Family saying I am getting too skinny when I am not?

nintento64
nintento64 Posts: 17
in Health and Weight Loss
Does anyone know why families fail to show support when it comes to fitness/losing weight/health?

I think it's because they are overweight themselves but because they don't do anything about it they have to put others down for actually taking action...
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Replies

  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
    Without knowing anything about you (how tall are you? How much do you weigh? What do you want to lose?) it's impossible to say.

    Sometimes your family is jealous. A lot of times they care and worry.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
    The solution is not to talk to them about your weight loss. If they start, change topics or leave the conversation.
  • Amberonamission
    Amberonamission Posts: 836 Member
    The second I told my family about my weight loss was the second they started sabotaging me. Food gifts are a constant now. So funny because before this they would have never sent me food.

    The best thing I have learned this Christmas is that I am not saying one more word to anyone about this. I can handle it alone. I am going to have to.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
    We can't really tell. It is possible that they're right and they're just worried about you. It could be that they have a skewed idea of what's healthy and what's skinny. We can't know which is true.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Based on your avatar photo they might be correct. Your round head is as big as your torso. I'm no expert but I think your torso should be at least two if not three times bigger than your head.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    It can also be because they consider themselves normal sized. I suffered from that delusion. But Lozze is correct, maybe you are too skinny and are in denial on the other end.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    Based on your avatar photo they might be correct. Your round head is as big as your torso. I'm no expert but I think your torso should be at least two if not three times bigger than your head.

    ROFL!
  • straightjacketjacob
    straightjacketjacob Posts: 74
    I think they just want you to feel good being you. My grandma is always trying to feed me.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    I think they're just not used to you looking different. I used to get the too skinny thing too. After keeping the weight off for quite some time no one says that anymore.
  • brtrentgl
    brtrentgl Posts: 130
    Does anyone know why families fail to show support when it comes to fitness/losing weight/health?

    I think it's because they are overweight themselves but because they don't do anything about it they have to put others down for actually taking action...
    that's probably it, the people that see you a lot or what their used too is so different. My family asks me why I want to lose weight and I'm at 180# lol
  • beachpoodles
    beachpoodles Posts: 30 Member
    I think many people are content with where they are and have never felt or researched enough to possibly improve their own lifestyle (they may not need too). Families and food = love to so many and I dont always feel people are doing because they are jealous, when many times, they just don't get your goals or why you are doing it.

    Talk to your family in depth about your goals......you could be surprised on the positive reaction, or not but its worth trying. I have a few family members now on FP because I shared information, its amazing when people GET IT :)
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    When my younger sister was preparing to enter her senior year of high school, She wanted to lose weight so I put her on a sensible but strict diet (1800 calories a day since she was active, No grains/starches.. lots of protein lots of vegetables and also some fruit and some healthy fats) Over the course of 9 months she lost from 220 down to 160. That's just 6.5 pounds a month.. certainly not an unhealthy weight loss. Now her ending weight was 160 which at 5'5" is still in the "overweight" category.

    You would not BELIEVE how many adults grilled her on her eating habits and suggested that she had an eating disorder and was getting too thin. Not just family members, TWO teachers at school also approached her on this! I don't understand why... Maybe because she had been overweight for her whole life and people just couldn't get used to her new size? I wonder if it also had to do with her shape.... she was and still is an extreme pear shape.. so when she was 160 pounds, her top was a small and yes, you could see a few ribs, but her bottom was a 12/14. Maybe they only noticed her top as she was quite good at camouflaging her bottom half. I don't think it was jealousy that inspired these comments. I do think it was genuine concern, but still it was annoying and even a bit offensive so I understand your frustration.
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
    I would just dress conservatively and only talk about it to people that are supportive.
  • Larela
    Larela Posts: 17 Member
    I ignore my family when it comes to this kind of stuff. My side of the family has all sorts of eating disorders so I figure their opinion is skewed so it doesn't count. My husband's side of the family is tall and skinny so they will never understand weight issues. I usually change the subject.
  • Larela
    Larela Posts: 17 Member
    .
  • Larela
    Larela Posts: 17 Member
    Based on your avatar photo they might be correct. Your round head is as big as your torso. I'm no expert but I think your torso should be at least two if not three times bigger than your head.

    Lol !
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    So did we come to a conclusion?
  • Minki1990
    Minki1990 Posts: 44
    Does anyone know why families fail to show support when it comes to fitness/losing weight/health?

    I think it's because they are overweight themselves but because they don't do anything about it they have to put others down for actually taking action...

    My dad flipped when I told him I want to lose more weight and gain some muscle to be a fitness model. I don't think they truly understand what being healthy means, they associate being in shape as anorexic or having a eating disorder.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    If they are accustomed to being around people that are heavy or unfit, that becomes an adjustment to what is their "normal" view of people, so slender people can suddenly seem too thin (even if that person is the same size they have always been). And they may be saying it out of concern (even if the concern is misguided).
  • cjsacto
    cjsacto Posts: 1,421 Member
    I had a couple people tell me I was thin enough and didn't need to lose more weight as a way of trying to be complimentary and supportive, in their way. They were trying to tell me I looked good. (Note, this was NOT recent, this was many years ago when I did lose quite a bit of weight... which has now crept back on. On my current efforts, no one has really noticed yet.)

    Anyway, I found it a bit condescending and a little insulting at the time, as I clearly was still bigger than the people telling me this. To me, it was a blatant lie, like telling someone their lousy food tasted good or that a bad haircut looked nice. But, I think they were well-intentioned and had no ulterior motives to sabotage me. I just looked a lot better than I used to and they couldn't picture me thinner than that.
  • kaitlyng97
    kaitlyng97 Posts: 3
    I can see where you are coming from, because I am also in your position, but I also see where your family is coming from. My father is constantly commenting that I am too skinny and that I look annorexic (which I myself don't believe is true), and he is fairly overweight. He is none too impressed that I would like to lose another 10-15lbs.
    Even though it hurt my feelings, I know he wouldn't say anything unless he was genuinely concerned for my health. It is not that they are "failing to show support", because family members are generally proud of one another, but more so that they worry we may develope an appearance complex, which is compleatly understandable.
    I am not going to stop striving to acheive my fitness goals because they say something that I find discouraging, but rather I am going to try to understand how they feel in an attempt to reassure them.
    I hope that this gave a helpful insight. Good luck on your journey.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    You know, our bodies are our bodies. Whatever happened to "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything"?

    I never tell people they are too fat or too thin! I am an accountant by day, a church musician at night and weekends. I can barely keep my own body healthy much less someone else's...

    BUT... either comment coming my way would make me stop and evaluate to be honest. Especially from someone I know cares about me. In the end, we all know we need to be incorporate fitness in our lives as bet we see fit. Part of that is asking others for objective opinions. Family members,friends and coworkers - God love them - are not always objective. I actually went to a Doctor of Performing arts to validate my goal weight range and nutrition plan were a-0k... and so I can sail on with confidence and have that truth to respond to the people in my life that voice concerns.
  • darcy2102
    darcy2102 Posts: 27 Member
    Sometimes it's jealousy (and people don't always know the right way to handle that emotion) and sometimes it's just a natural concern (are you losing weight because you want to or is there something wrong, are you sick). Because weight loss is such a personal thing but is very visable to the world people just don't know how to react correctly. My parents, who were easily a good 50-60 pounds overweight each, actually called me to their house once to tell me that they were concerned about my weight. I was carrying about 10 extra pounds, and they thought it was unhealthy (somehow they seemed to forget that I had just had a baby and was still trying to get back into shape). They meant well, but it really hurt (since this happened almost 28 years ago, and I still remember the conversation clearly, you can tell it hurt). Sometimes people just don't know what to say!!!!
  • snowbike
    snowbike Posts: 153 Member
    I used to get this alot. They gradually give up and accept your new body and some will eventually come to you asking "how can i do what you did?"

    For me the turning point was when I started entering and competing in endurance sports. They could no longer accept my size as unhealthy and their's healthy when I can ride a bike 100 miles and they cant walk up stairs without getting out of breath.
  • GetFit187
    GetFit187 Posts: 3
    I get that alot from my parents they always smashing on how im getting skinny but im really in the healthy range goshh

    Also can some help me out im really confused about results im receiving from the elliptical computer it say ive burned 150cals after smashing 7 1/2 miles in 32mins is this just inaccurate or is that what im supposed to be getting really seems to less to be true ?
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    Based on your avatar photo they might be correct. Your round head is as big as your torso. I'm no expert but I think your torso should be at least two if not three times bigger than your head.

    LMFAO
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
    My wife currently deals with the same thing. All of the women in her family have body types that range from 'spare tire' to 'omfgblimp', and as such, they view her 145 lbs. at 5'4" as too skinny.

    Best solution: ignore them.
    My solution: tell them that maybe if they weren't total lardasses they would understand the effort and commitment.
  • GetFit187
    GetFit187 Posts: 3
    can some help me out im really confused about results im receiving from the elliptical computer it say ive burned 150cals after smashing 7 1/2 miles in 32mins is this just inaccurate or is that what im supposed to be getting really seems to less to be true ?
  • annepage
    annepage Posts: 585 Member
    Definitely feel where you're coming from. My mom did the same thing the first time around with my weight loss and started doing it again the second time around. In her case though, it's her perception of what a healthy "weight" is for me. Being called "stick" and "skinny" when you know you're not is quite annoying. I guess if you want to be sure, you could have a chat with your doctor about what your weight should be for your body type? I did because I genuinely wanted to know and was told about 30 lbs less is where I should be.

    As long as you know you're at a healthy weight and confirm it with your doctor, that's all that matters.
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
    Not entirely sure what happened with this post. o_O

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