How would you respond?

HappyNinjaStar

I've lost about 50 lbs in the last year and I'm close-ish to goal weight, about 10-15 lbs away plus some toning needed. I definitely look better than I used to, and I am wearing more form fitting clothing, which of course makes weight loss stand out.

So here's the situation: I love my mom to death, but every time I see her (3-4 days a week to drop off the kid so I can go to work), she makes a comment about my weight loss. It usually goes something like this: "It looks like you've lost even MORE weight. You're getting too skinny, you really need to stop." By NO means am I anorexic, this gal loves to eat. Heck by getting to my 'goal' I will just barely be in the healthy weight range for my height (5'1"). I'm currently a size 8 and wear Mediums, I've got fat rolls when I sit, and I could kill a small child with my thighs...But I do eat healthy, and run, and do weight training.

My general response is "I'm working on my body, I've got a little ways to go still." This usually gets an unhappy grunt from my mother but stops the conversation.

Any thoughts on how to better handle this? It's really annoying me and I'm too old to be fighting with my mom...

perfectingpatti

I don't know that you need to tell her you're still wanting to lose more weight. Perhaps just tell her that you're trying to tone up now and not really keep losing. Ease her mind. We moms worry about stuff like that out of love.

5stringjeff

Depends on how your mother is, but you might consider showing her how you've gotten to where you are, i.e. MFP, calorie deficits, weight charts, etc. so she knows that there's a method to your madness. She might not agree with your goals, but you can tell her that they're your goals, you've got a good reason to attain them and you'll be perfectly healthy. Then leave it.

n0ob

So glad I'd still be a big guy at 5-7% body fat so I don't have to deal with this...

Not saying to be egotistical, but I'd have a lot of trouble not telling my family off on things like that...

reneepugh

You just don't and ignore it. My mom does the same thing. Every time I lost weight after having a baby, my mom said I was too thin even though I was probably 5-10 lbs more than the average for my height. Why do they do this??? Good question. I think its because Mom's generally just think a little meat on your bones makes you healthy, especially our parents age. I just let her rant and move on. When I look at my own kids, I understand a little more why my mom is the way she is. I don't care if my kids are 50, you still worry about them. Just keep doing what you are doing as long as it's healthy. Your Mom will adjust.

MrsBrosco

I would explain to her that you aren't trying to lose anymore but just trying to tone up now. Show her your MFP page and where you are and what your BMI is, maybe it will help her understand more.

Good luck!

Chief_Rocka

"I have stopped losing, it's all in your head. Who ya gonna believe Mom, me or your lying *kitten* eyes?"

n2thenight24

I agree with really sitting down with her and showing her BMI charts. Your 'healthy weight' range. Where you are now, and tell her what you're doing to achieve your goals. As a mom, I can agree with the previous poster, a lot of how I judge how healthy and happy one of my children are is just simply by looking at them. And if I saw one of my children melting away, even if they were overweight, I wouldn't be able to help but worry.

HappyNinjaStar

"I have stopped losing, it's all in your head. Who ya gonna believe Mom, me or your lying *kitten* eyes?"

:laugh: :laugh:

RipperSB

I've experianced this quite a bit as well and one response that I use is "You are only saying that because you've seen me before the weight loss. Had you just met me today, you would not be saying that." I have been maintaining for almost two months now and I still get the "you need to stop losing" comments from family members. Hope that helps but, regardless, do not let your Mom's attitude stand in your way. As you reach your goal weight you may want to revise it from just barely into the healthy range to somewhere in the middle. Best of luck to you.

HappyNinjaStar

I agree with really sitting down with her and showing her BMI charts. Your 'healthy weight' range. Where you are now, and tell her what you're doing to achieve your goals. As a mom, I can agree with the previous poster, a lot of how I judge how healthy and happy one of my children are is just simply by looking at them. And if I saw one of my children melting away, even if they were overweight, I wouldn't be able to help but worry.

This is a good idea. And I agree that she's doing it out of love (I'm a mommy too, and I have been patient up until now, it's just finally gotten a bit ridiculous!)

Pedal_Pusher

She just cares about you. Let that shlt roll off your back. Bigger fish to fry and all that.................

dont_u_mean_carrots

Maybe she needs to lose a little weight herself and is jealous at your wonderful progress. She doesn't want to show her jealousy so she turns it as something that you're doing wrong (losing TOO much weight). I wouldn't even respond to the comments or say something like thanks for your concern I'm still a work in progress. Just keep doing your thing and don't let anyone else get you discouraged.

hypotrochoid

Or you could tell her that her constant comments about your weight are hurtful, and that while you know it comes from a place of love, you'd appreciate it if she'd stop.

frando

The people that say that you've lost 'too much' (or in my case don't want me to) fall into one of two categories- 1) have always known you as large so now that you're slimming down it can be a bit of a shock 2) Maybe in denial about their own weight/health issues and seeing you taking yours so well might be too much for them to handle.

Kinda know the feeling, I get told alot not to loose 'too much', I retort by saying 'I will loose as much as I feel I need, no more and no less- after all it's my body'.

KaraP18

I would say pssshhht whatever mom I look good! And leave it at that. Maybe throw a little neck roll in with it for good measure.

mishmash73

"Thanks Mom. Keep the compliments flowing [insert sarcasm here}"

NormalSaneFLGuy

Just slap her upside the head. I'm sure she'll move on to different topics of conversation.

Martucha123

"I have stopped losing, it's all in your head. Who ya gonna believe Mom, me or your lying *kitten* eyes?"

:laugh: :laugh:

I actually say, well mom I am 1 lbs heavier then the last time we met...

thingal12

I go through a similar situation with my mom. The difference is I have no kids and I live with my mom. Keep in mind, I was always thin and never had weight issues until the past 10 years (College, then off-and-on afterwards). The reason my mom even cares to say a word is because when I'm on a diet, I don't like to buy junk food and this upsets my mom. I also try to buy less, another worry for her. She somehow equates my eating less junk food with her not eating what she wants. To the contrary, I buy her whatever she wants anyway. I've never been too big (my highest ever was in mid-'07 at 171) and I'm 5'4.75". I haven't figured out how to deal with her- she's in her mid-late 60's and she herself is 173 pounds @ 5'. I don't want to tell her NO JUNK (when I say junk food I mean dark chocolate, almonds, walnuts, cookies, artisan bread ~ yes, they are great in moderation, esp the nuts, but these are my diet busters! and we never eat a small handful either). One thing you can do, and I've done this just once when I was in a bad mood and fed up with her, I showed her some of my fat and said, "HERE, YOU THINK I'M SKINNY DO YOU ?!" LOL we both broke out laughing..

leilaphoenix

Something like "My BMI is X, I'd have to lose another Y pounds for me to be underweight. I will let you know if I ever get close to that. Till then stop bugging me"

Of course I realise that BMI is not the be-all-and-end-all but if it sounds doctor-y maybe she will leave it.