Ladies, What do you look for?

six1908
six1908 Posts: 99 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm trying to learn more about women. Not to be weird or strange just to help me better understand how ya'll think. I've got 6 years in Psychology and I think Freud said it best when he said, "The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is "What does a woman want?"

I am asking just that. What do you look for in a potential guy? I have lost 24lbs since starting my weight loss journey, 17 since using MyFitnessPal and to be honest, I'm looking for someone, not real hard, but my confidence has definitely went up. So yeah, let's get the conversation rolling and maybe I can learn something. Thanks!! :-)
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Replies

  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    I want candy.
  • perfecting_emptiness
    perfecting_emptiness Posts: 49 Member
    To be held tightly. And if not then sex ;) my hubby fails at the former but makes up for it with the latter
  • Jessi_Brooks
    Jessi_Brooks Posts: 759 Member
    I love a funny guy. If a guy can make me laugh, then Im attracted right away. I like optimistic guys. I hate when men (well women too) flip out over little things - laugh it off instead. Confidence is sexy...Cockiness is not! I personally dont like sensitive guys, but I know lots of women do. Chivalry is not dead. And I want an independent man, that doesnt get intimidated by my independence. And ofcourse Id like him to share the same interests in me.

    So where can I find this man?! :ohwell:
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Being as honest as possible, don't try to figure out what women want then act accordingly. Be confident in who you are and be yourself. Women like all sorts, and there are many out there who like whatever you happen to be. Don't change to get a woman. Put yourself out there and find compatibility.
  • nikolglb1
    nikolglb1 Posts: 7
    What women look for is not the same as what women want....because what men look for is not the same what they want, correct?
    I don't know why the men think the women are so much different from them. I believe we are in the time when most of the things are getting unisex. There are no more typical women's and men's jobs anymore, men are becoming willingly "stay at home moms", we are all seeing and admiring to certain extend the "metrosexual" fashion. We all know that men cry, men could be insecure, not confident, getting overwhelmed... What I want to say is: just try to learn more about your fellow men, so as to see that he is not that different from us...the same is true for the men - try to learn more about us and don't put us in a box, give us a name and a role....BECAUSE EVEN THE BEST ACTOR/ACTRESS CANNOT PLAY THE SAME ROLE INDEFINITELY...
    JUST LEARN AND ACCEPT THE WAY WE ARE....WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT AND IN THE BEAUTY IS IN DIVERSITY...just my 2 cents guys!
  • nikolglb1
    nikolglb1 Posts: 7
    What women look for is not the same as what women want....because what men look for is not the same what they want, correct?
    I don't know why the men think the women are so much different from them. I believe we are in the time when most of the things are getting unisex. There are no more typical women's and men's jobs anymore, men are becoming willingly "stay at home moms", we are all seeing and admiring to certain extend the "metrosexual" fashion. We all know that men cry, men could be insecure, not confident, getting overwhelmed... What I want to say is: just try to learn more about your fellow men, so as to see that he is not that different from us...the same is true for the men - try to learn more about us and don't put us in a box, give us a name and a role....BECAUSE EVEN THE BEST ACTOR/ACTRESS CANNOT PLAY THE SAME ROLE INDEFINITELY...
    JUST LEARN AND ACCEPT THE WAY WE ARE....WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT AND IN THE BEAUTY IS IN DIVERSITY...just my 2 cents guys!:smile:
  • kaylaandthestarcatcher
    kaylaandthestarcatcher Posts: 836
    Different women want different things.

    Personally, I enjoy somebody who shares my interests, makes me laugh, and I feel comfortable around (which is a big deal for me, yay social anxiety.)
  • BACONJOKESRSOFUNNY
    BACONJOKESRSOFUNNY Posts: 666 Member
    QgJUL.gif
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Last I checked women were individual people...and individuals tend to like what they like which may or may not reflect upon those with similar features, cultural backgrounds, hair color, height, and so on.

    Sooooo.......


    Maybe trying to figure out women while generalizing them is not such a good idea if you really want to get to know them.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Last I checked women were individual people...and individuals tend to like what they like which may or may not reflect upon those with similar features, cultural backgrounds, hair color, height, and so on.

    Sooooo.......


    Maybe trying to figure out women while generalizing them is not such a good idea if you really want to get to know them.

    This.
  • LuccyH
    LuccyH Posts: 266 Member
    Personality and that ''click'' between woman and man, you know, where you can share things, have laugh, be spontaneous, talk about anything.
    And then eyes and lips. :wink:
    Body can change any time, from being healthy to fat or from being fat to healthy.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    similar interests, a cute *kitten* and weather u can get along.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    It depends on the woman. Honesty is generally considered to be a good trait. Kindness, too.

    Yeah. We're almost like people. :wink:
  • MrsSardone
    MrsSardone Posts: 194 Member
    QgJUL.gif

    I'm dying!
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Obviously, it's different for everyone, but if you are looking for individual responses, then here's MY perspective. For me personally, I like that my husband puts me above all others. I am the most important person to him and he is the same to me. The most irritating thing to me is a mama's boy or some guy who is co-married to his buddies. The same goes for women, too. Women who cling to their parents and/or seem to be glued to their BFF's are the same. Friends and family are important, but they should take second place to your mate, in my opinion. :heart:
  • penith113
    penith113 Posts: 113 Member
    I think you'd have to ask more specific questions to get the type of answers you are looking for. Maybe pick a trait or characteristic and ask women if they like or dislike that quality in a man and why.
    I agree that each woman is different but there may at least be trends towards or away from certain qualities.
    I think most women would agree that honesty, kindness, sense of humor, confidence are attractive.
    But, you could put a woman in a room with a man with all the qualities she says she likes in a man and she still might not be attracted to him.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    Man, if Freud couldn't figure it out..
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
    Some women are all about looks. Others don't really care. For me, there is nothing sexier than a smart man with a good sense of humor. Oh sure, the eye candy guys are nice to look at but if they start to speak and sound like illiterate buffoons it's such a massive turn off that they lose all appeal. OTOH, a decent looking guy who can discuss current events and has a sharp wit can become very appealing.
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    Ask ten different women, you'll get ten different answers.
  • SomeoneSomeplace
    SomeoneSomeplace Posts: 1,094 Member
    Confidence without arrogance
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
    Well...historically I've gone for the guys I had no chance in hell of a happy ending with. Commitment phobe....gay..... that sort of thing. Any issue that would prevent a future.
  • Yo_Lazarov
    Yo_Lazarov Posts: 56 Member
    What I look for in a man I have already found in Matt, my fiancé.

    But to strictly answer your question, what some (or me look) for in a man:

    -Strong morals (no cheat/deceitful, not lie, not be womanising, be respectful)
    -Great personality (fun, exhilarating, exciting)
    -Into sports (athletic build)
    -Caring, loving, protective, supportive
    -A 50-50 approach to our relationship

    List could go on... but I fear it might bore you.

    One sentence struck me a while ago... Become the person you want to be with. Cultivate the skills, knowledge, physique... you name it... that you would like to see in your partner.
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
    I want a man who is:


    Family man who likes animals:
    IF you have ever run to wal-mart at 9pm because someone’s poster is due tomorrow …. You might be the man for me.
    IF you have ever had to tell a pet or a child “Don’t lick the TV” …. You might be the man for me
    IF you have ever referred to your dogs (or cats)as your 4 legged children … You might be the man for me
    IF you have ever attended a fish funeral …. You might be the man for me
    IF you sometimes find yourself saying the words “When I was your age” …. You might be the man for me.
    If you get so tired of reading the same children’s book that you start making up your own words to the story that might possibly involve stuffed animals going on a rampage... you might be the man for me

    A bit of a geek:
    IF you have a zombie apocalypse escape plan … You might be the man for me (bonus points if it included Twinkies)
    IF in selecting a movie you ask "Does it have anything that eats people in it?”… You might be the man for me
    IF you know what wow, dps, and hps stand for… you might be the man for me
    IF you can do a dead on impersonation of a Murlock … You might be the man for me
    IF you have never uttered the words “Who is General Failure and why is he on my hardrive?”…You might be the man for me.
    If you know that the answer to life, the universe and everything is 42.... you might be the man for me

    Hardworking
    If you believe a coffee bean counts as a vegetable … You might be the man for me
    If you believe the only good things that come to those that wait are the things left by those that hustle … You might be the man for me
    If you believe it is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness…. You might be the man for me.


    Local to AZ
    IF you know from experience that asphalt has a liquid state… You might be the man for me
    IF you know a seat belt can be a branding iron… You might be the man for me
    IF you think the Circle K sign should be the state tree… You might be the man for me
    IF you know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink. … You might be the man for me

    Handy around the house:
    IF the fire alarm does not beep when you walk by the stove … you might be the man for me.
    IF you didn’t have to buy all your underwear in colors because the wash turns them pink anyway … You might be the man for me
    IF you didn’t say “wash???” out loud just now … You might be the man for me
    IF the green stuff in your fridge is a vegetable and not cause for a CDC investigation….You might be the man for me.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    A big ****.
  • torylinnangel
    torylinnangel Posts: 253
    I like a guy who can say the right things at the right time and actually mean them. I also look for someone who likes me for who I am, and will always have my back.
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
    I think the reason that the question "what does a woman want" cannot be answered is because no woman represents all women

    if we all are expected to be alike then of course it will get confusing
  • ElizaRoche
    ElizaRoche Posts: 2,005 Member
    honesty, taller than me, and fun personality... thats pretty much what I ask for, yeah of course looks matters, but I dont have specific rules, I can like slim guys, I can like chubby ones, latinos, white, blue eyes, brown, etc, as long as his personality catches my eye, im doomed LOL
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
    A bottle of wine (currently into sweet reds) and a box of expensive chocolates, preferably Godiva truffles. ;)
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
    I think people who put any real emphasis on looks are doomed to failure in the love category. I hear people say "well you have to have some attraction". Nope, you really don't. If the person is a great person and they treat you really well and you have a bunch in common, they will become attractive to you. If they are gorgeous but treat you like crap, have no time for your hobbies, and are shallow then they will become unattractive to you. Why sit and focus on the outward appearance when it will change? People do not stay the same year after year. You will gain and lose weight, your hair will get thinner, your skin will sag, and you want someone who will still love you so don't make mutual attraction a part of your foundation or you are destined to fail. "In Love" is a chemical reaction but "LOVE" is a choice and it will be a choice you have to make everyday sometimes multiple times a day. If you are dependent on "In Love" without real "Love" to back it up then you are already a lost cause. Place personality, common goals, ambition level, beliefs, and emotional maturity level at the top of your list and consider looks as a bonus item.
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
    Humour, kindness, brains, kindness, mojo, kindness, WILLINGNESS TO CLEAN 50% OF THE TIME, kindness.

    And, not suffering from any ongoing mental health problems, addictions, etc.

    If he's got good timing for one-liners, can dance, and is WILLING TO CLEAN 50% OF THE TIME, I'm basically good.

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