What would you think if you saw self harm scars?

2

Replies

  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    I'd think, "That person went through some tough times." And if they were healed, I'd be happy that person was in a better place emotionally.
    I agree!

    I'll third this.

    That, and "meh."

    ^^ This. We all have scars one way or another. Emotional or physical. I have a big one across my left "breast." Still wear bikinis and tops that show it. Don't much care what people think about my scars.

    Scars are from battle, whether from emotional trouble you've conquered, or physical injury, or your own body turning on you. They are scars, not wounds. They show you won. Wear them like badges.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I'm not sure I could tell the difference between self harm scars and regular scars from other reasons.

    ^^I agree (the first time I saw self harm scars was when I was nine. My friend had them and she described the whole process of how she found her father's razor blades and cut herself.) But, scars happen from so many things. I would never guess why a person had scars.
  • totallydevious
    totallydevious Posts: 309 Member
    I have scars in multiple places; all over my legs, my upper arms, my wrists and my tummy. I don't really try to hide them anymore, since they aren't fresh. [ I haven't cut in over a year. ] But like others have said, unless you've done that yourself, most people won't be able to notice what they are, but don't hide them anymore. They are apart of who you are and what you have been through in your life, not something you should be proud of but something you can look at and think, 'Man, I've come a long way.' :heart:
  • peanutbutterrunner
    peanutbutterrunner Posts: 85
    I wouldn't think much of scars, and I wouldn't ask about them unless they were fresh.
    If you're concerned about people giving you crap about it, screw them! They aren't worth your time. :]
  • celebrity328
    celebrity328 Posts: 377 Member
    I work in mental health so I do seem them a lot.

    But if it was someone, not a patient, I would think this person has much in common with me :)
  • johnnlinda
    johnnlinda Posts: 69
    Everyone gave such great advice. Those are battle scars some of us have, more people than you think. Wear your dresses and don't worry what people think.
  • TommiEgan
    TommiEgan Posts: 256 Member
    Some of us have battle scars, others have accident scars and some have self inflicted. No one should judge you based on them. They make you who you are, and signify a point in your life. Your body is a story.....don't be ashamed of it.
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    Wow I'm overwhelmed by all the replies - it's good to know I'm not the only one going through this!

    How long after stopping do you think they would be considered "healed?"
  • eatathome
    eatathome Posts: 81 Member
    I wouldn't think anything, really; it's impossible to know what caused them (if they're even from self-harm), or what the person's been through, etc.

    I was never a cutter per se, but I have 3 really deep scars on my left arm that have since healed (they're over 10 years old--I now kick myself for not having them stitched up but I didn't want to be admitted so I steri-stripped them. They'd probably look fine now if I had stitches) and I had them covered in tattoos. But you can still see them if you look for them.
  • gingerveg
    gingerveg Posts: 748 Member
    I have come across a few people who have them and honestly I don't think much of them. People go through all kinds of things. If people don't talk about their scars, I don't ask or try to give it much thought. Wear what makes you feel good and try to put others out of your mind. What it comes down to is that some people carry their scars on the outside, some on the inside, either way we all have them.
  • teryx123
    teryx123 Posts: 57 Member
    We are all shaped more by our scars than by our blessings. For some the scars are just more visible. You cannot live fully until you embrace them. Once you do, it won't matter who else sees them.
  • frood
    frood Posts: 295 Member
    I don't give things like that much thought. I recognize them, but that's about as far as it goes.

    I have a friend who recently started to wear the cap-sleeve tops. I DID have an extra thought about that. I was happy that she didn't feel like she had to hide under baggy sleeves.
  • TommiEgan
    TommiEgan Posts: 256 Member
    Wow I'm overwhelmed by all the replies - it's good to know I'm not the only one going through this!

    How long after stopping do you think they would be considered "healed?"

    It totally depends on the feelings attatched to the scar. I know for the scar left from when I had a pole go through my leg is a constant reminder that Steel poles and legs don't work in harmony and the one on my forehead reminds me never trust anyone standing behind you. As you can see, I use mine as reminders for things.
  • stines72
    stines72 Posts: 853 Member
    ive seen quite a few scars on girls around here.. my first thought is "i hope theyre doing better now" i am not a judgemental person at ALL, but i think a lot of people are.. specially the older folks
  • stines72
    stines72 Posts: 853 Member
    Wow I'm overwhelmed by all the replies - it's good to know I'm not the only one going through this!

    How long after stopping do you think they would be considered "healed?"

    It totally depends on the feelings attatched to the scar. I know for the scar left from when I had a pole go through my leg is a constant reminder that Steel poles and legs don't work in harmony and the one on my forehead reminds me never trust anyone standing behind you. As you can see, I use mine as reminders for things.

    how did you get a scar on your forehead from someone behind you?!
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
    Being that I have them myself, I would think it's someone who's been through a lot in life emotionally and leave it at that. I used to hide mine, but since they've faded so much, I don't care if anyone sees them. It's a reminder of where I was and how far I've come in terms of coping methods.
  • HurricaneElaine
    HurricaneElaine Posts: 984 Member
    I would think that I'm glad they're still in the world. Then I would forget I ever saw them, and judge the person by who they are today.

    The world can be a frightening place, but there is also a great deal of kindness in it.

    I would feel the same way.

    :flowerforyou:
  • TommiEgan
    TommiEgan Posts: 256 Member
    Wow I'm overwhelmed by all the replies - it's good to know I'm not the only one going through this!

    How long after stopping do you think they would be considered "healed?"

    It totally depends on the feelings attatched to the scar. I know for the scar left from when I had a pole go through my leg is a constant reminder that Steel poles and legs don't work in harmony and the one on my forehead reminds me never trust anyone standing behind you. As you can see, I use mine as reminders for things.

    how did you get a scar on your forehead from someone behind you?!

    I was sitting down at school and a kid came up and smashed my head into the edge of the table. Split my head open and ended up in hospital.
  • hkry3250
    hkry3250 Posts: 140
    I would think we had something in common.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
    Wow I'm overwhelmed by all the replies - it's good to know I'm not the only one going through this!

    How long after stopping do you think they would be considered "healed?"

    Although my scars are not from self-harm, in my eyes-the healing occurs in the mind, not on the skin. In my case, it took a very long time. The physical scars had long since healed and faded before my mind was good.
  • _CiaoParis
    _CiaoParis Posts: 166
    If I saw them I wouldn't judge them. I have scars too and people notice, but they don't say anything. Who knows what they think in their mind, but their opinion doesn't matter to me.
    You should wear what you want! x
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Honestly, I don't think I would even notice. If I did, I'd probably assume they were from a pet or an accident. If they're on your legs, I'd probably think they were stretch marks.
  • XxXWhitneyShereeXxX
    XxXWhitneyShereeXxX Posts: 160 Member
    I'd think that person had been through a lot in life and I would hope they were better and being safe
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    What would you honestly think if you saw self harm scars on someone? (Don't sugar coat it)...

    I have been covering them up for years but it is coming up to summer and I would love to be able to wear shorts/dresses etc again. (I only have them on my thighs).

    I'm not trying to show them off but does it mean I will never be able to wear dresses again?

    I don't have self harm scars....

    but I have some scars from various abusive relationships....I've always covered them up....long sleeved sweaters long pants....bathing suits with t shirts over top....etc....

    but this summer I threw that all out....

    and it was scary...

    i had ONLY one person ask....and I said...very simply....domestic abuse...

    and he shrugged and said oh...ok...........sorry.

    and left it at that.

    so yeah...people they all have their own baggage....we embrace ours with practicaility and logic, they will embrace it too.

    true. story.
  • spectralmoon
    spectralmoon Posts: 1,179 Member
    I'd think, "That person went through some tough times." And if they were healed, I'd be happy that person was in a better place emotionally.

    This ♥

    And same. ♥
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
    At a glance, I'd probably think they were cat/dog/rabbit/ferret etc. scratches, unless it was obvious self-harm.

    If it was, I would think '****. that sucks. I've been there and I'm sorry you've been there too'

    I probably wouldn't say anything because when I still had my scars (long-faded now) I would've been horrified if someone said anything to my face about them :frown:
  • LittleBallofFurr
    LittleBallofFurr Posts: 242 Member
    I would think "Hey. There's someone like me." I've got scars, too.

    Something that may help - most people don't know what they are looking at when they see scars. Even if they are all long, identical, similarly placed, etc - the only people who will know what those scars actually are will be people who have histories themselves, maybe those who have loved ones who self-harmed.

    It's a map etched into skin, but not everyone has the legend. That's always helped me feel less self-conscience.

    This
  • MsJulielicious
    MsJulielicious Posts: 708 Member
    I doubt many would actually notice, and if they did they would probably first think, perhaps accident. Honestly, it's really not anyone's business unless you make it their business, so maybe just don't metion it. Let your past be your past. If someone brings it up I'd probably say, Oh its something that happened a long time ago and I don't care to think about it cuz it hurt. Should be end of discussion.
  • SarahtheJillianfanatic
    SarahtheJillianfanatic Posts: 117
    I doubt I'd know what they were if I saw them. I don't examine other people's bodies very closely, nor have any knowledge of what such scars might look like (or where they'd be).

    Hope you're in a better place now. :flowerforyou:
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    You are definitely not alone. What stands out in your eyes may not be so obvious to others, and even if someone were to notice... a lot more people have suffered through it in the past than you might think. Your body is the most powerful piece of equipment you'll ever own, it is beautiful and unique, so try your best to never be afraid of it or ashamed of it. We all have our scars, some show and some don't. I hope you've found a better way to cope and are living healthily now without any self-harming.

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