needing some boyfriend advice!

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24

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  • hellraisedfire
    hellraisedfire Posts: 403 Member
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    just break up is the best advice..whether it came from Dani or n0ob....

    you told him your expectations...he listened, he agreed...and now he does this?

    do you really want to hang around and resent him later for it?

    you know you will.....

    oh I know. and I truly don't want to bring someone to a country they don't WANT to be in. that would be really hard for them. especially the language barriers, I know how it is learning a new language. *headdesk*
  • AuddAlise
    AuddAlise Posts: 723 Member
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    Decide where you want to live, move there, and THEN find a boyfriend.

    ^^THIS!
  • missprincessgina
    missprincessgina Posts: 446 Member
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    Decide where you want to live, move there, and THEN find a boyfriend.

    Agreed.
  • garnetsms
    garnetsms Posts: 10,018 Member
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    Decide where you want to live, move there, and THEN find a boyfriend.

    Agree

    Asking someone to go with you is a big request. It seems to me that you will be better off waiting till you get there to build on a relationship.
  • hellraisedfire
    hellraisedfire Posts: 403 Member
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    They never planned on moving in the first place, they just wanted to hit.

    :drinker: welcome to the "let me sleep on it" relationship...

    :laugh: not sure if I should be flattered or... well. I'll just be flattered. :drinker:
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,857 Member
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    According to your post, he did ASK if it would be ok to stay. .

    I think you sit him down and have a reasoned discussion explaining that you have to leave and you'd really like him to come with you. . He can then make a decision. . No need to fly off the handle or get mad.. People have cold-feet and second-thoughts all the time. . Moving to a different country is a big deal and maybe the guy just needs some time to wrap his mind around the implications (something he didn't do when he originally met you because it wasn't so real then). .

    Or. .

    Just break up. .
  • aimeev2
    aimeev2 Posts: 49 Member
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    it just gets to me that he knew I was planning on leaving and was "okay" with it, and now that we're emotionally invested in each other, he wants me to stay. I just wish he would've been open with it from the start. :(

    Sometimes people don't know how they'll really feel about something until they're faced with the fact that yeah, it's happening. Just go on your own, enjoy yourself, and you'll meet someone who's right for you. Grad school is a crazy, but fun, time and you'll meet a lot of people on your path who will already be living where you want to move. Good luck :)
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
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    Do what makes YOU happy. Never ever base a life decision on what will make someone else happy. Trust me on this one...
  • paeli
    paeli Posts: 295 Member
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    Just go with what you had planned, this is your life, your decision, you obviously want to move, so do it. You'll find someone else.
  • MrsPong
    MrsPong Posts: 580 Member
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    Don't move or not move because of a boyfriend. You will REGRET it.
    If you marry him...then have him or you follow. I married my husband knowing he was going to be a life-marine. I've moved 3 times already for him.... and plan on doing so until the day he retires.
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    Wait until you actually move to the new country to find a boyfriend instead of trying to drag some poor guy along with you. No doubt the new guy will be much happier with his surroundings than an out-of-place guy would.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    So if you recently broke up with the last guy why would the new guy move if you've recently started dating?

    you're doing it wrong.
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    just break up...


    MWAHAHAHAH...I got here first.

    Now on to more (hopefully) useful advice.

    tumblr_meogn1QCJC1rg2ax6o1_500.gif

    Look what you've started!! LOL
  • hellraisedfire
    hellraisedfire Posts: 403 Member
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    :) thank you everyone. I feel like a jerk because I still plan on going to grad school in Iceland or Sweden and my mother doesn't approve of me leaving like that. but. I know that's where my heart is and where I'd be happiest.
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
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    just break up is the best advice..whether it came from Dani or n0ob....

    you told him your expectations...he listened, he agreed...and now he does this?

    do you really want to hang around and resent him later for it?

    you know you will.....

    I could not agree with this MORE. It's not like you're dropping this on him at the last second; he knew this was your plan from the start. He either doesn't care enough about your feelings to respect your wishes, OR he thinks he can guilt or convince you into staying. Either way is not a healthy relationship IMO, and I suggest you leave him in the dust and enjoy your new dream life in Europe, just like you always wanted.

    ETA: I don't blame you for wanting to go to Sweden, I absolutely LOVED it there. Jealous!
  • FluttershySweetie
    FluttershySweetie Posts: 216 Member
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    Life is too short to short change your dreams. If your intentions have been clear all this time, then see ya later!
    I have made sacrifices for boyfriends in the past and no I don`t regret it but now that I look back on it I should have done what I really wanted to do.
    Do what feels right to you.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
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    Why not just wait until you move? It seems pretty unreasonable to me to expect someone to uproot themselves and leave their friends/family to move to a new country with someone they aren't even in a committed relationship with.

    Will you explode and die if you AREN'T dating someone when you move? Do you need someone to move with you? Just go.
  • fit_for_30
    fit_for_30 Posts: 8
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    Decide where you want to live, move there, and THEN find a boyfriend.

    This.

    Don't give up your dreams for anyone. If he doesn't understand then he's not worth it. :)
  • ILoveTheBrowns
    ILoveTheBrowns Posts: 661 Member
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    im single and willing to relocate....problem solved
  • hellraisedfire
    hellraisedfire Posts: 403 Member
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    just break up is the best advice..whether it came from Dani or n0ob....

    you told him your expectations...he listened, he agreed...and now he does this?

    do you really want to hang around and resent him later for it?

    you know you will.....

    I could not agree with this MORE. It's not like you're dropping this on him at the last second; he knew this was your plan from the start. He either doesn't care enough about your feelings to respect your wishes, OR he thinks he can guilt or convince you into staying. Either way is not a healthy relationship IMO, and I suggest you leave him in the dust and enjoy your new dream life in Europe, just like you always wanted.

    ETA: I don't blame you for wanting to go to Sweden, I absolutely LOVED it there. Jealous!

    :laugh: you're the first person who's EVER said that to me about Sweden. usually I get the D: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU.

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