No support from family or boyfriend...

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  • CandaceHoweth91
    CandaceHoweth91 Posts: 288
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    I so wish my husband would get on the boat with me. He is by no means over weight. As long as I have known him he has been tiny but with muscles. ( not that a guy wants to be called that) I just wish he would agree to no sodas in the house and no chips. I dont eat them but still the support would be nice to eat healthy all together. He gains weight really easily but loses it even easier! So not fair lol I'm here for support though if you or anyone else would like to add me! (:
  • blackroseorchid
    blackroseorchid Posts: 26 Member
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    we've been together eight years...so it's like we're married, and I call his mom my mother in law and variate between calling him my husband and my boyfriend depending on if I am mad at him or not...
  • blackroseorchid
    blackroseorchid Posts: 26 Member
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    Before you make assumptions about me or my life based on one post, I suggest you hold your tongue and keep the negativity out of your post...I am not going to "f my boy toy" because he doesn't go to the gym with me...He supports me in every way and uses teasing as a way to keep me motivated...it's not bad or negative in anyway, it's just jokes...
  • blackroseorchid
    blackroseorchid Posts: 26 Member
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    I read your title and dropped a tear my heart sunk. After reading this I was angry with them. You deserve support, you have worked and earned it, something isnt right with them I dont know what it is. Maybe he is afraid if you lose weight he will lose you cause hes so lazy. My husband loves fast food and has slowed down because he felt guilty because depending on which one he goes too I wont eat or drink anything. He dont like the look I give him when he mentions fast food. Maybe if you dont order they will get the message. Or go online for their favorite places and look up the calories and try to find something you can eat that isnt to high or eat half of your meal then eat healthier later. Dont trust fast food salads either. I used to think I ordered something sort of healthy and was shocked when I logged it. You need to take care of yourself. I would be happy to be your friend. Just know its not you, its them.

    Thanks
  • lovechicagobears
    lovechicagobears Posts: 289 Member
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    we've been together eight years...so it's like we're married, and I call his mom my mother in law and variate between calling him my husband and my boyfriend depending on if I am mad at him or not...

    Why would you call someone your husband if you aren't married? Time together is not the same as marriage, and I say that as someone who's been in a relationship for three years. I can't imagine calling my boyfriend my "husband" just because we live together. That's just crazy.
  • lovechicagobears
    lovechicagobears Posts: 289 Member
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    this is about you and when it comes to u, don't rely on anyone but u. F your boytoy. He apparently isn't Mr right because if u ended up married to him you would get pregnant right? Pregnancy always causes weight gain. I had to lose 65 pounds 8 years ago so there u go..... He really doesn't sound to mature-

    What the what? This makes absolutely zero sense. Just because two people get married doesn't mean they're automatically going to have a kid, and not everyone gains weight during pregnancy.
  • debi_f
    debi_f Posts: 330 Member
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    I never got support from anyone. I never had a friend or family member come with me anywhere, I always had to do everything alone. Show up at a scary new gym by myself, show up at a new kickboxing class where I know no one, show up alone at a dragonboat practice. It's nerve-racking, but it builds character! You learn to be less afraid or lonely during those times and begin to feel confident and independent! You become the person who doesn't need anyone to be their crutch.

    You can do this on your own! I, too, had/have to rely on myself to go to the gym, go to my Pilates class, ride my bike when the weather allows. And not only do I have to go to that scary gym on my own, I live in a country where I don't really speak the language! I still manage to get there and struggle my way through the language to do it. And you know what? The people at the gym aren't scary! They are supportive, and we manage to work through the language barrier. In my Pilates class, I watch the others closely if I don't understand what the instructor is saying.

    The thing is, you need to rely on yourself! You have internet access (obviously), so try YouTube for workouts you can do at home. You can do this, no matter what the people around you say/do. Tell yourself you can do it. Repeat it. Because you CAN do it! You are in charge of what you do (and what you eat). Take that power and use it! Do it!

    ETA: You know you can do it, because you've had some great success so far. Just keep it up. Stay strong! ;-)
  • blackroseorchid
    blackroseorchid Posts: 26 Member
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    we've been together eight years...so it's like we're married, and I call his mom my mother in law and variate between calling him my husband and my boyfriend depending on if I am mad at him or not...

    Why would you call someone your husband if you aren't married? Time together is not the same as marriage, and I say that as someone who's been in a relationship for three years. I can't imagine calling my boyfriend my "husband" just because we live together. That's just crazy.

    it's easier than explaining to them why we arn't married....most people in my town think living together in wedlock is a major sin...(i live in a very conservative area)... so instead of explaining my relationship status to them, it's much easier to just say we are married...which, with as long as we've been together, in some areas we are considered a married couple.
  • blackroseorchid
    blackroseorchid Posts: 26 Member
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    why am I explaining this to you all anyway...my relationship status shouldn't really effing matter...
    all I wanted was some friendly advice...not to be criticized about making "excuses" and "blaming it on others"
    You guys don't know me....and are already making assumptions....which you shouldn't do, because it makes you look like an a-hole.
    I really was under the illusion that this was a positive community....but i guess not.
    Thank you to those who were positive, my faith has not been completely destroyed...but I am seriously going to think twice before posting anything else on the forums again.
    Anywho...thanks again to all those who actually responded with advice instead of assumptions and accusations..
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
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    Stop making excuses and make better choices. No one is forcing you to eat badly. You can go for a walk or do an exercise DVD at home. It's up to you. You cannot make someone support you.
  • pholbert
    pholbert Posts: 575 Member
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    You can not change other people. Only person you can change is you.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I mean this in the kindest way, but you are 28 years old. It is time for you to take control of your life and, if you really do want to make positive changes, then make them. The only person standing your way is you.

    Good luck. I know you can do this.
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
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    why am I explaining this to you all anyway...my relationship status shouldn't really effing matter...
    all I wanted was some friendly advice...not to be criticized about making "excuses" and "blaming it on others"
    You guys don't know me....and are already making assumptions....which you shouldn't do, because it makes you look like an a-hole.
    I really was under the illusion that this was a positive community....but i guess not.
    Thank you to those who were positive, my faith has not been completely destroyed...but I am seriously going to think twice before posting anything else on the forums again.
    Anywho...thanks again to all those who actually responded with advice instead of assumptions and accusations..

    OMG right?

    You should totally go make another thread about how everyone here is so mean....
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    28 and fully dependent on others to get around?

    Get your license.
    Get outside.
    Get a bike.
    Get going.
    Get at it.

    Go.
  • dave4d
    dave4d Posts: 1,155 Member
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    As far as fast food goes, you can always get grilled chicken, If you are looking for cheap, a junior sized hamburger is usually one of the cheapest things on the menu, and if you get it with water instead of soda, and fries, will be just fine for losing weight.

    I always preferred going to the gym alone. Other people usually just get in the way, and distract me from my workout. I have tried taking family members with me, but they always want to leave before I'm halfway done with my workout. It's much better not to have to worry about that.
  • sannsk
    sannsk Posts: 203 Member
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    We are a nice community, but our aim is to advise and help you, not to feel sorry for you. It involves some tough love, sometimes... Learn from it. If you want to be healthier, you don't need sympathy, you need determination and willpower...
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
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    Wow, so the title of the thread of "no support from boyfriend," the first post talks about how there's no support from the boyfriend, then a later post goes on about how wonderfully supportive her boyfriend is. There are some serious issues here, but I don't think the boyfriend is the problem...
  • SeaJenni
    SeaJenni Posts: 211 Member
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    Before you make assumptions about me or my life based on one post, I suggest you hold your tongue and keep the negativity out of your post...I am not going to "f my boy toy" because he doesn't go to the gym with me...He supports me in every way and uses teasing as a way to keep me motivated...it's not bad or negative in anyway, it's just jokes...

    Teasing is mean. It's not an acceptable way to motivate someone. It's degrading.

    You were right when you said you aren't getting any support. It sucks. It would be nice if we could all get the support we need, but that isn't the case for a lot of us. A lot of people on this site have been successful without any support in real life, or maybe only from the support they get on MFP. I don't think that you're making excuses, but I think you lack conviction about your abilities. You can do this if you decide to be strong and be resourceful. I don't get any support; and this is what I have learned that may help you as well.

    1. Do not wait for the people you care about to support you to begin doing what your heart desires to do. This will hurt your feelings, but if you wait for them, you may be waiting for your entire life. Then you'll feel disappointed and possibly resentful. Better to just get your feelings hurt now and get it over with.

    2. Keep your mouth shut about your successes because if they don't support you, it may cause tension in the house. Only share your successes with people who build you up, not tear you down.

    3. Start surrounding yourself with positive people.

    4. Do what you need to do to improve yourself even if you have to be sneaky as hell.
  • gjulie
    gjulie Posts: 391
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    Sorry here this is though but start taking control of your own life stop blaming other people you are your own best friend!you need to build belief in yourself first!
  • taekwonkenpo
    taekwonkenpo Posts: 1,004
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    you just made excuse after excuse after excuse. Quit worrying about them and worry about yourself. If your boyfriend and his family are so unsupportive then dump them! I don't get support from my boyfriend or family either. But I accept it and don't care because I am doing this for me and it has nothing to do with them


    This.....................your health is your helth. Keep at it regardless of what others say or do. Your food intake is yours, you choose what goes in your mouth. You will only be as succesful as you put in the effort to be.

    Also, i don't know why you can not drive but i assume thier is a valid reason. If the gym is close enough, and i am very much not joking, you should go by bike.

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