Please help, I'm so sad, haven't lost weight in forever...
Replies
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I don't mean to sound insensitive but the fact of the matter is, you are the ruler of your life. You want a change, then you have to make it happen.
Weightloss is 90% caloric intake management. Working out doesn't cause weightloss directly. It makes your body more efficient so that you can use calories better. However, it's not a requirement of losing weight, so if you were eating appropriately and consistently, you should still be able to lose weight even if you are not working out on a regular basis (though I recommend doing something)
Easy solution to working out? Calisthenics. No equipment required, don't have to go outside to do it, none of that. You can use household objects for resistance training.
I guess I don't understand why the fact that you're the only one that will eat the good foods is a reason why you can't have them. A Monster energy drink 16oz can costs anywhere from $1.50-$3 depending on where you buy it. You can get at least 2 apples for that. Cost of mac & cheese? let's say 88c for the box, add 25c for butter and 50c for milk, that's around $1.50 too, you can get some lean meat for that. You don't have to buy in bulk.
My parents were pretty strict with me growing up, and gave me a curfew when I was living with them in college. If you're not in school, I don't see any reason why you would be living at home still unless you have special needs. I didn't see if you were in the US or not but if you are, the government is not going to give you assistance if you are living with your parents, because they consider the entire household income when deciding on foodstamps and stuff, and I imagine you are being claimed on your parents' taxes as a dependent.
I say, go to your local grocery store, get a job, get paid, and buy good foods for yourself before coming home. If they are that adamant about you running to pick up guys, ask for a treadmill (LOL)
Ultimately though, it sounds like you're looking for a quick fix solution where there isn't one, and sympathy where there isn't really going to be much. Time to buck up and get moving.0 -
OP - you're diary is too revealing.. You really need to try some other choices. How long have you been looking for a job? If you have no kids, no house payments - you can work 1-2 jobs and get some self esteem and have funds to buy good- healthy food. Only you can make the decision to make a change.0
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Nothing new here, but I will reiterate more simply:
Body weight exercises - squats & lunges to start, then google "body weight exercises"
Whole foods - Just do it. meat, veg, and fruit. It's all you need.0 -
Bottom line: You're a grown *kitten* adult.
Your family doesn't have the right to control what you do anymore.
Keep looking for a job, GO OUT when and where you want, and buy your own food when you can.0 -
I really do get in trouble if I go outside for something like that. My family tells me I am just trying to pick up guys when that is not at all the case. I have had ONE boyfriend, wow. I think other girls might understand how this feels if they have crazy, overly religious parents.
omg that's horrendous
Can you maybe try doing something in your bedroom? yoga/ a 10 minute exercise dvd when people aren't around? Walking counts as exercise too, you could hand out CVs and try to make sure you walk for 60 minutes at least or something?
As for food, just try your best. avoid sugary drinks etc and if you have spare money spend it on fruit and veggies xxx0 -
You are looking at the whole forest and getting overwhelmed: start to look for one tree at a time! You are unemployed, you have TIME to move. If the others make fun or chastise you: go into the bathroom and do 10 wall pushups, stretches etc for 3 minutes. Don't let them know you are doing it. Do it several times a day!
As for flavored waters: make your own. Lemon juice in water, cucumber slices in water, etc. Even if you have to eat mac n cheese, cut back on your portions of that some days.
Being out of a job is adding extra burden into your situation, only you can begin today to make the small changes that will lead you where you want to be in the coming months? So what will you do today to start......????0 -
Put in some earbuds, walk past the people who cuss at you and go for a walk/run anyway! You're worth the extra effort it takes to be healthy. Sorry, but screw them!
big <hugs>0 -
I think you need to get out of your current environment, if possible. Who gets cussed out for taking a run? It's hard to focus on getting healthy when you have a ton of emotional stress going on. You don't need a gym to work out though. Self.com has a bunch of exercises you can do or you can pick up some DVDs for really cheap. I personally stay away from diet pills. If they worked so well, there would be no overweight people in this world.0
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Thanks. One problem... my household doesn't have these things because no one but me will eat them. I am actually tired of eating macaroni and cheese daily. And they don't really like to buy any kind of waters. I have very little money to buy things for myself at all. I am 21, yes, but I am unemployed because the company I was working for has shut down... ugh.
To all others, thank you for your answers... my situation will not improve any time soon, sadly. It is quite heartbreaking.
I'm not sure where you live, but you should be able to get some sort of assistance. You have some sort of a choice to get out of this environment if you really want to. I grew up in a very abusive environment and I got the hell out when I turned 18. I had two jobs in order to pay for my studio apartment but I was so much happier. It seems like you are letting your environment control you and are just under the impression that you can't do anything, but you can! In Michigan, we have programs that offer free counseling to those without mental health insurance and also programs that help people with low income but who are working to get housing. Where there is a will, there is a way. If you really want to get out of this environment, you can make it happen. It doesn't sound healthy, but your attitude that you can't do anything about it is not healthy either.0 -
I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I really think that if you push yourself too hard to lose weight under these circumstances, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Yes it's possible to lose weight just by eating less, but the stress isn't helping you, and it's going to be difficult.
I'm going to cast another vote for prioritizing finding a job and a new place to live.0 -
A few weeks is NOT forever. I plateaued for months at a time. I think you need to focus on one thing at a time.
You're 21. Why are you still living at home? Especially if you aren't satisfied with your living conditions? You're an adult and you need to take control of your life. Find a new job and find your own place. There are social services available to help you... you need to research your options and make a plan. I I know it's tough when you have limited funds but you can cut the soda and drink tap water for sure, just for starters.0 -
It sounds like your biggest problem is you havent been doing much or any cardio to burn off that excess fat on your body
Not sure if serious or trolling.....0 -
Thanks. One problem... my household doesn't have these things because no one but me will eat them. I am actually tired of eating macaroni and cheese daily. And they don't really like to buy any kind of waters. I have very little money to buy things for myself at all. I am 21, yes, but I am unemployed because the company I was working for has shut down... ugh.
To all others, thank you for your answers... my situation will not improve any time soon, sadly. It is quite heartbreaking.
First off, Take a deep breath. Second, take a look at how far you have come....70lbs! That's amazing!!!! You should pat yourself on the back for a job well done. Third, drink water from the tap. Ditch the soda and take an extra walk and as you are walking start thinking of options you have. Look for open doors. It's not easy being your age, but it looks like just from what you have already accomplished, you can do anything you set your mind too! It's YOUR life and yes, you have control of it! Best of luck pretty girl, you have got this!0 -
It's hard to make positive, healthy decision when you're in that type of living environment. It sounds like your problem is not eating, it's anger, stress and frustration with your home life. I know I wouldn't do well if I didn't have support and if you're not getting that, something is wrong there.0
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Eat more and strength train, starting yesterday.
DITTO!!!0 -
Hi hun,
I know what you're going through and can only offer you more words of encouragement. You're worth the work and sacrifice to get healthy - even if it means going on unemployment and food stamps to cover your expenses. Definitely look into it because where there's a will, there's a way.
Also, I thought you might find this episode of Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition helpful. In season 2, Ashley is almost in your exact situation. You'll see how getting out of the house is her biggest helper in reaching a healthy weight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9oMWqWT9u8
Good luck and keep us posted!0 -
Stop eating cheese. I bet if you did just that, you'd see improvements. Not that cheese is bad, but it seems to be very integral to your diet, and generally not in a good way.0
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look up BodyRock workouts on YouTube. They're amazing. I realize a change of workout is a bandaid to what seems like some depression you've got going on there, but sometimes going in through a diff. route to kick depression's *kitten* is a good idea, and these workouts will seriously slap your body in the butt and wake it up.
But do pay attention to your frustration level and sadness. Some of that's totally normal and natural, just make sure there aren't other factors going on.
Also, try to change your food, experiment. Try more lean protein, drink a lot more water! And good luck. *hugs*0 -
It sounds like your biggest problem is you havent been doing much or any cardio to burn off that excess fat on your body
How about let's not say stupid things? It's too early in the day for that. Cardio isn't the only thing that burns fat.
Let's just use the general term exercise. It doesn't sound like she's exercising to help lose weight... that is much more accurate.0 -
Are you in a race for time? I've been on this journey for almost eight years and have maintained my weight for the last 2. I'd really like to get rid of those last 10-15 lbs, but to be honest I haven't been really working hard to do it. Recognize your excuses as just that. Don't try quick fixes, make changes in your eating habits. Fruit & veggies are not expensive (if you shop right), and don't use other people's eating habits as an excuse to not get them. If they're hungry, they'll eat 'em. Good luck to you!0
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JOIN MYCOMPAIGN0
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curious to why you skip so many meals a day?0
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Judging by the comments in your diary, you have some self esteem issues. You should probably talk to a therapist about this.0
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I really do get in trouble if I go outside for something like that. My family tells me I am just trying to pick up guys when that is not at all the case. I have had ONE boyfriend, wow. I think other girls might understand how this feels if they have crazy, overly religious parents.
I have a friend in this situation, and she's 28 years old! Reading someone else's story, I know that it's real. I mean, she can go out, but she will get an earful from her aunt when she gets back. My friend only has a car b/c her aunt got it for her (my friend pays over $700./mo for it) to make sure she can get to work so she can contribute financially to the household. Every time my friend is out, her aunt thinks she is out being a *kitten* or doing drugs.
Anyway, I can understand your situation. Keep working hard to find employment so you can stand on your own two feet. The situation may not get better when you think it should, but if you have even an ounce of faith and a desire to do something about your situation, it will get better in due time.
As far as your calories in/out, like the others have stated, do push ups, sit ups, knee raises. These things can be done in your room by your self - you can do kicks, squats, punches, jumping jacks, jump rope w/o the rope, back kicks....
As far as calories, if there are healthier options at home other than mac and cheese, try that, and cut out the sodas and replace them with water. You will begin to see a difference.0 -
I don't know how old you are but i take it that you're living with your parents and not making money, so you can't buy your own food and make your own choices.
Really, take a look at what your bmr is, your tdee and substract 500 calories from your tdee. That's what you should est per day. Lean foods, veggies and fruits is what will make a difference in your diet. I don't know how much your metabolism isn't affected, but i can guarantee it will make an improvement in your health at least.
If you can, ditch the soda for good and replace it with water. If you're like me and don't like water, drink diet soda until you see you're mentally strong enough to switch to water.
you do need your exercise. If your household already treats you like garbage... What difference does it make if they treat you like garbage because you went for a run? At least you'll know you did something good for your health. You should do both cardio and strength training in an ideal situation. If you can't do such a plan, go for a half an hour run at least three days a week.
As for your daily eating plans, you need fresh food. Ask a family member outside your household to talk to whoever is in charge of buying food that you need real food, not junk.
I don't know, it's hard to diet without your family/household support. And it always seems they're judging you, observing every move and critizising at your back.
Maybe you can team up with a friend and have a couple of meals a week at his/her place, sharing the meals costs and learning new recipes. It wouldn't be much, but it could make a difference, while looking forward to a lifetime commitment.
Best of luck!0 -
I really do get in trouble if I go outside for something like that. My family tells me I am just trying to pick up guys when that is not at all the case. I have had ONE boyfriend, wow. I think other girls might understand how this feels if they have crazy, overly religious parents.
I have very religious parents, but never once did they question my going for a walk. Have you considered that stress may be keeping your weight from dropping? Excess levels of cortisol, and all that? Why don't you invite someone to go with you, so they can see that you're just doing it to be healthy, and not pick up the fellas?0 -
Bump0
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Oh, and why not try to get a job at a grocery store or Subway? That way you could have a job, get out of the house, and maybe get discounts on healthy food. I know at some Subways you get a free 6 inch sub on your shift.0
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Can't your family meet one of your closest friend's family members so that they actually know who you're spending time with and the kind of quality time you're having with that friend? That way you could go to have meals at that friend's house (bonus points if it's a friend from church)I really do get in trouble if I go outside for something like that. My family tells me I am just trying to pick up guys when that is not at all the case. I have had ONE boyfriend, wow. I think other girls might understand how this feels if they have crazy, overly religious parents.
Or maybe going to visit a relative a couple of times a week wouldn't be a bad idea?
Go grocery shopping with your family, and ask them to buy fruit and veggies and to let you experiment in the kitchen. making a sandwich with only fresh ingredients would make a huge difference, or having macarroni with a light homemade sauce (no cheese on it!).
What if you tell them you discovered a new love for home cooking? They can't say no to that, that means more time their little girl stays at home!
They must be wanting you to get fat so that you never get a boyfriend and you stay at home forever or hopefully, become a nun or something. At least they might be wanting you not to become physically attractive for the opposite sex XD0 -
I don't mean to sound insensitive but the fact of the matter is, you are the ruler of your life. You want a change, then you have to make it happen.
Weightloss is 90% caloric intake management. Working out doesn't cause weightloss directly. It makes your body more efficient so that you can use calories better. However, it's not a requirement of losing weight, so if you were eating appropriately and consistently, you should still be able to lose weight even if you are not working out on a regular basis (though I recommend doing something)
Easy solution to working out? Calisthenics. No equipment required, don't have to go outside to do it, none of that. You can use household objects for resistance training.
I guess I don't understand why the fact that you're the only one that will eat the good foods is a reason why you can't have them. A Monster energy drink 16oz can costs anywhere from $1.50-$3 depending on where you buy it. You can get at least 2 apples for that. Cost of mac & cheese? let's say 88c for the box, add 25c for butter and 50c for milk, that's around $1.50 too, you can get some lean meat for that. You don't have to buy in bulk.
My parents were pretty strict with me growing up, and gave me a curfew when I was living with them in college. If you're not in school, I don't see any reason why you would be living at home still unless you have special needs. I didn't see if you were in the US or not but if you are, the government is not going to give you assistance if you are living with your parents, because they consider the entire household income when deciding on foodstamps and stuff, and I imagine you are being claimed on your parents' taxes as a dependent.
I say, go to your local grocery store, get a job, get paid, and buy good foods for yourself before coming home. If they are that adamant about you running to pick up guys, ask for a treadmill (LOL)
Ultimately though, it sounds like you're looking for a quick fix solution where there isn't one, and sympathy where there isn't really going to be much. Time to buck up and get moving.
I'd have to agree. Take control of your own life. Period. The end. You can change it. We cannot.0
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