bullies...

MireyGal76

I've been reading through a few threads today, and over the past few months.

A common thread is about certain people who are responding in a harsh, mean, or bullying manner... And when I read their responses (and yes some of my own) I see strength and power, but not *usually* bully.

I've been thinking.. *dangerous I know*... But try to stay with me.

This whole "getting a fit / hard body" thing is tough work. If you want to get to a certain level of fitness, you have to push and push hard. You have to keep going when others want to quit.

In my quest, I've had to fight with my mind a lot. When running, my mind tells me to quit, to stop, its hard, it hurts. Sometimes I succeed by telling myself "you can DO this".... Sometimes I have to give myself a verbal kick in the head "shut your whining, you're doing it anyway".

When I challenge myself HARD... I have to often talk hard to myself. To push thru the pain. It builds character and determination.

I have laid on the floor crying "I can't do this" and then rallied and said "f that YES I CAN" and DID.

Sometimes those who have been there, see others laying on the floor, and recognize the fight, but we've fought so many we're used to pushin through. And sometimes we use words to push others just as hard.

I challenge you... When you feel someone is "bullying" you... Instead of staying on the floor crying, see it as a challenge and rise to it.

Also... Check the street cred of the person challenging you. I'd bet they've come a long way and done some amazing things.


We ALL want to be better. And we're not all mean...
Unless we haven't eaten enough, that is! Haha

Good luck!

Eta... To those of you who HAVE been there (myself included), maybe sometimes we need to remember that we wouldn't tell a child learning to walk to '"quit your whining and just do it damnit"!

EatClean_WashUrNuts

VERY well put!!!

We must remember that the greatest challenge in getting healthy is the one in our mind!!

Crankstr

disagreeing =/= bullying


..some people have a hard time seeing that

pastryari

disagreeing =/= bullying


..some people have a hard tome seeing that

A wise first post, wise indeed!

wjkfloyd

Encouragement is the best tact.

Being frank leads some to be ashamed they can't measure up to thers and quit.

MoreBean13

Word.

I welcome anyone that wants to bully me in to running faster and lifting more weight.

_Bob_

you're the right kind of bully. you're a pusher :drinker:

gailmelanie

So tell me... what is the pay-off for the pain? I don't like pain and so far I have not found the benefit to the suffering. I just am in pain. I have strength and stamina but pain means injury for me. Why should I keep doing what hurts?

DontStopB_Leakin

I agree with this wholeheartedly.


People whine and complain because no one reaches out to hold their hand and coddle them.


I didn't get where I am through coddling. I got here because I told myself I was done being a "lazy, whiny *****". I told myself that it was my ****ing fault I gained so much damn weight, so I was going to have to deal with the sweat, tears, and even the bit of bloodshed that it took to lose it.

Some people told me I couldn't do it, that I should just learn to be "fat and happy." The joy that accompanied seeing their looks of shock and awe when they saw that I could, and DID, in fact lose ALL of the weight gained, and then some....well that made all the tears worth it.

liesevanlingen

Personally, I find that being kind and supportive "You can do this! Go for it!" far more motivating than "Quit your whining and just do it!" But maybe that's just me.

MoreBean13

So tell me... what is the pay-off for the pain? I don't like pain and so far I have not found the benefit to the suffering. I just am in pain. I have strength and stamina but pain means injury for me. Why should I keep doing what hurts?

You should probably talk to a doctor or physical therapist about how to set up an appropriate plan to manage your pain.

Rum_Runner

I've seen both - I've seen words that may sound harsh to the OP, but are words meant to encourage and challenge. There are times I read a story about someone who just wants to give up. I'm sorry - you came here for a reason I'm not going to coddle you. I can not hold your hand and make your work out. But you better believe I'll be your biggest cheerleader and there to push and motivate you in any way possible. Don't take my words as "bullying" my words may not be exactly what you want to hear...but such is life.

However on the flip side I have seen some responses that do cross the line and are uncalled for. Those are far and few between and people need \to understand this is the internet and don't take anything personally. Get up and move on!!

BurtHuttz

I think some people want or are looking for a support group for quitters and are upset when they don't find one.

chocl8girl

VorJoshigan

I think a lot of people just need to suck it up. Nobody has a right to not be offended.

yoovie

I promise to only give a kick in the pants to people over 18 who are spewing excuses and BS who I can tell have it in them to get off the damn floor.

I apologise in advance if I tell someone to stop being a child, and I don't realize that you can't. I don't mean to accidentally give anyone more credit than they deserve.

yoovie

Encouragement is the best tact.

Being frank leads some to be ashamed they can't measure up to thers and quit.

Being frank also saves people. We can't possibly know ahead of time which category everyone complaining falls into. Thankfully there are several kinds of motivators. Hand holding coddlers, matter of fact info distributors, ball busters, change your whole lifers, mommies, trainers ... tons.

Pick the one that works for you and run with it.

OR pick out all the ones that don't motivate you, ignore the one that does, and scream at them on the internet for two hours so you don't have to exercise.

PetulantOne

Most of the "bullying" I see on here, is someone giving an answer that no one wants to hear. I've learned so much by listening to the "bullies".

chubbygirl253

I agree with the OP, which is why shes one of the faves on my fl. You can be supportive and still bring it and expect others to bring it as well. Personally, I think there is far more whining on here than bullying. Some people on the internet are trolls or just your average douchecanoe but it is the internet. To the whiners, if you think you can't then you won't. Secondly, you can have your goals accomplished or you can have your excuses. No one can do this for you. How bad do you want it?

sandradev1

Most of the "bullying" I see on here, is someone giving an answer that no one wants to hear. I've learned so much by listening to the "bullies".

This^^^^

seonf

I've been there, not literally on the floor but I almost gave up heaps of times. But when I did a voice inside me told me to just give it a go or try something else and I ended up loosing 55 kg. Anyone can do it.

As for bullies, I found the best revenge is sucsess...