Family saying I am getting too skinny when I am not?

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  • kaitlyng97
    kaitlyng97 Posts: 3
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    I can see where you are coming from, because I am also in your position, but I also see where your family is coming from. My father is constantly commenting that I am too skinny and that I look annorexic (which I myself don't believe is true), and he is fairly overweight. He is none too impressed that I would like to lose another 10-15lbs.
    Even though it hurt my feelings, I know he wouldn't say anything unless he was genuinely concerned for my health. It is not that they are "failing to show support", because family members are generally proud of one another, but more so that they worry we may develope an appearance complex, which is compleatly understandable.
    I am not going to stop striving to acheive my fitness goals because they say something that I find discouraging, but rather I am going to try to understand how they feel in an attempt to reassure them.
    I hope that this gave a helpful insight. Good luck on your journey.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
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    You know, our bodies are our bodies. Whatever happened to "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything"?

    I never tell people they are too fat or too thin! I am an accountant by day, a church musician at night and weekends. I can barely keep my own body healthy much less someone else's...

    BUT... either comment coming my way would make me stop and evaluate to be honest. Especially from someone I know cares about me. In the end, we all know we need to be incorporate fitness in our lives as bet we see fit. Part of that is asking others for objective opinions. Family members,friends and coworkers - God love them - are not always objective. I actually went to a Doctor of Performing arts to validate my goal weight range and nutrition plan were a-0k... and so I can sail on with confidence and have that truth to respond to the people in my life that voice concerns.
  • darcy2102
    darcy2102 Posts: 27 Member
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    Sometimes it's jealousy (and people don't always know the right way to handle that emotion) and sometimes it's just a natural concern (are you losing weight because you want to or is there something wrong, are you sick). Because weight loss is such a personal thing but is very visable to the world people just don't know how to react correctly. My parents, who were easily a good 50-60 pounds overweight each, actually called me to their house once to tell me that they were concerned about my weight. I was carrying about 10 extra pounds, and they thought it was unhealthy (somehow they seemed to forget that I had just had a baby and was still trying to get back into shape). They meant well, but it really hurt (since this happened almost 28 years ago, and I still remember the conversation clearly, you can tell it hurt). Sometimes people just don't know what to say!!!!
  • snowbike
    snowbike Posts: 153 Member
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    I used to get this alot. They gradually give up and accept your new body and some will eventually come to you asking "how can i do what you did?"

    For me the turning point was when I started entering and competing in endurance sports. They could no longer accept my size as unhealthy and their's healthy when I can ride a bike 100 miles and they cant walk up stairs without getting out of breath.
  • GetFit187
    GetFit187 Posts: 3
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    I get that alot from my parents they always smashing on how im getting skinny but im really in the healthy range goshh

    Also can some help me out im really confused about results im receiving from the elliptical computer it say ive burned 150cals after smashing 7 1/2 miles in 32mins is this just inaccurate or is that what im supposed to be getting really seems to less to be true ?
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
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    Based on your avatar photo they might be correct. Your round head is as big as your torso. I'm no expert but I think your torso should be at least two if not three times bigger than your head.

    LMFAO
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
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    My wife currently deals with the same thing. All of the women in her family have body types that range from 'spare tire' to 'omfgblimp', and as such, they view her 145 lbs. at 5'4" as too skinny.

    Best solution: ignore them.
    My solution: tell them that maybe if they weren't total lardasses they would understand the effort and commitment.
  • GetFit187
    GetFit187 Posts: 3
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    can some help me out im really confused about results im receiving from the elliptical computer it say ive burned 150cals after smashing 7 1/2 miles in 32mins is this just inaccurate or is that what im supposed to be getting really seems to less to be true ?
  • annepage
    annepage Posts: 585 Member
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    Definitely feel where you're coming from. My mom did the same thing the first time around with my weight loss and started doing it again the second time around. In her case though, it's her perception of what a healthy "weight" is for me. Being called "stick" and "skinny" when you know you're not is quite annoying. I guess if you want to be sure, you could have a chat with your doctor about what your weight should be for your body type? I did because I genuinely wanted to know and was told about 30 lbs less is where I should be.

    As long as you know you're at a healthy weight and confirm it with your doctor, that's all that matters.
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
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    Not entirely sure what happened with this post. o_O
  • wonderstruck91
    wonderstruck91 Posts: 107 Member
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    I get this constantly. Its frustrating.
  • yaddayaddayadda
    yaddayaddayadda Posts: 430 Member
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    LOL... My sister in law uses the endearing term, "chicken-chested" when she is trying to say that I'm too skinny. (I always thought chickens were grown to have big chests though). Although I have never used it, I could refer to her as Manatee-like.

    It is interesting to me that it's OK to insult someone because they are skinnier than you, but it is insensitive to call someone fat.

    Ignore your family and do what is best for you and your body...
  • fitmommy75
    fitmommy75 Posts: 50 Member
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    I didn't tell anyone I was on a journey of weight loss. Once I started showing a good deal of weight loss family and friends started with the guilt trips about me not going out to eat much anymore. I received so much food as gifts this year too. Most of it went in the trash. I also started running this year and kept that to myself until my brother announced that I had signed up for a half marathon. Now, I catch a lot of crap at home for wanting to go out and run for an hour.
  • amann1976
    amann1976 Posts: 742 Member
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    before and after pics would help
  • thingeringer
    thingeringer Posts: 241 Member
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    Based on your avatar photo they might be correct. Your round head is as big as your torso. I'm no expert but I think your torso should be at least two if not three times bigger than your head.

    Too cute. Thanks for good laugh before I head out to pick up a lady minute gift!
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    parents also don't want to see kids fail or push themselves to extremes.

    they also can be a little clueless about things too. i mentioned to my dad that i had started weight lifting, and i was enjoying myself, and that i was taking some protein powder to help out with muscle development. he called me two days later warning me not to take steroids like i used to do.

    yeah, i took steroids once. i lost my voice and the doctor prescribed about a weeks worth of steroid pills to help with recovery. so my dad took it to mean that i was juicing.
  • neanderthin
    neanderthin Posts: 10,020 Member
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    The flip side of the coin is, that you are skinny and posting here for reassurance can be triggering for people that have poor relationships with their body and/or food......not that this is you, just mentioning it and why sometimes the wrong information is given.....nobody want to contribute to a trigger for that type of condition. :smile:
  • zentha1384
    zentha1384 Posts: 323 Member
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    A lot of it depends on the person and their personality. My immediate family is very supportive of my weight loss. My mom was one of those mom's that always used to say "I didn't weight what you weight at your age" or "You should try losing some weight" "If you aren't careful you will end up Diabetic" "The clothes you are wearing is too tight"

    Now that I have lost weight, my mom constantly tells me how good I look and how proud of me she is.

    Now take my cousin, she is the jealous type (I had a better upbringing than her) and will try any way possible to prove she is better than me, and ignore any way she isn't. She will make those backhanded complements whenever she can. A few years back I got in a snide condensing voice "Looks like you have lost a little bit of weight (I had not and she knew it), Soon you might fit into the same size I'm wearing" She was wearing 18s and at the time I was in 16s.

    Bottom line, not everyone's family sabatoage and it really depends on the personality type when they do. If you look at what my mom did, she said some things that were really not nice when I was really overweight, she thought she was helping me. Now she isn't. It is possible it is your family is doing the reverse of this. They think they are trying to help you because they think you are under weight.

    Don't be too quick to judge, they do love you. They may think they are helping you or just be insecure with themselves.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
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    I'm getting the same. Gets kinda annoying. I LOVE people noticing my weight loss, but I do not love being told to stop losing weight when I am still fat.
  • annepage
    annepage Posts: 585 Member
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    I'm getting the same. Gets kinda annoying. I LOVE people noticing my weight loss, but I do not love being told to stop losing weight when I am still fat.


    Agreed.

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