in pain (emotionally or physically) is to want to fix it for them.

    I definitely wouldn't think less of someone for them though.
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
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    I'm in AA. I had a girl approach me and ask me to sponsor her I guess about 8 years ago now. I saw the cuts on her arms. I told her I could help her get sober but couldn't help her with the rest. I'm not a shrink.

    Honestly, if I saw you on the street and these were scars and not fresh marks, I would hope you were in recovery and smile at you ...I never did self harm that way but my alcoholism was self harm. Takes one to know one.

    You wanna wear the dress? F it! Wear it! Screw what others think if you're in recovery. If you're still doing it, get help.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
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    I'm not sure I could tell the difference between self harm scars and regular scars from other reasons.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I saw some on a girl sitting in our car on the Monorail at Disney once. I just felt sad that she had felt the need to do that to herself, but she was a stranger, so of course I didn't stare or say anything to her. She didn't seem in the least self-conscious about them, though.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    I'd think, "That person went through some tough times." And if they were healed, I'd be happy that person was in a better place emotionally.
    I agree!

    I'll third this.

    That, and "meh."

    ^^ This. We all have scars one way or another. Emotional or physical. I have a big one across my left "breast." Still wear bikinis and tops that show it. Don't much care what people think about my scars.

    Scars are from battle, whether from emotional trouble you've conquered, or physical injury, or your own body turning on you. They are scars, not wounds. They show you won. Wear them like badges.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    I'm not sure I could tell the difference between self harm scars and regular scars from other reasons.

    ^^I agree (the first time I saw self harm scars was when I was nine. My friend had them and she described the whole process of how she found her father's razor blades and cut herself.) But, scars happen from so many things. I would never guess why a person had scars.
  • totallydevious
    totallydevious Posts: 309 Member
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    I have scars in multiple places; all over my legs, my upper arms, my wrists and my tummy. I don't really try to hide them anymore, since they aren't fresh. [ I haven't cut in over a year. ] But like others have said, unless you've done that yourself, most people won't be able to notice what they are, but don't hide them anymore. They are apart of who you are and what you have been through in your life, not something you should be proud of but something you can look at and think, 'Man, I've come a long way.' :heart:
  • peanutbutterrunner
    peanutbutterrunner Posts: 85
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    I wouldn't think much of scars, and I wouldn't ask about them unless they were fresh.
    If you're concerned about people giving you crap about it, screw them! They aren't worth your time. :]
  • celebrity328
    celebrity328 Posts: 377 Member
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    I work in mental health so I do seem them a lot.

    But if it was someone, not a patient, I would think this person has much in common with me :)
  • johnnlinda
    johnnlinda Posts: 69
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    Everyone gave such great advice. Those are battle scars some of us have, more people than you think. Wear your dresses and don't worry what people think.
  • TommiEgan
    TommiEgan Posts: 256 Member
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    Some of us have battle scars, others have accident scars and some have self inflicted. No one should judge you based on them. They make you who you are, and signify a point in your life. Your body is a story.....don't be ashamed of it.
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    Wow I'm overwhelmed by all the replies - it's good to know I'm not the only one going through this!

    How long after stopping do you think they would be considered "healed?"
  • eatathome
    eatathome Posts: 81 Member
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    I wouldn't think anything, really; it's impossible to know what caused them (if they're even from self-harm), or what the person's been through, etc.

    I was never a cutter per se, but I have 3 really deep scars on my left arm that have since healed (they're over 10 years old--I now kick myself for not having them stitched up but I didn't want to be admitted so I steri-stripped them. They'd probably look fine now if I had stitches) and I had them covered in tattoos. But you can still see them if you look for them.
  • gingerveg
    gingerveg Posts: 748 Member
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    I have come across a few people who have them and honestly I don't think much of them. People go through all kinds of things. If people don't talk about their scars, I don't ask or try to give it much thought. Wear what makes you feel good and try to put others out of your mind. What it comes down to is that some people carry their scars on the outside, some on the inside, either way we all have them.

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