Something my boyfriend does that bothers me. Mini rant.

KarenJean91

He knows i count every single one of my calories, and that i'm on this website trying to lose weight. What bothers me is that we'll be out at the mall or something and he'll see the food court and go "Ooo i think i'm going to get some pizza" and i'll be like "well aren't you lucky" in a joking way of course and he'll joke back saying "you can't have it!" I know he's being playful since i am, and if he knew it bothered me he would stop. Which I'm going to tell him next time he does it. But he too is trying to get more active and eat less, yet he still eats a crap load and eats things he thinks are healthy for him in huge amounts. For example,the other day he made a peanut butter sandwich with at LEAST 5 tablespoons of peanut butter on it. I was thinking to myself.. that sandwich has got to be 600-700 calories and i'm sure he doesn't really care.

Anyone else in a similar situation? Sorry if this was annoying... just needed to rant a little bit.

katlac1

It was hard for me with my boyfriend, too. He eats what he wants (although he shouldn't). In the end I just didn't bring it up as often as possible. Of course sometimes in the course of being together a situation would arise that I had to mention my loss or whatnot, but unless necessary I don't make any comments about food with him.

monty619

well if you say in a sarcastic tone "well arent you lucky" dont expect kind response to begin with lets be real..

kschr201

well if you say in a sarcastic tone "well arent you lucky" dont expect kind response to begin with lets be real..

agreed. you're on a diet does not equal he's on a diet. Who cares what he does. My SO eats what he wants and has a very fast metabolism. Is it unfair? yes. But that's the way it goes. He's also about a foot taller than me - we have different caloric needs based on body size alone.

Just trying to say there is no reason to let it get to you

palmerig88

Why can't you eat the pizza?

MyPaperBleedsInk

Mine tends to bring me large chocolate bars randomly, even though he knows i'm kind of watching what I eat.
And I tend to eat them because I feel guilty, they're there, and chocolate is generally amazing.

Blastastic

Why can't you eat the pizza?

^^^ this exactly!

Qarol

Does it bother you that he's eating pizza? Or does it bother you that he matches your sarcasm with sarcasm?

Better question is WHY does this bother you? I'd try to figure that out before just telling him it bothers you.

Helloitsdan

He knows i count every single one of my calories, and that i'm on this website trying to lose weight. What bothers me is that we'll be out at the mall or something and he'll see the food court and go "Ooo i think i'm going to get some pizza" and i'll be like "well aren't you lucky" in a joking way of course and he'll joke back saying "you can't have it!" I know he's being playful since i am, and if he knew it bothered me he would stop. Which I'm going to tell him next time he does it. But he too is trying to get more active and eat less, yet he still eats a crap load and eats things he thinks are healthy for him in huge amounts. For example,the other day he made a peanut butter sandwich with at LEAST 5 tablespoons of peanut butter on it. I was thinking to myself.. that sandwich has got to be 600-700 calories and i'm sure he doesn't really care.

Anyone else in a similar situation? Sorry if this was annoying... just needed to rant a little bit.

Quick question...are you sure you cant fit his additions into your day?
I often run into women asking for advice on intake and have come to the conclusion that most women underestimate their TDEE.
Its the reason I wrote In Place of a Road Map.
My wife loves cheeseburgers and pizza and she knows that at 5'3" 160lbs that she burns about 2500 cals a day.
So my question for you is:

How much do you burn every week and how much do you consume?

After you know that then maybe that pizza or extra helping of PB isnt so bad.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

lovechicagobears

I said I was going to get healthy for an entire year before I finally started losing weight. Just be patient. If he really wants to, he will, and if not, you can't force him or tease him into it. He has to do it for himself. Don't point out calorie counts on food he eats or make sarcastic comments. My boyfriend was SO patient with me, even though I'm sure he was rolling his eyes whenever I said, for the millionth time, "I hate being fat! I'm going to lose 200 pounds by 2014!"

If the pizza fits into your calories, eat it. Food isn't "bad" or "forbidden". Split it with him or make room in your calories the next day to account for it. Do an extra ten minutes on the elliptical. Pizza and other delicious mall food aren't the end of the world.

rml_16

That must have either been a couple huge slices of bread or a very thick sandwich!

Anyway, worry about yourself. And he's right. You CAN have some pizza.

lovechicagobears

Dan's right. I have my diary set to 1800 per day since that works the best for me, but now that I've increased my exercise, I don't sweat an extra 200-300 calories if I really want some peanut butter or chocolate. I can, technically, eat up to 2100 calories per day.

KrazyAsianNic

It's always hard when you're in this situation. My boyfriend respects that I'm trying to lose weight and I record, etc. He also say he wants to lose weight. I just think they are not ready yet, or else they would

BaconMD

Now I want a 600-calorie peanut butter sandwich. And a pizza.

taso42

Some of my MFP friends get to eat ice cream every single night. The nerve I tell ya.

matchbox_girl

Why can't you eat the pizza?

This ^^^

I do not restrict myself from certain foods. I PLAN. If I know we're going out and might eat, I save my calories. It's not rocket science, and it's also not your boyfriend's problem....you being on a 'diet' doesn't mean he is, too.

ironanimal

well if you say in a sarcastic tone "well arent you lucky" dont expect kind response to begin with lets be real..

This right here.

You're doing it wrong if you can never have anything 'bad'.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

I'm guessing he's bigger than you. This means he has a higher TDEE and can eat more calories without gaining. If he's not gaining, that means he's NOT eating more than his TDEE and is therefor "fine".

I didn't look at your diary, but chances are if you are feeling this deprived, that you could eat more than you are now and still accomplish your goals.

Cherbear67

My husband can eat all he wants and doesn't gain a pound.. Makes me sick.. Due to our job we do have to eat out a couple times a week so we try to work out around my food.. It doesn't make it easier as he sits there eating a double burger and I am having a pita or something.. But he has tried to be supportive the best way he knows how..

MichaelFunaro

Have you tried PB2, it's a powdered peanut butter. It has 45 cals for 2 tablespoons. Basically they removed the oil from it. You mix water (i used coconut milk) to make it back to peanut butter, then some jelly and you have a PB & J sandwich for a fraction of the normal PB & J and tastes amazing. Try it.

JanaCanada

I've been successfully married a loooong time, and I've utilized something that works wonders. It's called "The 3 C's": communicaiton, cooperation, and compromise.

In a calm, kind, caring way, talk to him about your issue. Use "I feel..." statements instead of "You make me feel..." accusations. Ask for his cooperation in solving the issue, and compromise together on a solution that benefits both of you. You may have to give a little to get a little, but so will he. It may go something like this:

"Dear, I'd like to discuss our diet journeys. I am working hard to lose weight, and I feel tempted when you eat pizza in front of me. I understand that your diet differs from m ine, and yours may allow you to have those calories, so I don't want to deprive you of what fits into your daily calories. But will you please cooperate with me on a solution so I am not tempted? I feel what might work is if you endulge in whatever you like, just not in my presence. Would that work for you? If not, then I am open to your ideas about how we can work through this together."

andeey

Be responsible for yourself and focused on what you want to do. Just because you're a couple doesn't mean you melded into the one being. If he wants pizza, let him. If you want pizza, eat it IIFYM. But don't try to dictate what goes in his mouth or throw sarcastic comments around unless you want both of those in reverse.

ShreddedTweet

Poor guy, it can't be easy having everything you do or say analysed for tone and meaning. He wants to eat pizza let him eat pizza and stop being so womany. It gives the rest of us a bad name!

jennyrebekka

My gf on occasion likes to try and stick her finger in my butt. Being a hetero male, I'm very not cool with this. However, I try to look at the bright side and am just glad she doesn't try to use her thumb.

you, my friend, are awesome

ShreddedTweet

I've been successfully married a loooong time, and I've utilized something that works wonders. It's called "The 3 C's": communicaiton, cooperation, and compromise.

In a calm, kind, caring way, talk to him about your issue. Use "I feel..." statements instead of "You make me feel..." accusations. Ask for his cooperation in solving the issue, and compromise together on a solution that benefits both of you. You may have to give a little to get a little, but so will he. It may go something like this:

"Dear, I'd like to discuss our diet journeys. I am working hard to lose weight, and I feel tempted when you eat pizza in front of me. I understand that your diet differs from m ine, and yours may allow you to have those calories, so I don't want to deprive you of what fits into your daily calories. But will you please cooperate with me on a solution so I am not tempted? I feel what might work is if you endulge in whatever you like, just not in my presence. Would that work for you? If not, then I am open to your ideas about how we can work through this together."

Don't do this. And never describe this as your 'diet journey.'

iamkarent

yes, sorry, but I have to agree that if I said a snarky comment like that to someone I would be surprised if I didnt get sarcastic back...

And as for the eating....I think the true step to a good future comes when you realize you are not on a diet....you are making lifestyle choices,,,and you just have to wait for your body to slowly catch up...it will happen with time...

But in the meanwhile...have what you want...but have it with thought and in limited amount if not the best option..and planned in to a healthy day..

Last night I sat here and had a great night with my kids...watched a christmas movie...made peanut butter cookies...and COMPLETELY enjoyed 3 warm cookies....and no guilt whatsoever....even had the hershey kisses on top

This isn't a diet...

And my boyfriend can eat whatever his heart desires...I want him to be healthy so that he is around a long time...but I have to make these choices for me...and I have to be able to do it with food around me...and people not making the same choices..

It is actually empowering to make the good choices when you had other options..use it to motivate yourself...but he has to do it for himself.

LMT2012

Boys can eat and drink more. We have to face facts : /

jfrankic

How much do you burn every week and how much do you consume?

After you know that then maybe that pizza or extra helping of PB isnt so bad.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

^^ Listen to the man. He knows! Figure out your TDEE and then your calorie goal....if you haven't done it this way already. I eat 1/2 large pizza once a week, every week. It's my favorite food. I love every bit of it. It fits into my day, I plan it. And it hasn't hindered my progress. If anything, it has helped me because I'm not depriving myself of my favorite food. Nothing is off limits.

Rizabees

You're the one who started with the joking about you not being able to eat any. : | I'm confused. If he wants to eat pizza, let him. Don't get all passive aggressive with your "jokes" and get all upset when he plays along, thinking it's all innocent fun.

4kuykesh

In the grand scheme of things, this is probably not that serious of an issue. Relationships are tough, life is tough - choose your battles...

daffodilsoup

This is your lifestyle choice, not his, and if you're responding with sarcastic comments, you don't really get to be offended when he does the same.