Something my boyfriend does that bothers me. Mini rant.
Replies
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Give your boyfriend an opportunity to help you. Ask for his support and to help you stay motivated. So when he does go get the pizza or whatever you aren't as annoyed. Hope that made sense.0
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Communicate, communicate, communicate! Conflict avoidance only makes it worse.0
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My bf likes to serve me my food when he cooks. He'd load up a regular size plate with food and I'd eat more than I should so he wouln't feel bad. Then I'd enter it in MFP and groan. We tried having me fill my own plate, but I knew he liked serving me, so one night when I was using a smaller plate, I told him to try using that sized plate when serving me
He's awesome!0 -
Sheesh! So much negativity!0
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My boyfriend is bbqing today..
and he texted me saying "none for you, Gretchen Weiners"
hilarious...but i love bbq. :P
Just don't let his habits effect yours.
It's hard but..sorry.0 -
My bf likes to serve me my food when he cooks. He'd load up a regular size plate with food and I'd eat more than I should so he wouln't feel bad. Then I'd enter it in MFP and groan. We tried having me fill my own plate, but I knew he liked serving me, so one night when I was using a smaller plate, I told him to try using that sized plate when serving me
He's awesome!
I've started doing this, too! It works! He is the cook and loves to bring me my food. I'm not sure why, I think it has something to do with presenting his hard work. (I don't cook, so I wouldn't know.) I've requested that he uses a smaller plate to serve me on and bam! Portion control, even if I'm not serving myself.0 -
you can too eat pizza!
IF IT FITS YOUR MACRO'S .
1)LEARN ABOUT IT.
2)EAT ALL THE FOOD! (that your macro's allow)
p.s i promise it works!0 -
I've been successfully married a loooong time, and I've utilized something that works wonders. It's called "The 3 C's": communicaiton, cooperation, and compromise.
In a calm, kind, caring way, talk to him about your issue. Use "I feel..." statements instead of "You make me feel..." accusations. Ask for his cooperation in solving the issue, and compromise together on a solution that benefits both of you. You may have to give a little to get a little, but so will he. It may go something like this:
"Dear, I'd like to discuss our diet journeys. I am working hard to lose weight, and I feel tempted when you eat pizza in front of me. I understand that your diet differs from m ine, and yours may allow you to have those calories, so I don't want to deprive you of what fits into your daily calories. But will you please cooperate with me on a solution so I am not tempted? I feel what might work is if you endulge in whatever you like, just not in my presence. Would that work for you? If not, then I am open to your ideas about how we can work through this together."
Don't do this. And never describe this as your 'diet journey.'Poor guy, it can't be easy having everything you do or say analysed for tone and meaning. He wants to eat pizza let him eat pizza and stop being so womany. It gives the rest of us a bad name!
Well, aren't you a special kind of beyotch.0 -
I shouldn't have posted this, mainly because none of you know how my bf is.We joke around. He knew i was joking but knows i'm sensitive about this because i'm serious about it. I just know i wouldn't tease him like that if he were in my position. Most of the time I don't say a WORD when he says stuff like that. Even when I don't he makes rude remarks. And for you guys saying i shouldn't care what he eats, i don't. He acts like he is trying to lose weight and eat better but he doesn't. Have i said anything to him about it? No. I DO eat what i want, in moderation. I just didn't know the calories of a food court slice of Sbarro pizza, so i did not get it.0
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Poor guy, it can't be easy having everything you do or say analysed for tone and meaning. He wants to eat pizza let him eat pizza and stop being so womany. It gives the rest of us a bad name!
um... what?0 -
Sheesh! So much negativity!
Yup. Wasn't expecting all this criticism for something so stupid.0 -
well at least hes being more active right?0
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well at least hes being more active right?
No. He goes for runs for 10 minutes and walks half of it because he says he can't breathe. I don't like bashing on him because everything being said has made me feel horrible, and i love him, so I'm done.0 -
You can have a slice or two of pizza. If you deprive yourself, that leads to bingeing and no one wants that.......There is no "good" or "bad" foods out there. You can have anything you want, but just in moderation.0
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i eat everything my partner eats i just have smaller portions im not giving up pizza!
I do not have that problem with my partner, i do take my calories and exercise seriously, i just make better choices or eat smaller portions of yummy food0 -
lol at your post! I can see that is must be frustrating. I don't have a significant other, but I work with lots of men and some of them just eat and eat and eat. A close male friend of mine will do that to me he'll say, "No milkshake for you!" I love the guy, so I let him slide, because he really has kept me on track several times.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I see what you are saying and it's hard to be in such a struggle and watch those around you throw caution to the wind. Just know you are doing the right thing and I'm sure when you ask your boyfriend to be a little more sensitive with his suggestions for your diet, he'll improve
PS - His peanut butter sandwich sounds FABULOUS!0 -
I get where you're coming from. It's frustrating when we are trying hard to make a positive change and our significant other isn't completely supportive. From experience, it's because they know they should be making a change as well, but are just not ready or willing to put the effort into it. Everyone has to arrive at that decision on their own. When we do so well, sometimes it makes others feel a little envious of our efforts and successes.I shouldn't have posted this, mainly because none of you know how my bf is.We joke around. He knew i was joking but knows i'm sensitive about this because i'm serious about it. I just know i wouldn't tease him like that if he were in my position. Most of the time I don't say a WORD when he says stuff like that. Even when I don't he makes rude remarks. And for you guys saying i shouldn't care what he eats, i don't. He acts like he is trying to lose weight and eat better but he doesn't. Have i said anything to him about it? No. I DO eat what i want, in moderation. I just didn't know the calories of a food court slice of Sbarro pizza, so i did not get it.
Whether it's eating more healthy, losing weight, exercising or quitting smoking, the people in your life who know they should eat right, lose weight, exercise or quit smoking might feel that they don't have the willpower to do what you are doing and secretly wish you to fail (I'm not saying it's true of everyone, but it definitely is true of some). It's easier for them if they don't have to hear you count calories, remind them that maybe they should exercise or eat better or that they also should not smoke. If you fail, you are back in the same boat as they are .
A prime example is a friend of mine who's husband quit smoking and then began to bug her to quit. Instead of being happy for him that he was improving his health, she wished he would start smoking again so he would stop bugging her. Crazy as it sounds, it happens and people feel that way.
I definitely don't think your boyfriend is doing that, but I do understand why it bothers you. My husband eats things in front of me which I would rather not use my calories on and it really doesn't bother me, but he does things like getting me a bacon, fried egg and cheese sandwich on a roll when he knows I don't want to eat it. I tell him no thanks, that I will make my own healthier egg sandwich where I can count the calories more precisely. But instead of just letting it go, he tells me it's in the fridge if I want it. That bothers me because I feel like he is almost trying to sabotage my efforts, hoping I will cave in and eat it.
Sorry to go on for so long, I just wanted you to know that I understand what you are saying and all you are looking for is a little support from your bf.
Btw, the database for foods here is amazing. I bet if you put Sbarros pizza in the search, you will find the calorie count for it. 0 -
I've been really surprised and disappointed by the amount of criticism and judgement that goes on in the community forums when people ask for advice. When someone asks what to do about a situation or for camaraderie they aren't asking how they are supposed to feel....
Anyways, my boyfriend eats whatever and however much of whatever he wants and thinks his diet is healthy. He use to offer me his leftovers and would try to convince me that some healthy things i eat would be better replaced with junk food as its "healthier" . Is it annoying, yes, in the scheme of things does it matter, of course not! Ultimately you have to be open with him and not worry about the choices he makes as men will be men, but you already know that. Best of luck to you!0 -
I've been successfully married a loooong time, and I've utilized something that works wonders. It's called "The 3 C's": communicaiton, cooperation, and compromise.
In a calm, kind, caring way, talk to him about your issue. Use "I feel..." statements instead of "You make me feel..." accusations. Ask for his cooperation in solving the issue, and compromise together on a solution that benefits both of you. You may have to give a little to get a little, but so will he. It may go something like this:
"Dear, I'd like to discuss our diet journeys. I am working hard to lose weight, and I feel tempted when you eat pizza in front of me. I understand that your diet differs from m ine, and yours may allow you to have those calories, so I don't want to deprive you of what fits into your daily calories. But will you please cooperate with me on a solution so I am not tempted? I feel what might work is if you endulge in whatever you like, just not in my presence. Would that work for you? If not, then I am open to your ideas about how we can work through this together."
Very well said! I don't think everyone was getting the point that you didn't WANT to eat it.0 -
I had the problem when I first started that my bf would try to get me to eat things like bacon and pizza and some days it just didn't fit into my day. Now that he has seen me get more serious about it he does a lot better though, don't get me wrong he still offers me the bacon and the pizza but instead of loading up 5 or 6 pieces of bacon and eggs on a platter for me he will make me a veggie pita with half a piece of bacon crumbled in it for taste. We had pizza tonight, I ate one piece instead of the normal 3 pieces I would eat and he made me some sweet potato fries to go with it. Its hard living with someone who doesn't have to watch what they eat, but to some extent I plan that into my day. I know generally the meals I eat with him are going to be a littler higher then what I eat by myself so I will make my lunch a little lower to make up for dinner.
It took him awhile to adjust and he still teases me when he gets donuts at work and will text me about it. but its just teasing and in a way me knowing that I have the willpower to turn that type of stuff down when I never would before, reinforces me desire to make this work this time and that just makes me happy.0 -
If my husband is eating something I'm trying to avoid but really want I ask for a bite. Everyone knows the first and last bite are the best and that one bite serves as both! Deeeeelicious!0
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Some of my MFP friends get to eat ice cream every single night. The nerve I tell ya.
Then that biotch posts up pictures of a flat stomach and such. Clearly they are not her pictures, no one eats ice cream and stays amazingly fit and trim. No one.0 -
well at least hes being more active right?
No. He goes for runs for 10 minutes and walks half of it because he says he can't breathe. I don't like bashing on him because everything being said has made me feel horrible, and i love him, so I'm done.
So? Not everyone can run 10 minutes right off the bat. At least he's trying. Maybe you should support him if you expect him to support you.
And when you open up your thoughts on a public forum, you have to prepare to get lots of opinions and feedback. Them's the breaks...0 -
Some of my MFP friends get to eat ice cream every single night. The nerve I tell ya.
Then that biotch posts up pictures of a flat stomach and such. Clearly they are not her pictures, no one eats ice cream and stays amazingly fit and trim. No one.
Ohai!!!0 -
I thought my "Eat Ice Cream Everyday" tutorial was being discussed and I was like /: hahaSome of my MFP friends get to eat ice cream every single night. The nerve I tell ya.
Then that biotch posts up pictures of a flat stomach and such. Clearly they are not her pictures, no one eats ice cream and stays amazingly fit and trim. No one.
Ohai!!!
Then I see that crazy biotch..0 -
Wow you do look great though.. hahaSome of my MFP friends get to eat ice cream every single night. The nerve I tell ya.
Then that biotch posts up pictures of a flat stomach and such. Clearly they are not her pictures, no one eats ice cream and stays amazingly fit and trim. No one.
Ohai!!!0 -
I've been successfully married a loooong time, and I've utilized something that works wonders. It's called "The 3 C's": communicaiton, cooperation, and compromise.
In a calm, kind, caring way, talk to him about your issue. Use "I feel..." statements instead of "You make me feel..." accusations. Ask for his cooperation in solving the issue, and compromise together on a solution that benefits both of you. You may have to give a little to get a little, but so will he. It may go something like this:
"Dear, I'd like to discuss our diet journeys. I am working hard to lose weight, and I feel tempted when you eat pizza in front of me. I understand that your diet differs from m ine, and yours may allow you to have those calories, so I don't want to deprive you of what fits into your daily calories. But will you please cooperate with me on a solution so I am not tempted? I feel what might work is if you endulge in whatever you like, just not in my presence. Would that work for you? If not, then I am open to your ideas about how we can work through this together."
Very well said! I don't think everyone was getting the point that you didn't WANT to eat it.
This is what i finally had to do and for the most part he is very considerate now to take into account how what he eats in front of me will affect me. It has made a huge difference.....dont be sarcastic just tell him how it makes you feel.0 -
Are you SURE he knows that this is something you are sensitive about? If you are doing your normal sassing with him, he may think, "Okay, she's kind of sensitive about this, but she's joking about it, so it must be okay."0
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You're the one who started with the joking about you not being able to eat any. : | I'm confused. If he wants to eat pizza, let him. Don't get all passive aggressive with your "jokes" and get all upset when he plays along, thinking it's all innocent fun.
this ^
it really sounds like you are being passive aggressive and then mad he hasnt picked up on it yet0 -
well at least hes being more active right?
No. He goes for runs for 10 minutes and walks half of it because he says he can't breathe. I don't like bashing on him because everything being said has made me feel horrible, and i love him, so I'm done.
So? Not everyone can run 10 minutes right off the bat. At least he's trying. Maybe you should support him if you expect him to support you.
And when you open up your thoughts on a public forum, you have to prepare to get lots of opinions and feedback. Them's the breaks...
Why do you think i was saying that negatively? I was only stating that he tried and he couldn't. I even told him to not run that day since the same thing happened the other day.0
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