Dieting with a skinny spouse!!!
JRT3sMom
Posts: 36
Trying to diet with a skinny spouse is very tough. Since I met my husband 13 years ago I've gained 113lbs. Over the years I've lost a few few lbs then gained a lot. As soon as I'm doing great he wants to go out and eat. I tell him he can eat whatever he wants but I'm going to stick with the more healthier options. Sure enough he picks a place with zero healthy options then stress the fact that he would not eat unless I eat as well. He's underweight for his height so of course I want him to eat so I give in. I tell him I think he's trying to keep me fat. He denies it. I started MFP last week and I have lost 5lbs so far. I told him because I was so excited. He turned around and bought chocolate covered raspberry filled donuts and basically shoved them in my face. Losing weight is hard enough. Anyone with a similar situation? If so how are you dealing with it? Feel free to add me as a friend.
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My husband isn't skinny, but he has quite the appetite and doesn't give a second thought about eating whatever he wants! And then he brings home candy, soda, etc.!!! Sometimes having calories to count helps keep me in check, but I'm still trying to figure out how to practice restraint with this crap around.0
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You gained all that weight simply because you went out once in a while?
You can eat pretty much anything as long as you burn it all. I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I think you're making excuses. In every relationship everyone learns something from other partner. Some good, some bad. You have not learned the good from your partner to eat moderately and are now blaming him
Also, did he literally shoved them in your face? Because if so, might wanna look at your relationship. If not, ask him to take it away since you're trying to lose weight and him bringing all these goodies is not being supportive. You have to remember us ladies put the guys in a tough spot. They try to show affection, we label them unsupportive. Explain to him why a particular action of him is being unsupportive.
Eat, be active, be healthy0 -
Before I met him I walked daily with my friends. I would park my car and just walk around city. After I met him I moved in with him out in the country with no friends and no where to go. We ate out everyday. He do not eat anything in moderation he just have the metabolism of a teenage boy.
Re-read my post I did not blame him for my weight gain I blame him for sabotaging it. And FYI you do come off as harsh. I asked for comments from people with similar situations not for someone to criticize my situation. Do me a favor and just get lost.0 -
You gained all that weight simply because you went out once in a while?
You can eat pretty much anything as long as you burn it all. I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I think you're making excuses. In every relationship everyone learns something from other partner. Some good, some bad. You have not learned the good from your partner to eat moderately and are now blaming him
Also, did he literally shoved them in your face? Because if so, might wanna look at your relationship. If not, ask him to take it away since you're trying to lose weight and him bringing all these goodies is not being supportive. You have to remember us ladies put the guys in a tough spot. They try to show affection, we label them unsupportive. Explain to him why a particular action of him is being unsupportive.
Eat, be active, be healthy
Before I met him I walked daily with my friends. I would park my car and just walk around city. After I met him I moved in with him out in the country with no friends and no where to go. We ate out everyday. He do not eat anything in moderation he just have the metabolism of a teenage boy.
Re-read my post I did not blame him for my weight gain I blame him for sabotaging it. And FYI you do come off as harsh. I asked for comments from people with similar situations not for someone to criticize my situation. Do me a favor and just get lost.0 -
I have a husband who probably could lose 10 pounds but for his height hes basically normal size. He loves eating out and fast food. I spend $100 on groceries and hear 'there's nothing to eat' hahah basically cause its healthy and doesn't sound good to him. I just do me. He can go get food and eat what he wants and I just say no. No one can MAKE you do anything you don't want to. Yes it would be nice to have a husband who wants to eat healthier with me and everything but he is supportive of my choices...and I am the one who gained not him, plus I am a foot shorter so i can't eat near as much as him. It may not be easy but you just have to do whats best for you. My husband says come the new year hes going to be right there with me, yes that would be great but It doesn't change my goals.
Just make better choices and don't let anyone decide for you. As far as restaurants, don't do it often, get a workout in and make better choices. Most restaurants you can customize anything, get a sandwich on whole wheat no mayo and eat half with veggis. I mean its doable anywhere you go. Plus if you workout a lot you get those extra calories for a reason.
I just had to realize along the way, it was MY fault I gained weight..no one else. Once I accepted that and stooped making excuses (husband wanted food, boss brought burgers in, friend wants to meet for dinner) I started making changes.
Good luck.
PS! and trust me I KNOWWWW its hard. And its soooo easy when he says 'hey babe lets go get food, you look great you can cheat one night' ... Just keep at it girl!0 -
Well done you for losing 5lbs so far.
Sometimes people can just eat and eat and eat and don`t put on weight ( I wish I was one of them) and sometimes people don`t like to see the people around them change, they worry that it may affect them.
Sometimes you can be with someone and they are like those comfy slippers and you worry that if they get a new pair of slippers they may just waltz off in them.
Maybe you need to give him some more reassurance. He obviously cares about you whatever size you are.
But all that is his problem not yours. Do it for yourself and explain to him your reasons why you want to do it..maybe be a bit harsh with him` support me or not, but I am going to do it`
PS Marina was being a bit harsh in the way she worded it but on the forums sometimes you won`t get everything `sugar coated` in your favor it it just the internet.
But good luck and keep working at it x0 -
You gained all that weight simply because you went out once in a while?
You can eat pretty much anything as long as you burn it all. I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I think you're making excuses. In every relationship everyone learns something from other partner. Some good, some bad. You have not learned the good from your partner to eat moderately and are now blaming him
Also, did he literally shoved them in your face? Because if so, might wanna look at your relationship. If not, ask him to take it away since you're trying to lose weight and him bringing all these goodies is not being supportive. You have to remember us ladies put the guys in a tough spot. They try to show affection, we label them unsupportive. Explain to him why a particular action of him is being unsupportive.
Eat, be active, be healthy
Before I met him I walked daily with my friends. I would park my car and just walk around city. After I met him I moved in with him out in the country with no friends and no where to go. We ate out everyday. He do not eat anything in moderation he just have the metabolism of a teenage boy.
Re-read my post I did not blame him for my weight gain I blame him for sabotaging it. And FYI you do come off as harsh. I asked for comments from people with similar situations not for someone to criticize my situation. Do me a favor and just get lost.
Re-read the bolded area and judge for yourself how defensive you come off as...
He has the metabolism of a teenage boy because he's active. You started that post by saying "before I met him". Sounds like blaming to me. Once again, I'm sure you can still walk around. Maybe make some new friends or since you live in the country, you can walk around and explore the new surroundings!
I'm sorry that you felt the need to get defensive. I won't take offense to your rude behavior since, once again, you are trying to blame somebody else. However, I personally find it offending when people blame their spouses for their failures.
Once again, be active, eat well, be healthy!0 -
hey, my hubby is like that. hes 6"2 and weighs like 150 maybe. [so really tall and thin] and he eats like its going out of style. me on the other hand, im 5"7 and 195 lbs, trying to lose weight, and he eats instant stuff all the time. its really hard cuz hes the one who can cook in the house, so alot of the time he makes dinner0
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My husband isn't skinny but he eats anything he wants and loves to go out to eat. That has nothing to do with me. It's called willpower. He can bring home 10 dozen donuts if he wants, I don't have to eat them. We go out, I make the best choice, eat the portion I want and have them box the rest.
You'll never get control of your weight until you take responsibility for yourself. He's not sabotaging you, you're sabotaging you. You're making excuses for your failure before you barely get started. Unless he literally is holding you down and shoving food in your mouth (to which I'd suggest a divorce) then he has no bearing on your weight. You may think it's harsh but it's the truth. You can either make excuses or you can do what you need to do. It's in your hands.0 -
My husband isn't skinny but he eats anything he wants and loves to go out to eat. That has nothing to do with me. It's called willpower. He can bring home 10 dozen donuts if he wants, I don't have to eat them. We go out, I make the best choice, eat the portion I want and have them box the rest.
You'll never get control of your weight until you take responsibility for yourself. He's not sabotaging you, you're sabotaging you. You're making excuses for your failure before you barely get started. Unless he literally is holding you down and shoving food in your mouth (to which I'd suggest a divorce) then he has no bearing on your weight. You may think it's harsh but it's the truth. You can either make excuses or you can do what you need to do. It's in your hands.
You're right. I rarely ate out before I met him and when he's away for work I lose and maintain, but as soon as he get home I fall back into old habits with him. I know I have what it takes to make healthy choices I just need to stick with it. Willpower is my main focus right now. So early in my current journey it's hard to stay focused with temptation all around you. But I know I can do. There's nothing like a big dose of reality lol.0 -
I'm in a similiar position with my husband. He frustrates the hell out of me though. Goes on how healthy he is, trains 6 days a week ( don't get me started there either! ). Yet smokes, whinges if I pack lunch when we go out, rather than driving through somewhere, complains there's nothing to eat- translate to there's no junk food in the house, I'm going to starve.
In the last 15 months I'm completely changed my life around. Now in the last 4 months or so, I've gotten stronger though. I just refuse now. If he wants to get Mc Donalds, that's fine I'll either pre-pack my food ( which I do 99% of the time anyway). With eating out, I just refuse to go, unless it's somewhere we can both eat. It seems that I'm willing to comprise at times, but he won't budge.
All I can suggest is to remain strong, remember how great you feel when living healthy. And just suggest to eat at places that you can both get something you want. Or do what I do, bring out my chicken, brown rice, beans and broccoli in the middle of Mc D's, while he's scoffing his face. He's only ever done that once lol.
Mel0 -
My husband isn't skinny but he eats anything he wants and loves to go out to eat. That has nothing to do with me. It's called willpower. He can bring home 10 dozen donuts if he wants, I don't have to eat them. We go out, I make the best choice, eat the portion I want and have them box the rest.
You'll never get control of your weight until you take responsibility for yourself. He's not sabotaging you, you're sabotaging you. You're making excuses for your failure before you barely get started. Unless he literally is holding you down and shoving food in your mouth (to which I'd suggest a divorce) then he has no bearing on your weight. You may think it's harsh but it's the truth. You can either make excuses or you can do what you need to do. It's in your hands.
You're right. I rarely ate out before I met him and when he's away for work I lose and maintain, but as soon as he get home I fall back into old habits with him. I know I have what it takes to make healthy choices I just need to stick with it. Willpower is my main focus right now. So early in my current journey it's hard to stay focused with temptation all around you. But I know I can do. There's nothing like a big dose of reality lol.
Do the best you can as much as you can. It gets easier with time and believe it or not after awhile the appeal of a lot of those "bad" things goes away. Last week my hubby wanted to eat at McD's. They had a 2 can dine for $9.98 on Big Mac's. I don't remember the last time I ate one but I had it with him. It didn't taste nearly as good as I remembered and I felt so bloated and crappy afterwards I won't do it again. Once your body gets used to eating healthy and in proportion it seems to just come natural. Hang in there.0 -
My husband is skinny and might be under weight. I think the only thing keeping him from being too thin is that he likes his sweets. We don't go out often together but I always eat what I want out and still do okay with losing weight. He used to put cookies and such in my hand and it took a couple times asking him not to do that before he finally stopped. He still eats his sweets and at times asks me if I want some. It really varies if I say yes or not. Its not his issue to worry about so I just use moderation when I really want something sweet. He is very proud of me and I don't feel like he is trying to keep me big or anything. Good luck with going forward with your diet.0
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My husband is skinny - he's around 5'11 and between 155 and 160, tops. And i am jealous of how he can eat without gaining weight.. The other day, he had 3 hot dogs w/ 3 pieces of bread (110 cal each bread) and that was just a snack! I checked out his daily totals, he ate a whopping 2900 cals, and the next day, he was only 2oz heaver than he was the day before. Lucky jerk. I so much as look at cheesecake and I gain 10lbs.0
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My husband isn't skinny but he eats anything he wants and loves to go out to eat. That has nothing to do with me. It's called willpower. He can bring home 10 dozen donuts if he wants, I don't have to eat them. We go out, I make the best choice, eat the portion I want and have them box the rest.
You'll never get control of your weight until you take responsibility for yourself. He's not sabotaging you, you're sabotaging you. You're making excuses for your failure before you barely get started. Unless he literally is holding you down and shoving food in your mouth (to which I'd suggest a divorce) then he has no bearing on your weight. You may think it's harsh but it's the truth. You can either make excuses or you can do what you need to do. It's in your hands.
You're right. I rarely ate out before I met him and when he's away for work I lose and maintain, but as soon as he get home I fall back into old habits with him. I know I have what it takes to make healthy choices I just need to stick with it. Willpower is my main focus right now. So early in my current journey it's hard to stay focused with temptation all around you. But I know I can do. There's nothing like a big dose of reality lol.
There are a few things that you can do to get some habits changed. I don't know your schedules, but maybe if he's off at work, start cooking dinner before he gets home. That way, you have no need to eat out.
If he has a work one week off one week type of job, pre cook a few reheatable meals like lasagna, spaghetti and meatballs, soup, chicken fajitas and such. Add a huge side salad and you have meals for every day of the week.
I buy a lot of quick and easy meals to throw together. Frozen fish filets I throw in a pan of lemon and pepper, canned vegetables I heat in a pot, A LOT of sandwiches, salads, eggs and tortillas. I almost always have bread, eggs, tortillas, vegetables, fruit and cheese. Add a bag of chicken breasts and you have a combination of ingrediants you can make 100 different meals from.
My BIGGEST change had to be having the patience to come home and make food, rather then say fvck it and go through the drive through or out to dinner. Once you come to terms with its going to take time to prep and prepare fresh meals, it'll start getting a bit easier. You'll take 3 minutes to put a few slices of turkey breast on a piece of bread with a small serving of chips, rather then run to mcdonalds and get a big mac because you realize its just not worth it.
Keep in the mindset of healthy lifestyle. A lot of people on this site that have lost 100 pounds have had periods where they fall off the wagon for weeks and even months but the most important part? They always get back to it. It takes YEARS to cultivate a healthy lifestyle that rids you of those extra pounds. Don't let one meal or one day get you down, but you ALWAYS have to get back up.0 -
My husband is skinny - he's around 5'11 and between 155 and 160, tops. And i am jealous of how he can eat without gaining weight.. The other day, he had 3 hot dogs w/ 3 pieces of bread (110 cal each bread) and that was just a snack! I checked out his daily totals, he ate a whopping 2900 cals, and the next day, he was only 2oz heaver than he was the day before. Lucky jerk. I so much as look at cheesecake and I gain 10lbs.
If he does any type of work that's hard work, that's what most guys his size would eat for maintenence.
This is a generalization of course*0 -
He works at a convenience store.. It's semi- laborious, but not crazy exercise. I did the same job when I was pregnant with our son. Tonight, he had 3 chicken burgers, and an entire mixing bowl of mashed potatoes. I don't get how he can eat so much!0
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I think when you have the type of situation you do, it makes you stronger, because they challenge your desire to improve so often. I know it is hard to manage...but if you keep resisting, it will eventually be easier and every success you have makes the next raspberry donut (or whatever) easier. You will be strong over time. I say thank him and try not to be offended by it. It must be he just doesn't get it...
Keep at it - you will be hugely successful!0 -
I know how you feel. my husband is not overweight, and barely has an ounce of fat on him. I was 125 when we met, I'm 140 nos (7 months postpartum). I've been working hard to lose the weight, it's coming off slowly. BUT! once a week or so, he brings home donuts or bagel for breakfast after dropping our daughter off for daycare. He has this grin like "look what a nice gesture I did for you!" so I feel guilty by not eating what he brings me.... so I try to balance out the rest of the day's calories. Also, he eats ice cream every night and has at least 1 beer every evening after work. I have a desk job and a 2 hour commute (all together) every day... so it's tough. Not to mention that when he cooks (i'm so lucky he cooks) it's usually a big pasta dish or casserole that is mainly pasta. He means well, I know, but his habits aren't changing any time soon.0
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My boyfriend eats like a pig as well. I try to avoid going out but if I do, there are lower calorie options. Even a burger without a bun, with a side salad or veggies. It doesn't take much. I've been at this for almost a year and a half but I'm at the point where I can say no, for instance there's two boxes of chocolates on my coffee table, a bag of my favorite spitz, Pepsi in the fridge. Just think, is it really worth the 30 seconds of pleasure? Just don't over indulge, if I really have a sweet tooth, I'll eat a chocolate. But I log it and it usually means I have to cut back on something else. Also I try to think of it this way: one single chocolate is 53 calories, which is equivillant to like 25 or 30 grapes!0
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Same boat here. Boyfriend is @130lbs - 28inch waist. He works in an office, doesn't work out and eats like a machine. He has no problem scarfing 2 big mac's large fries coke and a bunch of cookies or half an apple pie on top of it.
The thing is..He is not the one on a 'diet' He does not have to watch his weight (though he has noticed the beginnings of a little belly so I'll bet he cuts back a little soon). If we go out to eat then I try to find something healthier - If I can't well then I can't and I try to eat a bit less of whatever the options are. If I can't do either then I eat and cut a little the next day or go for a walk..or I just don't worry about it and go on about my life the next day.
He does not come home and put food in my mouth. If he happens to bring home junk does not mean I have to eat it, sometimes I'll have a little taste but most of the time I just ignore him. You will always have people around who can eat more then you or who eat crap all the time..that's just reality. As hard as it is, it does get easier - just do your best to eat as well as possible and eventually you will see that it will be easy to make better choices.0 -
My ex husband was the same way. At one point I had lost 60 lbs, was a size 4 and had 19% body fat. I lifted heavy, ran long distance and felt really good. One day as I was reaching to put something away he said "You know, if you look any more manly I am not going to be attracted to you anymore" I SHOULD have said "eff you" and filed for divorce (many other issues that I was choosing to ignore) instead I quit exercising, stopped lifting, and started all my bad eating habits again, which he was more than happy to accommodate. It's not that he liked me bigger, he just didn't like me happy or successful. Whenever I failed at anything, he was right there to point out what I did wrong or offer suggestions, but when I was successful he deemed me "lucky" or whatever I achieved was not really that hard. He is and was an *kitten*.
If your husband loves you at all, he needs to be supportive of your efforts. And you need to tell him that this is the lifestyle you want to lead for you and that if he loves you he will support your efforts not hurt them.
The one thing I have learned over the past four years of being divorced is that I am the ONLY person that can fight for me and if I don't do that then no one else will either.
Good luck and be stronger than the donut. It's just flour, sugar and water, it's not magic. Fight for yourself, because I can tell you right now, no one else will if you don't. And if the one person you want to support you and help you then maybe they aren't the right person for you.0 -
I read a number of posts but it looks as though you want some ideas and support. My ex-husband was like that, anything in didn't seem to affect his weight or overall 'fat' at all. He was very slim and his family isn't predisposed to being skinnier or fatter. He just simply burned without doing what seemed like a thing and for a girl who just had his baby and had gained nearly 100 lbs during pregnancy because of how he and his family ate it was super tough for me.
Getting down to where I am now, half that weight off and 4 years later, it took a lot of really hard work. I am predisposed to being overweight because of my genetics, culturally the inuit side of my family have always been overweight and no matter how hard they worked most couldn't fix the issue. I still fight it though, I am adamant about being what I see as ideal.
Though I see your point that he makes it hard for you to lose weight because of his choices it is truly up to you to tell him that his choices are hurting your chances of succeeding. Ask him to look from your point of view, how much you have to work to burn off those extra calories/fat that you consume and what you are allotted in a day and he might understand what it takes and why it has been affecting your success.
Good luck darling, you will get there.0 -
Great job on the 5 lbs., keep it up!
I custom order my food when I go out. I can't think of the last time I ate straight off the menu. It doens't take any longer no matter what people say. They will bill you the same price as the food dripping in carbs, fat and salt, but I at least I can eat out with friends and family without the guilt. There are some places I just can't go to anymore though. Chinese has too much salt and gluten. Pizza is all gluten and dairy. I miss it, but I don't miss the 34 lbs. I've lost.
Move the tempting food he buys and puts in the house and put your healther stuff where you can immediately see it. Apples in a bowl on your kitchen counter. Shove the bread to the back of the fridge and put your healther cereal box on the counter not in the cabinet.
They eventually come around, my kids did. They don't even care what I make now, because mom's food is better then peanut butter sandwiches.
It's unfortunate, but you may hvae to accept that he has higher metabolism then you do and needs higher carb food. My ex-boyfriend was like that. I had to shovel food into him or he looked like a refugee from a 3rd world country. Just be ready to eat healthy when your husband needs to eat more, higher carb food.
We're proud of you, keep up the work!0 -
You need to talk to him- and share your concerns. Obviously he associates food with fun, and so do you. Blaming someone for your choices will give you zero results. You can talk to him, ask if he prefers to keep you overweight, and you feel he is contributing to your overall weight gain. My son in law is like this- he eats really unhealthy and a lot- but he also walks miles a day to work, (no car) so he can. My daughter has steadily gained a lot of weight (also with a pregnancy). They don't have the $$ to eat out- but they do get food stamps, and a lot of food. And that first few months I really saw bad habits forming- but for them it was also about hardly having enough food for a long time. So its now balancing out. She hardly ever buys the stuff she did- if they really want it, she'll get some- but not a lot. And he's adjusted- complains but he doesn't do the shopping.
I assure you that you can do this. You have to make your mind over on the matter and stick with it. Tell him, if you spend the money on that grease loaded pastry- please understand why I won't eat it. Start cooking at home- plan meals- take charge and responsibility for some of what is going on here. He wants to go out- tell him you want to stay in and make a romantic meal together. Almost any high fat food at a restaurant can be modified to a healthier choice. I have a lot of tips on this (seriously my kids never knew half the stuff I did to help them).
In the long run you'll be helping both of you. He may be lean, but that doesn't make him healthy with that diet, and over time, it will catch up to him as he ages.
So- take responsibility for one thing now- you control what you put in your body- and you can do this! Nothing, nothing, nothing tastes as good as healthy and fit feels!!
Hugs!0 -
I actually do think it is easier with a skinnier spouse. I had a 'larger' bf & we ate out ALOT:explode: . My skinny bf and I don't eat out as much & I'm not encouraged to eat. For example, we do more things together besides eating :flowerforyou: , so we don't look at eating as an 'activity' to do together, ya know?
My father always pushes sweets on my mom when she tries to loose weight but when she doens't try to loose weight he's extremely rude by saying "oh, you don't need that". :brokenheart:
Skinny (maybe guys expecially) guys don't understand what it means to loose weight if they've never been fat. It takes ALOT of effort on your part.
You can do it
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My husband is athletic, without even trying. He has ankle problems, so can't workout with me alot and he eats like 5 times as much as me (and lots of junk) and won't gain a pound.
However, since I got serious about weight loss, his attitude has come along. He hated seeing me upset about my weight or appearance and wants to help me. I'm sure your husband would feel the same if you explained why losing the weight is so important to you.
My nutritionist also told me that both of us have to work together and have a healthier lifestyle overall if I want to succeed and he has started helping me do that, especially when it comes to sweets in the house, and taking walks with me for cardio.
He now understands that guys have a different metabolism and that he might be able to eat anything and get away with it, but I can't. You need to talk to your man and explain it all to him. He might love you the way you are, but you need to love yourself and your own body too and you'll feel more confident once you lose some weight.0 -
SQUAT!
among other things.
Get into a good weight training program.
Hit your macros, get enough protein, AND make room in your day for the donut!
You wont be sorry! I am sure not!
:flowerforyou:
http://startingstrength.wikia.com/wiki/The_Starting_Strength_Novice/Beginner_Programs
http://stronglifts.com/stronglifts-5x5-beginner-strength-training-program/
Also, I creeped your food diary...looks like you are eating WAY too little...depriving yourself in order to get where you want in a hurry is setting yourself up for failure.
If you want to chat about it, feel free to PM me..I started off the same way, but learned a TON here about how to eat AND enjoy life.0 -
THIS IS NOT A PLACE FOR JUDGEMENT OR BRINGING SOME ONE DOWN!! THIS IS A PLACE OF ACCEPTANCE AND CHEERING EACH OTHER ON!! I AM DISGUSTED WITH YOUR RESPONSES MARIA_LOVE!!!!! BE SUPPORTIVE OR (pardon my words Im about to use) F**K OFF!!!!You gained all that weight simply because you went out once in a while?
You can eat pretty much anything as long as you burn it all. I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I think you're making excuses. In every relationship everyone learns something from other partner. Some good, some bad. You have not learned the good from your partner to eat moderately and are now blaming him
Also, did he literally shoved them in your face? Because if so, might wanna look at your relationship. If not, ask him to take it away since you're trying to lose weight and him bringing all these goodies is not being supportive. You have to remember us ladies put the guys in a tough spot. They try to show affection, we label them unsupportive. Explain to him why a particular action of him is being unsupportive.
Eat, be active, be healthy
Before I met him I walked daily with my friends. I would park my car and just walk around city. After I met him I moved in with him out in the country with no friends and no where to go. We ate out everyday. He do not eat anything in moderation he just have the metabolism of a teenage boy.
Re-read my post I did not blame him for my weight gain I blame him for sabotaging it. And FYI you do come off as harsh. I asked for comments from people with similar situations not for someone to criticize my situation. Do me a favor and just get lost.
Re-read the bolded area and judge for yourself how defensive you come off as...
He has the metabolism of a teenage boy because he's active. You started that post by saying "before I met him". Sounds like blaming to me. Once again, I'm sure you can still walk around. Maybe make some new friends or since you live in the country, you can walk around and explore the new surroundings!
I'm sorry that you felt the need to get defensive. I won't take offense to your rude behavior since, once again, you are trying to blame somebody else. However, I personally find it offending when people blame their spouses for their failures.
Once again, be active, eat well, be healthy!0 -
You gained all that weight simply because you went out once in a while?
You can eat pretty much anything as long as you burn it all. I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I think you're making excuses. In every relationship everyone learns something from other partner. Some good, some bad. You have not learned the good from your partner to eat moderately and are now blaming him
Also, did he literally shoved them in your face? Because if so, might wanna look at your relationship. If not, ask him to take it away since you're trying to lose weight and him bringing all these goodies is not being supportive. You have to remember us ladies put the guys in a tough spot. They try to show affection, we label them unsupportive. Explain to him why a particular action of him is being unsupportive.
Eat, be active, be healthy
^^^ this.
to the OP, i'd say this...
1) excuses are irrelevant. either change or don't. but stop blaming somebody else or something else. it's YOUR body. you control it. nobody else does.
2) stop expecting the world to change just so you're not tempted to cheat on your diet. you are on your "journey" ALONE. it's just you. it's selfish and foolish to expect others to change their lives just so it's easier for you to change yours. the world doesn't work that way.
the good news is that if you can embrace the truth in 1) and 2) above, then 1) and 2) will never matter to you again. you will never feel sabotaged by somebody else EVER AGAIN. that's real power. that's real change. knowing that you are in complete control of YOU will allow you to tackle anything that life can throw at you. for now, that's losing weight. but the principle applies to anything else you put your mind toward doing. e.g., when you learn that other people's negativity is irrelevant, there's nothing you can't accomplish.0
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